Otherwheres Collide… (A humorous science fiction thriller)… prologue…

(Author’s Note)… Well, here it is. I am going to start posting the chapters of the fourth and probably not final book of my action/humor science fiction series: The Otherwhere Chronicles. Although the books are, I think, able to stand alone, it would obviously behoove you to buy the first three, if you find yourself getting sucked into the story. They are available right there—> in my sidebar—> by clicking on the little pictures of my book covers.

Even if you don’t care about how all the hundreds of characters and dozens of races ended up where they are, or why they are doing what they are doing, please feel free to give me some feedback. Pointing out any glaring mistakes would be helpful too, but I did get around my inability to edit my own work by having this story be written and told by some unknown alien. So, if he isn’t an expert in the English language, don’t blame me.

Here is the prologue, which begins each of the four books. It will give you some sense of what is going on… I suppose… And I am not going to put the list of characters and races that are included in the books, unless a few of you really want me too. Why distract you from some light reading. Also, I will not post the last quarter of so of the book. Something about a cow and giving the milk away for free. HA!

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Otherwheres Collide

Prologue

 

I would like to take credit for writing this story, but the truth is that I did not. I realize that by placing my name on it I seem to be taking credit for its authorship, and I do apologize for that. In my own defense I feel justified in claiming some ownership because in a way, this story is about me. Oh, it isn’t about the me that is writing these words in this time and place, but if I am not mistaken, the hero of this story is another me from another reality.

I realize how confusing this must be to you. It certainly confused me when I first began to try to understand it all. And the story itself, not just the details surrounding it, is strange and a little mystifying.

For one thing, it seems to have been written by an alien. And as if that wasn’t difficult enough to take in, the alien in question has a tendency to ramble on and then suddenly veer from the course of his own narrative to go shooting off in some completely new direction. He also has a penchant for leaving important details out and then coming back to them at a later time, at least when he isn’t going into incredible depth of detail over some seemingly insignificant bit of information.

If you can manage to make it past these idiosyncrasies the story is absolutely incredible. Moreover, I believe that every word of it is true. I have not edited or changed the story in any way despite the unusual style of the writing. I want it to unfold for you in the same way that it did for me. I did not feel that it was my place to second-guess the author’s choice of words nor the order in which he placed them. Once you get used to the manner in which he wrote, the style has a certain grace, elegance and flow that is really quite charming.

Perhaps I should begin at the beginning.

The manuscript containing this story showed up on my front porch about a year and a half ago. Someone dropped it off, rang the doorbell, and then disappeared. It arrived wrapped in a large leather pouch. I am assuming that the pouch was some type of leather, although unlike any that I have ever seen For one thing, it was a deep, rich purple color. I don’t mean that it was dyed or otherwise colored purple. I mean the skin of whatever beast the strangely textured hide came from was actually purple.

The paper on which the story was written was likewise otherworldly, and I do not use that word lightly. The paper, if paper it was, was a bright, shiny white and was thinner than any tracing paper, and yet I could not tear it with my bare hands. It could be cut with sharp scissors, but it would not burn even when held in the flame of a candle, nor would it be dirtied by the soot of the smoke.

The words themselves, in English, were written by hand. But as I have stated, I have come to believe that the hand that wrote them was not the hand of a human being. The ink used was red, and glowed with a faint inner light. You can, in point of fact, read them in a completely darkened room.

As you read the story you will come to understand that the narrator is describing events that he actually witnessed and yet he takes no active part and the participants in the story seem to be unaware of him. I am convinced that the being who wrote these words did indeed observe all the events that transpired without being a part of them, if that makes any sense at all.

Of course I thought this was all some elaborate hoax when I received the package, a practical joke being played on me by some particularly clever friend. But I rapidly understood, as the miraculous properties of the ink and paper made themselves known to me, that this was not the answer to this mystery.

Once I began to read the words themselves, written in a beautifully flowing script, I ceased to worry about the origins of the documents and became instead enthralled by the story itself. Oh, the style of the storytelling can be trying but once you get past that, the story begins to sweep you along. You are floating on a raft in a river of words, and you begin to wonder what strange places this magical river will meander to next. Yes, you get delayed by swirling currents or sidetracked into small tributaries, but even these diversions from your journey offer panoramic vistas or unexpected delights. They add to the adventure rather than detract from it, and you never know when something that you learned during one of these interludes will become important later in your voyage.

The story is like a river in one other way. As it progresses it becomes deeper and wider and swifter in its passage. The journey becomes ever more exciting as you pass through rapids and dodge jutting rocks. And if, as I believe, it all actually happened, or will happen, or is happening, then there is hope for all of us. And I don’t just mean all of us here on this planet.

