I want to break the all-time record for the most comments on a WordPress blog post.
*** PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS POST ***
Okay, some of you will see this as a shallow attempt on my part to bump up my stats.
And I’m not saying you are wrong.
But here’s the thing… oh, thing, I missed you, where have you been?
I have always said that I have the best commenters on WordPress. I have two posts that have over 1,000 comments on them… True, half of those are my return answers to comments, because I always answer my comments, but still… And I will even go so far as to admit that my comment sections… OUR comment sections… are sometimes the funniest part of my posts. Are you happy now?
But this all has me wondering what the record for number of comments on one post actually is. I want to see if we can break it. Just for the fun of it. We will all be part of a social media experiment. We will all go down in the history books as record breakers. We can amaze and astound the WordPress overlords and maybe have them take notice of us.
And it will be fun.
Oh, and I am a little disappointed that only one person even commented on that cute picture of me as a baby in the last post I did, so here is your chance to make it up to me…
Pouring My Art Out 
It’s always darkest just before dawn.
That might not be true
The early bird gets the worm. (I think I might have done this already, but now I am finding it hard to stop)
What if you are early but you hate worms?
sleep later.
I always do
Into every life a little rain must fall.
that better be rain
Not every cloud has a silver lining.
to rain on my parade
April showers bring May flowers. What do Mayflowers bring?
Pilgrims?
yay! I knew you would get it.
I am not always not smart
The lights are on but no one is home.
and the bulb is pretty dim
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.
or think
33,202 Moving on up! Wait, what if they don’t count all comments. Like the the ones that don’t relate, or make sense, or anything. Then there is probably only about 10 comments on this post…(and they are all mine) bahahahahahaha!
yeah… because all yours make sense…
of course they do! and maybe not ALL of them, (to everyone, obviously I understand them all!) but at least 10
I should go through all my old posts and just cut and paste all the comments into this post.
It makes me smile and happy that you agree with me! 🙂
as well it should
How did I miss the big dog post? Oh I know, I was too excited to check the progress here! Koff Koff. Good in dusty down there now……
Thank you, Pigpen.
33,333. That’s a nice round (?) number. Once we get there, can we stop, or will 35,000 be the next milestone to this never-ending story?
50,000 is next Doobs! We must have the record, now we just need to make sure we have an unbeatable lead!
Just shoot me now.
HA No such luck Mr. Ipostedthefirstcommentonthepostthatneverends!
yeah… you started all this.
I love it when people whine… I did half of these by myself.
I’m not whining. I’m just begging for this to end.
I feel that way sometimes…
TRA LA LA LA LA!!! ( I am skipping and leaving a dusting of rose petals in my wake)
Are you a flower girl at a wedding or just some strange, little fairy?
fair question
fancy
Yes Doobs. Yes I am. (actually the image in my mind at the time was a melding of the two)
uncanny
maybe with a little red riding hood tossed in..
sweet
That might be one of the snaffu criteria that they will call it on. However, even if all your replies were eliminated I still think we got it. I don’t see how they could discredit your replies either. unless it was a “stand-by” *sigh*, ooooOOOOOoooooo, or the like.
I shouldn’t be penalized for being polite.
BANG!
whoops
What is carpal tunnel syndrome when compared with being a part of history.
you know how Arts brain works. See how 3 has all those curvy lines? Not a straight on on the number. So clearly it is a nearly round number. Like 0. or 9….. see?
Art’s brain works? Wow. Since when?
It is squirrel powered
It looks like a bunch of butts turned sideways.
It never ends, but we try to have reasonable goals to reach… one at a time.
So the next one is 33,334?
the obvious next step for the small-minded visionary
But you said, “one at a time.”
don’t try to blame this on me.
Well, as I was saying on that other post, before I was so rudely interrupted 🙂 , while I would love to have had a horse at some point, the closest I’ve ever come is my big 90-lb black German Shepherd Riggsie. When he stood on his hind legs, he was about a foot taller than me. It’s very hard to firmly say “Sit” to a dog when you have to look UP at him.
(Now you’re 1 closer to 40,000 – I’m really trying to do my part.)
I don’t have a place for a horse, but I would love to have one. Horses are so cool. And so are big dogs.
