Dachau… part 1… (or); what an unfunny thing to put on a humor blog…

a 1The words translate to something like: ‘Work will set you free’… probably the most cynical use of language in history… and it was on the gates on most of the Nazi concentration camps, as far as I know. It was supposed to lull the people being herded through these gates into a false sense of security…

a 2Dachau is unusual. It was the longest-running camp… first open and almost the last closed. Technically, even though it had the ‘showers’ all set up to pump poison gas, they were never used. The prisoners here died of starvation, disease and torture.

a 3The place is huge. Every one of those long rectangles of stone once held a barracks block into which were crammed thousands of people… Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals, and people who disagreed with the system.

a 4I can’t explain the place to you.

a 5I was here once before, with my older daughter.

a 6It wasn’t any easier the second time.

a 7This time we took the escorted tour… and I learned even more things that I wish I hadn’t.

a 8For some reason, seeing groups of German teenage school kids walking around and ignoring their teachers who were trying to explain the history of this place… laughing and joking… sort of pissed me off. If anybody needs to learn the lesson of this place, it is the German people… I mean, we all do… but them most of all.

a 9We drove to Dachau from Munich, and it isn’t a very far drive.

a 10The camp is now nestled inside the surrounding community which moves ever closer to the walls.

a 11I did wonder what it would be like these days to be in your backyard and see the guard towers through the trees. I also wondered what it would have been like to be in this cell, looking out past where the barbed wire used to be strung and seeing the machinegun nest.

a 12Only a few of the original buildings still stand… and a few have been rebuilt.

a 13I do applaud the German people for maintaining this place to keep the history alive, no matter how horrible that history is.

a 14The old SS command buildings and the rooms where they used to torture prisoners have been converted into a museum that houses many interesting artifacts and a great deal of historical information… but one thing I saw will stay with me forever…

a 15It was this huge map, showing all the concentration camps… and the extermination camps… and the medical experimentation camps… and the work camps where they worked people to death making things for the Nazi war machine. These camps extended all through the vast Nazi-held territories. Some were so big that they had satellite camps clustered around them to take in the overflow. This truly was murder on an industrial scale.

One last thing: Screw you, holocaust deniers!

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Beer: yes… Nazis: no… and some funny German words and an elevator filled with mirrors…

a 1Our first night in Munich, we managed to find a place that served beer… what are the odds?

a 2Okay, these aren’t in order… we saw that sign the next morning after our walk to the Glockenspiel… but it is actually illegal to print and use the word Nazi anywhere in Germany, I seem to recall hearing somewhere… unless, I guess, you are coming down firmly on the ‘no Nazis’ side of the argument…

a 3I posted the ‘no Nazis’ sticker picture to offset the sadness brought on by this plaque we had just seen moments before. I should warn you all that one of the places Mollie wanted to see was Dachau concentration camp, and we went there after our visit to the Glockenspiel. I have pictures. You may want to skip it. Mollie is now fascinated by history. I want to say it is because of me, but she was crazy about her AP European History teacher… so…

a 4But anyway, back to our first night in Munich, where we managed to find this famous place.

a 5It started off well… I only had a few beers… but they were huge…

a 6I took a picture of the oompa band… not to be confused with an Oompa Loompa band…

a 7One picture of the pretty ceiling is fine…

a 8But bad selfies of the ceiling mean you might want to slow down the drinking… German beer is strong…

a 9And when you end up with a bunch of pictures of the ceiling… and none of the food…

a 10Well…

a 11Maybe take it easy with the beer… that’s all I’m saying… oh, and we did let Mollie, who, at 16 is legal to drink in Germany… have her first sip of beer. I wish I could share that picture. She was not impressed.

a 12I don’t know why I didn’t end up with any pictures of our hotel room in Munich. It was crazy. Way too modern… with like a rotating Japanese paper wall to get into the bathroom… which also didn’t go well with too much beer…

a 13They all went to the hotel to rest, and I wandered around taking pictures… of giant inflatable pretzels…

a 15Maybe it was the beer, and maybe it wasn’t, but these sign just struck me as funny…

a 16I know… I’m not proud of myself either…

a 17In my head, that will always be pronounced as: urine schmuck, hoy… also, the German word for ‘exit’ is ausfahrt… which never failed to make me laugh…

a 18And that was the night I rode the elevator in the hotel up and down about 6 times…

a 19

Trying to get the ultimate selfie…

a 20In my defense, I tried to do the same thing in Versailles in the Hall of Mirrors…

a 21But there were too many tourists in the way then…

a 22None of these came out as good as I was hoping they would.

a 23But when you are as self-absorbed as I am, you do what you have to do.

a 24I still think if I got the right focus and angle it would work… hey… most of my experimental ‘selfies on horseback’ that I was playing around with on Maui didn’t turn out too well either… but someday, I am going to do something magical with myself… uh… so to speak…

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Payback…

The other day, I went to the bank, and I saw one of those Google Maps cars…

a 1 a 1

I walked all around it taking pictures with my phone from every angle. The guy got nervous and asked what I was doing… I just shrugged and said, “Hey, you guys drive around all the time taking pictures of us and our stuff.”

