Taking the train to Germany… uh… wait… I changed my mind… I want to walk…

a 1There I am, sitting on a train bound for Germany. I like trains.

a 2This is me when I realized how fast we were going…

a 3We all know I suck at math… and Americans can’t do the metric system… but isn’t that like 200 miles an hour?

a 4We rented a car in Frankfurt, and then spent most of the day driving through places that looked like that.

a 5We saw a lot of happy German cows.

a 6And we ended up here… Rothenburg… a medieval walled town. And yes, I have been here before with my other daughter. She played with a bunch of other musicians in this very square about ten years ago. Only it wasn’t raining then.

a 7

I have added a few more pictures from the following day… when it wasn’t raining… just to fill this post out…

a 8Because Rothenburg really is the most charming town you could ever find.

a 9And there is the Italian restaurant we ended up having dinner in… after we did the Night Watchman’s tour… which you should Google… in the cold and rain… the night before I took that picture…

a 10That is what I looked like the night before, after wearing a wet hat in the rain for a few hours. My daughter took that picture right after I took my hat off. They were all laughing at me… my kid, my wife, my mom… sigh.

a 11We were planning to eat German food. Because that is what you do in Germany. But by the time we were all settled in and then did the tour of the town, and were sopping wet and freezing cold, this place, close to hotel, seemed nice. And it was awesome. We talked to the owner about Italy for quite a while, and the food was superb.

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Goodbye, Paris… (or); random pictures of me petting a dog, my mom, and Napoleon… no… wait… I don’t mean I was petting my mom or Napoleon… and some other stuff that I couldn’t fit into any of my other posts about this part of our trip…

a paris 1 2Even on that last day in Paris when I was so exhausted, you know I still found the energy to pet cute dogs… because that is how I roll..

a paris 2Awwwwwwww… that is a cute picture of me and my mommy!

a paris 3Oh yeah… sitting in a café waiting for the food to arrive…

a paris 4No… she isn’t grumpy… that is her; ‘I am going to sit here and drink my fancy beverage… you all go along without me and don’t forget to pick me up on the way back’ face…

a paris 6Your generic ‘bridge over the river Seine’ photo…

a paris 7That is a happy grandma, taking her granddaughter to Paris for the first time.

a paris 9I don’t know why the picture is blurry in middle… or why peeing baby statues are a thing…

a paris 10That is one last awesome view of the ceiling in one of the rooms at Versailles… left over from my hilarious ‘Lifestyles of the rich and French’ series, where I taught you all how to live like French royalty… it is also a fantastic view of my mismatched nostrils…

a paris 11Speaking of Versailles… I think that Napoleon… who is pictured above crowning himself Emperor… and who was actually a man of the people, being in no way born to nobility but rather a poor Corsican family… decided that there was no sense wasting the palace of Versailles and decided to move in. I base this on the fact that there are a lot of paintings about him in there.

a paris 12And in one of the back sections of the palace, there are a lot of paintings of his famous battles… and I study military history… so I took some pictures…

a paris 13I don’t know if these were hung while he lived there or not.

a paris 15But I took the pictures…

a paris 16And there is no sense letting them go to waste.

a paris 17He never did manage to get rid of that itch under his coat, did he?

a paris 19I took these two pictures through the old windows in part of the palace at Versailles. Did you know that glass is actually a liquid, and slowly begins to run as it gets really old?

a paris 20See, you are learning stuff now.

a paris 21And one last picture of St. Chapelle… go there… and submerge yourself in the colors. That is it for France. Join me next time for our adventures in Germany.