When I make my first couple million, I will buy a farm with horses and dogs and you can come visit. I’ll bake cookies.
2 closer to 33,333 (well, actually, 3 closer if you count this reply). Go Team!
yay… cookies, comments and horsies!!!
And congrats on hitting 33,333! So glad I could help – makes me feeling like my internet time is somewhat useful. Next stop – 35,000.
at least.
BTW, I’ve noticed that once typed, entering a comment is taking an unusually long time. Are you overwhelming the WP servers?
We have been doing that for a while. We had to switch the settings on the post to put the comment box at the top, or people would take hours to get down to it.
I wondered about that. I couldn’t imagine myself having to get past 33,333 other comments in order to leave mine!
We try to be user friendly.
Or blogger friendly.
within reason
Of course.
Just making sure
Naturally.
no artificial ingredients
Of course not. Bloggers are very particular.
and peculiar
But worth it.
well of course
But, then, of course there are other bloggers who may not be worth it and who would deserve having to scroll through [are we up to 35,000 yet?] comments in order to leave theirs.
Life is like a box of comments…
Sure is.
yup
You would have to have a place for at least 2 horses. They don’t like to be alone. Herd animal dontchaknow.
I herd that somewhere
You insulted the worlds oil companies???
I have pissed off all the most dangerous people and organizations at one time or another.
Well well well. wasn’t that a nice little banter! Seriously funny. I don’t understand how each one can amuse me more. I think you know who I am talking about. It’s interesting that all the fun takes place while Art has me dusting the lowest layers of the lair isn’t it? hmmmmm…..
What you clean for him?
Clean? Me? No no no! I am in charge of dusting. Just one of my minion duties. I make sure it is good and dusty. That way I can tell if someone has been there, or if I am being followed. Can’t be too careful in the secret evil lair you know…. Trent does some cleaning I believe….. mmmpfff! 🙂
Julie dusts in the same sense as a crime scene tech dusts for fingerprints… you end up with more dust, not less.
We all have our chores to do… I have to make all the plans for world domination…
hmmm….. you know I’m German…
I think I did
You know my eyes are blue? Or green? or grey? Oh nevermind!
Or that my hair is REALLY long?
Mine used to be
Mine do that too
I am American. Of German heritage.
And my name is Herman Geritage…
yea, so we should plot together then….
I can always use another plotter
I wish we could flip this thing upside down every other day.
Oh hi – found this blog via the now infamous Doobster418 🙂
yay… welcome… to history… sort of… maybe…
Hey, did you see that, everybody? Now I’m not only famous (with an International Doobster418 Day named after me), I’m infamous Woo hoo!
or inflamous… ha!
That comment really burns me up!
I was going more for inflamed as in a puffy skin rash… but either way…
And 33,002!
My work is done. Now I need to do my actual work.
ok… me too
oh yeah
It’s probably more now
one would hope so
33153
I think it’s a pretty good number to include in your numbers post.
ooohhh… not as good as 33,333…
and not as good as 333,333
not as good, no
This is where we should be doing that thing, instead of doing it elsewhere.
do it…
I’m doing it right now. We should get Trent to join
three way… so to speak
The more the merrier
I think we lost everybody else… and I need to do some stuff too
Okthxbye
…ooo000ooo…
oh?
yeah
Now this is as good place as any to ask: How come I have to work on Doobster Day?
Because he hasn’t been assassinated yet…
Is this a roundabout way of ordering your minions?
not at all
Oh… I was just… nevermind then.
I never do mind
Shall I resume assassinations then?
that is always an option… for advancement
And also good against overpopulation
word
love
(1000 points if you get the reference)
I don’t… how many points is that?
999 points
like a hedgehog
I googled hedgehogs, and they actually have 5000-7000 points
you might be overthinking my point
I may be, but I just wanted to google hedgehogs.
now I want to do it too
Did you? How was it?
I don’t know… I forgot what we were talking about
I GOT IT X!!!! Say the word and be like me!!!!!! YAY!!!! a buncha points for me!!!!
