Otherwheres Collide… (A humorous science fiction thriller)… Chapter 13…

(Author’s note)… I love the Keelar… the little, football-shaped, football-sized, evil aliens that are leading the invasion of this Arthur’s universe from that other dimension. They were fun to create. A not-very-smart race that took over a whole dimension, mostly just because there were so many of them… and wait until you find out why they began their galactic conquest.

Also, I have a little sketch of a Keelar that I drew when I was writing this part of the story. It might be fun to add some color in Photoshop. What do you think. Here is the picture as I drew it…

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Chapter Thirteen

 

Well there you go, as some Arthur’s like to say. That is how the brand-new Supreme Allied Commander went from commanding a fleet of 300 ships to controlling a force of nearly 5,000 ships in a handful of hours, and all without the loss of a single life. I know it is hard to believe, but as they say, truth is stranger than fiction. And we all know it really did happen, (or really will happen, depending on where and when you are reading this). Of course, Arthur did still have a few obstacles to overcome. Like the 28,300 ships of the second wave, now stuck beyond the gate. Not to mention the 300,000 or more Keelar ships that were there somewhere too.

But he had promised the humans of the first wave that he would protect their Earth from reprisals, and that meant going through the gate. So, he had to figure out how to do that, and hopefully not get his forces slaughtered when they started going through. He decided to start by securing the newly captured ships.

First, he sent word for all ships to cease their sham battle and rendezvous at the gate at all possible speed. While he waited, he ordered the surrendered alien squadrons to form a tight cluster and shut down their main engines. As his other ships arrived he put one thousand of the human first wave ships to guarding the mass of new prisoners, forming them into an inward-pointed globe around the shut-down vessels.

Then, Arthur took the Qualm and transported to the other spy ship. While Arthur and the Qualm questioned the two still-conscious Keelar, Gup rummaged through the spy ship’s memory banks and systems. It didn’t take very long for Arthur to get the Keelar to talk, between the Qualm’s unerring ability to sense a lie and the fact that they were positively terrified of Number Two and his electro-nets. They were more than happy to spill their guts. The main problem turned out to be the fact that common soldiers of the Black Empire didn’t speak English. Arthur overcame this obstacle by beaming over to the Obama and borrowing a universal translator.

Then he had a very enlightening conversation with Frak and Lim, as it turned out the two Keelar were named.

“Oh yes, we tell you about the hole in the sky,” squealed Frak, glancing nervously at Number Two. “You just keep metal man away from us.”

“We not know much,” proclaimed Lim. “We not science brain people.” Evidently the translator was having a little difficulty cobbling together the Keelar way of speaking.

“You mean you are not scientists?” asked Arthur.

“Of course no,” answered Frak. “No Keelar have science brains. We build things, make things. But the Doraimee, he have science brain slaves.”

Arthur found this fascinating. The Keelar were a little like the ancient Romans. They invented things now and again, but what they did really well was improving on ideas created by earlier peoples. That and engineering. “So,” Arthur continued thoughtfully, “Fahh captured a race of scientists?”

“Yes, yes,” Lim chortled. “They make smart stuff. Lots of smart stuff. They make those,” he said, pointing at the transport machine where it crouched in the rear of the cabin. “They also make these little ships screenless.”

“Screenless?” Arthur asked, stumped at last.

“Not being on screens of other ships,” clarified Lim. “They make those,” he continued, pointing at a large box mounted on a bulkhead nearby.

Gup glanced around from the pilot’s seat where he sat studying the ship’s systems. “I think that is the source of the spy ship’s stealth cloaking. I have been meaning to study it when I have any free time.”

“Tell me about the science brain people,” Arthur demanded of his two little hostages.

“Oh yes, we fight hard to beat them, not too many long ago. Good for us there were not many of them. They smart, smart peoples. Bad weapons. We lose many ships. It was bad to fight the Proteks.”

“The Proteks, that is the name of the race of scientists?” Arthur wanted to know.