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The day that Europe kicked my ass… the final chapter…

My legs felt like cooked noodles… we had been all up in that Eiffel Tower and all around it too, tramped through and around Notre Dame and St. Chapelle, and then blitzkrieged Sacre Coeur and Montmartre… but there was one more dream on Mollie’s Paris wish list…

a 1No… not the Arch de Triumph… although that is an adorable picture of me and my mom…

a 2And the arch is impressive…

a 3But she is a 16-year-old girl… so it is what the arch resides over that drew her like a moth to flame…

a 4Yes, it’s the Champs Elysees, arguably the most famous high-end shopping district on the planet.

a 5It is also really long… and really crowded… and it was still hot even as the sun began to drift towards the edge of the world… and, because it gets dark so late in Europe in the summer, it had been a really long day…

a 6But when your kid has a dream, you do what you gotta do… and besides that, our other daughter had put in a request for a certain shade of Chanel nail polish… which I am fairly certain you can get in the United States… but then you can’t tell people it was from Paris… so… yeah…

a 7…more walking…

a 8As an historical… and perhaps hysterical… note of interest…  the central boulevards of Paris are laid out wide and straight for a reason. I think it was Napoleon III who began the process, and it wasn’t just for looks. He wanted his soldiers to be able to move around quickly to quell any rebellion by the populace… you know how the French like their rebellions… and so that his cannons could line up and fire grape shot to sweep the streets quickly of those pesky, revolting commoners. Now that is some civic planning.

a 9Uh… if I had known we could rent those, I wouldn’t have done so much walking that day, dang it!

a 10I think that says; “I am your father”…

a 11My feet, by this time, felt like cooked sausages that were swelling to the point that they were about to burst out of their skin…

a 12But even my mom was getting in on the act…

a 13No, that isn’t a Parisian getting an early and overly-enthusiastic start on the wine tasting… or a lady having a seizure… that is a gypsy beggar. The funny thing… if this is indeed a thing that is at all funny… is that every single block on this long boulevard, and on many other streets in Paris as well, had a gypsy beggar woman in the exact same position on the ground… all clutching their little cups full of change. I mean, some of them were better at it than others. You could really feel the waves of  despair emanating off of some of them. Others seemed to have fallen asleep in the warm sun. I could do a whole post on the Gypsy situation in Europe… the kids that beg in the train stations… and so on… but that is what Google… and travel… is for… to learn stuff.

a 14At long last we were done with our epic adventure, and had taken a taxi back to this little neighborhood near out hotel where we ended up poking into the cheese shops, butcher shops and bakeries and getting the big boxes full of pastries, all of which I showed in an earlier post. It was a glorious day, but Europe really did kick my ass… and the next morning we were leaving for Germany… but I do have a few random pictures of Paris to share before then.

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The day that Europe kicked my ass… part 10…

So where did you go next, I hear you all clamoring inside the quietude of your own craniums, on that crazy day in Paris that wore you out so badly, Mr. Browne?

a 1Why, we went to Le Sacre Coeur, thanks so much for asking… and no, don’t bother trying to pronounce it… even the French can’t do that.

a 2Sacre Coeur is a lovely little church perched on a hill above the city of Paris. You might remember it from some of my earlier Paris posts, hovering off in the distance. I have been there once before, and I thought I might actually make it inside this time…

a 3

By now it was midafternoon, and all the walking and the heat were really starting to get to me…

a 4But the thing is… hey, we haven’t had a ‘thing’ in this series yet… that down there at the bottom of all those steps, is Montmartre…  a famous shopping district… and my wife and kid were all over that like perfume on a French hooker… I mean… uh… so to speak…

a 5On the way down all those stairs… which we would have to walk back up later… we saw this guy. You should Google him. He is all over U-tube. I have never seen anybody do the stuff he does with a soccer ball… or football, to be correct in the European sense.

a 6This is just the grand finale of his act. He didn’t do all of it hanging twenty feet in the air. Most of the time he was just balancing on a narrow balustrade. Seriously… Google him. Anyway, we left my over-ninety-year-old mom sitting on the steps watching him and off we went…

a 7Down many, many steps…

a 8I have to admit, I do like Montmartre. I was here about ten years ago with my older daughter… there are posts about that trip way down in my blog somewhere… and this is where I first learned about the chocolate and banana crepes.

a 9This is not shopping like on the Champs de Elysee… which we will get to in a little while… sigh… This is like cheap souvenir stores and cute, artsy little shops and all kinds of weird stuff. It is really a fascinating neighborhood.

a 10And if I wasn’t such a classy guy, I totally would have bought that shirt.

a 11After another hour or two of walking around, we had to trudge back up all those stairs.

a 12By this point, I don’t think I was smiling all the time anymore in between the silly selfies.