……………………oooooooooo0000000000000000000ooooooooooo………………
go me, go me, go me (happy dance) It is hard to get a Beatles reference by me X
we have a winner
Yes! Say the word and be like Julie! 1,000 points for you!
now she is all pointy
You Americans. Work too hard. Come to the socialist side, X, join us and our abundance of days off. Doobster Day is practically a week long affair up here.
Yes… a week long… unfortunately the days only have one hour of sunlight, so it goes by quick.
I’m more socialist than you know, Trent. Practically all my human part if socialist.
I see. So, you’re Stephen Harper, our Prime Minister, eh?
All right, listen up everybody. The above is a piece of humour that only true Canadians could ever understand. So if there are any true Canadians hereabouts, I want you to stand on your chairs and salute me right away, using whatever appendage you wish. I’m not picky.
Umm, my cat just stood up and raised her tail…
Run, X, run!
Why, I ain’t afraid of no Canadians. Or you think my cat is possessed by Stephen Harper??
Stephen Harper may be lurking in the bushes… cats hate that guy.
Or maybe it’s the Bush family that is lurking in Stephen Harper.
Oh crap… you may be on to something.
HA!
I think you Canadians are just too polite to not elect people like Rob Ford and Harper
We are also famously tolerant and really dumb.
it is not easy to be famous for that
Have you ever met a Kardashian?
no, but I have met some huge asses in my day
Dumb? Have you seen our Congress?
Not in person, no
I don’t think there are a lot of actual persons in congress
you have a point there
since I got the point, you only get 998 points then
well that sucks
998 is still nothing to sneeze at.
no it is not
What if we cough at it?
infect it with Ebola?
we’re talking about your 998 points. Do you really want to infect them with Ebola?
oh… wait… no…
I try not to look. They seem like a fun bunch, really, but terribly in need of a good drunken orgy.
they have plenty of those… they just need to invite some other people
Oh, I bet they can always get a drunken orgy when they need one. And those 5-6 week long recesses can get pretty boring and lonely…
They need to move to Canada during the breaks… they would last like 67 years.
ship them off for the polar winter, you mean?
whenever it stays sunny longest… and keeps them busy
But I don’t want them to get too comfortable.
Hell is all booked up.
They should pop by this comment thread, it’s like a virtual orgy.
we do need some celebrity visitors… ooooohhhhh… what if we have a ‘impersonate a celebrity’ day?
Or to stop letting Americans in
We have visas. And sometimes guns.
yeah we do
eeeeewwwwwwwwww
what about beavers?
In Canada, beavers constitute our secret service. They are watching you.
when I am sleeping?
No, at that point they are gnawing on you.
gnaw
repossessed maybe
That can’t be, my cat was paid off years ago.
he takes bribes???
You’re insulting my cat. It’s a “she”, not “he”!
that is an insult
and I think I may have insulted your dog, too.
she is not that sensitive
run, Forest
My dog just raised her leg… HA!
Maybe you should have walked him.
she is a her… which makes it funnier
maybe your dog is gender-ambiguous.
hey… it’s California
is s/he a vegetarian and a hippie?
obviously
Is that how you get elected?
what is the rest?
an android.
oh
My guess is that is is a darn good thing you are not an American then Trent. I think they would have to put some more hours into the standard day/week so you could work.
And you can’t ride a moose on the freeway here
WHAT?? You mean I could get ticketed for that??
oh yeah
I meant he works like a hundred hours a week now, as a Canadian.. If he were American, by his own description, he would have to work like 300 hours.
But not nearly as hard.
I don’t think I could handle that…
that would be the first thing you didn’t try to handle…
On second or third thought, please feel free to read the comments I’ve left, despite their silly and random attempts to help further inflate this wonderful post’s comment count.
This is exactly how this post got where it is today… whereverthehell that is…
Welcome. You will fit in just fine.
And that is why Julie is one of my favorite minions ever… now let’s get us to 33,333 comment today!
Please disregard the comment below, as it is silly and shouldn’t be read by anyone.
You fit in her frighteningly well… I would see a medical/psychological professional… or just sign up to be a minion right now…
I sought professional help once. It was a professional mime. Guy never said anything useful.
HA!
I saw this thread and thought to myself, “Self, I shall not fall for what is a shameless attempt at bumping stats and OH MY GOD WHY AM I WRITING IN THE COMMENT BOX. I’M STILL WRITING.”
