More babysitting adventures… part 1…

a 1

Yes. I am babysitting little miss Olivia again, who, for those of you paying attention is the daughter of some friends of ours… and if there is a better feeling than having a kid sit on your lap and looking at you like that, I sure don’t know what it is…

a 2

I was wearing my monkey shirt again… because she loves the monkey shirt and my wife hates it… and Olivia is getting really good at making monkey sounds and gestures…

a 3

Yeah, yeah, I will take you outside in a while… you need to finish eating first…

a 4

Hey, watch this… she can point with both hands… at me…

a 5

Because she likes me…

a 6

I told you I would take you outside so you could look for airplanes.

a 7

Eating cinnamon toast in the princess chair…

a 8

Eating cinnamon toast on my knees…

a 9

Oh yeah… cinnamon toast…

Posted in Pictures of me, Stories of my life | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

the Donald…

a 1

I finally figured out who this guy reminds me of… loud, pompous, self-centered… (and not in that amusing and adorable way that I am self-centered)… a complete lack of self-control, always picks the wrong side of any issue or moral choice, and when he speaks, you know there are words coming out, but you can’t make any sense of them.

Posted in cartoons, funny famous people pictures | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Oh, I’m a blacksmith, and I’m okay… the final chapter…

a 1

I know that the quality of some of these photos is bad, it was dark in that barn… and smokey… and I didn’t want to bring the big, good camera, so I brought my old one… which hates low light… but look how happy I am… and look at my once pristine leather apron, which is now burned and smoke and soot stained… much like I am.

a 2

I loved everything about the blacksmith class I took. I hope you read the two earlier posts, so you can learn all about what we made… a steak-turner…

a 3

I couldn’t take any pictures of me hammering my own project on the anvil… I don’t have enough hands. That is another of the students.

a 4

That is a horrible picture, but it captures, in a sense, my favorite part of the project… putting twists in the bar. That is our teacher, showing us how to do it. You have to heat up the part you want to twist, then cool the metal on either side of that in the quenching water. Then quickly, so it stays hot, you clamp it in the vice, and stick a two-ended monkey wrench on it and twist, trying not to bend it side to side.

a 5

Then he showed us how to taper a five inch point on the other end… not a square taper this time, but a rounded one.

a 6

He made it all look so easy.

a 7

Okay, I got my steel bar with the loop and knot I made at one end,  the double ended monkey wrench, and a wooden hammer and wooden block… so you can knock any bends out of the twisted part without flattening the twist edges. Notice my new gloves are now broken in.

a 8

Oh yeah… I got me some twists! You only needed to do one twist to pass the class. I did four… in alternating directions, twisting a different number of times every time I reheated it and twisted it again.

a 9

That looks so awesome. Then it was just a matter of lots of heating and pounding to lengthen and round the end to a nice rat tail.

a 10

This was not as easy as it sounds… Then, I had to make a bunch of complicated bends to make the twisted hook that you actually use to flip a steak on a barbeque…

a 11

And there you have it… my very first blacksmith project… From a plain, square, 18-inch-long bar of steel to an actual tool. I can’t wait for the next class, where we are going to make blacksmith tongs!!!

 

Posted in My art, Pictures of me, Stories of my life | Tagged , , , , , | 10 Comments

Oh, I’m a blacksmith, and I’m okay… part 2…

Due to the overwhelming popularity of the first post of this series… (with 0 readers so far)… I have decided to just keep plowing ahead with the exciting adventure of my first blacksmithing class, and also, giving you free lessons…

a 1

I learned many valuable lessons at my first class… among them, the fact that blacksmithing is hard… and also, the fact that you should really shave the back of your neck… or have someone do it for you… because there are hot sparks and cinders and ash flying around, and you are bent over a lot… and, well, a burn on the back of your neck is bad.. but not as bad as a forest fire… (okay, that didn’t really happen, but it could have)…

a 11

That there is our awesome volunteer teacher… who is brave enough to let a bunch of amateurs play with fire and red-hot metal… (not really, if you let the metal get red, you ruined it, it needs to be a bright orange, the same color as the hottest coals)…

a 15

That is a demonstration of the steps needed to make our first project… a steak turner… It might sound easy, but it took us more than 6 hours to do it, what with all the learning everything from scratch… Remember, this is three six-hour classes just to learn enough basic safety and skills to be allowed to take the beginner class.

a 16

After we got our forges going, we all got to cut an 18-inch piece of steel from a long, square, steel bar.

a 17

The teacher showed us the first steps, and then we were ready to try it on our own… look at my new hammer and gloves… so clean and virginal… sniff… they grow up so fast…

a 18

There is no feeling like sticking your first piece of steel into the forge… well… there is… but I’m not going to talk about that here…

a 20

That is the perfect color to get your metal… well, the orange part, not the red part… once again, that part is too hot. You can ruin the structure of the steel by burning all the carbon out of it. When you get it so hot that it comes out of the fire looking like one of those sparklers kids play with on the 4th of July, you really messed up.

