I want to break the all-time record for the most comments on a WordPress blog post.
*** PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS POST ***
Okay, some of you will see this as a shallow attempt on my part to bump up my stats.
And I’m not saying you are wrong.
But here’s the thing… oh, thing, I missed you, where have you been?
I have always said that I have the best commenters on WordPress. I have two posts that have over 1,000 comments on them… True, half of those are my return answers to comments, because I always answer my comments, but still… And I will even go so far as to admit that my comment sections… OUR comment sections… are sometimes the funniest part of my posts. Are you happy now?
But this all has me wondering what the record for number of comments on one post actually is. I want to see if we can break it. Just for the fun of it. We will all be part of a social media experiment. We will all go down in the history books as record breakers. We can amaze and astound the WordPress overlords and maybe have them take notice of us.
And it will be fun.
Oh, and I am a little disappointed that only one person even commented on that cute picture of me as a baby in the last post I did, so here is your chance to make it up to me…
Pouring My Art Out 
I am doing as I was told.
I can’t ask more than that, can I?
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Here’s one question! What is wrong with humans? I just learned (national geographic) that some Canadian has come up with a wonderful plan to save the caribou. Fit a captured wold with a tracking collar, release him and follow him back to the pack where you can kill them all from the safety of a helicopter! Um, I’m pretty sure wolves are endangered. How is this an acceptable response? How about protecting their environment?
No offense to any of my dear Canadian friends, clearly they are not personally responsible any more than I am for the whack decisions the good ole USA makes. It really is more of a human question than a political or geographical one
People really hate wolves.
Where. Is. Everyone????????
That is the question.
Here! 🖐🏻! So excited to see Trent AND X! Eeeeeeeeeeeee!
Julie! Julie Julie Julie!
…ooo000ooo… I will leave you three alone… sigh…
Oh yeah!
Dude dude dude… I should do this post as a podcast, reading comment threads!!!!!!!!!
I’ve been sucked into this amazing rabbit hole…
Keep the dream alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make random comments to anyone who catches your eye. Go crazy!
you just said what I was thinking
Don’t worry, I do that to everybody.
you just did it again
I know.
made me laugh
We might turn this into a book… but editing it is going to be difficult.
I like this book. editing will ruin it and I hate editing
So I should just copy and paste it, and let people sort it out themselves.
it’s a strange, wonderful place, Poet. All manner of people show up here – so happy to see you. the proprietor is a guy named Art, and he is quite a prodigious fellow. Art, the Poet is one of the finest writers I’ve seen. Spins magic.
Three writers walk into a bar…
Ouch?
Moo!
Have you become a cow? I always pictured you with spots on your behind.
I have one big spot… right in the middle of my behind… and it can stretch to a remarkable degree.
I’m not sure I know what to say, but I’m strangely weirdly intrigued.
As well you should be.
wait… he is one of the finest writers… and I am ‘prodigious’???
Poet is a she! And quite a writer she is. Check her out. And yes you are prodigious in all the right ways.
I am just a word slut…
i’m just a slut…
sapiosexuality is a fascinating well to wallow in….it keeps me committed to my ironic celibacy…..also spurs my other commitment to deliberately put words that don’t belong together into sensual sentences and not use punctuation
ps: I just created a mouth watering apple crumble
wait… what is this ‘punctuation’ of which you speak… do you mean the three little dots I constantly add for no apparent reason at all…
ps: fuck spelling too!
exactly! my daughter said
… adds suspense
I like suspense…
Then I should probably tell you…
what!!!!!!!! ??????? oh no….
oh yes…
Also, I now forgive Trent for his one-sided viewpoint… he is a lover of sensual sentences. Also of nude moose wrestling, calling bacon the wrong name, and seducing himself shamelessly on this comment post.
he seduces himself shamelessly?
I like him even more now
I mean, yeah, shamelessly… not with the the gut-wrenching sexuality and non-ironic romantically expressive mood that I managed to achieve, but sure, who doesn’t like Trent?
I don’t know … I pick up SOMETHING along the lines of ‘gut wrenching’
I don’t know those people who don’t like Trent
When I first saw his strange attempt at self-seduction on the comment post, my guts were severely wrenched, as the contents of my stomach sought to immediately abandon the area of my pelvis. I also wrenched my back, trying to swivel my chair around before the words were indelibly seared into my brain.
I need an example of what you are speaking of. I just feel seduced, I am not sure exactly what by
I think we both left glaring examples of self-love/loathing on the comment post, but I leave it to you to track them down… and compare them, if you must. If you are feeling energetic, you might type a few comments to random people in there to see if we can revive the weekend binge parties we used to have in there. I wouldn’t mind getting to 1,000,000,000 comments. Or you could begin the arduous task of figuring out how we can edit the strands into one coherent book. That is the other plan.
oh my god
I do have a life
well .. I could leave a random comment …after I eat my toasted cheese sandwich
I freekin’ love toasted cheese sandwiches. Also, that was more or less of a joke, but if I could trick someone into even having an idea of where to start an editing process for that swamp, that would be cool. Also, I do not suggest that you visit the comment post for my own benefit. Everyone should go there. You can vent, you can rant and rave, make friends, make points, make mischief, make waves, make someone’s day, make declarations and proclamations, make a fuss, make a scene, make a fool of yourself… or someone else, make suggestions, make mountains out of molehills, make this a better world, make up your mind, make a commitment, make a decision, and even make a place for yourself in history. Hell, you can even make a grilled cheese sandwich. As far as I know, nobody has shared recipes in here, so make my day and make a meal!
Oh, I am going to copy and paste that into a post to lure more people in here.
I was going to say, make yourself a whole new post!