Uh… you might get a kick out of my ‘About’ page… I tell people not to fall for anything I do…
Is reading the “About” page like reading the instruction manual before putting something together? If so, I don’t do it.
I like to be reckless with my commenting.
No… it is just another funny post I did… but I thought it tied in with your other comment
I have complied with your wishes and disregarded this comment.
I did too… for a while… and then I undisregarded it.
I did not know WordPress has an “Undisregard” button
I have a special keyboard
Does it have a Take Over The World button?
you know it does… doesn’t always work…
Is there a button Fix The “Take Over The World button”?
no
Damn it. Is there at least a Stupid Computer Won’t Work Damn It button?
the ‘buy a new one now’ button?
I’m surprised every computer doesn’t already have one of these.
me too
We should patent it and get rich for the second time
can we do that?
Which part, patent or getting rich for the second time?
either… both
Thank you for your compliance.
I hope these sub comments count to the overall comments on this post.
They would count just like any normal comments on this post, except there aren’t any normal comments on this post.
exactly
I would like to be the first person to post a completely normal comment on this post, except the voices in my head can’t ever agree on what reasonable thing to say.
We have had a few normal comments, but they get lost in all the glitz and glamor…
you could try posting a hundred of comments, and maybe a few will turn out to be normal
I did that already
I think you even do that with your posts 🙂
HA!
this whole thing is one big out-of-order, no-context, mixed-up-comment-thread mess…
Who needs context when you have THE ALMIGHTY CAPS-LOCK BUTTON.
that’s the spirit!
Welcome. Hmmm…. you’re wondering why YOU’RE still writing? Art has responded 15,000+ times here! What is wrong with that man?
I have stamina… and spunk… and grit… and determination… and no life…
I stopped reading after spunk.
I bet you did
That makes no sense.
good
Fifteen thousand times. That’s like, more than ten, right? I have a problem counting past twelve without taking off my shoes and socks.
and pants… HA!
Taking off my pants is only for those math problems that involve “extra counting.”
right… I can type faster with no pants too
I just count my butt hair. I can’t believe I just said that… it’s Art’s fault! He’s corrupting me!
yeah… I’m doing that
Maybe I’m not a great man but I damn well want to break the record. ~ Roger Maris
Good luck 😉
Thank you for helping.
Okay, I digress – and I barely even know what that word means, but I’m doing it anyway. Roger Maris is the all-time single season homerun record holder. Period. Barry Bonds? Cheater. Mark McGwire? Cheater. Sammy Sosa? Cheater. No, the record still belongs to a scrappy dude who clubbed 61 in ’61. I know, I know, he did it in more games than the Babe needed to club his 60, so if there’s any doubt as to who holds the records, it’s Maris or Ruth. All others need not apply. There, I’ve been waiting 30,000 plus comments for someone to bring this up, so that I could have my say. Phew. What a relief. I may finally retire to Minion Pastures to drink beet juice.
How do you know about our baseball heroes… (that is baseball, right?)… the only thing Canadians ever club is baby harp seals…
That’s it, we’re bringing our clubs down south. And Roger Maris is my hero!
It is nice to have a hero… even if you had to go to another country to get them…
Well, he’s no Dan Akroyd…
no he is not
See… now this appears to be the point at which you completely throw the context of comments completely out the window… I can’t decide if this is a necessary procedure or sheer genius. It’s really hard to tell. As a Head Minion, I commend you for your foresight and impeccable mien.
When 6 or more people are all typing at me, I can either go with: HA, yup, sigh and so on… or just go out of context
A true magician never reveals his secrets.
or he has none to reveal
The greatest trick of all.
exactly
You said it all. You said it right. You said it well 🙂
Now his head is going to swell up again.
Baseball does that to us, then just as quickly deflates us. As an Arizona Diamondback fan, I know of what I speak 😉
I don’t have the organized sports gene… but the San Diego Padres are the team that puts the ‘EEEEEEEEEE’ in inconsistency…
Truth there! But they have beautiful Petco Park which I love to visit and, of course, they have gorgeous San Diego in general. My men (husband & 3 baseball playing sons) and I think that the team doesn’t feel the pain of loss quite as much in such a sweet and abundant environment. Oh, they have real good eats there too 🙂
It pays to look on the bright side.