“Yes, Proteks very smart,” Lim told Arthur. “They make many things for us now. But not many of them left now. They figure out how to use hole in the sky.”

The hole in the sky was obviously the gate, Arthur had already deduced. Now he was getting somewhere.

Gup interrupted the conversation at that point. “Admiral, we are getting a communication from the other side of the gate, I believe. What should I do?”

Arthur told him just to ignore the incoming messages for now. “We will just let them stew in their own juices for a while,” was the way he worded it. He turned back to his prisoners. “You have been relaying all the communications back through the, uh, hole in the sky, right?”

“Yes, is only way to talk through hole,” said Frak. “You have to have the go away machine to make screen-talk through hole.”

The ‘go away machine’ must be the transporter, Arthur decided. “Gup, are you getting all this?”

“Yes indeed, Sir,” said the tech guru. “I have already figured that out from going through the ship’s memory. I know you need two spy ships to use the gate for anything. I just haven’t figured out how they sent the first ship into our dimension yet.”

Lim had an answer to this question, more or less. “It was all not on purpose. The Doraimee order the Proteks to study the dead big sky hole thing. They fly around and inside in these little ships. Some science brain notice that equipment on ships at either end not able to talk to each other. They try to beam-send something and it not come back. They not know where thing go. It is big mystery.”

Arthur quickly filled Gup in on the story of the gate being the body of a giant Flying Pickle.

Gup pondered this and added his own thoughts. “It is said the Shann, the Giant Flying Pickles as you call them, can travel through the dimensions at will. I had always heard that they never die, but if one did, I assume that the shell may still be, in some way, attached to other realities. Somehow the transport machines interact with this matrix. But there is nothing in this ship’s memory to let me know how all this works, or how to make it work.”

“Oh, I show you how it work,” bleated Frak proudly. “I am control panel operator.”

Arthur felt both stunned and hopeful in equal measure. “And what is your job?” he casually asked Lim.

“Communication operator,” said the Keelar loftily. “I have many buttons to push, and a screen to look at.”

Arthur noticed that the two Keelar had small triangles of red paint scattered on their chests. He asked about these.

“Yes, triangles for specialists, dots for troop leaders, sideways stripes for captain, up and down stripes for fleet commander,” explained Frak.

Arthur examined the prisoners critically. “You two were hiding when the robots came, weren’t you?” It was much more of a statement than it was a question.

“We not fighters. We operators,” said Lim reasonably.

Gup broke in again. “They are becoming quite agitated on the other side of the gate, Admiral. They want to know what is going on right now.”

“Put it on the screen, but don’t let them see us,” requested Arthur.

A very angry Keelar operator was staring reproachfully out of the screen. “Answer me, Lim, you lazy booble beast,” hissed the frantic operator. “We are both going to be boiled in brac oil.” The translator on Arthur’s wrist was doing its job.

“So, they know all about your fleets being beaten, right? And that I am still alive?” Arthur pressed Lim.

“Everything come to me. I push button. Thing is recorded and sent through hole. I am good operator,” Lim boasted.

“Tell him you want to start sending damaged ships back through the hole,” Arthur said to Lim while indicating the Keelar on the screen.

Lim looked horrified. “No ways I can do this thing. Only captain could even suggest to do such a things. Hole only work one way at a time. No other ships come through. They get very angry.” When he mentioned his captain, he gestured to a sleeping Keelar laying like a jelly-filled balloon nearby. Arthur noticed the horizontal stripes of red on the football-sized, shaped, and colored being.

“Guess what, you just got promoted,” Arthur told his prisoner. “Tell them your ship was hit and the captain is dead.”

“You got to keep us forever, I do that,” said Lim firmly. “I never go back to the Doraimee.”

So much for loyalty to the Emperor, thought Arthur snidely.

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Detours: A California adventure… part 17; Now that’s a bathroom!!!

