Look, there isn’t any real reason for you to play this game… it’s not like you win anything if I like your answer the best… but you do get bragging rights for having the best title for any of these, because I have the best, most clever commenters in the wordpress world, and if you are funnier than them, well… that would be something!
So name this picture!
Or the one I did earlier…
Or the ones I will do later…
Just name it!
Just something to think about…
This post goes with the post I did a little earlier… which you should really read… if you hate this guy… I almost titled this post: A reptile electile dysfunction… but I didn’t want to confuse you…
The thing is… and this is a weird ‘thing, even when compared to most of my ‘things’… but the thing is that we were all lured into a false sense of reality. We mistook political correctness for actual progress. We thought we had trained, using nothing more than social pressure, our bigots and haters into no longer being bigoted and hateful. Now we can see how wrong we were.
They didn’t go away. They didn’t get reformed. They didn’t get more open-minded. They just got good at not saying hateful and bigoted things out loud.
Now, along comes Trump… and he comes right out and says hateful and bigoted things against all kinds of groups… women, minorities, entire races, people of different sexual orientations and so on, and the crowd goes wild.
Well, you better be looking at that crowd at the republican debates, America. Because that is you. It is your ugly, stinking underbelly that resides down in the swamp of human indifference and self-righteousness… and you can try to explain it away by saying that it is the smaller part of you, but icebergs and alligators don’t work like that. The part that basks in the sun and therefore becomes enlightened isn’t the vast majority… it is, at best half, and at worst… less than that.
You can tell yourself that these are just fringe whackos… people with chips on their shoulders, the leftover, dying breed of dinosaurs that are slowly becoming extinct, but how sure are you really? Because they come from all walks of life, every socioeconomic level, and all parts of this country. They are your neighbors and they are your own family. And you can’t change their minds. You can try, and create rifts that will tear your family apart, but that won’t do it. That won’t stop them from thinking they are right.
And America, like one, big dysfunctional family, is being torn apart too. Politics has been replaced by obstructionism. Debate had been overshadowed by pompous proclamation. Compromise has become ultimatum. State’s rights are now a platform for taking rights away from people.
Free speech is not an excuse for fear mongering. Religion is not a pulpit from which to preach intolerance.
And the fact that these people can rant about family values while claiming that only they can define what a family is, or cynically ignore the fact that the constitution is there to separate church and state while using religion… the very religion they all ignore when it gets in the way of their goals, mind you… to stir people into a frenzy of ‘us against them’, is just wrong in every sense of the word.
Yes, I get your anger, I understand your frustration. Politicians have ruined this country in so many ways. The process is broken. The way forward is not clear. But is you feel you need to show the establishment how angry and frustrated you are, can’t you at least find someone who isn’t full of hate? Hate isn’t going to fix the problems. Hate is going to get us into worse problems.
Yeah, we had actual ice on our car windows not too long ago… welcome to winter, Southern California style!
(Author’s commentary): Well, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that it won’t be much longer before all the seven kingdoms have fallen to the evil empire, except for one. The good news is that princess Hildy and her loyal band have got a real start on forming a resistance army to battle the bad guys. Yes, things look desperate now, but I have complete faith in Hildy and the other princesses… and the one captured Skull prince… and the bumbling young king… and the feisty young farm girl… and the trader captains… and the rest of them… to begin to turn the tide.
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The Seven Kingdoms
Chapter 14
By the time the black ship entered the bay, there was nothing happening on the decks of any of the ships in the harbor that would give even the slightest hint of their preparations for war. An expected number of sailors on each ship were relaxing or going about routine chores. A few were fishing, a handful were, supposedly, dozing. The black ship seemed to studiously ignore all the other ships, most especially the black ship that was already in port, as it anchored close to the docks.
Hildy and her commanders, as she had come to think of her royal friends, were in the captain’s cabin with captain Reef, watching the Skull ship through the windows and the half-opened door. The black ship had anchored too far away for them to see the faces of the crew, but they watched and discussed their options.
“I think that fellow pacing the deck waiting for the longboat to be launched is my half-brother, prince Dezlore,” said Nudge.
“My lookouts still aren’t reporting any other Skull ships approaching, princess,” the captain informed her.
“Well, if the Skull prince is going ashore to speak to the king, then maybe I should try to see if I can attend the meeting as well,” suggested Hildy.
“Our boats are already in the water,” the captain reminded her. “You can beat the Skulls to the castle if you hurry.”
As the Skull sailors were still hoisting a longboat off the deck and into the water, Hildy and Nudge were climbing into one of the Wavebounder’s boats and being rowed rapidly to shore. They arrived at a dock before the Skull party had climbed into their own longboat, and they beat the Skulls to the castle even though they had farther to walk.