Truth! I’m already dreaming of a bright and fresh start called Spring Training 2015. Hope spring…s eternal 🙂
I always look forward to spring… for the flowers…
Flowers, my favorite ❤
I put a lot of flower pictures on this here blog.
And aliens. A lot of aliens ⎝⓿⏝⓿⎠
Well, I write Sci-fi… so I sort of need the aliens…
I like to blather!
rinse, blather, and repeat
Blather on…. 🙂
Blather up… oh yeah… 5 points for the baseball pun!
I can’t believe I dropped that ball! Yours was a real hit 🙂
It was a little low and to the outside…
But you went out swinging…
Yeah, but it left a foul taste in my mouth.
Now I need to take a short stop from this discussion. Good night 🙂
Okay… you are out… or I might have gone with: safe at home…
Safe at home ❤ You win the Series 🙂 Congratulations, World Champion!
really… because I wasn’t feeling it in my bottom half.
LOL! Well, baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical. ~ Yogi Berra
He does math like me.
If you keep this up you are gonna have the idiots pulling in and commenting soon.
Half the comments here are made by idiots… by which I mean that half of them are me answering comments… because I always do.
Suitable then.
Pleased to join in then 😉
It is a pleasure to have you.
Thank you Sir 🙂
no… thank you…
no …thank you…
Is this legal in the terms and conditions of setting the record? Could do it JUST by doing this – like a swing – obviously…
We still have no idea what the actual record that we are breaking really is… so we already won… maybe
Terribly unprofessional really…I am rethinking my affiliation to this post. WTF is with the AFF words today?
what are AFF words?
words beginning with aff
Oh… we affect such affable words when they are affordable.
WONDERFUL! *claps hands rapidly in glee*!!!
Thank you, Affendi.
Welcome! You appear to fit right in as well!
And it is not easy to live up to our exacting standards!!!
I have been seeking this my entire existence.
A place to call my own fitting in spot.
That makes me feel all warm and squishy inside…
eeewwe….mean like the bunny? Except his warm and squishy’s were on his outsides.
I try not to let that happen
Of course…that would be – eeewe
yup
amusing though
hopefully
considerably – I think
erroneously- I believe
I cant remember
spam
Your existence can now rest easy. You are among friends. There are a good deal of people here who understand you, and the rest either want to or pretend to…. 🙂
that was a little cynical but more or less true… and I just did a new post… we are going to get this bad boy up to 33,333 today!
We’re going for the numbers here. Idiots are more than welcome to participate.
Encouraged, even…
Chased and physically forced to participate, even…
uh oh
The more the merrier.
within reason
Not necessarily – we’re talking about idiots, remember?
I never remember anything about idiots
Just remember, if you build it, they will come.
can I make them build it?
Sure, they’re idiots.
oh… right
Just don’t tell them they’re idiots. Idiots are notoriously touchy.
wouldn’t they forget about it?
They’re idiots, not amnesiacs.
but they get it mixed up
right, cause they’re idiots…
There are a lot of those out there
Let’s not name any names.
no… he knows who we mean…
I already don’t
but he does
Splendid! 😀
yeah… we are never going to run out of idiots..
Nope…
they breed like rabbits… stupid rabbits…
HEY!!! I happen to like rabbits…AND I have an affinity and bias toward Idiots.
I saw a baby bunny on the road today – he looked like he was sleeping on his back.
He was not.
I also like bunnies… and trust me… I am surrounded by idiots… and I love them all.
I feel ever more at home. It is not allowed – to call bunnies stupid and then say you like them. They are most intelligent creatures. Just think about what their primary focus in life is? If they were our size..they would have overtaken the world…pity about them cars.
I just do the best I can with what I have… just like most bunnies…
BUNNIES!!
or crack squirrels
I erred here didn’t I…
It has been crack squirrels all along. well we see lots of them along the side of the road too. Not quite as noticeable thought – kinda all coiled up.
Ha… like a car could hit one of my crack squirrels.