He didn’t seem to get the humor in this situation at all.

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Munich… part 2… sums and parts and fancy clocks and chicken-dragons…

The thing… and this is a thing about a Glockenspiel, so how cool is that?… about the Glockenspiel… (see, I told you)… is that it is really just a big, fancy clock.

a 1But the thing… and this is a thing about architecture, so who knows how excited you are getting about that… about architecture… (I did warn you after all, and we have learned this very same ‘thing’ about architecture all over Europe as we all traveled together on this adventure)… but the thing about architecture is that often a building can be overwhelmingly beautiful when taken as a whole, and seems to be more than the sum of its parts, but we must be careful to establish beyond a doubt that this is actually true, or we run the risk of overlooking those very parts that add up to the whole… if you see what I mean…

a 2

What sets the Glockenspiel apart from other, lesser clocks, is not only its size… the world is full of big clock towers… but the little show it puts on every hour way up in the tower above you. Jugglers come out and whirl to the chiming bells… towns-people and musicians dance past, flags are waved and drinks are drunk…

a 3And if you look closely at the upper portion of the spectacle, there are two knights in armor… on horse in armor… done almost life-sized… that come out a have a joust, with one rider unseating the other. Wait… why does the bottom part look the same in both pictures? Was it broken? Did it never move? Obviously, I was looking at the sum and ignoring the parts… see how dangerous that can be?

a 4But look at the carvings… that guy slaying a little dragon lizard, the weird saints and strange, random ornamentation. (Somebody should really Google it and see if this is a reiteration of the original Glockenspiel built after the original was bombed to smithereens during the war, or if in fact it is an actual old building… that seems like it would be good to know)…

a 5One thing about the Glockenspiel that I love best is the statues on the fountain in front of it. I guess the fountain doesn’t get to be included in my ‘sum and parts’ analogy for the Glockenspiel… but it will serve as an entirely separate example. There are four little cherub/knights, one in each corner, and each battling a distinct kind of dragon creature…

a 6All under the eye of this watchful figure… who could be giving the fat little warriors a hand, for crying out loud…

a 7But just look at the detailing… that beast is like half dragon, half chicken… in case you were wondering where I came up with that for the title…

a 8And that one is like a lion/lizard…

a 9That one… I don’t know what that one is… like a flying dragon/dog… I guess these are all kinds of evil that good must make war against.

a 10The main thing is that good is kicking… winning…

a 11The building that houses the Glockenspiel… seriously, can somebody Google it?… it might be the town hall… also has lots of little architectural touches…

a 12These are the ‘parts’ that add up to the ‘sum’…

a 13All I am saying is that when you are looking at the parts, remember the sum…

a 14And when you are looking at the sum, don’t forget to check out the parts…

a 15Because, and I think it was Confucius… or maybe Plato… that said this first: “There are two kinds of dirt in the world, light dirt that sticks to dark things, and dark dirt that sticks to light things”… and it pays to bear that in mind when you travel… (oh man… I crack me up)…

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Munich… part 1…

The last city we ended up in during our European adventure was Munich, Germany. I am not trying to be insulting, but I did try to warn Mollie that Munich is not really famous for being a fun tourist destination. But it turns out I was wrong. It was a lot of fun, the food was great, and besides, it was close to two things on Mollie’s dream list… which we will get to later…

a 1Many of you may be familiar with Munich’s famous Glockenspiel… or at least I hope you are, because I took a lot of pictures of it.

a 2We left Rothenburg in the early afternoon and the drive through the German countryside was beautiful.

a 3To be honest, we didn’t go see the Glockenspiel until the next morning, but I am trying to build up the end of our trip into a crescendo of excitement… and the Glockenspiel isn’t really all that exciting.

a 4But we did have a lovely breakfast at a café while we waited for the Glockenspiel to do the most exciting thing it does…

a 5And the coffee was really strong… and came with whip cream…

a 7Now don’t get me wrong… Munich is a lovely city. It just feels so new. Maybe that is because America and Great Britain really flattened the place back in World War Two.

a 8I don’t even know if that is a new Glockenspiel or if the original survived the war.

a 9But either way, let’s all meet here later to see the Glockenspiel do it’s thing… shall we?

a 10I mean, you know, so that we can move on to the big finish…

a 11Because I might still have other adventures to share from this summer… you never know…

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The world’s first inflatable hate doll…

a 1 a 1

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Goodbye, Rothenburg… and a few last tips for the next time you find yourself there…

a 1Make some friends. It is always good to go out of your way to meet the locals.