A toast post??? Also, you have moved me… I have had a movement! I am moved to write a poem later today, free-form, flowing from the inner most reaches of my shallowness!
wait… sapiosexuality… that is all humanity, right? Or all intelligent life forms? Aliens? I am intrigued and confused. I might just have to come and visit you.
What is Sapiosexuality? According to Merriam-Webster, sapiosexual literally means, “sexually attracted to highly intelligent people.” Unlike other people who may simply like smart guys or girls, a sapiosexual may find intelligence sexually arousing
in my case, specifically words, the way they are used and played with and pushed to their limits
Trent is a word king
my word king
Trent sprays his words with the consummate professionalism, startling sensuality, and unerring aim usually seen only in the money shots of high-budget porn films.
oh my god you adore him as much as I do, but we are not in competition for his attention …are we?
He helped me by editing one of my novels. If that isn’t some sort of love relationship, I don’t know what is. Although twice he has been within 100 miles of me, and managed to slither away without meeting me in person.
fear of intimacy? often found in writers/poets and the like… well anyone who gets more pleasure out of words than the mouths that speak them
Oh, I have met some pretty nice mouths in my time. I just don’t know what to do with them if no good words ever come out of them. I can’t do the obvious thing, because I can’t rise to the occasion for a one-way mouth.
one way mouth ~ good title
Good name for a punk/ska/bagpipe band!
Also, I do not fear intimacy. I just have lofty standards before subjecting myself or anyone else to it. Also, people sort of scare me, which is not the same thing at all.
no not at all
I understand
people can be scary
It is almost like they try to be.
haha imagine that , it is all big Truman show and people are being scary on purpose in all sorts of psychotically nuanced ways
Or they are too self-absorbed to know how scary they are, which is scary in its own way.
you said that beautifully by the way
Thank you, milady!
Family blog!
How do you think I started a family-friendly blog.
Um… no comment.
yup
Wait, I have a comment. A recipe actually. Green eggs and ham. You merely blend eggs with spinach and then put them in a pan. They become very Seussian. The ham? Haven’t figured that out yet.
I should repost my letter from Shakespeare to Sam I Am again….
Do it!
ok
I just posted a comment and I don’t see it. It’s the world’s first stealth comment!
I am a sneaky bastard.
Oh, it is visible. A very unstealthlike stealth comment, I must say.
The order appears to be random.
A new – random – world order?
I like the sound of that.
I don’t, I guess. Not until I get to number the new world order.
My new world order should ship next Tuesday.
I guess you should already have it by now.
It has to pass through a lot of states…
State of anger, state of confusion, state of shock…
state of disrepair, consciousness, the union, your claim, your intentions, your name, and Alabama.
That’s a very long trip. I would not be surprised if your new world order gets stolen on the way, probably in Alabama
Right off my front porch. What a state the world is in.
And, uh, if you say so.
Or did I say so?
You said you’re a sneaky bastard… You mean it wasn’t actually you who said it? Oh you’re a sneaky bastard!
I can neither confirm nor deny that I said I was… or wasn’t a sneaky bastard
Who, but a sneaky bastard, would be so vague about being or not being a sneaky bastard?
Who indeed, if, indeed, that bastard was indeed sneaky.
Or that sneaky was indeed a bastard
Oh, we all knew that… or is he?
We may never know. He could be a mysterious bastard.
yeah he is
So not that mysterious then
or is it?
Now we’re talking
yeah we are
But about what?
That is above my pay grade.
For which of your jobs, though?
The one I can’t tell you about.
Or you will have to kill me? But then who would add the comments herem
I would never kill you, but I did think you said: comment harem… which we really need.
I don’t remember saying anything about “comment harem”, but now I am really fascinated. Can you please elaborate?
You had a typo, that wasn’t quite that, but almost.
Is comment harem even legal in this country?
Only if you are a Mormon Satrap.
Is Mormon Satrap someone who keeps a harem of other Mormons?
I don’t think they are that specific.
Leave it to X to invent new technology. Hey can we get a top ten list of why my ass hurts? I mean, theoretically speaking.
Theoretically, I could write a list, but practically, you need to consult a practologist
I was afraid you might say that. So much for the healing power of words.
Use the healing power of turds
Words don’t heal. If they did, politicians would be the healthiest people in the world.
I think it has to be good, true words.
The best words, most tremendous words ever!
sigh
a cracktologist
Since a proctologist does study the butt crack area, this name is also very appropriate.
That is what I figured… also, funny.
Not quite as funny for the patient
Unless it is Trent
He’s probably not that patient.
He is patient zero
With zero patience
So it has been said.
And done?
I didn’t do it.
That’s exactly what a sneaky bastard would say.
Or would he?
He definitely would, he would just be very sneaky about it
Or just be not sneaky, which is even sneakier than being sneaky.
There’s no limit to sneakiness
I intend to find out if there is.
There’s not. After you think you’ve reached the maximum sneakiness, someone goes and does some more sneaky stuff.
But can that someone be me???
You never know. That’s the sneakiest part
So far.
Also, he is practicing to be his own proctologist
You have to have a very flexible schedule and everything for that.
And some slightly-used equipment.
Barely even opened, just a crack.
He also has cracked lips.
And likes to crack wise.
He’s not refusing to Trent. Kinda like R Kelly and his court appearances, he hasn’t “refused “ to attend, he just doesn’t!
ha
Refusing to do things is extra work.
uh…?
I’m just running up the comment count here
1. Overuse
Hey… Is this thing on?
It is now! We are getting the band back together.
Band is not enough, you need a whole stadium for this.
I wish
Ok, then a club but with a full participation by everyone.
I do like full participation!