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Uh, no, that isn’t a photo of the actual bathroom… you are getting ahead of yourself…

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Then what, I hear you asking yourself, is this charming little building we are looking at?

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It is this place… the Madonna Inn, on California’s Highway 101, in San Luis Obispo. I was, finally, after all my detours, back on a direct route home to San Diego… for a while…

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This hotel is weird, and sort of fun.

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Wait… is that the dining room in the Trump brothel in Las Vegas?

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Don’t be silly. Trump doesn’t own a brothel in Las Vegas… you can’t build places of prostitution inside the city limits… they have to be out of town, in the desert.

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To be honest, I could have cut further inland and taken a shorter, more direct route home, when I at last managed to get back to civilization after my last crazy detour… but I really had to pee when I hit the 101, and I knew this place was here, and they have this amazing restroom for men to use. Look at those giant clam shell sinks!

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No, that isn’t a fireplace. It is a motion-activated waterfall urinal, big enough for three people. I was once photographed here by a busload of Japanese tourists, male and female… no… not on purpose… but I might still be famous in Japan. In fact, I travel so much in California, that I was once planning on doing a travel book with all the best restroom stops.

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The Christmas decorations were still up, which explains this mother Puma and her two cubs over the main fireplace near the lobby.

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It also explains this… uh… Santa Monk?

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And Mother Claus.

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Okay, nothing actually explains this place.

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It is both adorable and tacky.

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It does have a claim to fame… the theme hotel rooms. There is a caveman room, where you can pretend to be Fred Flinstone, having a romantic Bedrock getaway… supposedly with Wilma. I think there is a jungle room, where you can play Tarzan and Jane. Maybe there is a spacey future room for you sci-fi fans.

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My wife and I, along with our first daughter who was very young, stayed there once. It wasn’t planned. We had some sort of travel mishap. All the fun rooms were booked. We got the: Sir Walter Raleigh room… about as exciting as it sounds. Like an Old English set from a low-budget British TV show.

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But it did have some nice, framed prints of drawings of Sir Walter Raleigh. Didn’t he introduce tobacco to Europe? The room was in that building, set back behind the main building. Just so you know.

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Otherwheres Collide… (A humorous science fiction thriller)… Chapter 12…

(Author’s Note)… No, sorry, I haven’t forgotten that I am still posting chapters of book four of my action/humor science fiction series: The Otherwhere Chronicles… the first three books of which are available over there—> in my sidebar—>

The action… as in the huge space battle between the woefully-disadvantaged allied fleet and the monstrously-large Black Fleet from another dimension… is heating up.

Don’t worry, Arthur… uh, not me, the other me, from that other dimension being invaded by yet another dimension… will fix things as he always does… with pure luck.


Chapter Twelve

 

From the pilot’s seat the Warlord told Arthur, “The fleet should reach the gate in about an hour, minus those that are playing dead. By that time there will still be less than 4,000 ships of the second wave through the gate. That should make our forces just about even.” Arthur could tell by the Xxo’s voice that he was enjoying himself immensely.

Arthur’s cell phone rang. It was Mr. Toad. “I thought you should know that Reporters are covering the battle. You seem to be doing quite well,” said the Brain-Friend happily.

Arthur quickly explained that it was not quite so much a battle as a stage show, and then he had another idea, as he so often does. “The universe has mourned me long enough,” he said into the phone. “Go get the Reporter out of the maintenance closet near the lounge and bring him to the comm room any way you can. Put him where he can see the screen. I have a little announcement to make.” In two minutes this had been accomplished. Mr. Toad had simply told the Reporter that he was going to give it exclusive coverage of the biggest breaking news in the universe, and it followed him like a happy puppy.

“Okay, Gup, put me on the screen, no scrambler, open channel,” Arthur requested. Then he turned to the camera and began to speak.