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The day that Europe kicked my ass… part 9…

a 1

Do I look happy in that picture? The simple truth is that I am an artist before and above all other things. I am all art-side-of-the-brain. And being in St. Chapelle was like being in a dream that all artists have. I am not at all religious anymore, but this was almost a religious experience… like I was in a heaven made just for artists…

a 2There is an upper and lower floor, so if you look back on all the pictures I took inside St. Chapelle, you will see that some of the windows are very tall… that is the upper room… and some aren’t as tall, and that is the lower level. The picture above is the upper floor. These windows soar into the sky.

a 3I wish I could explain the way the light and the colors dance around you. You could be inside St. Chapelle every day for the rest of your life and it would never look the same twice.

a 4The light moves across these windows… flashing through jewels and gems of vibrant color…

a 5The ceilings on both levels are done in these sweeping vaulted arches and painted a dark, royal blue. The stars are all painted by hand and might be actual gold.

a 6It really is as if the night sky is coming alive above you. I can only imagine what it must be like when there is a colorful sunrise or sunset outside those windows.

a 7The windows tell stories.

a 8The detail and craftsmanship are incredible, even way up above where you can barely see it anymore.

a 9The light and the colors surround you… you are a fish in a world full of prisms and rainbows…

a 11The colors are like looking at a really cool tie-dyed shirt through a kaleidoscope… on acid… I mean… uh… not that I have any idea what that would be like… or anything…

a 12There just really aren’t words to describe this magical place.

a 13You just need to go there.

a 14

Squint your eyes and let your mind go still…

a 15And while you are squinting, twirl around like an excited little kid…

a 16Feel the colors… get lost in the light…

a 17But keep your voice down… this is a place of worship, for cryin’ out loud…

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The day that Europe kicked my ass… part 8…

I am just going to share some photos of the inside of St. Chapelle… which seriously might be the most beautiful building I have ever been inside of… with no interruptions for funny observations or comments or stories… but I don’t want you to think my title for this series is an exaggeration because it was now just after noon on our last day in Paris, and between playing King Kong on the Eiffel Tower, and then walking all around and through Notre Dame and then walking here… all on a really hot day… I was starting to feel really old by this point…

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The day that Europe kicked my ass… part 7… (or); Man, my feet are really starting to hurt and… holy moley… this is the most beautiful church I have ever seen!!!

a 1

Just a few… long… feet-killing blocks from Notre Dame is the cathedral of St. Chapelle. It was suggested to Mollie by her AP European History teacher, but my mom had been there too. I must admit there comes a time, after travelling in Europe on a few occasions, where the idea of seeing one more church, chapel or cathedral just doesn’t seem that exciting.

a 2

I couldn’t have been more wrong this time.

a 3

Yes, my feet were starting to get a little sore… and swollen… but this was worth it.

a 4

There I am sitting with my mom, while my wife and daughter got the tickets.

a 5

This post is just going to be some pictures of the outside of this place.

a 6

I am just warming you up.

a 7

Because the inside is almost unbelievable.

a 8

They were doing some repairs… fixing up the old gargoyles and whatnot…

a 9

You don’t want gargoyles falling on anybody’s head.

a 10

Gotta love the vaulted arches.

a 11

And those Europeans do love to decorate a church door.

a 12

The carvings are often weirdly fanciful…

a 14

And you never know what you might see.