– my son was amused by said bunny…perhaps he and you have an affinity?
Depends on his age… assuming you are saying I might have an affinity with your son and not the dead bunny… but all kids love me… I ever wrote… and did the artwork… for that children’s book over there in my sidebar.
My punctuation will never cease to confuse. Unintentional – of course.
12. He found it hilarious when I said the bunny was suntanning. To be fair – it DID look funny. So I leave you to decide the relevance of the affinity.
I am pretty much still a 12-year-old boy at heart.
Aren’t we all…
good answer
I am winning the gold in a bit!
Pays to have a goal.
I used to tell my kids those animals on the road were just sleeping. Got too tired to make it all the way across. Lookit that one he was so tired his guts came out!
That takes some serious relaxing.
This is the thing. Th 5yr old cannot see them yet, tied down strategically behind the passenger chair for protection from these very such events.
There is a reason they are still short.
I actually DID L.O.L… Ta!
yay
your welcome
spam
and it rhymes with spam
so do lots of things
…. I play this in the car with my five year old – to distract her from the bunnies…and the crack squirrels that avoided the same fate as the un-crack squirrels. At least I am now clear that the poor blighters are not crack squirrels – but the thing is – I would feel better if they would have been crack squirrels – as then atleast they would have died quickly.
well, they lived quickly, that’s for sure…
spot on..never saw it coming . see.
they are just a blur
They bought it for a while. See? He was sleeping there yesterday and today he is gone! He musta woke up and went on his way. I think they were a little disappointed when they figured it out, but understood. I imagine that will be the story they will tell their little ones one day… Ahhh, it warms a mother’s heart…
beautiful… like when they find out Santa is a lie… sniff…
Um. Too late, I think. Head Minion here, informing you that the Seriously Trapezoidal Union of Piddly Idiots and Dunces is unamused that smart people have started showing up here.
We do not discriminate!
But we do occasionally obfuscate…
not on the first date I don’t
Uh, I don’t understand all that. Why was I not advised of this union?!
It is all made clear when you fill out the forms to become a minion… and do the training… before you get your coveralls…
When do we qualify to receive the package?
Is it shipped or downloaded?
There… you just passed all the tests and qualifications… you expressed an interest in becoming a minion… so you are one… welcome to the secret lair of our evil empire bent on dominating the world through this blog. Your only duties consist of occasionally coming back to this post and either randomly replying to comments form people or just doing weird, rambling monologues. Trent, my head minion, invented this thing where he tried to seduce himself… it wasn’t pretty, but it was funny.
I shall attempt to comply with all requirements.
you already did pretty much
Hell I am good!
We only recruit the best and brightest.
stop it…I already think far too much of myself
I like to build people up… put them on a pedestal… makes it more fun when I kick the legs out from under them… pull the rug out… etc… I am like a microcosm of America.
I think you forgot to pay your dues. We accept payment in liquid or solid form, but I would advise against using the conventional mail. Also, our supreme leader Art tends to skim off the top. He is a harsh, demanding overlord but has the moustache of a god.
I will be around in about 84 hrs. Dues in hand. large or small…never mind… I will bring the large. ‘Tash is all good – specifically for skimming. I just wanna know why their is no further growth under the chin?
I mix it up now and then, but I use the same pictures a lot.
OK… I shall bear this in mind
I am in constant flux… dynamic… moving ever forward… while still seeming to remain absolutely motionless. It’s a gift.
Akin to the ability to remain 12 indefinitely. Except 12 yr olds are in complete reverse…. completely motionless and able to appear dynamic and in constant flux…ALWAYS bloody MOVING!
Those sneaky varmints!
LOL – to all. I shall pay a visit again – sometime.
Thanks for the laugh etc . 😀
You are always welcome.
Ta much ~
yup
Now that is a mystery that can only be revealed once you have paid your dues and worn the honorary ‘stache as part of your extended initiation.
Oh… right… I forgot about the wearing of the pseudo-stache… that is more between you minions… I can’t be involved in any hazing rituals.
Pardon me as I streak the quad.