I found this hope in the hero of the story who happens to share my first name, and if he is real, a great deal more than that. Oh, on the face of it he is a most unlikely hero. He is over 50 years of age. He works as a custodian on an alien space station and is in no way important or even special. He isn’t particularly strong or brave or clever or smart. He is, when you get right down to it, quite reluctant to take on the role of hero, and yet take it on he does despite his feelings. And in a strange way that is the most heroic thing about him.

He is lazy, sarcastic, irreverent, irritable, stubborn, self-centered and quirky. But he can be funny and charming, loyal and even brave when it is required. But he also refuses to take himself too seriously, and this goes a long way towards making up for his less than stellar qualities. He may well be, as I said, the most unlikely hero ever born of our species, and yet somehow that just seems to make him more human.

It slowly dawned on me, as I began to read about this other Arthur, that he was in fact me. There are facts in the story that only someone who knows me intimately could possibly know. Many of the facts are just a little bit wrong, the details just a little bit different, but the similarities are overwhelming. This is me. But another me from another reality, another dimension.

I realize this is all hard to believe. I know that it requires you to accept as fact that there are endless otherwheres and otherwhens and countless other yous out there. I was forced just then to use words that do not exist to try to get you to accept the existence of places that do exist but that you can not see or touch. If you cannot bring yourself to see the truth in all this, I cannot blame you. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to believe either.

But once I got past all that, and I accepted the fact that we are not alone, that the universe is populated with a multitude of other beings, and that this isn’t the only universe, I began to realize that being alone on our planet is much worse than being a part of a much larger family. And not only you, but each and every one of those beings out there around us also has their own endless version of themselves in other universes, universes quite like ours and universes so different that we would recognize not one bit of them.

It is that very endlessness that gives me hope. Because endlessness, by definition, never ends. And that means that we will never end, no matter what befalls us in this reality that is all that we know.

So believe or not as you choose, but the aliens will find us sooner or later. They will come and most of them will be friendly. And if some of them are not friendly, just know that somewhere out there is a man named Arthur who has a way of keeping bad things from happening.

I am fairly sure that I am not the only me to get a copy of this manuscript. That other me, the one around which this story centers, now has the ability to cross between realities. I think that he is giving the story to as many other hims, or us’s, as he can in his spare time. I am not entirely sure of his motives. It might be his way of telling us that momentous events are coming our way. But I suspect that the main reason he is doing it is that he just thinks it’s funny.

  1. H. Browne
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I swear we are almost done with the four-headed giraffe thing… the final chapter…

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This is one of my favorite filters in than free online website I am always trying to get you guys to use to spice up your blogs. It is called ‘groovy rainbow’, and is under the ‘animations’ menu.

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Yes, it turns my silly ‘four-headed giraffe with gratuitous ostrich heads’ picture into the closest approximation of growing up in the Berkeley side of the San Francisco Bay Area during the sixties and seventies that you can get from a free photo manipulation program… but it also works on your photos of your family, or vacation pictures.

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Once again, I am throwing in a few variations of this picture I did, with different backgrounds, just to highlight how the effects work in different ways on each picture you upload to ‘Lunapic.com’… which, once again, is free and very easy to use.

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Just go in there, upload a photo, and start playing with the menu options.

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Two or three clicks, and then you just download the new image right to your computer.

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And, just so you know, I am still doing these same things to those photos of the glass pieces I made at my glass blowing lessons.

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Because the only thing cooler than making art, is making the art into even more artsy art, am I right?

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Of course I am. My name is Art… and I am all art-side-of-the-brain.

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But look! Even without a fancy background, this is still a cool effect.

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Now, I am going to go stick all these on Facebook… to make my friends worry about my mental health.

 

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I swear we are almost done with the four-headed giraffe thing… part 3…

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Here are a few examples of what the ‘flame effect’ menu option in ‘Lunapic.com’ can do for… or too… your photos.

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And, as you can see by the unaltered version of each picture I am posting below the altered version, you never know what any of the effects will do to your photos.

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I don’t work for Lunapic. I get nothing by suggesting you visit their website and try playing around with some of your photos in there. Or your artwork.

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I just think everybody should upload some stuff into it, and play around.

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I know that I started off with a fairly interesting piece of art to begin with. But this all works just as well on any picture. Look how the chain link fence in that one actually looks like it is getting heated up by the flames.

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Try putting a bad selfie of your own face in there, and see what happens.

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Open all the menus and play with all the options in them.

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What do you have to lose?

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I swear we are almost done with the four-headed giraffe thing… part 2…

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You could make something like that… if you wanted too…

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I mean, yeah, I went to the trouble of going into Photoshop and making a four-headed giraffe thing, to which I added four hippo heads and a tie dye background, among other backgrounds. You probably wouldn’t start off by doing that.

