Pouring My Art Out

1. Saloon At The Edge Of Everywhere… book one of The Otherwhere Chronicles… It is about me, sort of. But not this me, a me that lives in another dimension. Oh, don’t worry, the other me is still lazy, irreverent, sarcastic and full of himself. But he works in a Texas-style saloon on an alien space station as the janitor, and somehow gets caught up in the action when alien space pirates hijack a space cruise ship. Against all his instincts, he and his crazy band of human and alien poker buddies end up saving the day, and the whole thing is broadcast live all over the entire universe, so now he is the most reluctant hero in the history of that or any other dimension. ($7.95- in Earth money- in this dimension)
2. Down To Earth… book two of The Otherwhere Chronicles… So naturally, being a reluctant hero, our hero decides to evade his newfound fame by returning to the Bay Area back on Earth to visit his… my… mom. And that is when I… he… finds out that the whole alien space pirate thing was set up by this huge, nefarious,  intergalactic corporation, and then he has to fight a hand-to-hand combat duel against an alien mercenary that looks like a two-legged hippopotamus… but see, this whole time I… he… has one advantage because he found ‘the memory stone’, which is this ancient alien artifact used by The Giant Flying Pickles… (not the real name of the alien race that has been around forever and reseeds life into the universe after every new Big Bang)… and it helps him learn stuff because it is a repository of all the knowledge of the GFP’s… but it isn’t supposed to work on anybody but them, except it turns out that Humans are the first species ever to evolve naturally on their own with no help, but it sort of has a crush on me… the other me… and teaches me how to fly alien ships and fight duels and lots of other stuff… and, see this is why it is easier for you to buy the dang books than for me to explain them to you… but, long story short, I… he… ends up saving San Francisco from being vaporized and then me… or he… and all of his alien and human friends end up being put in charge of the corporation by the President of the United States, whom we… they… saved. Got it? ($7.95 in human money)
3. Walking Around… book three of The Otherwhere Chronicles… And this is where it starts to get crazy, but once again, I… he… isn’t happy about being the hero to billions of life forms all over the place, because, once again, the whole adventure in San Francisco was broadcast live by these floating white balls called ‘The Reporters’… that might be a living species or might be an advanced technology of some sort, nobody really knows, but they like to broadcast interesting things, and interesting things seem to happen to Arthur Blacke… (that’s pronounced ‘Black’, just so you know)… so of course our hero leaves the corporation in the hands… and tentacles and whatnot… of his friends, and goes back to the alien space station and decides to take a holiday. He wants to do a walkabout around the entire Hub, which is the name of the space station. And that is where he learns that things are going to get more interesting because the giant corporation… that he is now CEO of… was a front being used to prepare his  dimension for an invasion from another dimension, and so I… he… ends up being hunted by a vat-bred alien killer with poisonous fangs in the palms of his hands, and then is chased for a few days by two relentless alien lizard warriors, and almost gets chopped into bits by two sword-wielding humans wearing tie dye. And all this happens between a lot of funny adventures and meeting lots of crazy aliens… and at the end I… he… gets coerced into being the Supreme Commander of the combined… but very unimpressive…  allied fleet that is supposed to stop the huge and very intimidating Black Fleet that will be showing up soon… (in book four, which is already written but not yet edited and in print)… not bad for a guy who started off as a janitor at the beginning of the story. You can think of this series as Doctor Who meets Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, if you want to. ($7.95 of your… our… dollars… and printed on real dead Earth trees).
4. I Like Monkeys… An adorable book for young children that I wrote and illustrated myself. It came about because when I meet little kids… and I love little kids… I always end up saying: “I like monkeys.”… because I do, but also because I love the responses I get from the kids, and I have been remembering them, and used them as the basis for this book. ($12.00… or 5,000 fresh bananas).
5. The Lonely Little Wizard… Another book that I wrote and illustrated for young kids. It is just a cute story about a little wizard looking for a friend. ( $15.00… but it has to be real money, not magic money… sorry).
6. Double Service… My most recent novel, this is a murder mystery set in World War Two London. It is really just your basic murder mystery, but I think you might like it. ($9.95… or whatever the equivalent is in English pounds).

All these books are available by clicking the pictures of the books right over there in the sidebar. Think of it as supporting a starving artist or just the arts in general. Or knock a few people off your Christmas shopping list. I might even write some of you who buy it into my next novel or the one after that. I wrote some of my blog friends into the murder mystery. I am just funny that way.