Hildy and Nudge, wearing plain white tunics, found a corner of the great hall beside one of the huge fireplaces, where they could remain inconspicuous in the shadows. They kept their backs to the room while pretending to admire a small statue set in a niche. The statue was carved of rockwood and was of a king who had lived long ago. It was exactly the sort of thing that two young people from a farm or fishing village on the other side of the kingdom and had never been to the castle before might well stop and gawk at. Other visitors were wandering about, taking in the sights of the castle as well, and enhancing their camouflage.
The Skull prince and his escort of four soldiers entered the great hall simultaneously with the king and queen, though from opposite ends. “Yes, that’s my half-brother, prince Dezlore, alright,” Nudge confirmed, casting a quick glance over his shoulder. “He is also one of the princes who is supposed to marry one of the triplets once they come of age.”
“Will he recognize you?” Hildy asked, concerned.
“Not a chance,” Nudge answered. “We have been in the same room once or twice, but have never so much as said a word to each other. I doubt he would even remember it.”
“Greetings, prince,” the king was saying to his visitor. “We were just informed that your ship had sailed into our bay, and that you were on your way to the castle. And which Skull prince, exactly, do I have the honor of addressing?”
“I am Dezlore Vardigo Skull,” the prince answered. “It is to be my honor to marry one of your daughters.”
The king pretended to make a joke of this assertion. “Well, young Sir, you are a little early for the ceremony, I’m afraid. Three-and-a-half-years too early, to be precise.”
“Yes, most amusing, but things have changed, you see,” the prince said, sounding not at all amused. “My father has decided that, with all the troubles in the world, it would be better to move the dates of the weddings up a little.”
The king looked flustered by this pronouncement. “Moved up to when, exactly, young man?”
“There is a fleet of ships preparing to set sail from our homeland even as we speak, carrying two of my brothers. We seem to have, uh, misplaced one of the princes that was to have taken part in this historic alliance, but, not to worry, we found a suitable replacement. There is no shortage of Skull princes, you can be sure of that. I expect they will arrive the day after tomorrow.” The prince was a sour-faced individual, with the sallow complexion and dark hair of so many of his kin. He had a tendency to smirk. He also looked to be approaching middle age.
“This is preposterous!” complained the king. “My daughters are children. They are far too young to begin married life.”
“Yes, well, I assure you that they will be treated with all due respect,” the prince replied, sounding as if he wasn’t really sure that he believed his own words. “This isn’t at all an unusual occurrence in our kingdom, young ladies being married at this age, I mean. And, as I have said, the world is changing. These are troubling times. It would be best for you and your daughters, and indeed your entire kingdom, if you fell under the protection of our empire.”
“Protection?” asked the king in some confusion, “Protection from whom, exactly?”
“Protection from the vagaries and unforeseen difficulties of these tumultuous times,” replied the prince, his smirk now bordering on a sneer.
“I need time to consider this,” the king objected.
“Certainly, that is most reasonable,” the prince conceded. “You have until the day after tomorrow.” And with that, and a smile that definitely crossed the line into the territory of a sneer, the prince turned and swept out of the great hall followed by his four soldiers.
The king and queen spoke earnestly to each other for a while in tones too low for Hildy and Nudge to overhear from where they still pretended to be engrossed in the study of the small statue. At last, the king left the hall, looking not only lost in thought but lost in every sense of the word. As soon as the king was gone, the queen came over to stand behind Hildy and Nudge.
“It’s a lovely carving, isn’t it, Hildy?” the queen began. “It is of king Harlopp. It was said about him that, though he was over fond of his wine, he was a great king and loved to spend hours talking about anything at all with any farmer, fisherman, trader or craftsman that came to the castle.”
“We meant no disrespect by our eavesdropping, my Lady,” Hildy told the queen, “but we had to know what the Skulls have in mind. How long have you known we were here, if I might ask?”
“Hildy, I’ve known you since you were a baby,” the queen told her. “I spotted you the moment I came into the hall. I, too, wanted you to hear what the Skull prince had to say. And I am sorry that my husband hasn’t yet made a decision regarding all this. He is not a strong man. A good man, yes, but he is no fighter. I couldn’t, out of love and loyalty, push him any further than I did. Nor could I take it upon myself to initiate anything. But that time is past. The Skull prince said it best himself. These are troubling times. Word has reached me of your preparations to stand up to these Skull vermin… uh… no offense intended, young prince,” the queen amended, reaching out a hand to touch Nudge lightly on the shoulder.
“None taken, I assure you, my Lady,” Nudge said hastily.
