Inner View… # 7

Next, we interview the enigmatic mystery that is: List of X. You should really check out: http://listofx.com/ This is some funny stuff. If you like lists… about stuff… then this is the place for you to go… seriously… put it on your list…

Also, I am sad to report that I am no longer taking requests for this interview thing. I have a few more people in line, and by the time we get done, we will all be ready to move on… and I want to finish off with some weird ones, so I might interview an artificial intelligence… and some aliens from my sci-fi novels…

But don’t panic, I will either come up with a new list of questions, or turn this into part of my Crazy Questions series…

Here we go…

————————-

1. What do you like best about my blog?

It’s totally unpredictable and indescribable. Wait, did I just happen to describe it?  Wow! see, told you it was totally unpredictable!

(That answer made the crack squirrels in my head stop working while they scampered around searching for the meaning of the answer to that question)

2. Do you like monkeys?

Of course I do, I evolved from them!

(Some people insist that they did not, in fact, evolve from monkeys… and I often find myself agreeing with them… they didn’t evolve at all)

3. If you won a free, month-long trip to Paris, but each day for one hour you had to stand under the Eiffel Tower naked, would you still go?

No, because that would give me a serious case of the Eiffel envy.

(I should have considered the fact that it isn’t fair to make my male minions stand in front of any towering edifice naked… the comparison can only be demoralizing)

4. What makes your blog unique?

I’m the only blogger who would answer every question with the list of 10 reasons.  (I also have 10 reasons why I didn’t actually do it here.)

(I like the fact that you always do ten things… I can count to ten without taking my pants off!)

5. If you were in charge of the universe, what is the first order you would issue?

People must pass a spelling and grammar proficiency exam before being allowed to comment on the Internet.

(But then you wouldn’t have met me)

6. What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?

That I couldn’t come up with a funny answer for this question.

(Well, you aren’t supposed to be ‘coming up’ with stuff… we are trying to get to know the real you)

7. Would you rather spend the day with an adult, a kid, or a baby?

No preferences for spending the day.  However, for spending the night – definitely with an adult.

(Now that was a great freekin’ answer!!!)

8. What, in your opinion, is the worst thing that Dick Cheney ever did?

Being born.

(See, there is no bad answer to that question)

9. What is the worst thing that you ever did?

I stole the answer to question #8 from Trent Lewin’s interview (https://pouringmyartout.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/inner-view-3/)

(Did I mention that one of my crack squirrels is a lawyer?)

10. If you could have dinner with one fictional character… including cartoons… who would you pick?

Roadrunner from the cartoon.  This bird is really annoying, but it’s poultry and looks low-fat, which should be good for my cholesterol.

(I did that Photoshop picture of the coyote getting ready to eat the cooked Roadrunner when I went through my weird cartoon phase… also, me an my daughter Mollie once saw a roadrunner right down the street from our house… sorry, did you really think this was all about you???)

11. If you were locked in a room with a knife, a barbeque, and a living cow, would you die of starvation before you could bring yourself to kill and eat the cow?

 If that’s the type of the situation where no one ever lets me out of the room, I would die of starvation AFTER I kill and eat the cow.

(People, are you paying attention? Do you see why I love this guy?)

12. What one word describes your blog best?

Humor x 10 (you said “one word”, but there were no restrictions on multiplication signs and numbers).

(This is turning into one of those things where they do a TV show and think that one person will be the star but people end up loving another character more and it ends up being more and more about them… I think that happened on the Big Bang Theory with Sheldon)

13. Is there one celebrity that you would leave your family for if they declared their undying love for you?

Dick Cheney.  If Dick Cheney declared his undying love for me, I’d have to leave my family to go into hiding.

(You could just shoot him in the face… I wouldn’t mind)

14. If I got my hands on a photo of you and did funny things to you in Photoshop for a whole week, but you had no input into what I actually did to you, and I posted everything I did, would you be okay with that? And can I have a picture of you?

Yes, you can do anything you want with my picture, absolutely anything.  And that is why you can’t have my picture.

(Sigh)

15. What makes you cry?

Onions.

(I know… they are such a beautiful… fruit… vegetable… thing… I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry… sniff)

16. If you could cuss out one famous person, living or dead, who would that be?

I’m not really the cussing type.  My parents taught me that cussing solves nothing.  On the other hand, if you can get me a high-powered sniper rifle…

(Please… pick Dick Cheney pick Dick Cheney pick Dick Cheney)

17. Tell me the truth, do you really like me?

Let’s just say, I was going to answer PMAO in question 13.  But then Dick Cheney declared his undying love for me and I had to act fast.  By the way, any word on that rifle?