And those who do not participate will get clubbed
well… yeah
Art, I gotta ask – have you lost it? That crazy appeal has worn off? Where is everyone? Your link totally worked but only Matticus has shown up. We all love Matticus but we need volume yo.
I don’t know about you or Matticus, but I do have the volume.
sweeeeeet
Well, I would like to lose some of the volume.
Turn it up to 11!!!
11 cubic feet? I don’t have nearly as much volume.
How about in cubits?
Is there a cubic cubit?
there must be
What about a cubic cubit cubed?
cubit zirconium
That sounds expensive
And they only come in one size.
I don’t even remember what we’re talking about here
I think we started off with me being sneaky and segued into plays on words… maybe.
Oh, you know, the usual stuff.
Because we do not do the usual stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we don’t do the usual stuff usually?
No, we usually do the unusual stuff, which makes it the usual unusual stuff, so it is really the usual stuff… unusually.
Makes total senseless sense.
There is no sense in wasting time trying to make sense, I always say!
But a comment is a comment is a comment, right?
I can’t comment on that.
You already did.
Or did I?
Or did you not do?
I did not not do, but I did perhaps not do the not doing, which means I may indeed have done the doing by not doing the not doing.
Oh, you did indeed did the deed, didn’t you?
The deed was done, and filed beside the deed to my house and my list of good deeds that I hope to get around to one day, if indeed the deeds are needed by those in need of a deed. But greed might succeed in causing the seed of the good deed to go unheeded and unseeded, because those who are treated to be good-deeded get stampeded and then retreated.
X! Bring the volume baby! But not that gross kind of volume. The other stuff. You know, minions. Got any of those?
You mean like Voluminions?
That is a lovely word. I’m proud to think of myself as a Voluminion. God knows I don’t bring quality or substance to the table… but volume? I got that covered.
I think you brought a substance to the table at least once.
And weren’t you also the Head Minion at some point?
In abstentia… wait… how do you spell that?
In ostentia?
maybe… it is when you try someone who isn’t there… kind of like Trent did.
That sounds very unconstitutional
he has a poor constitution
It’s a Canadian one, and obviously every red-blooded American knows that Canadian Constitution is eh.
And Canadian geese have the nastiest crap of any animal on the planet.
Bullshit! What about bullshit!?
What about mooseshit?
I think you’re supposed to say, “aboot mooseshit” in Canadian
It is not international speak and act like a Canadadadian day!!!
When is the international speak and act like a Canadian day? Are Canadians too polite to tell us when to celebrate?
They forget because they get to act and speak like Canadians all year long!
And don’t want to impose their Canadianness on the others?
They are much to polite.
Too polite for their own good. We should invade them
Would serve them right.
I forgot about that… to be honest, the pay was a little on the bad side, and the esteemed leader had some very odd requests.
Even if your pay was low, you might have made a ton of money since then. Check you Secret Underground Volcano Lair Credit Union account.
shhhhh… I didn’t tell him about that, or he would go wild spending it on syrup and moose rides.
Which would be a bad idea. You don’t to find yourself glued to a moose with maple syrup during the moose mating season.
or do you
I like my maple syrup moose-free
I like my moose syrup-free.
Do you like your moose well-done, medium, or rare?
I like a rare moose… like an albino or a pygmy.
I am moose-tolerant. I like mooses of all colors and sizes
I was moose intolerant, but I buy the special lactose free moose, and I can eat as much as I want.
Not me, I think lactose is the best part of a moose.
I am sure they love that about you.
I feel like that’s an unrequited feeling, possibly on both sides.
That is the saddest kind of love.
very odd requests… in that I had to keep telling him his requests were denied.
voluminous voluptuous voluminions!
All completely voluntary
That speaks volumes.
But sounds flat
But it is really sharp.
…ooo000ooo…
I am telling you, wordpress is dying.
It’s been dying for a long time. I wonder what their stats tell them. Anyway the blog honeymoon is over. Now it’s beer at the kitchen table and endless awkward fumblings under a moldy comforter, in the hopes of staying relevant when the morning breaks like a cold diseased fart.
I might start a podcast…
I’d check it out.
yay
Also, what can I do when I post about it, and I get a bunch of likes but no visitors???
They’re called bots, my man. The bots will prevail. When we’re all gone, they will be fornicating on the decrepit ruins of our tired, debilitated bodies, ending in a bot-orgy that will involve much cranking and crunching. Also, some light kink.
I like the sound they make when they bang together… ha… oh man… I kill me…
The bot’ll take care of that for you.
I want nanobots inside me
I hereby declare that the Comment post is reopened for business. Please post craziness in order to keep myself, Trent Lewin, amused. Also, prepare your best barbs for the creator of this strange and wonderful blog post. He is always watching us. Always.
Oh hi. I’m new here. You sound like a good chap, Trent. Nice to meet you!
Well hi – yes, I am a very nice chap. Also quite handsome and manly. Slide over, my friend. Put your bosom next to mine and let’s see what happens.
Oh my! I’m blushing! I’m a little shy, Trent. Can we take things a little slow?
Pucker up, baby.
Oh my heart! You’re such a good kisser! But please, it’s a little early in our relationship to be fondled like this!
So you say…. but I can’t help but notice that you’ve just removed all your clothes.
He arrived that way
Put that thang away! There are minions amoungst us! Oh wait. We be the minions… never mind. Carry on.
Yes we are minions. Art, come visit!
Only the best minions for me!
I suppose this is how new minions are made… eeeew
There you are, ladies and jellyfish, the only human on the planet that plays hard-to-get with himself. Sometimes, it takes him three weeks, a box of chocolates, 4 dates and a dozen roses just to get to first base… with himself.
But then he totally puts out. He’s such a floozy! Hey, no I’m not! Yes you are! No way man!
