Pouring My Art Out

Yesterday, I babysat the twin boys belonging to some friends of ours. Their older sister, Olivia, was there too. This is advanced babysitting. Do not trust an overpaid teenage girl to do this job.

Not only do I have much more experience than any teenage babysitter, but my rates are lower.

Does a teenage girl know that a baby can be completely asleep, and stop drinking, but then, if you pull the bottle away, they will wake up, give you a dirty look, and start crying if you don’t get the bottle in fast enough? I doubt it.

Also, teenage girls should be focusing on important things like homework and who is going to take them to the prom… if they can put their cell phones down long enough to worry about those things.

And would a teenage girl know how to prop up a bottle on a rolled-up blanket for a moment while changing another baby’s diaper and catching a flying two-year-old who had just flung herself off the couch?

It takes skills to contain this level of potential misadventure.

Hey, I’m not knocking teenage girls. When I was a teenage boy, some of my best friends were teenage girls.

When it comes to watching three very young human beings, you want someone who raised two teenage girls, not a teenage girl. Although, in fairness, I suppose that five or six teenage girls could get the job done.

But the kids wouldn’t have nearly as much fun.