“Hello, universe. This is your old buddy, Arthur Blacke. I apologize profusely for having to fake my death. The bomb was real, and the enemy was trying to kill me and my friends. We had to pretend it went off to fool them, and it worked. Please support our allied troops any way you can. Now, if you will excuse me, I have an enemy invasion to crush so we can all get back to our peaceful lives. Thank you, and I’ll see you soon.”

And all over the universe, every being with access to any kind of news outlet went absolutely crazy with joy and relief.

Arthur realized that the enemy was undoubtedly seeing this newscast as well. As long as the cat was out of the bag, he decided to rub it in. Yes, I know that was a horrible mismatching of clichés, but you know what I mean.

He stepped closer to the camera and glared directly into the lens. “You hear that, Fahh? I’m still alive. You have tried to have me killed so many times I can’t remember them all, and I’m still here. Now it’s your turn. I am coming for you.” Arthur paused, smiled and waved. “Hi, Mom, sorry about the whole being dead thing. Love you.” And with that Gup cleared the channel.

“We are approaching the second wave units now, Admiral,” said the Warlord calmly. “There is no indication that we have been spotted.”

“Gup, can you find me that other spy ship?” Arthur asked.

“I can track the transport machine to within a few yards,” Gup replied.

They prepared more of the surveillance bugs and their control panel. They sent six bugs into space before they hit the cabin of the other spy ship with the seventh. Then Arthur gave the robot called Number One his orders and beamed it over. On two separate monitors Arthur watched the scene unfold through the bug’s eyes and the robot’s. The ten or so Keelar responded to Number One before he had finished materializing. They tried to blast their unwanted metallic visitor while he was still transporting and learned the lesson of the ricochets the hard way. Arthur didn’t worry about the two Keelar who were hit by the diminished, bouncing power beams, but he did hope they didn’t damage their ship. He wanted it for himself.

As Number One became able to move and function, he began to command the Keelar to surrender in that cute little girl’s voice. They responded by blasting him with more energy beams. Chunks and bits blew off the robot, but it managed to return fire with the electro-net bundles, and as quickly as that there were Keelar rocketing about inside the cabin. Unfortunately, the Keelar were more spread out and the effect was not as devastating as it might have been. Arthur was already sending Number Two as backup, but he felt horrible about the damage Number One was taking. Fortunately, the transport bubble around Number Two protected his mechanical brother from most of the energy beams.

Number One used this cover well, but he was either out of electro-net ammo or the launchers were damaged. Through the robot’s eyes Arthur watched as brave Number One returned fire with the rubber bullets. To get a better view Arthur switched his eyes to the other monitor showing the bug’s view. The rubber bullets impacted the Keelar’s rounded little bodies with loud thuds. Arthur could see their thick skin ripple and wobble around where the bullets hit. The Keelar were knocked over but scrambled rapidly back onto their four sack-like feet seemingly unhurt. Despite their inability to tolerate electrical shocks, the Keelar were some tough little guys.

Now two robots were yelling in their strangely adorable voices. Arthur was prepared to send Number Three if he had to, but Number Two’s electro-nets turned the tide of battle. The last two Keelar surrendered, and threw down their weapons.

“Rubar, go over there with Gup and keep him safe. Secure the prisoners,” Arthur said rapidly. “Gup, shut down that beam machine. And take a good look at it. See if it’s the same as ours. And try to figure out how the beam is used to get ships through the gate. Oh, and send Number One back.” Rubar and Gup touched shoulders and Gup activated the remote he held. In moments they were gone.

Number One soon appeared. Arthur saw that it was chewed up rather badly, and he apologized and promised that he would send him back to Tarlek Da for repairs as soon as possible.

Thirty seconds later Gup had the transport machine on the other craft shut down and the ships of the second wave ceased popping out into space. They had begun arriving twenty-eight minutes before, and now there were slightly less than 1,700 of them milling about. That meant the good guys outnumbered them for now. It also meant there were still 28,300 or so of the second wave stuck on the far side of the gate, at least for the moment. Now was the time to cut off the snake’s head.

