This is going to be the scariest Halloween ever…

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Baby thigh butts…

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No… that isn’t a baby butt. I wouldn’t show a baby butt on my family-friendly blog. But I might, if I was babysitting my friend’s little twin boys, not be able to resist taking a picture or two of their thigh butts.

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I told them not to worry about it, not to get too caught up in body image… and that they would probably grow out of them.

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But if not, well, that is why shorts come in different lengths.

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Babysitting… now with even more baby…

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Yes, I am back at my underpaid but very rewarding babysitting gig, taking care of some friend’s little ones. I have to be underpaid to compete with those annoying teenage girls who think they are babysitters. Between my awesomely low rates… and the fact that teenage girls have to go to school… my position is fairly secure.

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Speaking of school, my little buddy, Olivia, who happens to be the sister of these twin boys, has started preschool part time. Her mom had some errands to run, so I was put in charge this morning… all morning.

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Now we all know that I was a stay-at-home dad before it was even a thing. The other dads made fun of me. But I got to spend all day with my daughters, so I didn’t care.

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But my daughters were born 9 years apart. We didn’t have them at the same time. That is just crazy. Especially when there is a two-year-old running around.

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But I am not here to offer family planning advice… although if you want any advice on how to take care of babies, I am your guy.

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Because I am the baby whisperer.

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Have I mentioned that babies, dogs and horses love me… and that you shouldn’t trust anyone of whom that cannot be said?

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Also… awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…

 

 

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More fun with the artwork from my children’s books… part 1…

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I got that from this…

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It was already a nice work of art. It is the back cover of my book for kids called: The Lonely Little Wizard… available over there—> in the sidebar… in the link…

If you are interested in how I did the original, it is simple. I scanned a work of art I did that was a picture of jungle foliage that I burned into a piece of plywood and then painted with thick T-shirt paint, oil paints, and watercolor paints. In Photoshop I added the little characters who show up in the book. I may have done posts about all this back when I was preparing the book for self-publication.

If you want to know how I changed that image into the one up at the top, it was even easier. In fact, it took a few simple clicks in a free program available to all of you. You can ask me where to find it if you care to. You can do this kind of stuff to any of your photos or images.

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Hope and Change; “I Hope you are going to Change my diaper…

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Stolen moments…

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The attractive young lady in the foreground is Lucy. She is the step-daughter of one of my oldest friends. I love her like a daughter… but I still stole these pictures off her Facebook feed. They were taken at my oldest daughter’s wedding. In fact, behind Lucy and the funny-looking, extremely-drunk old dude, you can see Jessica and Jason admiring Jessica’s choice of place settings.

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Also, there is a downside to being treated like one of my own kids. It means I will mess with you. On the right is my buddy Chris, Lucy’s step-father. I have known him since we were like 7-years-old. The house he moved into is the one you see looming above the backyard of the house I grew up in. You have seen him before. In fact, you saw him and his new puppy when I went to the Bay Area to visit my mom recently.

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Reflecting upon mortality… the final chapter… no… seriously… this is the very last post I am going to do with the reflecting water thing for a long, long time…

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Even the crack squirrels that live in my head are getting a little sick of these. So I am finishing up not with more deep thoughts on mortality, but rather with another silly Dia De Los Muertos skull, turned on its side. Because I like the colors.

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Maybe Harvey Weinstein can produce a film about this…

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When will it end?

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Reflecting upon mortality… part 9…

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There is a reason that I used the same artwork from the last post… except turned on it’s side… for this post. And the reason is this:

Death is a matter of perspective. I don’t mean death itself. That seems fairly straightforward. I mean what happens to us after we die. It is the great unknown. And humans hate not knowing stuff. So we get really good at two things. Looking for answers to the questions we don’t know the answers for… (that is called ‘science’, and whatever else you believe in, you should believe in science)… and, when we can’t find the answers, we make up our own answers.

There are only two real possibilities; either we die and go nowhere, or we die and go… somewhere. Religions claim to know the answer to the unanswerable, the unknowable. They all say that, if you follow their guidelines, their rules, you go somewhere great. Or you come back again. I have studied all the great religions, and I just can’t bring myself to accept that it all comes down to which of us chose the correct religion, and then followed its rules correctly. And everybody else is going somewhere bad. Because they chose wrong.

The other alternative is that all the gods exist, and are sitting around a huge table somewhere, arguing over a few thousand souls here, a few hundred souls there. But what I find most annoying are the people who are so sure that they are part of the only real religion, and everybody else is just an idiot who is going to get a horrible surprise handed to them on the day of their death. Most of the time, the people who are most sure that theirs is the right religion are the worst at following the rules suggested by that very religion they hold so sacred that deal with how to treat their fellow human beings.

I am not judging anyone who believes in any religion… although I allow myself to judge their actions. I think that people have ingrained, deep within their DNA, a need to believe that things are being watched over by a higher power. That it can’t all be just random. That is too scary. I also think that people are hardwired to fear the unknown, and, as I said, death is the greatest unknown of all. We concocted stories of better places that we can earn our way into when we shuffle off the mortal coil. And priest classes arose, setting themselves up as the keepers of the keys to these kingdoms.

Most people don’t choose their religion. They have it handed down to them. If your parents tell you stories from the time you are very young, you tend to believe the stories. That is just the way humans are. If you tell your children to be good, and pray before bed time,and that then they will go to a land of milk and honey, that is harmless enough… even if they soon forget the being good and praying part as they grow up. But the sad thing is all the people who have been sent off to their own deaths, or to kill, in the name of those religions. Now, if you are reading this as a White Christian, you probably immediately assumed that I was talking about suicide bombers or Kamikaze pilots. And I am. But we send our kids off to war telling them that our gods are on their side too. And we used it to justify some pretty horrible things in the past.

I know I have said this before, but I think it bears repeating.

If your god says it is okay… or even good… to kill other human beings, maybe you should try to find another god.

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Reflecting upon mortality… part 8…

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Uh… I don’t have any clever new thoughts on death… but I did just notice that this one sort of ended up making it look like the skeleton is washing his… uh… I want to say ‘boner’, because that would be exceptionally funny in this particular instance… but I am going with ‘junk’… because this is supposed to be a more or less family-friendly blog… and because I am classy that way.

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