“Now,” the queen continued, however reluctantly, “my husband is still unable to come to grips with this crisis. He cannot bring himself to commit his people to a war he does not think they can win. He is overwhelmed. He is adrift, and the storm will either drive him before it, or it will sink him. But my daughters will not sink with him. You must sail before the Skull fleet arrives, and you must take my precious children with you.”
“Certainly, my Lady,” Hildy agreed.
“I will bring them tonight,” the queen went on. “I don’t know where you can go, other than Smilingman. Perhaps queen Shylar will heed your words and be more willing to take up arms. I don’t see how victory is possible. I may only be buying my daughters a few weeks or months of freedom, and I may even be dooming my own kingdom to worse treatment at the hands of our enemies, but I will not hand them over while there is still a chance for something better. I will also bring you what I can to help in your struggle.” And with that, the queen embraced them each in turn, and then strode purposefully from the great hall.
Hildy and Nudge returned to the Wavebounder. Hildy was anxious, and more than that, she felt she had, without meaning to, set in motion the events that had led to so much misery being loosed upon the world. After brooding for a time, she reconsidered. She hadn’t caused the world’s troubles. Sped them up, perhaps, but not caused them. This was all the doings of the Skulls. And in a way, she decided, it might all be for the best. An enemy in the open was easier to fight against than one who crept into your kingdom through marriage, plot and intrigue, and then began to spread its poisonous rot from the inside. She steeled herself, knowing that she would give her last breath if need be to rid the world of this scourge.
The fleet was quieter than it had been in some time, playing the part of trading ships with nowhere to trade. No training could be done with the other black ship anchored close by. She wondered what prince Dezlore thought when he looked across the water and saw the Wavebounder, still in her black and white paint, with her black sails furled. Did he wonder if his half-brother was still aboard? She met with her commanders, told them what had occurred, and they once again discussed options while waiting for the queen to contact them.
The day dragged by, and the sun set. Hildy, once again in the uniform of an Evergreen soldier, paced the deck in the darkness. Her leather armor was hanging by the door of the captain’s cabin. She had a strange feeling she was going to be needing it soon. Not long after the sun set, a sailor on watch at the ship’s railing called her over.
“There is a boat approaching,” he informed her. “It carries no lanterns.”
“Good man,” Hildy responded. She was about to tell him to go fetch the captain, but the captain appeared, passing through a small puddle of light from one of the ship’s dim lanterns, and joining them at the railing. The captain peered intently into the darkness, lit only by a thin moon and a myriad of stars.
“That would be the company you are expecting,” the captain said with absolute certainty. “Four women in hooded cloaks, three of them very young, four sailors manning the oars, and four soldiers.”
Hildy once again marveled at the captain’s incredible eyesight as she waited for the queen and her daughters to climb up to the Wavebounder’s deck, joined and aided by the four Flame soldiers as well as by captain Reef. The three princesses immediately began chatting and asking questions, but their mother shushed them.
“I have much news, Hildy,” the queen said, once the girls had quieted and been shown the way to the captain’s cabin by the captain himself. “I have made some arrangements. Since my husband has no intention of using his soldiers, I have decided to send most of them with you. I love my husband dearly, but I love this kingdom just as much. Did you know that, before I became queen, I was the daughter of a shopkeeper in Flametown? That is where my husband first met me.”
“I had not heard that story, my lady,” Hildy admitted.
“My husband will forgive me. He will know that I have done what I am doing for our children and our people. I have cousins in the army. My older brother is a captain in the royal guard. I met with them, and they talked to the men. Almost all of them have volunteered to follow you, to fight the Skulls, even if they will not fight them here, at least for now. We all know this is our best chance. Hold Smilingman, Hildy, build an army, and then come back and liberate us. Liberate all the kingdoms. There is no other way.” The queen grasped Hildy’s hands as she spoke.
“I will do all that I can,” Hildy vowed, once more moved by the trust placed in her.
“There is more, the queen continued. “To make sure there is room for the 340 soldiers and 76 slingers, I am going to have my boat take me to all the Flame ships in the harbor, and ask the trader captain’s and crewmen to join you.”
Hildy gave an embarrassed cough. “My Lady, to be frank, your ships have already sworn loyalty to me, captain and crew.”
The queen gave a laugh of pure joy and hugged Hildy to her. “I knew I had placed my faith in the right person,” she said into Hildy’s ear. “My soldiers are also loading a large chest of coins and some other valuables onto your ship. Use them as you see fit.”
Hildy made a spontaneous decision. “My Lady,” she explained to the queen, “I will send boats to pick up your soldiers, so if you can have them all ready on the docks as soon as possible, I will need some of them for a little surprise I am planning for your unwanted guests on that Skull ship over there.”