And it turned out to be remarkably easy to do. Alone, and with no reinforcements arriving, unable even to contact their ships on the other side of the gate, they were already panicked by the ease with which the defenders were seemingly crushing the first wave. They were ready to break, they just needed one last little shove.

So they were completely unprepared to deal with Arthur’s next deception. He told the Warlord to take them close to the front of the enemy commander’s ship. Maybe not the command ship of the entire second wave, but the one that Gup, by monitoring their communications, and the General, by examining their formation, had agreed was the ship that was the highest ranked to come through the gate so far. They came to a halt just a few thousand yards in front of the stationary vessel.

Arthur activated Tarlek Da’s big holo-projector to the image he had chosen. Then he told the Warlord to put him on the screen with the enemy ship. When he got a nod from the Xxo, he addressed the alien captain. “Ahoy, invading war vessel, this is Arthur Blacke. Can you hear me?”

An ugly face with blotchy pink and gray skin, rolls of fat, and a huge, dangling nose appeared on the screen. Arthur thought for a moment that it was the leader of the alien supremacists from the Hub, but then he noticed that this one appeared older and there was a scar that ran through the blubber on one cheek from ear-hole to chin.

“I hear you, human,” replied the repulsive face. His beady black eyes seemed wary.

“Do you have view ports on you ship?” asked Arthur in conversational tones.

“Yes,” replied the elephant seal-faced captain in some confusion.

“You might want to take a peak out your front window,” suggested Arthur.

Through the screen of the spy ship, which by the way didn’t actually have windows, Arthur watched a heavily armored section of the nose of the enemy ship slide down. They were so close he could see the tiny head of the captain as he came to the armor-glass and pressed his face up against it. “It’s dark out there,” complained the captain.

“Turn on you running lights,” said Arthur, as if speaking to a not-overly-bright child.

The captain did so, and Arthur heard him gasp. Because what he saw, or what he thought he saw, thanks to the magic of Tarlek Da’s projector, parked nose to nose with his ship, was the most monstrous, huge and awesome Heavy Battle Ship the captain could ever imagine.

“You didn’t know we have hundreds of stealth-cloaked battle ships, did you?” asked Arthur malevolently.

The tip of the second wave surrendered without firing a single shot.

 

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Detours: A California adventure… part 16; High plains drifter…

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Yes, the title is a nod to Clint Eastwood… but I think high plains are what I would have to call this broad valley running high among the tops of mountains, through which I was making my way.

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It was stunning… in a ‘wow, this stuff is so dry because of our years-long drought, and could burn like a match head’ kind of a way.

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I was on the third… and last… day of my detour-laden, epic road trip adventure from Northern to Southern California… but you know all that… you read the other posts, right?

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There was almost no one around.

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I do like the Spanish moss growing on the oak trees.

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I don’t know if oak trees lose their leaves in winter. I hope so. If not, a lot of these were dead.

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I was still on that crazy detour on that crazy steep and twisty road that led me up from the coast into these mountain ranges. I had no idea where I was. I didn’t see any military personnel, but I did see rifle ranges that still had the rubber target dummies set up. Ha… I used the word ‘ranges’ twice in one paragraph, in different contexts. Bonus word score!

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And there were a few other indications as well.

Do you still want to hear that poem?

Do you even know what poem I am talking about?

No?

You mean you don’t want to read a poem, or you don’t know what I’m… oh, forget it.

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The final sequel…

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The followup to the sequel…

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The sequel…

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Detours: A California adventure… part 15; The big detour, and where it gets crazy… and yes, that is a whale!!!

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So yes, there I was, in the early morning, heading South of California’s Highway One, knowing full well that it was blocked ahead by a massive mud slide that wiped part of the road off the map for more than a year.

