I don’t mean individually, but in general, which warrior culture in history strikes you as the most awesome? There is no wrong answer. I just want to see what people think. I have given a few suggestions for the top ten list:
The Spartans- greased-up abs, cool helmets, and long, pointy spears…
The samurai- armed with the best swords ever made, superb training and a fatalistic outlook…
The vikings- like Hells Angels… but with armor, shields, swords and axes…
The ninjas- years of training, sweet gear, and stealth capabilities…
The Apaches- these guys could outrun a horse over desert terrain in an all-day footrace, and when they had a horse they didn’t like, they rode it until it died, and used it’s intestines as a water bottle… hardcore…
The Zulus- young warriors were forced to live a segregated life… away from women… until they earned the right to marry by prowess on the battlefield… sexual repression = overt aggression…
If you have any other suggestions, I would love to hear them.
I, myself, whilst being a particularly nice and funny guy, do have the capacity for being something of a bad-ass. Hey, I spent a lot of time on the wrong side of the tracks, have a big mouth, don’t know when to shut up, and have a penchant for sticking up for people who are being bullied. You may recall that I once told you the story about a time when I was in Amsterdam, and I stepped in when I saw a pimp hitting one of his girls. We were in a dark, narrow alley at the time. He walked up to me, suddenly realized that I was 6 feet 4 inches tall, weighed 230 pounds, had size 15 feet, and wasn’t backing down.
He reached inside his jacket and told me he had a gun.
I looked him right in the eyes and said: “Hey, this might be a really good time to get it out.”
To be honest, if he did have a gun, I figured I would rather wrestle him for it than try to outrun the bullets. He backed down.
I rarely let myself get really angry… I wouldn’t like me when I’m angry… but now and then, a person is behaving in a way that calls for a little confrontation. Here are two of my favorite ‘tough guy’ lines I like to use on people in those kinds of situations.
- “If you are going to keep being a dick, I am going to squeeze you until something shoots out of the top of your head.”
- “I am going to climb you like an angry gorilla on a short, ugly Christmas tree.”