You are… he is… he does… and so does he!
Shhhhh… stuff is happening in here. Do not disturb.
Put a sock on the door handle… or just lock it!
I am not going near your socks. Or your door handles.
What about my love handles???
That’s a different matter…
Mind over matter, will make the Pooh unfatter
And he means pucker every part of your body that can possibly be puckered…
Trent don’t do slow.
Don’t put your bosoms anywhere near each other’s… this is a family blog!
I may have to do a post reminding people this is here.
S’about time.
Well, it has been pretty dead in here. since you left.
I didn’t go no where. Whatcha talking about? I return occasionally and I think I once calculated that about three thousand of the comments in here are from me! Cause I rock!
I am not guilting, just observating.
Hey I got stuff to write ya know. I just finished a novel. I have no idea if it’s any good but between a hefty full time job, a large number of kids, and a total addiction to beer nuts, I only have so much time. I know you know what I mean by that. It’s easy to let the time slip and not do what you want to. Easy to get distracted with fun things. But shit is getting serious now yo.
I am working on two new novels, and my head wants to pop
Yeah well you rattle them out, I can’t. I get two hours a week to write, max, and I have to make every minute count.
I have less free time than you think
Yah yah but I’ve done a line-by-line edit for a book of yours and left about ten million comments on this site… I dun my part, man. I dun my part.
I know, and that is why I lust after you constantly.
Lust after me in person ! I’m in Carlsbad right now on the way back to Irvine. Gorgeous place you got here.
That is right near Legoland! How long are you here??? I have tonight and tomorrow off.
I’m leaving Thursday morning. I’m in Irvine right now, at the hotel not far from the Spectrum. You’re more than welcome to join for a drink. I’m just having a sip with a work colleague right now.
Oh, Irvine is a little farther… let me see what the wife says. will you have free time?
It would be late before I could get up there tonight, but what about tomorrow? I emailed you.
I am willing to drive for a few hours to have a drink with you. Check your emails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That guy is a perv… and a sick genius.
You haven’t begun to see the sick.
I have gotten a start.
Gross.
shhh… I’m busy
Did you have a convo with yourself?
That’s amazing.
And wonderful.
And very Trenty of you.
I don’t know why this didn’t show up in Trent’s thread. My phone is goofing up.
Alas.
Alas, poor Yorik
Did you know him? Is your name Hamlet? Wait… Am I Horatio?
Horatio Hornblower?
Hornblower cruises?
He sure does!
That’s cool. I mean since the water is cool…
It ought to be.
He invented the shameless self-seduction!
He’s good at things like that… And writing… Which is basically the same thing.
That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard on this comment thread. And that includes the delicate, often-misunderstood art of self-seduction.
I am a jester after all. Or I used to be. Or what were we talking about?
It’s so hard to tell what you’re talking about in here… everything gets muddled. But beware! A certain overlord is always watching. His gaze is as steely as the crust that has developed in his underwear from being stationary so long.
Art? Nah. He’s too busy pissing off spiders by spraying water at their webs.
Um, I don’t think that’s water that he’s spraying….
You’re probably right. He says it’s water but … We can’t really know. And likely don’t want to.
Can I go ‘wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ now?
Absolutely!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Are you spraying again? Why’s it make that noise? Do you have an extra hole or something?
I have 6 extra holes… you humans are so limited.
And directly on them too, so…
Poor spiders!!!
Don’t let ’em fool you.
They are very very sneaky, it’s true.
yup
I’m being stalked by spiders this summer. I had an orb Weaver on me earlier this week.
I walked into a few of the big ones.
That is my skin!
Which part?
the best part. the outside part. the moist part.
jesticulating?
there is no misunderstanding at all… or Mr. understanding.
I don’t get it. I really don’t.
That is why we adore you… stay innocent, and simple!
Who you calling simple???
You, you are a ton of simple… a simple-ton
HA!
Hah!
yeah ha
Yippee!!
…ooo000ooo…
I am ridiculously good at cozying up to myself.
It is a level of self-centeredness… and self-gratificationalism, that I have only dreamed of.
Dream big, baby. Like really big.
I am all dream and no alarm clock.
Yeah… not sure what was happening there, but it was fun and somewhat hot.
Some like it hot.
Hot and bothered.
That’s the way we like it.
you forgot the uh huh uh huh… that’s the way uh huh uh huh, we like it, uh huh uh huh
I left it for you to do.
Well, I did.
somewhat…
Hello Arthur! Its Nisha! I miss you very much and still wanna meet your puppers soon! email me or message me back on Fb! talk you soon!
Send me your email… I think my wife made me make my facebook private.
nisha.holmes1216@gmail.com
I will send you an email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nert! Nert! Tnert! Hellooooo!
He shows up now and then.
Oy! I’m only a year late, Julie! But I’m here. Where you at? Art? Is there an Art hereabouts?
You can’t expect a lady to hang around waiting forever.
I can too!
Sure, like you can believe in the tooth fairy. Nobody is stopping you.
You’re always stopping me! Stop stopping me! Julie, Julie! Where are you, Julie! Save me!
stop
Never!
Does that mean you are back? Don’t toy with my emotions, sexy boy!
Just finding a bit more time for hanging around in my favourite places. Not fully back by any means.
How many means are there???
Art you know as well as anybody there are many many means!. You should probably stop stopping Tnert. Hahahahaha. I’m here! 👋🏻
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oy are you around Julie? Art alerted me to the presence of someone important in here… just read down this thread and saw something from you just below. 44,680 comments! It’s like a novel in here! How are you doing? Where you been at? Come visit!
indeed
We need more Julie in our lives. Plus a good round of comments on the comment blog. I miss this place.
There you go
Oh Trent! Yay! We’re here! At almost the same time!
Yes! That makes me happy.
Pretty sure you just made yourself happy.
Extremely.
We all love a happy ending!
Family blog!
We need to enlarge the family!… wait… eeeew
Um, are you hitting on me? There was another guy in here doing that too, and he was a lot cuter than you!
But he doesn’t have my guitar-playing fingers, my poetic soul, my dreamy, lust-filled eyes, and my sexy legs… so…
Yeah but he has the virtue of looking strangely-familiar…
Hey, I would totally sleep with myself if I could.
You need to do a photo post of that…
I could just make a porno.
I would stream the shit out of that.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Actually I just flirted with myself on the comment thread. It was a little odd but I’m sure it’s not going to be the last time. Also, you should visit my blog and read the latest post, I kinda want some assurances that I’m not totally crazy. I don’t write stuff like that very often.
I can neither confirm nor deny your craziness.
Yeah but at least I’m hot.
I second that.
Well, it is summer.
I don’t like summer. Shut up and kiss me.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… smack
Schmack! Oh yeah, the schmack returns!
It has always been here… in my… uh… heart?
That’s a weird place for a schmack.
Keep it in the shack.
Don’t get sucked into this string, you are too good of a human!
Commented as requested. 🙂
YAY!!!
My comment is muted silence.
And yet, I can see it… the supreme irony! Thank you, sir.
I read your story ….. The Seven Kingdoms ….. well at least the first part …. what’s next?
Editing. I am looking for volunteer editors who will work for a free, signed copy of the book and some recognition on the blog… because I’m broke, and have no real job. Then, I try to sell the book, after self-publishing… for the same reasons.
If I say No Comment, is that a comment? Or is that not a comment? Or perhaps a metacomment on the state of commenting? Hmmm
It is a tongue-in-cheek, slightly cynical, severely sarcastic, irreverently ironic, semi-satirical commentary on commenting, made only a little less effective by the fact that you followed it up with multiple comments phrased as questions. HA!
Well, nobody’s perfect. 😀
I like to think that everybody who stumbles onto my blog is absolutely perfect!!!
Yeah, I know I was just practicing some fake humility.
That is the only kind I recognize.
I think this post is commentable …. and recommentable
Thanks so much.
Love the skeleton pic! Good reminder…it’s a temporary situation. A little grim, but hey, with all the GRIM “…really GREAT, it’s going to be really GREAT…” reaping going on in the halls of govern – ring…still a good reminder, if you get my drift?
I know drift… and drifting… and driftyness… HA!
Drifty…
oh yeah… that too… ha!
Drifty is one of my favorite words. (Hmmm. I wonder why?)
We used it all the time back in the 70’s. I like it too.
Oh yeah…
This is a new and interesting one for you! Happy to contribute!
With my memory, everything is new… thanks.
Haha! I know that feeling!
Yup… wait… what were we talking about???
Dunno… Trump?
eeeeew…
Oh- maybe not. Maybe it was dung, that’t how I’m getting confused! 😀
Hard to tell the difference
Nearly impossible! I think Trump stinks more lol
to say the least
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Alright. I’ve seen evidence of my buddy’s being here. I have 2 days left of vacation before I go back to my full time part time job. Not having much success in the replacement of the full time job , but getting pretty annoyed with one of the job boards that sends me open positions. Just this morning I got notified of a position, an “excellent fit” that was posted hours ago, as opposed to days ago, and when I went to apply got a notice the posting was closed 3 hours ago. Grrrr.
you gotta love modern life.
I’d love a job that could pay the bills. I don’t need to be crazy rich, but I would like to pay the bills AND feed my family….
Me too… and I would really like it if I didn’t hate the job.
Hello my crazies! I can always count on a good laugh when I visit here! Still working too hard for not nearly enough monies…. clearly I need to check in here more often. Where’s that head minion?
He died of loneliness when you went away…
NO!!!!! SAY IT AINT SO!
No… he is alive… he is just making himself scarce… pining away.
Over here!!!!!!!!!!! Julie Julie Julie!
Desperation becomes you.
It does indeed.
It’s the thin sheen of perspiration.
That’s entirely possible. Julie is the good sort. We need more of those! Come back Julie Julie Julie! Maybe I’ll break my hermitage.
Did you notice the comment count on this crazy thing now?
It is crazy. And very likely a record.
And you helped pull it off… uh… so to speak.
I’m here! Jumping up and down waving, what am I invisible… Oh yeah. I’m Canadian.
It is all about the timing. Or you could just wait here for her forever…
Time is a funny thing, and forever just funnier still b
And yet nothing is funny forever.
Me too Trent! Me too!
Yeah, Trent… her too…
Jump higher!
hey now
Hey did you ever break that world record?
Nobody is actually keeping track of this record, not wordpress, not the people at Guinness World Record’s… but we are pretty sure this is the most commented on blog post not put up by a celebrity. We just do it for fun now.
Hi,
I am a blogging tips coach. I am all for social experiments. And then I blog about them. If you ever want to write about your experiment, let me know. I love to publish case studies.
Janice
I have done a bunch of posts explaining how this came about. Feel free to use any of them.
The link works! Hallelujah!!!! The computer moron is dead, long live the computer moron.
yeah… long…
I have the most amazing feeling of deja vu whenever I come here.
I get the feeling of nausea…
I think that is from the election. Not from Art.
You may well be right, but he’s not my president; we have Theresa May to send us off up the swanny!
I’m there with you!
I wonder when this comment post book is published, and becomes the classic work of literature it undoubtedly deserves to be, if historians of the future look back at it and say; “There were actually people who didn’t believe that trump and may could make the world as beautiful as it is today.”