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Google maps, when I checked it at my mom’s house in the Bay Area, said there was no way around the blockage anywhere near where the road was closed. All the locals I asked said there was no way around… except for that one park ranger, who told me there was a way, but that he could under no circumstances recommend that I go that way. And I didn’t write down the name of the road, so by the time I was 60 miles past where I talked to him, and running out of road till the mud slide, and with the mountains blocking my cell phone reception, getting really close to where I would have to turn around and drive back 80 miles to detour around… I forgot the name of the road, I didn’t know where I was going.

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But I was so excited.

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I was on an adventure! I stopped again, and asked a local shop owner about this sneaky way over the mountains. She was very reluctant to tell me about it. She wouldn’t even tell me the name of the road. But she did say it was about 4 miles further on… just a handful of miles from the mud slide.

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I drove six miles. I passed one road, winding up a steep wall of mountains, but I thought to myself that couldn’t be it. I saw a car parked on a lonely bluff. I asked the nice lady if she was a local. She smiled in a way that said only locals would be there, with the road closed. She told me that the little road I saw heading for the sky was indeed the one I was looking for. And yes, that is a whale’s tail in the center of that photo I took from that spot. Then, I turned around and went to meet my fate.

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That is the first photo I took from that road… at the first place I pulled over to get my heart to stop beating so fast. I grew up in the Bay Area. We eat steep, twisty roads for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But this was insane. Two narrow lanes of wild, twisty craziness. I was gaining altitude like a freekin’ airplane taking off. The sea was now far below me. And there was that sign at the bottom of the road saying it led to a military base, and to be prepared to stop for military convoys…

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Oh yeah… still going up.

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The road is called Nacimiento Road. I think that is the correct spelling. I remember it because in my head, it sounded like ‘Nazi memento’. You should Google map that road. The huge swells of the Pacific Ocean now looked like ripples in a pond.

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And then I was in these crazy valleys, fed by little streams, as I began to make my way into, over, and through the mountain tops.

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I found roads that ran generally East. I passed broad flatlands covered with majestic oak trees, still high up in the mountains.

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It was awesome! I wrote a poem in my head as I drove. Remind me to see if I can remember how it goes later, and post it.

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Yes, that last bit was a test to see if you are really reading the words… and I know you love poetry…

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Detours: A California adventure… part 14; Driving South on California’s Highway One…

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We have reached the last day of my epic, three-day, detour-filled driving adventure, coming home from Christmas in the Bay Area. I had that delightful day-long stopover to visit my little cousins in Santa Cruz. I left them early in the morning, and continued my drive, stopping at every view spot I could find.

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I know, I do this whenever I drive on the coast… but the views look different every time.

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And I never get tired of the drive.

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But there is a reason why I keep using the word detour… and the word adventure…

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And that reason is this…

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California’s Highway One is closed.

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I don’t mean all of it… but it doesn’t go all the way through anymore… at least, not for now.

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You see, there was a huge rock slide months ago… I mean, like, part of a mountain came down and washed out the twisty, two lane road.

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You should Google that. The highway is going to be closed for another year. Or more.

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Mmmmm… the redwoods near Big Sur. Okay, so, I hear you wondering to yourself, why, if I knew that the road was closed, was I still going that way… despite signs saying there was no way around the roadblock? Why didn’t I just cut inland from Santa Cruz? And why, after asking a few locals, who all said there was no way to keep going… did I keep going?

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And, to be honest, when I stopped getting a cell phone signal because of the mountains, and therefore had no way of updating my Google maps, even I began to wonder why I kept going.  But this is what an adventure is. If you knew how it was going to turn out, it wouldn’t be an adventure… it would just be a drive.

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And I almost did give up… but then, a park ranger told me that there just might be a way… although, under no circumstance could hen recommend that I take that way.

Oh yeah! That had adventure written all over it.

Join me soon for the next installment.

 

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Digital fun with one of the illustrations I did for my children’s book; The Lonely Little Wizard… part 3…

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Okay, just a few more versions of this illustration…

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From one of my children’s books…

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Oh, look, a Van Gogh version… ha!

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I love these digital filters.

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