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Wake up and smell the… oh… whoops… sorry about that…

a 1 a 72

Seriously, don’t mind me… I’m just trying to draw you in…

a 1 a 76

I know… I’m a little sketchy…

a 1 a 52

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The day that Europe kicked my ass… part 6… (or); seeing Art in the world around you…

When you see the world through the eyes of an artist, you will spot art all around you…

a 1

We came around the back side of Notre Dame, and I spotted this lovely bride having some wedding photos taken by the side door of the famous cathedral. The photographer taking the pictures was smart enough to see the art inherent in that simple red door, the fixtures on it and the carvings around it…

a 2

But as the groom sat down beside her, my eyes were drawn to the three French security troopers walking by. A young couple in love, a building erected on the idea of peace, and three heavily-armed men in body armor… and… wait… I knew I smelled crepes…

a 3

Oh yeah… that’s what I’m talking about… that is an artist at work right there…

a 4Work those colors and flavors and textures…

a 5Make me a masterpiece…

a 7

Even as I ate my delicious snack, I had to pause to take a picture of three more soldiers… or maybe it was the same guys… it is weird how people in body armor carrying machineguns all sort of look the same… and how quickly, after seeing dozens of them over a few day’s time can make the sight of them seem commonplace… and yet these men were prepared to risk their lives to protect me and my family and other strangers from harm by other men who worship in another kind of church… also built on the idea of peace…

Okay, I sort of veered off my ‘seeing the art around you’ premise for a moment, but hey, life happens… and that is some pretty artistic camouflage…

a 8

I think Mollie took that picture. She also has the eyes of an artist.

a 9

Of course there are your everyday works of art all around Notre Dame.

a 10

And who doesn’t like a nice statue of guys with awesome facial hair… especially if it has a horse in it?

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But still, we can never overlook the true artistic master… mother nature… and her incredible palate of colors, her intricate shapes and delicate textures.

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But it is when nature and mankind combine their talents, and a quiet moment of real life moves harmoniously around the ambling river tossing back glimmers of sunlight that it all comes together.

a 13

There is art in and around this fabulous structure…

a 14

But I am self-absorbed… so my favorite kind of art to see is always that kind of Art… oh yeah…

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The day that Europe kicked my ass… part 5…

a 1

Well, here we are outside Notre Dame once more… away from the incense smoke… so let’s take a walk around this lovely building, shall we?

a 2

So far, I am still in pretty good shape. Yes, we climbed all over the Eiffel Tower like drunk French monkeys. Yes, we had to walk a ways to even get to the Tower, and now we have walked all around the inside of this place… but hey, it’s only a little after ten in the morning… I still have some energy left…

a 3

Oooh… gargoyles…

a 4Well, this place really is pretty big. I’m glad I have been going to the gym and am wearing comfortable shoes…

a 5

One interesting thing about Notre Dame is that it has this very mysterious air about it… When the sun shines on the white stone, it looks inviting and friendly. But when a cloud covers the sun and throws a shadow over the cathedral, it suddenly takes on a slightly more ominous feel.

a 6

The care and devotion that went into every detail is astounding. You could stand outside Notre Dame all day, watching the light and shadow dance and play over the carvings and no part would ever look exactly the same twice.

a 7Gargoyles…

a 8

Did I mention that I am a huge fan of gargoyles?

a 9Well now you know.

a 10I don’t mean to complain, but my feet are starting to throb, and I am getting a little hungry.

a 11

Mollie says there is another church nearby that her European History… (advanced placement)… teacher recommended… within walking distance… oh boy…

a 12

Well if my over-ninety-year-old mother can do it… even though she skipped the whole Eiffel Tower thing…

a 13

But seriously… this place is huge…

a 14

I bet we could find a snack around here somewhere…

a 15

Ha… flying buttresses… beautiful to look at… even more fun to say…

a 17

Yes… it is lovely…

a 19Yes, I love the look on my daughter’s face as she soaks in the beauty and history of Paris…

a 20But I think I smell crepes… with chocolate and bananas…

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