a 2I met this guy right outside our hotel… which was right outside the city walls…

a 3And speaking of the city walls… be sure to walk along the top of the walls of Rothenburg.

a 4Run your fingers over stones that were put together in medieval times…

a 5It will give you a chance to peek into people’s back gardens.

a 6Look through every embrasure and arrow slit… wait… is that my mom?

a 7I could’ve sworn I saw my mom down there…

a 8I knew it!

a 9So yeah, walk as much of the wall as you have energy for.

a 10In fact, do it first, it will help you get the lay of the land.

a 11You can look out at the surrounding countryside and imagine what at would have been like to be standing at this fighting position holding a crossbow as enemy soldiers come marching at you.

a 12

Or not…

a 13That is a view of the wall from inside the town. You can see that they often built homes right up against it.

a 14But I should warn you that if you are tall… like me… you are going to be doing a lot of stooping.

a 15Oh, and visit the Christmas shop… where I took that picture with the giant nutcracker…

a 16

The Christmas shop is world-famous…

a 17And I took a picture of this fantastically decorated case inside… right before I saw the ‘no photos’ sign… which is a shame… because it is like Christmas exploded in there…

a 18And this cool old vehicle is still parked out front… just like it was almost ten years ago when I was last there.

a 19Bonus points if you remember this vehicles from posts I did just a few months ago.

a 20And don’t forget to take the night watchman’s tour… no, that isn’t the real guy… it is a doll… but it does look like him… you can also see the same guy on that TV series; Rick Steve’s Europe, which did an awesome episode featuring Rothenburg.

a 21And don’t get too attached to the locals… you know you will have to be moving on before too long…

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New and improved Europe trip photo post… with 75% more photos and 80% less words… and it’s still free!!!

Rothenburg, Germany… arguably the best-preserved medieval town anywhere in all of Europe…

a 1a 2a 3a 4a 5a 6a 7a 8a 9a 10a 11a 12a 13 a 14a 15a 16a 17a 19a 20a 21a 22Oh, and they have good meat there… a lot of good meat…

a 18Because… Germany!

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Adventure walking…

Most of you probably know me well enough that you recall I have this thing I do… and I call it; ‘the adventure walk’. Whenever I am someplace besides home, I get up super early and just start walking. I have been doing it most of my life.

a 1Rothenburg is perhaps the most magical place there is to do an early morning adventure walk.

a 2I climbed the medieval wall…

a 3Hey, I tried to wake Mollie up to go with me, but she was just to tired to get up.

a 4Don’t worry, we stayed in Rothenburg for most of the day, and it isn’t a very big town.

a 5But that feeling of being almost alone in this beautiful place… the crisp feel of the air after the rain the night before… the play of light on the buildings and cobblestones as the sun came up…

a 6It really was awesome.

a 7I recommend using Google to learn about Rothenburg. The town has a fascinating history.

a 8Or you could use the search bar on my blog to go back and learn about it from my posts about the time I went there with my other daughter… I talked about the history then… or was it just a while ago when I was using pictures of the town to play with colors by removing all the colors from pictures in Photoshop except for one element like a window box full of flowers… wherever…

a 9I think that if you go to the trouble of learning about Rothenburg, you will put it on your list of places to visit when you get the chance.

a 10You will not regret it…

a 11Especially if you take an early morning adventure walk.

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Taking the train to Germany… uh… wait… I changed my mind… I want to walk…

a 1There I am, sitting on a train bound for Germany. I like trains.

a 2This is me when I realized how fast we were going…

a 3We all know I suck at math… and Americans can’t do the metric system… but isn’t that like 200 miles an hour?

a 4We rented a car in Frankfurt, and then spent most of the day driving through places that looked like that.

a 5We saw a lot of happy German cows.

a 6And we ended up here… Rothenburg… a medieval walled town. And yes, I have been here before with my other daughter. She played with a bunch of other musicians in this very square about ten years ago. Only it wasn’t raining then.

a 7

I have added a few more pictures from the following day… when it wasn’t raining… just to fill this post out…

a 8Because Rothenburg really is the most charming town you could ever find.

a 9And there is the Italian restaurant we ended up having dinner in… after we did the Night Watchman’s tour… which you should Google… in the cold and rain… the night before I took that picture…

a 10That is what I looked like the night before, after wearing a wet hat in the rain for a few hours. My daughter took that picture right after I took my hat off. They were all laughing at me… my kid, my wife, my mom… sigh.

a 11We were planning to eat German food. Because that is what you do in Germany. But by the time we were all settled in and then did the tour of the town, and were sopping wet and freezing cold, this place, close to hotel, seemed nice. And it was awesome. We talked to the owner about Italy for quite a while, and the food was superb.

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