(I honestly thought, when I snuck that question in, that it wouldn’t end up resulting in a thinly veiled death threat being made against me… once again, I have underestimated my minions)

18. What kind of circus trick would you like to be able to do?

Sneak into the circus without paying.

(Would you also like to be able to steal those weird rectangular snack things that are made of old popcorn glued together with a sticky pink sugar coating?)

19. Which drug side effects from those TV commercials disturb you the most?

What TV commercials?  TV commercials?…  Ohhhh!  Memory loss!!

(But if it also caused anal leakage, then the memory loss might be a good thing… a really good thing)

20. Who the hell do you think you are?

Who am I??   Umm… Well… Ummm….. Damn you, memory loss!!!

(It’s okay, I don’t remember why I thought that question would be funny)

21. Now tell us why we should follow you…

Because 300 spambots can’t all be wrong.  But mainly, because PMAO follows me.  Is there any higher seal of approval?  Other than Dick Cheney’s undying love?

(It’s all true, each and every word… and I do not follow people lightly… nor does Dick give away his heart in a willy-nilly fashion)

Just for you…

1. Seriously, how do you think up all those crazy things you put in those lists?

Sometimes, a topic inspires me, and I come up with 4-5 jokes on it in about a minute. Then I bash my head against the wall for an hour or two until I make it to 10.

(I could loan you some of my crack squirrels… they aren’t always funny, but they work fast)

2. How did you decide to do the lists in the first place?

I have been writing jokes for about 15 years. Then, three years ago, I came up with a genius idea to number them.

I must admit, I thought this was where you would admit that you stole the idea from David Letterman’s top ten list)

3. Would you ever consider doing a list all about me???

Sure, why not?  Once I have a bout of inspiration and a bottle of Aspirin.

(I think aspirin causes memory loss)

——————————–

Now, go check this guy out…

About pouringmyartout

You will laugh at my antics... That is my solemn promise to you... Or your money back... Stop on by...
This entry was posted in stuff about blogging and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

68 Responses to Inner View… # 7

  1. PsiFiGal says:

    This is priceless! I didn’t learn a darn thing about X but I found a new blogger to follow, hello Art I can’t wait to read some of your posts… Thanks X for the repost that led me here “:^ D

  2. Elyse says:

    Now wait just a minute. I’ve just discovered this series and you are going to stop doing it? Before you even know who I am? Art, Art, Art. I am so deeply disappointed in you.

    But I agree wholeheartedly that X’s answer to with whom he’d like to spend the day with (for spending the night – definitely with an adult) was just this side of brilliant. Or deviant. Perhaps we really do need a picture of X so that we can register him. Anybody who right off the bat thinks of spending the night with children and babies is dangerous. In a humorous sort of way, though.

  3. Carrie Rubin says:

    Great interview! Numbers 3 and 8 made me laugh out loud. You definitely ask the best questions. 🙂

  4. Twindaddy says:

    I think I need 10 good reasons why you agreed to this shoddy interview.

  5. bernasvibe says:

    Reblogged this on Berna's Vibe~The Way I See IT and commented:
    An interview of my #1 fave blogger..List of X .

  6. 1jaded1 says:

    Hi List of X. Humor x 10… Absolutely. Dick Cheney’s love…absolutely terrifying. Art’s previous posts with pictures should prove my point. Funny interview!

  7. Ankur Mithal says:

    I thought I did not know who John Kerry is.
    Now, it seems I also don’t know who Dick Cheney is. Must get to know who all I don’t know in America.
    AAAAAAsum inner-view.

  8. List of X says:

    Reblogged this on List of X and commented:
    One of my best blogging friends – an artist, science fiction writer, most prolific WordPress commenter, and a very entertaining blogger, Pouring My Art Out, had just interviewed me, asking hard-hitting investigative questions about cows, monkeys, and Dick Cheney. To be entertained and learn approximately nothing about me, please follow the link.
    P.S. Don’t mind the PMAO’s crack squirrels, they’re mostly harmless.
    P.P.S. Regular lists will resume once my brain thaws out from the deep freeze brought on by the polar vortex.

  9. Trent Lewin says:

    I laughed so bloody hard… that’s a first on this blog, actually, usually it’s just a nasaly snort here and there, occasionally followed up with a wide spread pattern of vomit. Just kidding.

    List of X, you have made my evening, you strange Dick Cheney-loving beautiful person. Go Dick!

  10. Daile says:

    I don’t even know who this Dick Cheney (?) guy is. Sounds like a douche though.

  11. Al says:

    Love those answers 😀

  12. List of X says:

    Yay! Thank you, Art! Does this mean I’m famous now?
    I will never admit that I stole my idea from David Letterman, because he has better crack squirrel lawyers than even you do. But I won’t say no to your generous offer of your crack squirrels, because mine are all out with concussions.

Leave a Reply to 1jaded1 Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s