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But the ‘Neon effect’, you could totally do that… to any picture you have on your computer. And you could do a bunch of other cool things too. It is all on a free program called Lunapic.com

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It is free and fast and easy. You just go there, upload any image… (it does help if you make the image a 72 dpi image that isn’t too big)… and then go to the menus and have some fun.

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Maybe your blog doesn’t need this kind of flashiness, but you could amaze your friends on Facebook by doing some cool stuff to the photos you have already shared.

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All the effects work on pictures of people, or cities, or whatever. Just sayin’.

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I swear we are almost done with the four-headed giraffe thing… part 1…

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I guess, technically, this is the four-headed giraffe, four-headed hippo thing…

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I added a few backgrounds.

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You know, just for fun.

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And next, I am going to do the artistic filter effects with each of these in turn. Because I am still trying to get all of you to try going to that free program and doing this stuff with your photos.

Then, we have the one with the ostrich heads to deal with. HA!

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If you don’t know what this is, go back and read the first post in the series… part 10…

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But at least I moved on to using cool filter effects on photos of the stuff I made at my second glass blowing class… HA!

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There is one good thing about driving my daughter to the train station at 5:45 in the morning…

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We get to see the sun rise over San Diego. I mean, it is good to spend a little more time with her, but that is undercut by the fact that she is going back to college.

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But I do like a nice sunrise.

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Also, I like to do cool, artistic filters on some of my photos…

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So I am throwing in a few of those…

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You know, as a bonus…

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Because… why not?

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That’s just how I roll.

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Not bad for cell phone pics.

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Two of my newest creations from my glass blowing class…

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I have finished the classes for now. Here are two of my latest pieces of art… or pieces of Art, as it were.

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I did not take a picture of the vase I made for my older daughter… the one who got me my first glass blowing lesson for Father’s Day… because she reads the blog now and then, and she is getting it for Christmas. But here is my fire bowl, and a new vase I made that matches the decor of our remodeled house. Hopefully, my wife will let me keep it… in the house… instead of the garage, where most of my art ends up. I am giving it to her for Christmas… but she doesn’t read the blog. HA!

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I am very excited about the fire bowl. I was getting too caught up in the vases.

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I think the colors really worked. You can see the colors I used in that last post, the one about how glass blowing is done. I like the shape too. My very first bowl. I had to hang the gathering rod straight down, and twirl it really fast, to let the weight of the hot glass widen the bowl shape out.

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And the simple, gray and white scheme on the little vase should work in our house.

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And I tried something new on the top edge of the vase too.

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Instead of pulling the edge out into leaf shapes like I have been doing, I pulled out less neck, and then used the tongs to do a rounded-off, square lip. Sort of simple, yet a little elegant, if I do say so myself.

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All in all, I loved learning yet another form of artistic expression. And, as always happens with my all-art-side-of-the-brain brain, I could have gone off in a million directions.

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But I am seriously considering taking a ceramics class next.

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Some pictures from my third… and final… glass blowing class… the final chapter…

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How do you add colors to glass? Well, it turns out that you roll the hot glass in various chemicals and compounds, and then melt them into it.  The colors stretch and move as the glass is worked. Here we see the colors I laid out for my ‘flame bowl’ project. I will show you a picture of the finished flame bowl later on today.

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But this is what it looked like before we finished shaping it. This is also a good picture of some of the many tools associated with glass work. We are rounding the glass in the big wooden ladle. Below is a big, flat piece of wood I called ‘the pizza spatula’, used for flattening the bottoms of things that need to be flattened on the bottom. There are the tongs, or tweezers, that come in all sizes, used for much of the shaping. There are also a pair of snips that can do lots of interesting things. These are just a few of the many tools that can be used.

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Here is my teacher, Megg, gathering some more glass glass onto my biggest project. She is dripping off the extra glass into a water bucket.

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I wish I could afford a bunch more lessons, so I could experiment with dribbling glass onto other glass. I had so many ideas, and so little time.

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I forget why she was doing this instead of me. Maybe I let her do it so I could take the pictures.

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There is a good shot of the cooling fountain, where water is used to cool down the gathering rod.

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Okay, I shared those just for fun. I took three quick pictures with my phone, right in a row. The phone tried to adjust for the bright glow, and all three pictures came out just a little different.

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I don’t know if I actually explained glass working and glass blowing in a way that gave you an idea of how it works. I was lucky enough, a few years ago, to go to Venice and see the glass workers in shops that were hundreds of years old. Maybe you can Google some videos if you want to know more.

Later on, I will post the photos of my newest glass pieces.

 

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If you don’t know what this is, go back and read the first post in the series… part 9…

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Oh yeah…

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Still doing weird filter effects with my glass blowing projects…

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Because I can…

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Making art into other kinds of art.

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