a 21

There is a lot of juggling going on… not literally… but you have to pump air into the fire, check your piece, move coal around, poke the fire, check your piece, dump the ashes and the clinker… (see last post if you don’t know what that means)… check the color of your piece again, pull it out, hammer it, then stick it back in the fire when it cools… which doesn’t take long.

a 22

I won’t bore you with all the details, but we first had to pound the end of our bars out into a 7-inch-long, still square, tapered point… which isn’t easy. Then we used a u-shaped bending tool in a vice to get a loop in the end.

a 23

Then we had to keep heating and pounding until we got the whole tapered end wrapped around the bar in this cool knot. Join me later to see how my project came out.

 

Posted in My art, Pictures of me, Stories of my life | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Oh, I’m a blacksmith, and I’m okay… part 1…

a 1

Look at me, so excited, in my still-clean leather apron, on my first day at blacksmith school… looking sort of cute with my skewed glasses and child-like enthusiasm, I must say…

a 2

You know I share not just my art but my whole life with you, so I might as well teach you how to be a blacksmith too… vicariously… That is my forge. It was left that way on purpose by the last person to use it. That is because the coal… bituminous, for those who care… has three distinct forms. The black stuff is not what you want to burn, you want to burn the stuff that was heated and partially burned by the last person to use the forge… (which goes out about 20 minutes after you stop cranking air into it)… The lighter stuff is now called ‘coke’, and it burns much hotter and more evenly than the regular coal. The third stage is called ‘clinker’… when the coal has been burnt until it won’t burn anymore. It looks like glass mixed with bits of steel.

a 3

There is my hand-cranked air blower. First, you have to sort all the coal by hand, piling up the coal and coke, and getting rid of the clinker.

a 4

By the time you sorted and piled all the coal, you have cleared your ‘clinker box’, that pit in the middle of your forge table. In the bottom is a little rocking panel. You jiggle a handle under the table back and forth, which rocks that door side to side, allowing burnt coal and ash to fall into a bucket under the table.

a 5

Next, you light your fire by making a bowl out of crumbled newspapers…

a 6

You add one last piece of paper to make a ‘jellyfish’. Then, you put the jellyfish in the clinker box, light it, pile on coke, and surround the coke with a volcano of coal, which, as it heats up, and turns to coke, you push into the center… remember, you have to keep cranking in air, and clearing your clinker box, and moving new coke into the center, and breaking up the big lumps that fuse together with the tar in the coal…

a 8

And if you do it right, you end up with one raging-hot forge fire! Remember, add fresh coal instead of coke, and you get less heat and a lot of green smoke, and people look at you like you are a loser. Also, bear in mind that different levels inside the fire are hotter or cooler. and than you can burn steel if you let it get too hot. (It’s all about the color)…

a 10

Okay, you are now ready to forge some freekin’ steel!

Posted in Pictures of me, Stories of my life | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The me tiki… part 8… (or): chasing crack…

So… you know that tiki I am carving that looks just like me?

a 1

Well, as I was rounding down the corner of my face, I found this crack that didn’t seem to be too bad… until I started chasing it… to see how bad it was…

IMG_4912

The thing about having a crack in your head, combined with having crack squirrels in your head… is that if I had just ignored it, it wouldn’t have been quite so bad… but I was worried about that black stuff… that might be wood rot… so I started chasing the crack.

IMG_4914

I finally made myself stop… because… you know… I have ears…

Posted in My art, Stories of my life | Tagged , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Look, it’s a Trump Dick-pic… oh man… I kill me…

a 4

Seriously, that is a whole lot of evil in one place…

Posted in Dick Cheney, funny famous people pictures | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Looking into the face of evil…

a 1

But I might have found the perfect person to run as Trump’s vice president…

Posted in Dick Cheney, funny famous people pictures | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

More babysitting…

IMG_4925

You may recall that a few weeks ago, I babysat our friends daughter, and ended up leaving my little camera over there… I went and got it today.

IMG_4917

So I have a few more pictures of my buddy, little Olivia.

IMG_4918

Just so you know, the booboo on her forehead happened when I was not there.

IMG_4927

We had a great time, once again, and she fell asleep on my lap… if there is a better feeling than that, I don’t know what it is.

IMG_4930

That is a great picture of my once-again fat belly… and also her strange little ritual of only being able to fall asleep if she crosses her ankles, raises her legs, covers her face with a blanket, and then claps her hands.

IMG_4931

I don’t know why that all works for her… but it is just about the cutest thing there ever was. Oh, and I am watching her a few days this week too… so… yeah…

Posted in Pictures of me, Stories of my life | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

I told you I have crack squirrels in my head…

imageedit_1_6992212023

Yup…

Posted in cartoons, My art, my weird moving pictures | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments