Unicorns vomit rainbows… in your dreams…

There are many myths floating around about unicorns. They have been told so many times that people have begun to confuse the fact with the fantasy. So I am taking it upon myself to clear up some of these misconceptions.

In the first place, that rumor that unicorns fart rainbows is ridiculous. Nor can a unicorn poop a rainbow or barf a rainbow. Rainbows are just light refracting through water droplets in the air. Obviously someone once saw a unicorn on top of a hill with a rainbow in the sky behind it, and leaped to some pretty silly conclusions. This is how vicious rumors get started.

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* Insert your own mental image of a unicorn projectile vomiting a rainbow here if you wish… I will not stoop to such lowbrow antics and cheap Photoshop trickery, and further sully the reputation of these beautiful creatures *

————————————————————————–

There is, however, a very rare fish called the unicorn fish, which has the unusual habit of farting bubbles that do indeed appear to be rainbow-hued. This is due to a soapy enzyme in the fish’s digestive tract that  refracts light when the fish is near enough to the surface for the light to reach it…

Perhaps this phenomenon is responsible for the cruel tales that people tell about the unicorns and their vile personal habits.

But I would like to share some facts about the noble unicorn;

Fact> Unicorns do not like cats…

Fact> Unicorns poop gold, but only once or twice per year…

Fact>  A group of unicorns is called a ‘horning’, not a ‘herd’…

Fact> Unicorns are not related to horses, narwhals, or the rhinoceros. They are actually an offshoot of the hamster family…

Fact> Unicorns are quite dangerous. They kill more people than Orcs, Daleks, Ring Wraiths, Krakkens, Dragons, Sith Lords, Vampires, Trolls, Goblins, Pooh Bears, Cybermen, Zombies, Leprechauns, Satan, and Betty White, all put together. So don’t try to pet them…

Fact> Unicorn vomit is extremely caustic…

My apologies. This post is a shameless attempt to bump up my stats.

Special thanks to Mr. Ed Hotspur at http://http://edwardhotspur.wordpress.com/ who told me his most popular post ever was all about unicorns vomiting rainbows. ..

Now pardon me while I go tag the hell out of this thing.

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About pouringmyartout

You will laugh at my antics... That is my solemn promise to you... Or your money back... Stop on by...
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110 Responses to Unicorns vomit rainbows… in your dreams…

  1. sector4 says:

    Hi,
    Could see us in the future of the unicorns make a horse racing and can build us top and drink a little beer with… Laughing out loud. Shit. Sorry ;)))

  2. Romaine says:

    This is unless naturally you intend to get some organic
    development hormonal agents from a supplement like Extreme Deer Antler.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Wow

  4. word696969 says:

    Looks like my dreams of selling unicorn vomit as sweet sticky rainbow candy just bit the dust. Imagine kids faces dissolve before my very eyes. Even selling unicorn poop as sweet sticky rainbow candy might be out because as much as folks like gold, they probably don’t want to take the chance to bite into golden poo.

  5. Renaldo says:

    The treatment for vitiligo is actually basic – redirect acid wastes via peeing instead of sweating
    through the lymphatic system.

  6. Shirley says:

    Normally, right after the initial game is played, the player who was knocked out very first gets to throw very first in the
    subsequent game.

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    • Welcome… I hope you have fun. Feel free to explore, but don’t get lost. There is lots to do. Please leave a comment on our post where we are trying to break the record for the most comments on a post… the link is at the top of the sidebar. And feel free to join our art contest.

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  9. UmaskYourMonster says:

    well then…. i feel strongly towards unicorn existence, alothough im not overboard about like some. just as a curious person, where, might i ask, did you get your “facts”?

  10. Hello there, You have done an incredible job. I’ll definitely digg it and personally suggest
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  11. janeybgood says:

    After reading this, I feel like I did the first time heard ‘I am the Walrus’. Confused, yet entertained.

  12. Anonymous says:

    I like no I love that baby unicorn

  13. Dino says:

    I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I absolutely enjoyed every little bit of it.
    I have got you saved as a favorite to look at new stuff you post…

  14. Ute says:

    My family always say that I am wasting my time here
    at web, except I know I am getting familiarity everyday by reading such good posts.

  15. Sasha says:

    I think everything said made a lot of sense. However, think on this, what if you typed a catchier post title?
    I am not saying your content isn’t solid, but what if you added something to possibly get folk’s
    attention? I mean Unicorns vomit rainbows in
    your dreams | Pouring My Art Out is kinda plain. You could glance at Yahoo’s home page and watch how they create news titles to get viewers interested. You might add a related video or a related picture or two to grab people excited about what you’ve got to
    say. Just my opinion, it would make your posts a
    little livelier.

    • ummm… I am actually famous for my clever titles. The name of the blog describes what I do and is a play on words that gets quite a few positive comments. The unicorn post was done because I learned that if you do a post about unicorns and rainbows, you will get hits from search terms almost every day. So I did that title with the express purpose of incorporating all those words into it so I could tag it. It was yet another cheap and shameless move to boost my stats, and it worked.
      But if you scroll through my old posts, you will see that I put a lot of thought into most of them. Also it is important to note that this blog is in no way designed to make sense… ever… it isn’t even a goal of mine.
      And mostly, I just plain disagree with you.

    • Did that reply sound mean? I didn’t mean it to sound mean, I mean I am not mean, I mean it. I do appreciate advice. I rarely take it, but I do appreciate it.

  16. “Rainbows are just light refracting through water droplets in the air.” Well now you’re just lending credence to the rumor that unicorns pee rainbows. And all for shameless stat boosting: I know a certain blogger who might be visited by the caustically vomiting unicorn fairy tonight.

  17. And your hotspur link needs repair. Just sayin’.

  18. So if a herd of unicorns is a horning, is a herd of unicorns in heat a horny horning?

  19. Rowan says:

    Your ploy worked – love this post! XD

  20. The stuff that comes out of your mind!! 🙂 Here is how you make unicorn poop that you can eat: http://www.instructables.com/id/Unicorn-Poop/

  21. penneyfox says:

    I realize I’m tardy to the party on this one but the link came through when you clicked on my site. Not only was this a freaking riot … but now that I’ve learned that unicorns really don’t poop rainbows, I’m questioning the rest of my childhood stories.

  22. This post cracked me up! LMAO!

  23. Nothing weird… and here’s a reason your post resonated with me. Oh, could be I’m an 8 year Burner and want hippies to die in tragic accidents involving public transportation and their tie-die clothing
    NOTE: Unicorn was originally meant to piss champagne.
    If I ever get married again (-inset loud Bronx Cheer-) I want the vomit added to aforementioned type art sculpture.

  24. Miss Rambler says:

    there is a list of things of things I will do to get more stats. this [whatever it is you just did] is not on that list.

  25. Tammy says:

    * Insert your own mental image of a unicorn projectile vomiting a rainbow here if you wish… I will not stoop to such lowbrow antics and cheap Photoshop trickery, and further sully the reputation of these beautiful creatures * ———— Hmm, couldn’t figure out how to do huh? LOL 😉

  26. I don’t like anything that can impale you and make you dead. Also, the unicorn stole the rainbow from gay people, who stole it from Jessie Jackson’s rainbow coalition, who stole it from a package of skittles, who stole it from Adolphe Menjou and Hayley Mills in Pollyanna, who stole it from the person who discovered prisms and stuff.

  27. I have to show this to my teenager! She will crack up. Good stuff.

  28. joehoover says:

    I see…so hamster murder bad…unicorn murdering cat good. my cat is disappointed.

  29. unicorns and vomit. dammit if only I had clued into this idea of tags earlier I’d be rich.
    Well no I’d still be poor but the unicorn thing would place me on a higher plane. Of shit. Which is a fine thing.
    No more posts about free beer, hookers or prostitutes. You’ve taught me the value of REAL tagging.
    Bless you my son.
    Bless Edward Hotspur as well.

  30. AJ says:

    Rainbow farts you say? I can’t stay to chat, I’m off to eat some Irish Spring and Tide laundry packs – I report back my progress. I am so stoked!!!

  31. It’s not my most popular post ever. It’s 3rd. This is because it’s awesome.

    Oh, yeah – PMAO, if you have a horse, this video will be interesting to you.

  32. Hobbles says:

    Again with the stats? I’m sure this will be a popular post though. I would like to suggest that unicorns don’t like cats because cats are too smart to believe in unicorns. Or it could be because cats ruled over unicorns from the beginning of time, because they were far superior. There is also the possibility that unicorns are jealous of cats. I’m not sure, but there must be some reason.

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