
If you are unhappy with the way the ship is being run… you don’t set it on fire…

If you are unhappy with the way the ship is being run… you don’t set it on fire…

What? No… I don’t know exactly how it could save your life… I just do what the crack squirrels in my head tell me to do… but if the crack squirrels say it could save your life, I think we should take their word for it… I mean, why would the crack squirrels that live in my head lie???

I tried reverse psychology in the last couple of posts… didn’t see a rise in my stats… so now I am going to use my brain… for a change…
But I will not resort to using the force… or even just plain force… because that would be wrong.

This blog is not for everybody! It contains thoughtful material, and requires you to use your mind. It contains humor, and requires you to laugh at things you never thought of laughing at. It contains satire and parody and sarcasm, which may not sound that bad… unless it happens to be aimed at something you hold dear.
This blog insults stupid people, racists, politicians, extremists, terrorists and other groups that I find annoying… if you are a stupid racist extremist terrorist politician, you probably shouldn’t poke around in here!
This blog takes normal, everyday things, and examines them from angles and in ways that you might not be used to… so if you get dizzy or suffer from motion sickness, stay out!
But the most insidious thing this blog contains is me… and my head full of crack squirrels and loads of free time and a penchant for making funny pictures in Photoshop…
If you ignore my warnings and do decide to explore the swamp that is my imagination… and you feel the urge to begin scrolling down into the depths of my soul… because this is my whole life here… please… wear sensible shoes… and bring some rope… and a flashlight… and a first aid kit… and some snacks and water bottles…
But please, feel free to talk to strangers… my followers are awesome, and are probably the least objectionable part of this blog… sigh…

No way! You have to pass background checks, and intelligence tests… you need clearance, and 47 forms of ID… you need people to vouch for your character… investigators will visit your blog, and the blogs you follow, and delve into your life… my minions will talk to your friends and your 4th grade teacher, asking probing questions… microbots will scurry down the power lines and find your computer and set up cameras in your home… we will hack your phone, and examine your bank accounts…
The very idea that just any random person could stroll in here and have access to the outpourings of my mind is just preposterous!


HA! See what I did there?