“My men… your men… await your commands on the docks even now,” the queen said, “but what are you planning, my crafty young friend?”
“Have your soldiers that are staying here spread themselves out around the docks and beaches closest to the Skull ship,” Hildy replied, grinning into the darkness. “Because I am going to add one more ship to my fleet before we sail, and the crew that is on it now will be swimming ashore.”
Well, this has been fun. I know, we got a little sidetracked along the way, but we can finish up this series in a serious way… with an American icon that really is a good role model for young girls, even this long after World War Two. Because, say what you want about the Nazis, they did bring this country together, and they did give women a chance to… uh… flex their muscles, so to speak… or at least to work in many jobs that they had never been able to work in before. So, if you think about it, ladies… Adolf Hitler helped spawn the women’s equal rights movement.
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Pouring My Art Out by Arthur H. Browne is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.Based on a work at https://pouringmyartout.wordpress.com/.
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Pouring My Art Out 
Let’s talk about spam for a moment, shall we?
I do love my spam folder. I am a computer moron, so I have no idea how spam actually works. I hear the term ‘spam bot’, and I think about little robots that look like cans of spam with metal legs, running around inside my computer and climbing all over the interwebs like tiny, processed-meat-filled spiders… delivering tasty words, that, like their namesake… (Spam)… are a mishmash of ground up fat, gristle, bones and maybe some meat… if you are lucky.
Now, I don’t usually do more than one of these posts a week… but I just went to clear out my spam folder, and I found these four spams that were just too tasty to pass up. And the thing is… (and this is sort of a weird and suspicious ‘thing’)… but all of these were attached to the same post… a post I did long ago… a post called: ‘Unicorns vomit rainbows… in your dreams’…
Now, don’t get me wrong, that was a good post. (I highly recommend you do a post about unicorns and vomit and rainbows, and tag it with the word: ‘unicorns’ ‘vomit’ ‘rainbows’ and maybe ‘poop’… because I guarantee that you will get hits on it forever. If you look at my sidebar, you will see that post is still lodged firmly in my ‘Top posts and pages’ list.)
But now I am wondering… (hence the ‘suspiciousness’ of these spam comments all being on such an old post)… if maybe these spam comments, even if they end up in the spam folder, still count as ‘hits’ or ‘views’, and that is skewing our stats.
However it works, I hope this at least makes you curious enough to search… or click the link in the ‘top posts and pages list’ in the sidebar, and read the post about unicorns.
Anyway, here are the four spams, cut and pasted for you enjoyment:
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Spam: What’s up, all is going fine here and ofcourse every one is sharing information, that’s really good, keep up writing.
My answer: Thank you, Pakistani Bridal Suits, at a website that I can only assume is pimping out underage brides, for your kind comment. I appreciate the interest in my writing, and can always use encouragement. I particularly appreciate you encouraging my readers to share information. They don’t listen to me at all. Maybe you can get through to them. If you can’t trust an anonymous spam bot from an under-aged-bridal-brokerage, who can you trust?
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Spam: Ahaa, its good discussion regarding this post at this place at this web site, I
have read all that, so now me also commenting at this
place.
My reply: Thanks so much, Quest bars, at… ummm… I’m not really sure who you represent… a company that makes energy bars? A drinking establishment of some sort? But be that as it may, I am gladdened that you approve of our discussion about unicorns and whether they actually do vomit… or poop… rainbows. I worked hard on that post. I would point out that your comment isn’t really so much of a comment as it is just a proclamation that you made a comment, which you really didn’t, but I like that you read the whole thing. That’s more than most people do.
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Spam: Hi to every one, the contents existing at this web site are actually amazing for people experience, well, keep up the nice work fellows.
Me: Uh, thanks, ummm… okay, I can’t even tell who or what you represent… that is the most spam-botty email address in history… can I just call you Mr. Index Component Item List User? I like that you complimented my whole website. I mean, why not? Why limit it to just one post. I work hard on the contents of all my posts. I am not to thrilled that you give credit to multiple people… I am just one fellow, after all…
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Spam: Complexes can be completed after your typical exercise as a
fat-burning, muscle-shaping finisher.
Yours truly: Thanks for the wonderful advice, Female Hormone Weight Loss Pill, and, although I could do without you implying that I need to lose weight , or that it would even be safe for me, a man, to take female hormone weight loss pills… or, indeed, that even females should take them… and while I don’t see what this has to do with unicorns, I would like to have my muscles shaped… but I have Photoshop for that. I mean, I don’t really want my chest muscles to be shaped into breasts. Also, if I didn’t have a complex before, I sure the hell do now… so… uh… thanks.