The strange case of the multiplying balloons…

a 1

I was at work the other day, doing my sacred, sworn duty as a security guard, keeping the rich people who live in an exclusive community safe from any interaction with normal people who weren’t being paid to be there, when I spotted some hot air balloons nearby. As I have said, I see these all the time, so my main interest in them was to be sure they didn’t land inside the exclusive community, thereby forcing our residents to have to come face to face with people who were raised out in the wild.

a 2

I did… something… that kept me busy for a few moments, and then glanced up again at this incursion into our airspace. And now there were three balloons. Okay, no big deal, maybe I just counted wrong.

a 3

I did something… whatever it was… for another few moments, and glanced up again. Now there were four balloons. If the photos I took with my cell phone have led you to believe that more than a few brief moments had past, that is a false conclusion. The clouds have only moved in relation to where I stood when I stepped out to take the pictures. A total of less than one minute had past.

This has led me to leap to some obvious… but unlikely… conclusions of my own. Either we are developing stealth hot air balloons, or else there was some hot balloon sex action going on up in the clouds, and new balloons were being born.

Yes, I suppose they might have just risen from behind that line of trees, but that isn’t nearly as funny, is it?

a 4

Another sunset picture from my little guard house… which is actually almost half as big as my real house, better landscaped, and has a fancier, Spanish tile roof.

a 5

And a last photo of one of the balloons, thankfully passing right over the property… with its 800-or-so houses… which are all much larger than my own house. I joke with the other security officers that we should put anti-aircraft canons on the guard house roofs. But there is already a strategic plan of action to limit the number of times these majestic balloons infringe on our area of responsibility. We aren’t supposed to allow the follow trucks onto the property. This means that the balloon pilots and their paying passengers have to carry all the parts of the balloons… the big gas tanks, baskets, tubular metal frames, and the giant, rolled-up balloon itself… out of the property by hand, if they land inside. I have never seen this done yet. Maybe the other guards are just messing with me.

Advertisements
Posted in Stories of my life | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

tRump being led from the White House in handcuffs… would be the best episode of Cops ever!!!

Police car cut out on white background

Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A closer look… part 12…

imageedit_1_7557903140

I decided to do a few more versions of this photo I took, the close up of a small succulent plant…

a 1

Once again, I am just using that free online program called: Lunapic.com. The animation at the top is called: groovy rainbow.

imageedit_2_5443699225

There is also one called: kaleidoscoper!

imageedit_1_3022188298

It is fun, easy to use, and free.

imageedit_2_4393374945

And you can use it on any of your own photos!

imageedit_3_4701506067

Just make sure they aren’t huge files, or it takes a while.

imageedit_3_5866315025

Try the neon filter.

imageedit_4_2010228138

And then make it glow!

Posted in Everything Else | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Does tRump know anybody who isn’t shady, immoral, or an out and out criminal???

I have been trying to wrap my head around the latest developments in the many investigations involving tRump and the people who surround him like sad little moons pulled into the orbit of a gaseous giant pseudo-star.

I think, in a weird way, that the most amusing outcome from all of these investigations would be if everyone tRump knows or is related to, all end up in prison, while he somehow remains unconvicted… yes, spell checker, I know unconvicted isn’t a word, but it should be. It sums up the man nicely. Because he has no convictions whatsoever.

I have been trying to come up with a succinct name for the assclown circus posse that have aligned themselves with tRump. Here are a few of my ideas.

The asshole of evil- based loosely on the axis of evil. Although this is confusing, because it sounds more like it focuses on tRump himself, and not his followers.

The sphincter of life- which is like the circle of life, but this also suffers from the same problem as my first idea.

The grime syndicate-  and why isn’t there a good comedy TV series about an organized crime family… I mean, besides the news?

The refilled swamp- now with 78% more slime.

Future Federal Inmates Anonymous- a self-help group.

But maybe the one I came up with earlier, whilst rambling my way to this point in the post, sums it up best…

Assclown circus posse- how many assclowns can we fit into a 6 X 9 cell?

Posted in thinking about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A closer look… part 11… Special ‘famous artist’ edition…

a 2

Is that a small fragment of a famous painting by Vangogh? Sort of. That is what happened when I took this image…

a 1

Which is a macro close up photo I took of some small succulent plants, and used an artistic filter on. I did a few more as well…

a 3

There is the same image, if painted by Gauguin.

a 4

That is Rembrandt’s version.

a 5

That is how Escher would sketch it.

a 6

And that is Picasso’s interpretation.

Posted in My art | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The true hypocrisy of the republican party…

a 2

Just the fact that religious zealots who always talk about family values and the sanctity of marriage… you know… like that Pence guy… are still standing behind tRump, pretty much says it all. I guess, as long as the ‘president’ is still against abortion, gun control, and foreigners, he is good to go.

Posted in funny famous people pictures, thinking about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A sunset and a giant ghost spider…

IMG_1036

That is a sunset, as seen from where I spend most of my evenings, guarding a gate at an exclusive private community.

IMG_1039

When I am not busy taking calls and letting cars in, I have two giant video monitor screens full of smaller screens, showing live video from multiple security cameras, that I am supposed to keep my eyes on. It was dark outside, I glanced up, and there was a giant ghost spider dancing on one of the small windows. Scared the snot out of me.

IMG_1038

I should have expected it sooner or later. There are spider webs in a few of the video camera housings. But I didn’t expect it then.

Posted in Stories of my life, sunsets | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments