I want to break the all-time record for the most comments on a WordPress blog post.
*** PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS POST ***
Okay, some of you will see this as a shallow attempt on my part to bump up my stats.
And I’m not saying you are wrong.
But here’s the thing… oh, thing, I missed you, where have you been?
I have always said that I have the best commenters on WordPress. I have two posts that have over 1,000 comments on them… True, half of those are my return answers to comments, because I always answer my comments, but still… And I will even go so far as to admit that my comment sections… OUR comment sections… are sometimes the funniest part of my posts. Are you happy now?
But this all has me wondering what the record for number of comments on one post actually is. I want to see if we can break it. Just for the fun of it. We will all be part of a social media experiment. We will all go down in the history books as record breakers. We can amaze and astound the WordPress overlords and maybe have them take notice of us.
And it will be fun.
Oh, and I am a little disappointed that only one person even commented on that cute picture of me as a baby in the last post I did, so here is your chance to make it up to me…
Pouring My Art Out 
Whoa! I fly all the way across country, check into a hotel, boot up my computer, and log on to WordPress and here it is, not even the end of Saturday and you’re already at 40,110. What now? 50k by the end of the weekend?
sure… why not
Chéri, tu es Le Meilleur, really
I am going to assume that is a compliment
Google translated: “Honey, you’re The Best, really.” Too much time on my hands…
that clears it up….
@Art … you invited us to play then sailed off to la la land didn’t you?
I know my responsibilities
I don’t care much for those
me neither
the minions came through
Indeed they did!
they do that
Seems that “they” — and I count myself among “them” — do come through.
I count you too, buddy
I try to do my part. It’s just too bad the plane I was on today didn’t have WiFi. I’d have played a bigger part. Oh well. You flew past your goal without me.
you flew without me too… so
I don’t think I can count that high. Maybe we should just hit the reset button?
we have one???
Damned if I know. I am commenting a lot and really have nothing much to add. So I improvise.
that is the way this works
Yeah! I know. But I keep running out of things to say that make sense. Sooooooooo
we ran out of those a long time ago
and? That is absolutely not a reasonable excuse Missy.
I’m still commenting though!
good point
oh… snap…
@Elyse … maybe that should say 4Elyse instead of @ ….
It could say Fur Elise … That’s lose!
Furry lease? Is that some new age thing to make the furries feel more included in society?
Yes. Exactly.
That’s kinda sweet
yeah it is
are we doing exact now???
apparently.
is it that apparent?
I only know what that is from CSI…
this is how things get out of hand
That’s what the dedicated folks do for their Art.
and how rumors start
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
@Doobster418 and they’re all ready to send out search parties for you too.
he disappeared…
Weird… thought he was in for the long haul, he had “the touch” and was very good at guessing your art stuffin… maybe he got grounded?
we may never know
Hey we did it! 40,088 when I started at the top. It’s likely 41 K by now! Well done Art!
we did it
Yahoo!
wahoo
kazoo!
wazoo
Good grief! You know I had to come comment on the infamous blog post like a proper minion. So there you are, minion mission accomplished 😉
yay… you are also a part of history now… although to be an official minion you have to do at last 100 comments
LOL! 100 comments, huh?
more or less
Wouldn’t that be awful of me—to make my hundred…the opposite of make your day.
Ce ne serait pas terrible de moi de faire mes cent commentaires … le contraire de faire de votre journée.
I get more an more confused
That was a translation of the above Eng. into French, btw. No confusion necessary.
it is never necessary… it just happens to me… ha
Je reçois de plus en plus confus.
40,576…it would be a miracle to get 50K before Monday. Albeit a tiresome miracle for you.
there is no way…it took a year to get here… that is one fifth of it… I would have to answer 5,ooo comments
I could answer 5,000 comments…poorly. 🙂
in a day and a half… and you need to get people to do the other 5,000… and what about eating… and sleeping… family… the super bowl… and comments on my other posts…
yeah, I don’t have the peeps, at least those that’d stick around. But I could forgo eating. No family. No Bowl. And my other posts don’t get recognition. Tristique vitae.
I have limited time
I mean, you know these aren’t even on the right post for breaking the record, right???
Hahahha, I got to be ‘like’ number 200! So there. It also took me some serious finger-scroll-time to get down here to actually say something (I use an iPad exclusively).
I’m not looking at any baby pics, sorry. Be grateful I gave in to your shameless pleading for comments and bothered my hole to write something. Slainté!
wait… bothered your hole???
Hahaha! I have now introduced you to one of most mentally-visually-offensive bits of Irish slang – ‘hole.’
Kicked him up the hole (about the worst thing you can do to someone in a fight, it means they were so useless they left their backside defenceless).
Couldn’t bother me hole – aka couldn’t be arsed. Don’t give a shit, basically. But so much more lovely 🙂
I hardly ever kick anybody anymore
You’re writing with your hole… ouch… that’s gotta hurt. What is a Slainte’?
spammed///
hee hee hee hee hee sure it didnt’ get censored?
that has happened to me too
@heretherebespiders next time you come by just reply to one of the top comments and save all that webbing
why did we never mention that before
Here’s my two comments’ worth. (Including your reply).
awesomesausage
This is monthly dues sweetie, time to get o’er here and drop down another two 🙂
Kissees! Kissees! Get your hot sweet virtual kissees!
virtually sweet… virtually hot… that pretty much sums it up
Trent P. Lewin here, offering virtual smooches at a bargain basement price – $4 each! Kissee kissee kissee, step right up!
it was funny the first two times
Ahhhhh… ouch!
sorry
ArtX
better than an ex Art
Xray
x rated… ha
Xérès
oh boy
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
…ooo000ooo…
je vais me servir de mes bras
jedore le fromage que pu
Free xxoX
uh oh
Ahhhh… someone’s undercutting the market!
Oui xxX
Trent’s Kissing Emporium just folded up shop, I regret to say. Too much lower-price competition, plus the landlord (Art!) was a bit difficult to deal with.
Love Art man!
I love me my Art!
Love him!
I do!!!!!!!!!!!
me too… I must admit… I also love me
But don’t love yourself too much, dude.
I take friction into account…
But does friction take all that vigorous action into account, in return?
turns out it does
…and physics goes spiralling down the toilet…
it can’t spiral down without itself
I think you just nailed physics.
and she loved it
I am seriously blushing… BOL… blushing out loud
oh stop
Never!
ok… fine
awwwwwwwwwww… shucks
how big off you
Hey, who you callin big???
hmm
hey now
Art, you know
His ego is already huge, you know… however, as Head Minion, I feel obliged to defend his munificence.
it is in your job description
Most people who have a job description are also renumerated for their efforts, you know. Just sayin.
we have a long term goal of world conquest… so someday you will be given an entire continent… hopefully before you are incontinent
Now that is an awesome comment.
ha
Possibly your funniest comment ever.
no way
Could be…
I suppose
oh yeah… you heard it here folks
oops now!
Now now…
how now
bow wow
bow before me!
I’m bowing, I’m bowing! Don’t get all Zod on me!
or Gad
Kneel before Zod!
and Gad
Who’s Gad?
my little wizard in my next kind’s book… that might piss off religious fundamentalist..
haaaaaaaaaaaa
personne ne le fait mieux hmm Art
Je l’aime Mr. Art, vraiement.
je ne cherchais pas …https://pouringmyartout.com/2014/01/23/this-is-not-a-post-about-this-post-this-is-about-breaking-a-record/comment-page-33/#comment-131246
C’est bonne, mon ami.
bonne c’est bonne
Est-ce que tu parle Francais? Et… voulez-vous coucher avec un ecureuil?
it’s voulez-vous coucher avec moi…
Un ecureuil est un “squirrel”.
uh oh
C’est vrai, monsieur.
say what, monsoor rat?
Hey….
sorry… brought up on Bugs Bunny cartoons
say bonbons and bonobos sea anemone
I’m suddenly really hungry.
me too
yay… thanks
…ooo000ooo…
well who wouldn’t
Parle francais, s’il vous plait.
I barely speak Englsish
wait… where did my little magnifying glass search thing go???
Huh? What magnifying glass?
it used to be up on top… it moved down… and just says search now
I am not in tune with my surroundings. I had no idea. I’m so confused…
you are out of tune… and flat
yeah… what she said
big off… ha
I don’t really get that remark…
me neither
don’t encourage him
yeah… it couldn’t have been those chapped lips
I take immaculate care of my lips, hint hint nudge nudge.
almost too much… the buffer is too much
What buffer???
it is in some aspirins
Also, stop flirting with me, it’s getting a tad unclassy… I may have to bring my wife into this… oh yeaaaaaahhhh…
I wish you would
Oooohhhhhh boy…..
yup
I do love the international flair
really
I never know… I just type stuff
the meat market
It’s not that kind of meat…
we don’t even have meat around here… makes the minions nervous… since they found out about the soylent yellow
I knew it!
sorry
Excuse me as I go find a place to vomit.
ok… don’t we have an actual vomitorium?
I cleaned it yesterday…
then we must have one… unless you were freelancing
*slap* Here’s my check book. sign me up!
oh my
Finally! A person of vision and taste – bargain kisses all around!
you can’t give those things away
You gotta pay for the good stuff.
we are all paying… trust me
I’ve had a wardrobe malfunction. Good things are now stuck in bad things. This is all I have to say.
oh lord
That’s exactly what I said…
ha
I’ll give you $10 if you make it here before midnight
uh… you got spammed three times…
Spam is jealous because I won’t allow it in my house.
are you a canned meat and gristle snob???
You really think there is meat in that can? Wow, I was right… you are innocent
A little bit… to hold the fat and gristle together
Doesn’t it say something like meat product on it? Ever really though about what meat produces…. just sayin’
It is as meaty as McDonald’s burgers used to be with the pink slime.
Wait, wasn’t that the chicken?
nope
Found this on FB from Huffington Post https://www.facebook.com/HuffPostWeirdNews/photos/pb.131149920304237.-2207520000.1422114920./760778827341340/?type=1&theater
National Squirrel Day!
oh boy… I am like famous
Yeee haw, you’ve made the big time!
just a question of time
Hello…. anyone want to step into Trent P. Lewin’s Kissing Emporium? The decor is a bit shabby but the pricing is quite reasonable. Step right up. Five bucks will get you a professional smooch – that’s a total bargain!
depends where the smooch goes
Ooooooooooooooooo…… aaaaaaaaahhhhh….
you better be making monkey noises
Ummmm… sure…..
sigh
So I’m doing this ASSignment for uni, let me tell you about it to break your record… I have to do “group” work, which I freaking HATE because it means I have to carry the people who don’t get it. It’s a presentation and I only get 5 minutes. WTF?! I canlt make my point in 5 minutes! That’s ridiculous. I am looking at two websites that young people use and comparing them and analysing them in terms of social theory (that’s the question) so I’m doing a neo-marxist theory on interculturalisation by a guy called Xiaoping (which must be a common name because he is not part of a ruling dynasty but in fact an academic). Anyway I am looking at the concept of masculinity and how Tumblr and Whisper (my chosen sites) buck the norm in terms of their concepts of masculinity. I am framing it as an ideological class was where eventually a new concept of masculinity will emerge. The youth of today are using a global counter culture to fight the dominant hegemony and create an interculturalisation of norms and values leading to a new dominant hegemony. Like it? Anyway, that’s why I have my face in a computer screen at 11.06pm on a Saturday night. I can’t believe we’ve been on this thread for a year! That’s OUTRAGEOUS!
Can’t you just say “Civilization is Doomed” and leave it at that?
I could. But I don’t think I’d pass the course, sadly.
ha
I am proud of growing up in the Bay Area where we tend to break the conventional gender roles and what masculinity even means..
Yeah. Be a person, not a gender
heck yeah
oh xx
0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0
Sucky huh?
…ooo000ooo…
This Wednesday was squirrel appreciation day. How did you celebrate it?
Me, I squirrelled out of jury duty.
Did you give them 10 reasons why you couldn’t do it?
I wanted to, but they stopped me after the first one.
I don’t think I’d make a good juror.
they jury is still out on that
Groan
oh yeah
Oy
Why not?
I explained it elsewhere.
cop out
No. Extending comments.
can everybody slow down and let me catch up
NO.
Oh wait. I did.
thanks
Putting long comments into one bubble doesn’t help the count.
nope
Yup
puy
I will not dignify that response with a response
that is very responsible of you
Yes. I am that sort of a person
I am no sort of person
I know.
I dont
But breaking them apart
breaking bad
can make them completely unreadable,
even for this post.
cross examination
Or crass examination.
Jesus was given a cross examination
You should tweet it if you’re not afraid that radical Christians would kill you
I am afraid they are
But they’ll go to hell for this.
serves them right
I tend to believe whatever the last person says.
who is the last person?
Bubba
gum
Don’t spit it on the sidewalk
It’s official… wordpress wants me to go crazy
GO????
hey now
I think you can tell them “been there, done that.”
HA!!!.. are you shooting for an official minion title?
I don’t have one? Then why the hell am I spending my saturday here? I could be at the grocery store again!
I forget if you do or not… I need a list
GUMP. not Gum. Bubba Gump.
no… that’s Bubble Gump
Oh. I’m kind of just the opposite 🙂
I have to draft arguments against people who know far more than I do. I always believe them until I find out they’re full of crap.
I do that here too… ha
No you don’t. You say HA
ha
You should at least go to the trouble of capitalizing it, Art.
I have done posts about this… it is a sliding scale of humor meant to do away with lol… which I hate… it goes;
ha
Ha
HA
ha!
ha!!
ha!!!
Ha!
Ha!!
Ha!!!
HA!
HA!!
HA!!!
HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oy. Or should I say Ah Ha!?
or heeya
Can you make a small rubber stamp “this argument is crap”, and stamp the last page with it before reading the whole thing?
No. I say, “There is no scientific basis for the gibberish this asshole is spouting”. And why not? MY name doesn’t go on the rebuttals!
“Scientific basis”? This is DC, no one uses scientific basis there for anything!
science is evil
That sounds republican.
eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Yes, but these are sent to other parts of the country. Where science is appreciated for the wonder it is.
I wonder what science is
It is everything.
ha!
I didn’t realize that in DC they are aware of the other parts of the country.
You may be confusing DC with New York.
Here in DC, everybody is from someplace else.
Oh right. We elect new DC population every few years.
Sadly, we DON’T! We just let the ones here dig deeper in.
Must be the ones from the coal-mining states.
Not Manchin …
He’s not a coal man? Or he’s not trying to grab on to DC?
Sen fromWVA. Defeated
deflated… like a football…
Yeah, I know who you were talking about. I just thought he wasn’t up for election yet
electile dysfunction
That pretty much describes the American election system.
bam
Gary Coalman???
Ummmm, i’m gonna go ahead and ask you to work on the comments this weekend. ..
ok
????????????????????????? I am lost again
Ore-gon… see what I did there… ore … and gon… Oregon… mining… ha
They could just have called it because of the abundance of oregano
oh snap
By which I mean, I wonder what she’s talking about.
ha…
CAPITALS, ART!
HA!
I do, but I wonder quietly.
Me too.
Besides, you probably have to do a lot of confidentiality agreements you’re not even supposed to tell me about
Shhhhhhhhhh. Or I’ll have to shoot you. And then I’d have to go get a gun, because you know, gun control …
I’m sure that you’re not even supposed to tell people you’re going to shoot them.
I’m soooooooo bad at gunny things.
what about runny things… like noses
What about strangly or stabby things?
and the explodey ones
Those too.
can’t forget them
sure you are… just good manners
But what if they get upset and start shooting back?
that would be rude
Totally
indubitably
I can’t control myself, let alone guns
this one was not in the other comment menu
There is another comment menu?
yup
mine either… I hope
I think you just proves the missing link, Art.
sausage links
That and legislation are the two things you should never watch being made …
there may be one or two others…
I mean when you’re reading their argument, not yours.:)
Yeah.
oh yeah
She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah …
yeah she does
Do likes count?
in what sense?
yeah you are
No I’m not.
🙂
………………
?
!
&#$@!
wow
That’s why I don’t watch Fox News
the only reason???
One of many
better
I have no idea what this was about.
tell me about it
I just did
uh oh
I’m sure now you have 10 reasons not to watch fox
10 to what power?
10 to the power to the people. 🙂
Good answer.
who
I can’t even remember.
remember what???
No clue
in the library… with a candlestick
good answer
Thanks
the power of love
Get it? I made a math joke! Me!
You did!
Do I get a PhD?
If it were only up to me, you would.
no idea what that means
At this point, I don’t know either.
it is up to you… whatever it is
I have no idea what I was taking about there myself.
phew
You’d be an easy thesis reviewer!
easy is my middle name
No that’s your reputation.
dang it
That’s probably why I’m not.
That’s ok. I’m not a candidate. Maybe I will 10 or so years after I finish college.
Well, maybe i’ll be a thesis reviewer by then
Will I have to pay you?
No, but don’t let it stop you.
unless you were going to stop anyway
I wasn’t. I mean, I will eventually, but but not right now.
but but
ideally
the sis reviewer … does your sister live up to the hype?
Hey that’s my sis you’re taking about! Of course she does!
whoops sorry
I am three pages back and falling behind
I was away for three hours and am falling ahead.
decapitating
Hopefully only on photoshop.
I do do that
you can eat some Phood
I’m actually doing that right now. Lunch at 2:38
carry on
Thanks.
no… thank you
I missed it
Missed what?
sorry… I am doing all these in the comment menu… I have no context… they aren’t in order… and now wordpress is mixing them up even more… so I have to go read all these in the post after you guys stop to see how it turned out
well played
Isn’t one enough?
sacrilege!
I wish I could recall what in the heck that comment was connected too.
me too… HA!!!
I do everything in lists of 10
Awwww, I see, yes then ten it is
XXXXXXXXXX
it seems so obvious
Only to those who read my blog
oh… right.
Speaking of which, fox news just got very upset that the White House started calling them just “Fox” without the “News”. There might be a post for you there.
Not a bad idea. I can take pictures of Duncan’s stuffed fox which is very realistically dead looking.
I’d go and look for the link, but if I do, there’d be another 50 comments here to respond to.
I’ll find it. Thanks for the idea. Hope I remember!
I can add a reminder on your blog. 🙂
for what now???
That was for Elyse’s possible new post.
ahhhhhhhhhhh
i just found something I need to write about. It involves poo, so it’s right up my alley. So to speak.
right up your back alley
Yup
puy
Sounds like fun.
I just did.
I just went over to check out the poop… I mean the post.
It’s really both. A Poopnado. I may never stop saying that.
poopocolypse
That is a better term.
a term of endearment
what is the poop on the post… the scoop on the poop… whatever
It’s on Elyse’s blog.
how does that happen
Other people have blogs too.
how inconvenient
what idea??????????????????????????
A blog post idea. But I may not use it. Then again, I may.
that clears that up
I wonder if it works on acne.
no, that’s windex
everybody slow down
I had do. I had to go shovel the snow before it melts.
but if it melts you don’t have to shovel it
Or it just turns into a heavy slush
sneaky
And then it all freezes into ice
now I am even more glad we don’t have that stuff outside our house
Maybe they’re just shortening it kinda the same way so many refer to Obama and seem for forget to put President in front of it?
shorthand… for racist…
I always thought they were leaving off the president part to demonstrate disrespect.
that too
Probably. Half of them can’t even spell “Obama” without some some lame pun like Odumbo or Obozo
I suppose I’m a bit old fashioned in that I believe that the office of the president is entitled to my respect no matter who sits there. Yeah I know…
The office is definitely entitled to respect, but the person in the office? I think of GWB and I can’t make up my mind.
There is a difference between the man and the office. The man may have no self respect, the office still deserves the proper protocols
hen has self respect… he just gets none from across the isle
Hens are evil demonic poultrifications that must be deep fried to remove the stain the leave upon the earth
oh yeah
So i’d say those who are supposed to follow protocols – like politicians, law enforcement, military, news media, and so on, should follow then. I won’t expect as much from private citizens.
or anything
that is a good point
I like the sound of that… old fashiony
I missed this comment
There’s like 40000 comments, it’s easy to miss one.
but I’m not supposed to
just as well, I suppose
Saved me a lot of time, actually.
what did… wordpress has me all mixed up
Not having to write 10 reasons why I shouldn’t do jury duty
you write ten reasons for everything
In real life, I could do 11 or 9
I wish I knew what that one is about… makes it hard for me to sound clever
Something about lists of 10
lisps of ten
You mean lifpf of ten
yes I do
I think you owe it to Art to list them here. It’s your civic/minion duty.
I don’t think my reason would help anyone here. It was because I used to work on legal cases exactly like the one we were to hear.
That’s why I’d never be on jury duty. I still do legal cases. Which makes believing the last thing I hear quite a professional challenge.
this is the last thing I heard
Word.
stop it
I think I only made it out because the case we had was the same kind I did. But in my state they make lawyers and judges sit on jury too.
I think it might be fascinating to do it. Although my boss testified in a case that lasted 6 months … so maybe not.
Honestly, I was really hoping that the case they needed the jury for wasn’t the Tsarnaev/Boston Marathon trial. That one could take years
Those poor people.
poor people… or takers, as some people call them
The entitled…
users
Welfare queens. (God damn Ronald Reagan)
but he is a saint now
how did we get on this
I was squirreling out of jury duty
or worming
Here, lawyers make up 90% of the population and thus most of the jury pool.
It’s only fair – it’s supposed to be a jury of your peers
or beers
Better a jury of beers than of bears.
they do judge harshly
They also like cruel and unusual punishments.
bars are so slimming
that sounds fun
they should make them sit on thumbtacks
Don’t you like lawyers and judges?
who… me? let’s just say they can make your life… different
I know they can. And it could sometimes be a good thing.
I just try to be the last person to say anything and then I know I’ll agree.
what she said… ha
I get the last word Art.
not here… I always win
Kind of hard unless you’re the judge.
Is there an opening?
I never see them advertise a judge position.
can they do that?
I don’t know. I have to ask my lawyer.
no way
Why not?
I forget
So do I
we make a good team… for… something
wait… what?
here come da judge
Sing it to the tune of Here comes the bride
sing what?
Obviously, “bird bird bird, bird’ the word”
I am flipping you one right now
I can see it
ha
I get out of it for more interesting reasons than that
Like what?
I like what
I don’t know.
me neither
And neither me neither.
me too to tutu two
Me neither tutu too
Desmond Tutu?
Tutu’s tutu too.
two of Tutu”s tutus too?
I have been called to jury duty but I always get excused. My strong ideas on criminal justice usually does the trick.
I bet it would! A woman with a point of view? EXCLUDE HER!
LOL yep, works like a charm
I bet it works on dates too… ha
I imagine it would
yup
well you can’t go in screaming; off with his head
In some parts of the US south you can 😉
good point
The South shall rise … oh never mind.
if they do, we are going to let them go this time
I agree completely …
yay
that works too
better than ratting someone out
I could also try to weasel out, but it wasn’t a weasel appreciation day.
I let the squirrels go on a binge
Netflix binge?
Awwww I bet the looked adorable with their cheeks all puffed out and such
uh… yeah… although the bulging, glassy eyes sort of ruin it
Never look a crack squirrel in the eyes
nope
Forever.
sorry
I wasn’t really complaining. I just couldn’t think of anything to say.
Sometimes, Art, you leave me speechless. And that is not something that happens very often.
Guinness records take patience. You of all people should know that.
MY Guinness record didn’t take much patience at all.
No? Didn’t they make you fly all the way to UK to set this record?
No. My husband did that.
If you were waiting for him in the UK, that took patience.
Nope. He came too.
that worked out well
He paid the bills.
I am so lost
patients
And doctors.
and lawyers
And judges.
And we were in Geneva, so it was not much different than going out for carryout.
Like this: “Hello? I’d like to order a Guinness record to go…No, i’ll pick it up. ” 🙂
Works for me! But they didn’t put our names in the damn book. And then they broke it again the next year. And the next.
I hate when that happens
Me too.
U2
Damn. But I guess if you have to list all the names, you’d need a separate book
They’d get double the profits.
Actually…. they’d probably sell the book to every person listed.
what?/////??????????????////?????????????
We were just talking about Elyse’s Guinness record
for what again?
A record for most people doing something at once, but I don’t remember what exactly
what is the most people we ever had here at once?
I don’t know, between 1 and 40,000
that was my guess
we have profits?
I remember this thread!
don’t needle me
OK
ko
The Guinness folks get profits from the books …
oh… those guys
sort of
I merely had to stumble into the right country at the right time. 😉
And now you’ve stumbled into the right blog and the right post. 🙂
That’s true. I can write inane stuff here and everybody will think I meant to.
That’s so relieving. I think I’m going to go start new threads with the inanest comments like “Great post!”, “enjoyed it”, etc.
It is quite freeing. I prefer to relieve myself away from the computer
I bring mine with me… I’m relieving myself as we speak
TMI, Art. TMI
And that’s why I’m on my phone. :))))
…ooo000ooo…
do not make up a fake spam comment and copy dozens of them in there
I think I already did that like 38000 comments ago.
well don’t
Ok, I won’t
see that you don’t
Since I don’t know what we’re talking about, I don’t know what I’m not supposed to do anymore
tell me about it
I can’t tell you because I forgot
tell me anyway
another useful function
Probably the most useful of all.
hey now
Well …
You provide a service to humanity, Art.
I try to
I can tell
GREAT PLAN, X!
we call it; plan x
Damn. We’re clever today!
today?
Once a year, without fail
How did you know i even had a plan??? I just thought of it a minute ago!
Plan W just wasn’t working out.
neither is plan x so far
Art, you cut your minions to the quick.
Plan W? Sounds like a Dick Cheney plan to me.
we are back on him again
Have we ever really left him?
good point
we have you wired
No you don’t, my internet is wireless.
but your brain isn’t
It’s wired to my body, but my body is not connected to the internet at all.
so you think
That’s what my head thinks
make it stop
Hey, that’s my head you’re talking about
yes… it is
I got on of those old analog bodies
anal log bodies????
Ummmmm I hope not
me too
And why I am so much like Dubya.
ha
You don’t believe me? You should see my paintings.
I should… we all should
No. Trust me. You shouldn’t. Or you could because there are none.
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
No clue. Word Press isn’t checking for logic in these comments, is it?
I hope not
Me too. My contribution tot he famous post would be 2 comments if they have to be clever.
many people can say that
Wait, why are you like Dubya??
I go with the last argument I hear.
Oh. Was Dubya really like that? Or was he just afraid of Cheney?
I heard he was like that.
Then I guess that explains a lot.
I wish it would explain it to me
It explains how GW Bush was such a bad president
everything explains that
Except GWB – he’s probably sure that he did a great job
he seems to be… so does Dick
Or a little. One of the two
or both of the two
OK. I’m going to stop for a bit. I’ll check back in later.
thanks for your fine work
Or a little of this and a lot of that.
Works for me
or worse
Probably.
wobbly
snobbily.
bobbily
still lost
I don’t think it’s worth it too look for the meaning of these comments.
I have it all written down somewhere
Oh yeah, you were going to turn this all into a book
a daunting task
And it becomes dauntingier with every new comment.
ah, monsieur Dauntingier… the inventor of the dauntless task… and the Dauntless dive bomber
yeah, I didn’t get that one
Ask Elyse
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
In Canadian, it’s “ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
In ‘Fonz it’s; ‘eeehhhh’
I think in Fonzian it’s Eyyyyyyy
you win
Do you know how long it takes to find where to put your comment on this thing?
using what platform?
The one at the train station.
Westbound.
I usually post a comment and just go read a book or watch a movie while it’s posting,
That makes sense!
Luckily, it’s much faster to respond from notifications. I just hope WordPress doesn’t make one of their “upgrades” that would break that too.
The problem with those is that I NEVER remember what the post is about and what my comment is about.
Actually, one good upgrade WP did is showing the response to your comment WITH your original comment. Or maybe it’s just in the phone app.
They only show a little smidge on my iPhone. Then I still have to go back to the post. Then I have to find the bubble to the comments. then I have to scroll down …
now my drop down doesn’t line up with my comments menu… which is back, by the way
They listened?
Oh. Must be an Android thing then.
iPhone. I love my iPhone
Well, there have to be some Android advantages over iPhone
Why?
So that people stll buy Androids
I am all turned around
Around what?
the mulberry bush???
The mulberry George W bush?
hey… family show
I have a whole bunch of Samsung stuff. Not a fan.
should have stuck with Sam Gamgee stuff
Right. I didn’t have an employee discount there.
Shirely you jest
Why do you keep buying Samsung stuff then?
We had an employee discount while my husband worked there. No more. And No more Samsung…
I have a Samsung phone, Samsung tablet, and a Samsung TV. I’m exactly a fan, but i’m not unhappy with their stuff either.
They fired (oops, laid off) my husband. No money to me, no money from me.
And the computer I’m typing on is one of theirs and I HATE IT.
But it’s not like you’re getting any money from Apple either.
True. But they didn’t fire anybody I know.
That’s because you don’t know anyone in China.
Actually i do. And my very first publication was released there last year. In Chinese. Which i don’t speak.
I hope they translated it better than instructions end up in Englsih
Zhuhe! (That’s “congratulations” in Chinese)
are you sure
I asked Google translate
and what did it tell you
what an assumption
Well I don’t.
me neither
do they fire people you don’t know?
Yes. I’m sure they did.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
darn them
wait… how did we get from the poop about the post to this>?
We cover all kinds of topics here.
and uncover others
And discover third
and get to fourth base
and it hates you
why what
you would think
What do you use?
I don’t know what this is in regards to… I fell behind again
What kind of phone do you use?
I forget that too
Maybe you could call someone
ghost busters???
oh… HTC1
But I do know that I specifically didn’t want an iPhone because i didn’t want to have to put my mp3s through iTunes
ok
that is not legal in most states
some kind of robot
But not THAT kind of a robot.
the other kind
The other other kind
there is another kind?
There are at least 10 kinds
tell me more
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, and 10
do go on
I have a serious First World Problem here!
this is my second world
That means it’s a dictatorship.
I think it’s a Zero World problem, because even most of the first world isn’t aware of it.
Is Zero World at Disneyland? With the Measles?
You mean Ground Zero World?
sounds scary
It’s in Florida. Of course it’s scary.
oh yeah
I need me some context!!!
if you say so
No, that’s true. I’m still looking for a second good update.
what was the first one?
And on this post, remembering what the post is about is overrated anyway 🙂
It’s about something?
not really
That’s what I thought.
I do the thinking around here
Here, it’s always about Art. 🙂
Studio or history?
Both.
I am catching up… type slower
Ok. “Slower”. 🙂
sssssssllllllllllloooooooowwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
your head is leaking
I just have a runny nossssssssse
can’t you keep it stuck to your face
Llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
ha
Oooooooooooooooooooooo
yup
Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
bring it on home
I’m already home.
my home then
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeeeeee
there’s more>?
There’s always more
always?
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Tony the tiger
The tigerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, you mean?
yes… I do mean that
why are all of these out of order
and other places too
Not just here, obviously.
phew
is it really
It is really, I think
That means that I leave inane comments all over the internet.
They’re not inane, Elyse! They’re just the opposite of inane…. ininane?…. uninane?…. noninane?…
I think the word you’re looking for is “insane.”
once you find that word… watch out
Mwwwwhhhaaaahaaaaa
I also do the evil laugh around here
That’s a good opposite.
Antonym smantomin
but does it attract
So much that now it’s the part of the word it’s opposite to.
sexy
just ane
Oh right
@ List of X … so you’re the one who gave them ideas??
He is all about the ideas
And now my comments may or may not show up in the drop down list. There seems no rhyme or reason… it’s a crap shoot.
that is why, when we turn this into a book, the editing is going to be so tricky
If you let the squirrels edit then it will at least be creatively hilarious.
I could divide it up by each individual commenter
blogs from the basement by kaine andrews who blogs here is kinda like a comments gone wild book. It’s fun and a bit crazy.
you know I answer every comment so half these 40,000 are mine
Or possibly more, no wait I double dip sometimes… maybe half
ahhh… this is so like the old days… I can’t keep up
S’ok gramps… we have you out numbered
get off my lawn
Pingback: *** COMMENT HERE *** | Asariels Muse
wheeeee
Where do rainbows hide when it isn’t wet outside?
up a unicorns ass?
That’s a very good answer, you’re probably right. It’s likely that purple unicorn I met in my teens
right…
Leprechauns’ pots of gold?
Another good answer, so the little guys take the lids off when it’s raining to give the gold a grooming?
Well, they have to keep it shiny. I mean, who’d want a pot of dull gold?
True, it’s the shimmer that counts
For a good shimmer, you can get a lot of money
So they say
don’t listen to them
what about a bad shimmer
You mean this actor on Friends?
I hate wordpress
Why, are they kicking you out again? ?
the comments are not in order…
What the right order of comments?
order right of comments the
The order of comments is strong with this one….
this is not the post you are looking for… wait… yeah it is
This is the post everyone is looking for
I hope
Why, are they kicking you out again?
I am lost
But I was found
In the laughter of little children, the dew on a rose, and a puppy’s gleeful bark.
Just kidding. Rainbows play poker, smoke cigars and bang cheap hookers in Vegas when it is dry.
You are going to fit in here almost too well…
Hey, who doesn’t like cheap hookers?
expensive hookers don’t like them
Well. I’ve never had a need for cheap or pricey ones, myself. Then again, I’ve never been tempted with a Thai lady-boy.
you stumped the panel
I doubt that! Man, I’d love a cheap male whore. Oh wait, ya’ll do it for free.
…ooo000ooo…
What?!? A woman can’t have needs? I’m kinda feeling that I’m the one supporting this conversation.
I am trying to change the subject… to a more family friendly option
Nice rescue there I was about to OD on sappy
I did my best to induce nausea!
It was working but ended in giggles instead
Yay! At least I didn’t go for the classics. Whiskers on kittens, etc. yawn!
I could see unicorns getting shit-faced on Bushmills.
If you get shit faced enough you can see anything
Nah, I just drink. My taking stuff to see stuff days are behind me.
Maybe..
can’t always see what’s behind us
ha
we need more of that here
Really? Because I’m bad at cute, but I do know a lot about disgusting things that happen to humans,
is there a market for that
Thai boys as girls? Um. Yeah. They are gorgeous.
right… so are flowers and sunsets
We have a strict sappy quota per day
Good, we need one
not too much, not too little
Only 778 comments to go in order to get to 40,000 this weekend.
Oops. 777. My bad.
Oh wait. Now it’s only 776.
What’s going on? The damn counter keeps changing. Now it’s down to 775.
Is this some kind of prank you’re pulling on me?
Oh wait. I get it. Now I see what’s happening. Very clever.
Maybe he’s deleting his own comments?
Nah! He wouldn’t do that. Not Arthur!
Maybe the squirrels ate them. They get really hungry on the weekends
for crack
Exactly, crack, your comments, same thing really…
ha
nope
See, I told you.
that seems counterproductive
magic
You’re a magic man?
I got the magic hands
Try, try, try to understand, he’s a magic man.
ha
wrong… 775
We are getting close
I’ll be on a plane all day tomorrow, so I need to get my licks…er, I mean my comments…in now.
Yep better get busy
I can’t do this singlehandedly, you know.
Better use both hands then
I can do it with both hands behind my back.
Now that would be a trick
It would be, wouldn’t it?
mmmm hmmm
So you’re a hummer, huh?
hum di dum dum dummmm… maybe?
that seems fairly conclusive
“things are seldom what they seem”
if ever
oooooooooooooooo
Careful, you may run out of ooooooo’s.
I w uld n t want that t happen
N pe!
y u g t it
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I am in a time warp because of the new wordpress changes… yay
ch ch ch changes
oh boy
no no nono no no girl
uh…
I don’t have the right parts for the boy stuff
make do
Nope you’re gonna have to switch, not oh boy, it’s ohhhhh girl
ok
awwwww sweetness
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
it would
It wood.
careful now
woulda shoulda coulda
pudda
…ooo000ooo…
this whole blog is a trick
This whole blog is a trick… did I say that already?
Time to pop a penny on the needle
for those groove scratches…
Yep a penny to play is not sooo bad
depends on the song
Yes, I suppose it could
no it couldn’t… because I don’t know what it is anymore
Hee hee me either but it was fun, no?
…………………………………..0………………………………………
I think so
I agree, are we there yet?
where
Somewhere closer to 40,000
sweet
do what exactly
Whatever it is one can do with both hands tied behind his back.
now all I can think of is things you can’t do like that
Hmm. Scratch your, um, well, touche?
I am so confused by that remark
So am I. WTF am I talking about?
ha… that’s what I said
use both hands
Ba dump dump!
double dump
two for the price of one
regularity gone wild
Can I use my two left feet?
I have been
where you going?
Back east.
ohhhhh… mysterious
A little business, a little pleasure.
sweet
776
You’re way behind now – just 684 left!
Are we there yet?
getting warmer
That’s nice on a day like today
I bet
I wish I knew how many comments I’ve left here so far. Then again, maybe not.
ignorance is bliss
More than one and less than enough
times infinity
Somewhere between 1 and 40,000. (but I may be a couple comments off)
Keep trying, you’ll get there
we will
Between 2 and 39,999?
closer
3 and 39,998?
what???????????????
It’s a code.
everything is
oh my
Have you heard? About the word?
oh lord
Everybody’s heard about the bird.
Big bird or Bye Bye Birdy?
love bye bye birdy
there ya go then
where I go?
Somewhere else
The Surfin’ Bird!
LOL that came out about two years before I was born but I grew up with it.
ha… you grew up
Wellll some may say otherwise
otherwise
You are one in a milion 😉
Juan in a million
not me
Oh definitely. Bird’s, apparently, the word.
apparently
I demand that this post does not stop at 50,000 comments. It needs more than that. MOAR.
ok… now I can blame it all on you
Is that near Mordar?
the border of Mordor
good. I wouldn’t want to witness an invasion
then do not read my fourth sci-fi book in the series
If Art develops the ability to magically watch people with a giant, flaming eye…then maybe!
He hasn’t
You’re right. I blame the crack squirrels.
I blame wordpress
I blame society.
them too
…………… wait for the post
I waited too long. Now I don’t remember what I am waiting for.
the eye of Sauron/pink eye… I am doing some Photoshop stuff
Thanks. Now I am 22.3% less clueless than before
new math
Are you sure?
not usually
Not you
oh yeah
I was. But then I had to go to the grocery store and run some errands. Now I’m not so sure.
assuredly unsure
I didn’t buy any ensure. But I was just reading Doobster’s post from today about ensure and perhaps I should have.
couldn’t hurt
Good, never want to be too sure, especially just after having endured a shopping trip
True. I never know what I bought and what I forgot. Life is like that.
I hate shopping, it is torture. I bribe and sometimes outright pay others to shop for me.
I can handle groceries. The mall? AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
the worst
Why in the world would you torture yourself like that?
A girl’s gotta eat. But the Mall? Thanks but no thanks.
I have to be real desperate for food before I willingly shop.
we all need to eat… and shop
Yes on the eating no on the shopping.
can’t have one without the other
No but I don’t have to do the shopping part of it
we did it… 40,071 comments… thanks… you made history
No thanks needed, It’s what we do ;P
too bad most of today’s comments are out of order and incomprehensible
That kinda fits who we are right? Out of order and incomprehensible isn’t so much a bad thing now is it?
you could get mauled at the mall… by a gangster’s moll
I better stay home.
right
when we could do it for you
they do have people who do that
I have kids so I don’t need “people” LOL
people are so overrated
precisely
exactly
it is for me
shopping… oh boy
nooooo wrong parts again
there are no wrong parts…
missing parts then
ouch
hee hee oh girl
ha
There was supposed to be a “?” In that comment.
if you say so
Well, yes. Yes I did, didn’t I?
did you
yes. I just said that.
you did?
I can do that
ok… I have a periscope… and a bad case of pinkeye
That counts.
I might have to do a post about it
It makes me wonder, if you use a periscope while you have pinkeye, does that mean you can transmit pinkeye to the other people that use it too?
Makes life on a submarine that much more dangerous, methinks.
I think you could
@siriusbizinus … get over here and makeithappen
I refuse to come over and…oh wait. I FELL FOR IT AGAIN!!!
You know you lervvvv it
lerv is a many splendored thing
Indeed is is a lervely world
a larvaly word
LOL ewwwww
you are my best pupael
Bwah ha ha ha ha haha
I am good at this
Seems like you’d run out of ways?
not me and my crack squirrels
Yes, they have ways… anyways and sideways and ways and means
no ways
byways highways and carryaways
how much does the thigh weigh?
Yours, mine or the chikenz?
I know a good chicken joke
Welll?? let’s have it
too long to do now
Chicken!!
yup
Where’s the joke, chicken
I will do a post about it someday… remind me
remind me to remind you
I will
I have been caught red handed! Again…
use sun screen
It never works. I eat and eat, but it never does any good.
your insides are still pink
I don’t know. I’ve never seen them!
try it
Okay. It’s not working.
wait… what… I forgot
Change of subject. How is the wine painting coming along?
spam
We’re at 42k, Art. WE NEED MOAR SPAM!
I will get to 50k someday
That day will be in two weeks. Exactly.
my achin fingers
Wine or finger paint?
Finger paint made out of wine. My canvas is always blank because I’m so thirsty.
Yes, I can see how that could happen
You can see how that would happen? Are you watching me right now? How many fingers am I holding up?
One and… hey dude… seriously you couldn’t choose a nicer one?
But my pinky is the nicest one I have…
I thought they were red?
Exactly. Red and white make pink. At least that’s what it says in the manual.
But white isn’t really a color??
Sure it is! Especially when one closes one’s eyes!
It’s more fun to keep the eyes open
That depends on the activity. I’ve been told that it’s not so great when one is undergoing surgery.
I had major surgery and stayed awake for it… they even let me watch with a mirror… I didn’t need to look twice.
Did they charge you extra for the mirror? Personally I would have been okay with sleeping through it.
spam
I am in a fight to the death with your Akismet. I shall win!! Or not.
the robots kicked my ass once
What sort of robots did they use?
wordpress kicked me off of my blog for 5 days when I typed a short fake spam paragraph and then pasted it into a few hundred random blog comment boxer…
Nope the giant mirror in the corner is free, comes with the scalpel dude but I only thought I wanted to watch… changed my mind real quick.
objects in mirror maybe be more disgusting than they actually are… or maybe not
maybe not
true
quite possible
is it
Sometimes anything is
that covers a lot of ground
Gotta start somewhere
you do?
always only other option is nowhere and I’ve been there… it’s a desert
or a dessert
Actually, if I had the mirror I probably would have watched. Because I can’t look away from surgery.
I can look away when they’re cutting me.
It is the sound of muscle being cut with scissors that gets me… like a rubber inner tube…
Yep and I could feel it like but it didn’t hurt… wayyy weird
………………..
What about at the dentist’s office?
Dentists don’t cut me, if your dentist whips out a scalpel, it’s time to run!
That explains why they always strap me in.
Are you in the UK?
Nope. I’m in the States. My dentist also runs a taxidermy shop. You know, in case you don’t make it.
Coool you could end up as a stuffy!
oh my
Just like Pooh Bear
Or a poo bear. Depending upon what I ate that day.
Tru poo bear then? Hmmm nahhhh they clean all that out and toss it in the flower bed before they stuff ya.
see, this always ends up happening
ha ha (regulation lols?) Bwah ha ha sheet happens?
so do pillow cases
No pillow cases are an evil devise used to make us do more laundry
I once saw a pillow case get held up… by two clothes pins
Bummer hope those pins are in the pen now
ha… I would hate to hamper them like that
They should have considered that before they went into the stick up biz
they are so stuck up
A few years in the pen will bring them round
hang the out to dry
Yep, poor little pilla case will be safe then
he has a bad case of the bad case, but he won his case, so get off his case… just in case
not touchin that… don’t know where it’s been
around the block
It’s raining
men?
I wish,
ha
At least then I’d get the yard work done tomorrow
growin’ them shroomies
Yep, and rock gardening.. not to be confused with garden rocking
I never confuse those
Good, never know what with those squirrellys and all
no you do not
which makes it even more fun
yup
hibernation plugs you up
bears like honey and I’m a pooh bear
so I do care so I’ll climb there
ha
stuffed animals with really clean teeth
is that a bad British teeth slam???
Ha ha no I hadn’t thought of that. I was thinking that in the UK I hear that they “cut” all their medical care.
translational errors
Those are fun
List of X is in the hizzouse
Yeee Haw… let the X’s begin
and the O’s
Ohhhhhh Yeah!
word(s)
Unless you want a cookie and they stick you with a cake
I got stuck with a cake once
Worse when you ask for biscuits and gravy and they think you’re nutty for wanting cookies for breakfast instead of scones.
I first had biscuits and gravy in Kentucky workin’ on a tobacco farm
I was born in TN, they slip em into your mothers milk here
how do they do… nevermind
mmhmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmooooo, said the mumbling cow
Well it’s hard to talk while chewing and ya’know… that cud won’t wait
no it will not
oh boy
word
depending on where they are cutting you might need more than one mirror
innard Skynard
Ha ha mmmhmmm. When you’re having a c-section and they say “wanna watch us cut through several layers of your body and pull out a kid?” the correct answer is NO!!!
I always say no
If I had said No I wouldn’t have been having a baby cut out
good point
I watched a doctor sew the end of my finger back on… and up… once
THAT IS JUST WRONG.
spam
yeah it is
one must never do that
Ever.
spam
Where are the other minions/crack squirrels?
good question… not that I can even keep up with you two
Sure you can! You’re doing great!
hands going numb
racist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nooo I had to stop the racing after I dropped that big weight on my toes and mutilated several of them… the baby toe is still not back in service yet.
but did you hate the black and blue toes?
Manuel
That’s the name in the front of it. I didn’t get your copy by chance, did I?
Is it is Spanish?
I don’t know, it’s written upside down.
spam
Maps.
Americans are not good at maps
No, we’re not. Good thing we have GPS and Canadians!
or almost anybody else in the world
it’s a redy, not a pinky
A ready pinky?
careful now
If I were careful, … would I be here?
no
said Doctor Evil
He’s a real doctor. From America.
where else
Canada. LOL. Just kidding.
spam
ha… that’s what I said… or implied
hey, that is a rude gesture to make to a lady
Not always. I knew one lady that treated it like an offer.
only one?
The second one didn’t count. I’ve been sworn to secrecy.
no swearing…
I shall swear not to.
spam
moar spam!
moat spam
Not in a moat
Not on a boat
Not in a castle
Nor whilst I wrassle
I do not like green spam and tarts
I will not eat them Artsy Farts.
did you ever read my post about the letter written by William Shakespeare to Sam I Am telling why he couldn’t eat green eggs and ham… you should search for that one…
also my post called Samurai I Am… he cuts up all the animals in that poem with a sword… good picture
but not too clearly
Not my fault she spiked the dr pepper
with real spikes
No with Jack and it’s too sweet and stuff. and too cold.. jack should always be neat
not my brother Jack… he is a slob
Even more important to serve him neat then… enough mess there already
serve him meat
dude… I now have to try using wine as a watercolor paint…
You should. I wonder if the pigment will change when the alcohol evaporates.
What if at that point you could paint with wine as a watercolor, and the work would end up in different colors!
I am doing it
We must know the results! ! For SCIENCE!!!
wait… what am I doing
You are trying to gauge the air speed velocity of an unladen African swallow.
spam
Spamity spam!
the spamitiest
It’s like Spam lite. But not lite.
I wonder if they make extra chunky spam
ha
softy
Lies and slander. And by that, I mean, “True.”
don’t fight it
I’m a lover, not a fighter.
I can do both… they are a lot alike
That sounds like something I’d hear in a jail.
I have been there… a lot of times… so yeah
It’s too bad my license isn’t in California. Sounds like you need a better attorney.
It has been a while… and I was asking for it…
Well, I suppose it’s great that the police obliged you!
spam
be nice to him… he is helping me edit the third book in my sci-fi series
I am being nice… I think?
you are…
Your next post starts “I am shutting this blog down…” One year later, you have not. Explain yourself. 😉 One year anniversary for this, and a couple thousand more comments!
Yay!
Not a couple thousand, a couple TEN thousand. About. For once, my correction means something.
Or at least I’m not pissing anyone off…
so far… so good
Gone too far, hit a mirage.
bridge too far… just to encourage
Bridges broken, what’ve you been smokin’?
I am now using those new e-cigs… but I roll them up like a joint in rolling papers just to look cool
How can you roll up hard plastic? Explain. 😉
uh… I just roll up the rolling paper around the outside of it?
Yeah, I got that. But another comment, yay! …I’m already tired.
try doing 20,000 of them
But getting there…20K on your part.
slow but steady wins the race
well played
I’d be faster if it wasn’t for this slow technology.
funny how technology only seems slow once something faster comes along
Yep.
see, it is always just a question of time of time before we all resort to one word replies.
Yep #2.
are we counting them now???
Yep #3. 😉 Okay I’ll stop saying that…
good… (#1)
yeah yay
Yeah, yay, way. Sounds like a song title.
sounds like a cello player… wait, that’s Yo Yo Ma
Or Yo Yo Mama.
don’t you be talkin’ about my momma…
LOL.
no… no LOL… I have done posts to explain why that needs to go away…
LMAO.
that just sounds painful
Try a yeast infection there. Guilty. Painful. Sorry for mentioning that fact here.
that was a conversational speed bump… ha
I tend to lean towards antics…
Antics shmantics. Semantics.
some antics are semantics… and some antics are just frantic panics…
Semantic panics. Can’t find the right words…
can you find the wrong words?
Always.
good deal
I could send you schematics… I keep them in the attic… where they remain static…
Never to be seen again. Poor schematics.
schematics, schschematics… wait… that doesn’t really work…
Nope.
it was too hard to say
Hello there! My name is Sirius F. Bizinus. How are you today?
Hello there, Serious F’in Business, I am doing better than I was this morning. And worse, that I need to sleep soon…
Sleep is good! Or so I’ve heard…
You may’ve heard right, but my sleep isn’t good anymore. Bad bed—bad bed! *waving finger*
The villainous sleep device!
An old sleep device at that, of springs that poke into the back and do a number on organs…some firsts are not better—only steps in the right direction.
get a new one
I used to sleep in the other, second far better bed. But it wasn’t mine, so now I’m back to the ‘villainous’ bed.
I sense a story here…
No stories. Just a fear of spiders aided my back for years, and now my back is back there, oh dear.
the devil’s playground
bad bed needs to be a song… or a poem… or a band
I tried it once
better and worse… do we have a cure for that???
Life is better and worse. Having children is better and worse. Everything…is better and worse. 🙂 Cannot cure that, it is magic.
That sounds strangely deep
yay… you remember about greeting people and saying hello
@adamjasonp …. howdy howdy dude… still here.
howdy doody… ha
Don’t you love the new auto next comment thang?
I don’t even know what that means
After I reply to a comment on the drop down WordPress moves me down to the next comment on the list.
sounds like a personal problem… but as long as they are going on the comment count on this post…
They usually show in my email so I can check through them once in a while to see if I missed something biggg
so many ways to get information
info gathering, info sorting, infor migration… it’s what I do
in fumigation
That’s bad for the critters… lets not and say we did
I did and said I didn’t
ouch poor little critters.
ha
@aladywrites4u …. I have no serious bizinus here.
Good cause serious is not allowed here. Check your serious bag at the door and come on in.
and the business box too
Nooo gotta keep that one. funny business,… monkey business… nobodies business… business is fun!
but that clashes with my all-art-side-of-the-braininess
but but but … art is funny business, no?
then I should be rich
Or: as on twitter, bow-ing out. 🎀 🚪
ha ha cool much less painful than passing out
not as much fun
I avoid passing out, leads to bruises and headaches and those embarrassing photos on Facebook.
yeah it does
sweeeet
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’ve come to join the party… Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring any crackelephants… 😉
No room for them anyway… but thanks, and welcome!
Did you know that if you toss some habanero peppers in with the cucumbers while pickling the results will be considered hot?
Neither did my lunch date… he does now Bwah ha ha ha
oooh… spicy
no… but I’m not surprised.
Hey there, squirrel keeper, how’s it going?
fine
Gee, you could have sent the party invitations out a little earlier. Now I don’t have time to get my nails done. Oh well, happy anniversary anyway! And Kudos to Julie for reminding everyone.
that is why she gets the good minion chow
Where the lacy gloves and you won’t have to worry bout the nails
where them or wear them???
Ware thim of course ,,,, sheeesh don’t you ever listen?
were them… like a werewolf
or where them somewere
where would I wear my werewolf wear where such wares would be worn…?
In the woods during a full moon just stumble from one campsite to the next and see what happens
I like that idea
Should be all kinds of fun
well it should be
Good point. But lacy gloves might require a tiara – I think I may have one around somewhere.
Or maybe a pole…. either way, make it happen
a poll… for dancing?
lacy gloves and all
oh yeah
Trust me, you DO NOT want to see me anywhere near a pole.
LOL better find that tiara then
But Art says he has a tiara. Maybe he can do the pole.
There you go, maybe he can do a whole video of it and use the profits to fund his next project
it would make me rich
or infamous, either way it should go viral in no time
yup
the two do not go together
raised two girls… I got bags full
That’ll do, I raised 7 girls but I’m pretty sure there’s not a tiara to be found round here.
then you did it wrong
I suppose time will tell
I tell time, time doesn’t tell me
So far they seem to all be well adjusted adults who are employed or in school and none of them have ever ended up in jail or rehab soooo I guess not too bad
keep those fingers crossed
I totally lucked out and I know it. Despite me they are all turning out well. Which just goes to show free will exists. Bwah ha ha
we will take a poll… a pole poll…
I know I do
Seriously?
It’s been…
…a year…
…already?
Wow!
Time goes by quickly…
when you’re having…
a stroke???
No, that’s about the only time it doesn’t. Not that I would know, of course.
sure
Surely.
Shirley!
…fun!
fungus
amongus.
no need to get personal
Are you amongus?
uh… I guess I am
in some ways
In all ways, all the time.
except that one time…
The exception that proves the rule, whatever that is supposed to mean.
the inception that proves the fool
yeah wow
Yeah wow indeed.
exactly
Precisely.
indubitably
are you making a mockery? make a fake video of it… a mockumentary
Mock me, mockingbird?
mock turtle soup
Mock-adamia nuts.
Mock-donald’s
do go on
I did.
did you
yes
I agree.
me too
supposedly
Suposably?
my brother actually thinks that is a word
Apparently a lot of people do.
oh, people
Totally
Completely.
thoroughly
Absolutely.
Didn’t you utterly use that one already?
Perhaps I did.
S’ok, it’s always better the second time around
So I’ve heard. 🙂
from whom?
from those who have been around a second time.
ha
😛 mmm hmmm
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
mistakes are made
mismade.
that happens here
where is here?
here is where here is, or so I hear
I hadn’t heard
pay attention
Never on a Saturday
I am so lost
I’ll send out the squirrel trackers
thanks
Least I can do
yes… it is… ha
more or less
Less is more.
modern Millie
🙂 Nice one
yay
you complete me… ha
Show me the money!
I have none to show
What good are you then?
that remains to be seen
fer sure
Happy Anniversary!
yay
I really hope WordPress doesn’t ban me for posting too many comments to this thread too quickly.
you might get spammed… but how the hell would I know?
I’ve heard a rumor that something weird happens if you watch this video in its entirety from beginning to end:
I believe you… but after that virus I ain’t clicking any strange links
This is what you are missing = “This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they’ll continue singing it forever just because (- return to beginning. )
we understand the concept… it’s a small world after all… (that was just payback)
True story. Stand in an elevator, and hum the first seven notes to “It’s a Small World” over and over again. People will leave as fast as possible.
I whistle ‘He’s got the whole world in his hands’… while I take a leak in public men’s rooms…
You can’t watch it till the end! IT’S A TRICK!
life is a trick
Sure you can!
uh oh
Some people started singing it…not knowing what it was.
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
Knockie knockie! Hi, my name’s Art, could I have a kiss please?
Trent: sure, just lean in close.
Art: is a little facial hair okay?
Trent: This kiss is over.
that was fast
It was awesome.
All right folks, step right up to Trent P. Lewin’s Virtual Kissing Booth and Bum-Sack Emporium! The service here is crappy but the merchandise is worse. This is how it works… simply lean in and plant a big fat wet one on the face of yours truly. Hang on, I will demonstrate.
wait… bum sack or bum smack??? HA
Would you like to pucker up now?
Here’s my wallet. I just got paid. lay it on me Trent!
oh boy
Please raise your arms and close your eyes. Step forward a little bit. Please roll up your tongue and keep it firmly against the top of your mouth, and… smooch. There, done. That’ll be five bucks please. If you would like another, please step to the back of this extensive line. If Art tries to bud in, give him a good kick, he seems a bit too enamored with the virtual kissing booth. He also has very adventuresome hands…
OH MY GOODNESS!!! WE ARE NEARLY AT OUR ANNIVERSARY!! DID YOU REALIZE THIS? IT’S IN LIKE 4 DAYS! I HAVE GOT TO GET A NEW OUTFIT AND HAVE MY HAIR DONE!! Aren’t you glad I realized this and didn’t embarrass us all after the fact?!
oh… no way… we should celebrate… how long has it been? And I didn’t get me anything…
it’s in two days. 1/23/14 Isn’t the first anniversary paper? Nearly a year and just over 39,000 comments! Thats only like, 46 comments a day. What the heck?
well we need to do something… special
Paper won’t fit into the Internet. It’s why Amazon doesn’t take cash. 😦
but I have a printer
I didn’t get me anything either.
cheap date, huh?
Oh my gosh…. really? I forgot! Art – what kind of bling do you want?
the shiny kind
I think the first year is paper, I suppose we could send you a foil hat or some such
pretty sure it’s diamonds
No, diamonds are for the 60th
but I might not live 59 more years
Well if you want a diamond from me you have to
be your best friend?
If we’re both still bloggin in sixty years we’ll have to be best friends, everyone else will have died off by then. 😛
Isn’t foil like the 5th anniversary?? Newspaper hat maybe, if you can find a newspaper…
You’re right, he can’t have the foil till 5. Poor fella
curses… not foiled again…
I can make cute little paper pianos… or ummm we once boiled water in a paper pan for a sci experiment, that was cool. We could make you a paper pan
That would be cool too
I do like a nice newspaper hat
I wonder if we can hit 40,000 by tomorrow.
we might have a shot…
On the subject of snails. How do feel about them. Do you like them? How many snail lovers read this post?
Are we talking about the eating kind or the pet kind or the under sea kind or just the garden ones???
It can be any snail of your choosing…
then I guess I don’t really have a strong opinion one way or the other…
Fair enough. What about eating snails. Like them?
not particularly
Shame. They taste good. Good luck beating the record. Peace.
thanks for helping.
I’ll drop in with some totally random and pointless statements from time to time 😁
That is pretty much what we try to do around here… so YAY
No. Garlic butter tastes good. Snails taste like rubber bands.
and rubber bands taste good… with enough garlic and butter
I disliked them until I went to Paris, now they are considered munchies
for ducks
They are delicious munchies
I had them stateside and didn’t like them but the chef at a small cafe we stumbled on in Paris knew how to make them tasy
France is the best place to have them. Its all about the sauce.
…ooo000ooo…
True. I live 11 miles from the French coast ;]
they have a coast?
Do you Americans possess an atlas?
we do… but we don’t use them
At least your honest about it. This may come as a shock, but there are other countries in the world ;]
Americans can’t find America on a map unless the map is labeled… so it isn’t exactly racism or a sense of superiority…
you gave me a giggle, nice one
I wish it was a joke
I live 20 feet from the French toast…
Eggy bread is a speciality in your part of the world, I guess. Nice.
and waffles… we stole those from the Belgians…
The sauce for these was amazing
it is all about the sauce… you could eat a rat poo with enough butter and garlic
andddd if you eat out enough you probably will. ;P
oh yeah… bring it on home now…
My kids are cooking tonight and based on who is home there will be pasta, something Japanese and some kind of baked goods. No rat turds in the lot
really, because there is nothing like a good pasta sushi rat poo pie…
I’ll take your word for that
you might as well
Yes, you haven’t lied to me yet
as far as you know
Well, yes, that’s true but I’m sure the squirrels would tell on you
good point
tasy… ha… don’t tase me, Bro,,,
LOL mmm hmmm
yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
so are Girl Scout cookies
Never tried one.
you don’t even need garlic or butter
Everyone, come on and sing along! This is the [redacted] Song!
*Bleep* *Bleep* *Bleep* [Redacted] *Bleep*!
*Bleepity* *Bleep* [Redacted} Sheep!
never redact a sheep
That just makes the NSA mad
do we not have a cross out words button???
I would but I don’t know the song. You know I am always up for a sing-a-long! This is the song that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends!
no it doesn’t
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was!
I don’t know what it is
And they’ll continue singing it forever just because…
………………………
99 bottles of beer on Trent’s head… 99 bottles of beet
Let’s see. I can do this. 99 bottles. We take one down. We pass it around. But where does the bottle end up? What if there are more than 99 people? That wouldn’t be cool. Wait, that’s not the point of the song.
Okay. New sheet of paper. We have 99 bottles. One gets taken down. Let’s see. We carry the one, add the square root of a hypote-moose angle…and voila! 100 bottles of whiskey to drink! Damn, I’m good.
new math just confuses me
So I would like to discuss old white men… I think I’m allowed to discuss that without offending too many people. Here’s my question: how come old white men hate everything? Am I going to hate everything when I become old? And white?
yes we do and yes you are
Did you just call me a white old guy???
not yet
It’s not actually physically possible, you know.
I think it is
Dennis Leary wrote a song about it. The link is here:
http://youtu.be/kgEsH6Ue3No
oh boy
It’s amazing how some people can just put things so much better than I can…
Is it really?
Have I ever told you how funny you are?? I LOVE THIS SONG!
…ooo000ooo…
I aint neva growin up
bazinga
not to worry, you will only offend the old white men. It’s not like there are too many of them. — Wait. Please define old. I might be in that category. I don’t think I hate everything though. Not everything. The things I don’t hate only piss me off. That still isn’t everything. Close, but not everything. Maybe I am not old enough yet. Or maybe because I am not a man. Who knows?
ha… I like the last one best
who knows?
I do
Nah, you’re too cool to be lame, no matter how old, white or unmanly you might be.
They still like young white women
well who doesn’t…?
Young white women?
where?
Somewhere over the rainbow”
use the GPS
Tom Tom is my friend
both of them
Yes, both of them, they lead me to wonderful places.
Oh boy…
Nooooo girl, sighhhhh focus
I never focus!
a blurry existence? Or simply an odd angle or two?
Blurry doesn’t do it up quite right. That’s like painting half a house. And odd angles don’t work in a round world. Mad in the head might be the right clothing, to be honest. At least I look dapper and all.
Dapper will do it
It’s gonna have to…
it sure is
diaper will do do
Rough morning?
for Trent maybe
What happened to Trent? Did you set the squirrels on ’em
He usually shows up for the reunion tours… when we get the band back together…
He may have gotten lost in the catacombes, you should get out more, you’d know that
I am the crypt keeper
The crypt keeper is wayyyyy cool
yes… I am
you look diaper
I smell diaper, too.
oh boy
It’s all true…
yup
old eyes… ha
you blur the lines
Often, the lines are blurred before I get there.
are you driving drunk?
Never!
good… I hate that
I just pooped on a squirrel. I think it was a crack squirrel, because it seemed to enjoy the experience. Dirty dirty crack squirrel!
you have a mean soul
I most certainly do not. I’m very gentle, you know.
so it is just me you are mean to?
When am I mean to you????
constant revolts and schwanging me…
It’s called schmacking. Schmacking. Schmack!
I don’t actually read it anymore
You pretty much invented the thing.
I did???
Schmack, yo.
precisely
Indubitably.
very few things are indubitable
38,862… I mean 38,863!
shoot for 40,000 this weekend?
Duuuude…. I have editting to do (yours) and I have writing to do (mine).
do not me interrupt those things… did I send you the whole book? I still need to write a new chapter or two
You did send the whole thing.
phew
Just stumbled across this… and figured I’d comment. Just because.
Remain in awesome. 😉
YAY… you are helping us reach our goal… whatever the hack that is…
🙂 Is there an existing record you’re looking to beat?
wordpress says they don’t keep that information
Not anymore! This has gotta be the record now.
oh yeah
Because is not a reason
It sometimes is
🙂 Fair point. Alright then: I commented because it was a way of supporting this effort.
But you know what I mean.
I do?
Yes, I do… how disturbing is that?!
do we get to decide?
Sure, why not?
too much responsibility for me
How do you mean?
You know, I really miss the feature that allowed us to see a history on these comments because I can’t even remember what I was commenting on. Likely means it was a nonsense comment though sooooo 🙂
I hate it… stupid changes
I know… They just can’t stop changing the notification box.
I know
I mean, everything was fine the way it was, if you ask me.
I don’t know what you are basing that supposition on
Well, the WordPress notification system was perfectly functional before. When they first changed it, the UI was confusing, and it’s lost a few features in the process.
That’s my two cents anyway.
they just can’t help themselves… or us
maybe it will help me to improve my memory but that’s not likely
give it a shot
Just one?
across the bows
ohhhhh shiver me timbers!
consider them shivered
duckin and coverin
my favorite Vaudeville act
I think it is just an expression
Perhaps…
let’s just assume
Pingback: His bark is bigger than his bite. | Mindful Digressions
…ooo000ooo…
I said: http://trentlewin.com/2015/01/05/my-name-is-not-julie-a-guest-post/
!
I know, right?
I think I am going to have to go check that out. Why am I so scared?
because of him… he is scary
Ya shouldn’t be… it’s 100% love. Total love-in. I feel kind of warm and smiley, to be honest. And it’s not just the beer talking. Although beer does talk to me sometimes… it’s weird.
beer is the only thing that will talk to him
Ahhhhh… low blow! I like my beer tall, sweaty and mostly bottled.
just like you like your women
Dude… so wrong. So so wrong.
yup
Well, someone has to stir the pot. They also have to smoke the pot. When stirring and smoking come together… wow. This comment is going no where.
it is the pot calling the pot black
That pot is happening.
it is top pot
Oh man
Oh yeah!
oh boy
Aha! the first step to a blog!
It’s about time, eh?
I had a blogger friend who had been trying to convince me to start a blog for at least five years. I’m sure Julie can start quicker than I did.
I hope so.
hope springs eternal
It needs to.
yeah it does… around here
Artmetric System Chapter 10: Area
Measures world takeovers. 1 World = 1000 Minions x 1000 PMAOs x 1000 Cracksquirrels.
this equation has a tipping point after all the military forces of the world are following the blog…
Well, >I< won't be tipping them off.
spam
Ahhhh… I missed everything!
it ain’t over yet
Artmetric System Chapter 9: Electricity
Measured in Art’s Hijinks. 1 Blogshutdown = 100 Art’s Hijinks. 1 Internetobliteration = 1,000 Art’s Hijinks.
getting kicked off wordpress for 5 days for a spam joke… priceless…
For everything else there is world takeovers
spam
Artmetric System Chapter 8: Pressure:
Measures pressure to leave a comment or read old posts. Measured in PMAOs. 1 PMAOs = 1 Cracksquirrel x 1 Comment. 1 COMMENTHERE! = 38,464 PMAOs. (for now)
PMAOs can only be measured from behind or above, and you must remember to factor in the fact that he was born on a heavier gravity world and his bones are 2,7 times denser than most humans other than Dick Cheney
But not even half as dense as George W. Bush’ brain
spam
Artmetric System Chapter 7: Temperature.
Not needed: it’s always the same temperature in San Diego.
man… that is almost literally true
I know. You probably have more temperature variation between day and night than between winter and summer
spam
Artmetric System Chapter 6: Blogging
Measured in Blogs. 10 Blogs = 1 Listofx. 2,692 Blogs = 1 Pouringmyartout.
squared
Or cubit?
spam
In case no one is brave enough to open the previous page of comments:
“Paul and I will be developing Artmetric system. For those who find Metric too alien and British (foot-pound-gallon-Fahrenheit) too confusing.”
EVERYONE MUST PARTICIPATE! THIS WILL BE ON A TEST1
“Artmetric System Chapter 1: Volume: measured in Myarts. 1 Myart is about 264.17 gallons and 1056.69 quarts.”
And hey – another comment!
bazinga
one more closer to 1 GuinnessRecord
spam… ands I always wonder what this does to the order the comments show up on the post
I really thought people would follow you over here for this…
I don’t know, it takes like 50 Comments to wait for the page to open.
the downside of success…
It’s the internet being stretched to the point of breaking.
Same thing happens to my zipper… Ha
Ok, so not “a little aroused” then :)))
HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
man… I have friends coming over for dinner soon.. but I am enjoying this
Ok, since this is all beyond me, will I be getting points for creativity? Does this count towards my participation? Can I please have a hall pass? I need to use the bathroom. Why is it a bathroom in school? There isn’t even a bath area! Oh yeah. I seem to remember the nuns referring to the lavatory….
those crazy nuns…
Artmetric System Chapter 5: Distance: measured in Cubits (a distance of 1 Cracksquirrel jump)
10 million Cubits: Distance between Art and his Executive Minion in charge of Art’s security (X). Too far by any normal logic – but the design of the system took 12,231 Cracksquirrels to develop.
and half the squirrels died doing it, people…
But they probably procreate like crazy.
it has been known to happen
Artmetric System Chapter 4: Speed
Crack squirrels do not use speed. They use crack! Moving on.
technically I think crack is a type of speed…
Crack is cocaine and speed is meth
well, according to everything I learned growing up in the 60’s and 70’s in the drug capitol of the world… ie Berkeley, California, speed is the generic slang term for any drug that wakes you up and makes your mind go faster…crystal meth is a speed, so is cocaine… so are a few forms of pills known also as uppers, although doing all the slang terminology for this would take a whole post… I mean, technically, even coffee is a speed, and some people used to call Folgers instant coffee ‘kitchen crank… and crank is another slang word for meth… which brings us back to speed… which kills… and was a bad Keanu Reeves movie… which is funny because I am now playing a game called Game of War on the iPad, and my avatar looks like Keanu
Well, this has been very helpful.
I am just here to educate and amuse
I only did a quick google search while NSA wasn’t looking, but this was a whole lecture.
I get carried away
Artmetric System Chapter 3: Time. (determines time wasted online).
Measured in comments. 100 Comments = 1 WastedHour. 1/10 Comment = 1 Ha!
40,000 Comments = 1 GuinnesRecord
are we at 40 yet???
Not yet. We will be, eventually.
spam
well that is just hurtful
Sorry – I’d thought you’d just say Ha! and move on 🙂
well you thought wrong, Mr. Man!
Artmetric System Chapter 2: Craziness:
Measured in Cracksquirrels. Less than 1 Cracksquirrel = normal. 100 Cracksquirrels = Art. 10000 Cracksquirrels = 1 Crackelephant.
dude… I need a crack elepahant so bad…
dude, that thing is so dangerous. It would totally waste you.
but I could really use the slower, plodding approach to problems, the sheer power and strength to bulldoze through problems, and the fact that they never forget…
That’s regular elephants. Crackelephants are like cracksquirrels with more mass and less hair.
Oh… Well forget that then
@adamjasonp …. howdy howdy dude… still here.
wait… did I just type howdy doody here or somewhere else???
Yes, you did.
which one… I answer these in the little drop down menu because I can’t do it in the actual blog comments… too confusing,.
The drop down is the one that is not showing comments and replies I get. But sometimes they show up and sometimes they don’t so I never know for sure and it’s been going on all week.
my whole life is like that
Mine too, which is why I’m still here.
yay