Or there will be aliens on other planets who will point to the black hole where Earth once was and say — “Pay attention to whom you elect. Don’t let this happen to us.”
Or trump and may will meet and fall in love, and decide running countries isn’t for them, and disappear into a pacific island love nest.
And then can we blow it up?
Just to be on the safe side? Yes we can! We don’t want any little maytrumps escaping…
we don’t even want any little trump’s escaping to make little maytrumps
Worse than letting out a little trump in a lift…elevator…
and the circle ends…
Ahhhh…
uh… Trump can blow it up from here if he wants to.
Or drag England over beside America…
That’s just crazy talk dammit!!!!
Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a crazy man!
oh man
That would be loverly
It would
wou’t’n’t’ it?
Wooden tit?
My least favorite bird… and third least favorite prosthetic…
Ha!
yeah, ha
I’ve posted; do you still not get notifications?
let me check
It doesn’t show up in my reader anymore… sob…
Is it the Cohen one? I don’t see a pig post…
It’s the Cohen one, the pig is on hiatus!
Well, I loved that post… even without a pig.
You have to sing it aloud when you read it!
I did… because that is a beautiful song.
I tried ‘joining’ again
It seems it just don’t like you…
nobody really does… sigh…
Oh behave.
oh bee hive
Oh dog kennel
oh rabbit warren
Oh Warren Beatty
oh War n’ peasy
Oh worn n creaky
Old, worn and creaky is how I feel, Snow White and creepy
I am somewhere… with somebody… maybe…
Wait until we invade you for your chip-cooking oil.
Do you not have hair products of your own?
We have Twinkies to deep fry!!!
No one likes a boaster.
what about a roaster… or a toaster…
I don’t think chickens are too keen on the former, and don’t even mention the latter to a slice of bread…
what about a boaster and a roller coaster?
I’ve anyway spoken about the former and again, chickens ain’t too keen on roller coasters
glad we cleared that up
It is because the minions haven’t been cleaning up in here.
Omg. I read erection. Not election…..
HA… that is what makes this place so fun.
Hahahaha
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
That is the remnants of my old head minion, Mr. Trent Lewin.
Where the hell is that man?!
He wants to have a real life
I knew he was a little bit eccentric, but that’s bordering on lunacy…
Yeah… being here is better than real life
True dat, I believe to be the colloquial parlance.
the colloquial continental paralance indeed… uh… I mean: word, yo!
or be a real boy… like Pinocchio… or something
That makes more sense.
then I must be slipping
Mind your head
mind your manners
Mind the gap
Mind the door
But the door’s a jar!!!!
And the lamp post is a Popsicle… what’s your point.
My point happens to be a Louis XIV chandelier.
wouldn’t that be ‘Louis XIV’s ‘?
No, it didn’t belong to him personally, I would’ve sold my point years ago!
oh… I see…
welcome home!!!
Due to a misprint in a Gibber Jabberin post I’m writing for tomorrow, I have to leave this comment, in order to get your count up to 44,495. It’s either that or admit I made a mistake and then correct the post. And as a graduate of Trump University, I can never make a mistake.
I can accept that from you… not from him.
Damn, now it’s at 44,496! I’m suing Trump.
the system IS rigged!!!
What kind of comment am I supposed to leave if I don’t know what to say? The weird thing is I’m usually not at a loss for words. Maybe I could start rambling about how I don’t know what I should say. That’ll work. Wait a minute. That’s exactly what I’m doing now. The thoughts in my head are going directly to the keyboard and from there to the screen. HELP! MY HANDS ARE POSSESSED!
Giver me back my crack squirrel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, scroll down and read some of the comments here… it is a freak show
Even though I’m not new, here is another comment just because.
You are the only one who ever listens. Thanks.
We’re always new to Arthur…it’s an age thing.
Yes… and it’s good to meet both of you…
Half past seven, dear.
Mind the pedestrian, Richard!
The bouquet residence, the lady of the house speaking!!!
That is pronounced ‘Bucket’
Only a real toff kicks the bouquet.
I am very toffee
I thought you guys called it taffy…
toffee it hard and crunchy, taffy is soft and stretchy
Well now I know.
I am here to enlighten.
You lighten the whole alphabet.
It now weighs 43% less!
Ha ha!
har-de-har-har
I love the comments on my own blog and answer each one. To that end, i support any blogger who does the same. Hope you get your record number of comments! (You got one more follower out of me, thanks to your skittles/racist post!)
I have a few other racist posts back down there somewhere that I am pretty proud of… but thanks, and I am honored.
Hi there, I’m a follower and I love your posts! You add laughter to my day and a spring to my step as I think of psychedelic pigs and the Hughmanatee! Thought I’d help you towards you goal. Good luck and keep posting!
Thank you so much… you are now a part of history… sort of… maybe…
The art world is FUBAR! I blame the elite establishment in the ivory towers. It’s time to tear them down. We have to stop taxpayer’s money from going being wasted on more crap art.
uh… my crap art… and I do a lot of it… isn’t costing the taxpayers any money… just for the record… HA!!!
hahahaha mine too. Guess we don’t “know” the right people.
I hardly know any people… and I like very few of those…
good. we have something in common
as long as it is only one or two things… you should be fine…
You too, because I’m DOOMED! But good luck with your plan to get the most comments. And I hope you wish me good luck with my plan to overthrow the establishment and be known as the mother of the revolution in the art world. hahahahahah (insane laughter)
I don’t do art the same way as anybody else… so I do wish you luck with that…
I see. That’s good. If you enter contests you find out they want conformity. It’s another big waste of money. and the prize money goes to the judges friends, family, student, etc. So stay free of it if you can.
okey dokey
Tossing my two bits into the cup. Hope at least Guinness gets on board. And now, I’m suddenly thirsty. Good luck with your endeavor…and CHEERS!
