Pouring My Art Out

So, what is the lesson here, exactly? I mean, I know I like to randomly tag a few posts with ‘free porn’ and ‘big boobs’ tags… (I explained this all in a post a long time ago; My theory is that if I can lure a few pornography junkies in here and keep them busy for a while, I am serving the greater good)…

But now I am wondering if keeping this blog more or less family-friendly is not like shooting myself in the… foot. Maybe I should be doing more pictures of  naughty bits. I mean, if I can boost my stats with a few silly penis pictures, I can only imagine what would happen if I just focused on naked people. Hell, I might actually be able to take over the world.

Just so you know, world, the vast majority of my views today come from America, land of the free… (porn sites)… and home of the conflicted and convoluted views of sex and nudity. Yes, America, where we have a major portion of our citizens who claim to be wholesomely religious, yet we contribute more than our share to the world’s pornography market, and we seem to like shopping at that market too. Yes, a land so prudish that people take a stand against women breast feeding infants in public… usually on their way to have a few drinks at a topless bar. Canada, you are in second place, so don’t get cocky… ummm… so to speak.

(You know, this is exactly why I created the alien character named VarnTa… [for my action/humor science fiction series of novels called: The Otherwhere Chronicles, available right over there in my sidebar, if you click the pictures of my books and activate the links under them]… who has his rather large penis growing out of the top of his head. He was created solely for the purpose of making people think about our confused views on sex and nudity. Can an alien from another planet be held to our weirdly inconsistent rules on morality? As VarnTa points out, nobody gets worked up about the fact that cats and dogs run around naked. And in his defense, he can’t wear a hat. It makes his… uh… junk… warm up, which causes an unfortunate increase in blood flow, which just makes matters worse. VarnTa is not just me acting like a thirteen-year-old boy giggling at penis jokes, despite what my wife says. He is a carefully crafted character, a lens for us all to use to examine sexuality, a chance to look at old issues through an outsider’s eyes… Okay, yes, I admit that I do make some pretty awesome dick jokes in the books. My two favorites are when Arthur Blacke… [pronounced ‘black’] is playing poker with his alien and human buddies, and he keeps an eye on VarnTa’s penis, because when VarnTa has a good poker hand, his heart beats faster, and this cause his penis to pulse and sway a bit, like a big, fat hair in the wind. Or, as Arthur… [yes, my main character, who saves the whole universe is really me from another dimension, can we not get into that here?]… puts it: VarnTa has a great poker face, but he has a really bad poker penis. And then there is the one scene where VarnTa get stuck to the giant sticky tongue of a Whalepede, while they are battling space pirates on an alien space station, and someone… I forget who… grabs him by his penis to try to pull him off the tongue… but anyway… enough about all that)…