Thanks so much!
This is my comment for the sake of making a comment and hopefully breaking the world commenting record. I secretly fancy Boris Johnson. Hope this helps your endeavour,
It might even help Boris Johnson’s endeavour… whatever that is…
After all the dodgy comments yesterday, I’m trying to convince the CIA I am not a half-crazed political vengeance-seeker. Now they’ll just think I’m half-crazed instead. Although, you know, I wouldn’t say no…
You have your own politicians to seek vengeance on…
They are not as awful as yours, would you believe. Anyway, the worst ones have buggered off it seems.
fine… you can borrow some of ours
Cheers, I appreciate that.
you’re welcome
First comment in July.
Also, is this the appropriate place to post proposed baby names?
That boat has sailed, but we can still do that
Oh it has been too long since visiting this record breaker! Have you managed to find out if this is in fact a record breaker?
we are pretty sure we are it!
I’d like to see a certificate of some kind really…one related to the record of course, not just your 20 metre breast stroke.
well, wordpress claims they don’t keep that one stat… and the Guinness world record people only have one of the blog with most comments, not the single post.
Well they wanna get their act together then! Do you have any idea how to get a record in the big book?
I have been in contact with them. They say they will let me know if they decide to do it.
What on earth is there to even consider?!?!
That is a good question.
I don’t just provide excellent answers you know…
I do know
I was thinking the exact same thing mr. Babbage….
JULIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ART!!!!!!! You haven’t forgotten me!
no I have not
Then you’re great too! But have you also been wondering about Zeno’s rabbit and hard paradox of late? coz that’s the real benchmark…
yeah… what he said…
Rabbit and hare…rabbit and hard is that other thing…
hard???
It’s all gone wrong…it was in fact the tortoise and hare paradox….it has been a long old week; I must tell Julie of my mistake, otherwise she’ll think I’m a right lunatic!!!
don’t want that… not here
Haw hare here…withnail and I…must see.
withorwithoutnail
You must have seen it…definitely withnail
hobnobbing withnail… hobnail!
You old boot
I got soul
I got halibut
better than halitosis…
Say that to the drain man…
wasn’t that a movie starring Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise?
Ha! Yes it was.
I figured as much
Who is Zeno, and why is his rabbit hard? Please explain mr. Babbage….
Some old Greek bloke, and his rabbit is hard due to the phenomenal weight training programme that Zeno puts him through.
The Greeks liked to give their rabbits a fighting chance…
And their chabbits a righting fance…
they were fancy with their fance, and rightly with their righting…
But they didn’t half chumble their cheroots!
their cheroots are are of ill repute… beyond dispute…
But they can shoot a hooting coot at fifty bloots…
I give this premise the boot…
I quite agree
…ooo000ooo…
There is no explaining him… go to his blog… oh man…
I do hope you spotted my deliberate mistake…because I didn’t…it was in fact the tortoise and hare (not hard; that’s the other thing) paradox, my most humble apologies, I must lay off the compost.
hares are hard… maybe
They’ve got to keep up with the rabbits somehow!
hop to it
Boing!
They make good airplanes…
And a very nice raspberry flan…
ummm…
You missed out the y on the front…
oh man…
Oh, that’s what I thought! I know all about the tortoise and the hare…. and the turtle and the hair. And chicken little. Since I lost my full time job last year, I have had to work full time hours at my part time job. The manager of my department is Chicken Little. She thinks there will not be another president of the United States, that we will elect a world leader. And that there will be a huge tsunami within 10 years that will take out about 40% of the United States. I bet she wears a tin foil hat when she’s outside so the aliens can’t take over her brain. Where was I?… Oh yes, and Henny Penny!
I have missed my friends!
This place is full of hares and turtles… but no chickens!
I do believe you do miss your friends, but you have a very astute and level headed department manager who yes, no doubt has a fine array of foil headgear, together with an emergency dinghy and a bunker full of tinned food, but that doesn’t mean living on higher ground can’t work for you; you’ll never meet an unhappy tor…
That fancy foreign talk won’t work on American ladies!!!
Now you’ve done us all a disservice there!
I know… but we Americans stand little chance against sexy foreign accents… so I was a little defensive…
It’s the ones with the guns I’d think twice about offending…hence my extremely flattering post about them…
I see
Eye sea
Aye si… also: icy
i c
s i c k
s i c k l e
s t i c k l e r
s t i c k l e b a c k e r
s t i c k e r b a c k i n g
g e s t i c u l a t o r b a r k i n g
t e s t i c u l a r b l o c k a g e p a r k i n g
Haha! I told her I was gonna tear down my house and put a big boat on my lot! Just to be prepared! She said it was a really good idea!
People should do that anyway, boat building is a dying art, and some other things that make knocking down your house and building a boat there a good idea…
I love boats
A monkey in a boat must blow your mind!
Better than that Indian kid who was in a boat with a tiger…
Most things are…
right
Are you expecting a flood, Noah?
Helping the cause! 😉 Good luck.
Thanks so much… I almost forgot this post was here!
🙂
over 40,000 comments so far huh?
It is sort of mind boggling, isn’t it? We might make this into a book someday…
maybe
editing will be a bitch…
Lol
yup
Might? Might make this into a book?? DO IT!! Best Book Ever!!
Editing would be a problem…
Generic comment designed to make you feel good, let you know my blog exists, and maybe even pique your curiosity enough to go look at it. A good filler for when there isn’t enough time or caffeine reserves to think of a meaningful comment.
I applaud both your forthrightness and the fact that you have a plan… unfortunately, if I got lured to visit blogs attached to every generic comment, I wouldn’t have time to have my own blog… It takes at least 20 generic comments… but sometimes only one non-generic one… but not always… HA!
Haha it’s perfectly alright! My main goal was to add to this post’s impressive comment tally, but I couldn’t think of a meaningful way to do so! So you just got a generic comment :p Whether you visit my blog or not is really just a secondary objective.
… well played…
Okay, people, I’m being held hostage. Art won’t comment on my post until I comment on THIS post. He’s a tyrant, I tell you!
I am not a tyrant… I am a blackmailer… at worst… although, technically, this is more of a quid pro quo, you scratch my back, I scratch yours kind of a thing…
I did a post on needing my back scratched, so you are taking advantage of my weakness.
That is what I do…
Tsk.
A tskit, a tasket…
Is there even a way of finding out what the most commented post is on WordPress?
no… they say they don’t keep track of that
So you’ll never be satisfied.
have I ever been before???????
I wouldn’t presume to know. I hope so.
well I haven’t and I never will be…
That makes me sad.
me too
okay…I am surfing…but I’d rather be adding to your record on WordPress.
YAY!!!
Hmmm. Just dropping by. Drove downtown to return a library book. Foolish me. There’s never any place to park!!! Got lost slightly in the one way street intelligence test and missed an exit to go west… I did find my way home. My mental GPS failed to get me out of town. Nothing new here.
getting lost is a good way to find new places…
Truly is. Like yer attitude.
wait… you are getting lost in my attitude??? HA!
Just checking to see who has been here lately…
you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m here again….hoping to help.
YAY!
Do people still come to this post?
Now and then.
I wonder how many of these comments are mine…
And how many are my evil twin’s?
well, they all count… so…
Yes, for your purposes.
right…
Fine. I guess.
I mean, I like both of you… so… also, I always picture your evil twin with a mustache and goatee…
Naturally. Evil twins always have facial hair because they are hipsters.
I was thinking of the original Star Trek… with Spock from the alternate universe… but sure…
Are you saying Spock is a hipster?
no… but the evil one was cool
So yo, I miss this place… where are all the crazies at? I want crazies!
I thought you took them all with you when you left… sniff…
I never went no where, holmes. Schmack! Look at me, I brought back the schmack. Now that’s class.
the schmack is back
Omg. How I’ve missed his place…
it isn’t the same without you…
Me too… seems like things have a-changed. How are you doing Julie?
things haven’t changed… just the people doing them… sigh…
People are, surprisingly, human.
That is a poor excuse!!! I still love you, man… and Julie’s back… just sayin’…
Tell your British relatives I’m in their homeland at the moment… and also, yay (Julie-related yay)!
I will tell them to gather the pitchforks and torches…
I will be much happier when I regain the income I have lost due to the s.o.b. I worked for having the audacity to retire. Perhaps my anger should be aimed at his offspring who did not have the desire to carry on with the company and my career. Bastards. Some things never change Trent. My love you and Art, for example, you know Art is me, if I was male… You guys are my forever loves! Crazies like us just don’t grow on trees you know!
awwwwwwww… and we love you…
Julie, I just hope things get better. Life is so weird at times, isn’t it? We miss you and we adore you, by the way. That will never change.
He has a point or two…
Awww…Thanks guys! You da best! I know I will find a job eventually, maybe even one I enjoy again! Hopefully before my savings are exhausted, they’re getting pretty tired now you know…..
I know the feeling
Here! I’m here!
He has been rather scarce as well… sob…
Sounds like the head minion position may be available….
It might just be
Bah! I have my own minion duties See? nice and dusty….
The place is falling apart without you
The many interesting things written here provide an entertaining read. Adding a comment is like hanging out next to a heavily covered graffiti wall and finding a place to spray your tag among all the many different expressions.
And yet I answer every one… not only on this post, but on the whole blog… because I care… and you aren’t just numbers to me…
Hello. Yippie! more yay and hurray! Have another day of humorous fun.
yay… and the number moves slowly up towards… a higher number…
Hi Everybody!!!
Yay… She’s home!!!
Whoa! Lookit this place! I’ve been gone too long!
A lot has happened
So. When’s the sci-fi book coming out? If you need any eyes looking through it, I’d be way more than happy to help. Because you kind of left the last one on a cliffhanger.
And I’m sure everyone’s arms are getting tired.
Well, it is already written, if you really want to get in to it…
Go for it!
oh boy… well, I should contact my other editor too… I thought the tag-teaming worked well
Go Team!
oh boy… maybe I will post the first few chapters as we go… try to drum up some new business.
I hope you are like God…well I know you already consider yourself a god. ..but you know what at i mean….LOL and please accept all apologies for all depressing stuff I posted on the old record breaking blog….I needed someone to pour out my heat to and. …you …like God himself….was there….just like a god…only with a weird sense of humor, and i don’t think gods wears sunglasses …but I’m not going to nit pick. Also I picture God as more of an almighty diety, rather than a beach bum sort but who knows, I could be wrong. Maybe you are a prophet and god is using you to spread silliness to the world. Because this world can sure use some silliness. I mean….look at the middle east…..that’s what happens when people stop laughing. Once laughter stops, only thing left is hatred or indifference.
By the way everyone you can probably blame me for him shutting down his other post. I think He tired of my crap…. So fire away. I’m prepared to be skewered. Even by Author himself. Buthe Arhtur i would still like you to hear the video named Storms for Arthur, which is on my YouTube account if you care to hear it. It’s one of the only songs I still remember how to play on the guitar.
I didn’t shut down any post as far as I know
I left this for you on my you tube page…Storms for Arthur Video