As long as that isn’t a euphemism for something unseemly…
Ethically speaking this could be considered self promotion…
In light of the the nature of this post and requirements for meeting my curiosity –
Done and dusted – please see here for evidance:
http://idiotwriting.wordpress.com/2014/02/05/oh-to-be-a-bard/
Or is it a specific ‘stache we must adorn?
I think that more than lives up to any expectations we might have had.
Pleased you condone the magic.
Oh, I do.
Oh splendid. Jolly good. Fabulous. Wondrous. SUPA! what.
Bloody elementary.
What. Please don’t forget the ‘what’.
pip pip and cheerio
Ta
plumb pudding
little jack horner
I don’t trust that guy
anyone who sticks his fingers in their food before eating it is dubious at best.
who knows where that thumb has been?
where WOULD it have been. I WAS lying when I said we were all 12 yr olds at heart…explain please?
spam… and I can’t explain that
This is up to you.
I caved in to your shameless self-promotion, an act which I quite enjoy and often couple with coupling.
There is no such thing as shame in self-promotion… I think I will give myself a promotion right now.
I have poem about shame – somewhere…
want me to go look and we can continue the parade of coupling?
Just keep it PG… more or less…
I am all about PG.
Glad to hear it… although the rules are relaxed a little on this particular post.
…read it again and changed my mind…oops.
ha
not so PG as it turns out – plus – it really is shameful of me
wait… what are we talking about now?
changing my mind about being all about PG
I say just see how it turns out… I mean, I did try to get this gang of mental delinquents to help me write a porno script once on a blog post… I mean, a tasteful, humors, sci-fi/action/adventure/western porno… but still.
Its does not fit here. It is – just a poem dear.
So an all things encompassed for all tastes thing.
Doable.
hmmmmmmmmmmm
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah HA!
well put
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
yup
ya
yeah
Couple on, dude.
Yeah – dude! Couple on.
Oh….. me?
this is all on you two
Just a couple us?
just a cupful of us…
handy
dandy
Fred
Astaire?
No – just Fred.
I will settle for that
Fred likes to be settled too
that ain’t what I heard
they were telling stories
they do that
…WT? Of ALL the Freds – we get Astaire. LMAO!
We have flinstone, mercury, kruger, ..um..
I panicked… I have actually done a whole bunch of funny Fred Flintstone art here…
We are just revealing our knowledge of the music industry (age) if we know Fred Astaire.
Fred is what I call family members when I get tangled on their names.
When you said ‘Astaire’ – an image of you dancing with an umbrella bounced into my head. Brilliant.
If I say Flintstone, do you see me dancing with a saber tooth cat???
In your leopard print?
Probably…. not
too bad
are we doing couple therapy now???
It is all more or less true
I left my dues in the secret litter box mail……
a secret litter box mail?>??
I’m pretty sure this whole place is a litter box!
well that stings a little
I think you need to edit the title again, Art. Change WordPress Record to Guiness World Record. I mean, screw WordPress. They haven’t exactly been supportive of the cause. Know what I mean? Besides, I bet you could draw in even more victims, er, I mean *participants* if you tell them you’re going for the World Record.
If I can’t get people to comment with regular begging and stunts and humor, I’m not going to bribe them with fame.
Please. We live in the age of internet fame!
I have my limits, my pride, my line I won’t cross…
HAHAHA! XD
yup
yeap. Did you happen to see the post where he interviews Doobster?? He has his limits alrighty. We haven’t seen them yet but they are there somewhere…
we all need them
I did. I thought it was fantastic. All except the part where Doobster got my blog wrong. XD
there were mix ups… life is messy
indeed! I don’t blame Doobster. It’s hard to keep your place in your comments section
we are all lost… and found… and searching and finding…
You could write a whole song about your comments section.
now that is an idea
it does have that going for it.
indeed
Holy crap, I have missed this commenting haven of yours.
Dude… I do a post about it almost every week…
I know. I have sadly been absent. I’m still trying to figure out where I’m going to be in a few days, yo. With any (good) luck, we’ll be all sorted out soon, and I can take back my life, dammit!
Or get a new life… a better one… HA!!!
That is the plan, yes!
good
baby steps. I have a job I’m excited about. This is very, very good.
good good
Gee, Art, you never told us you might make this into a book someday. We ALL want to be famous, even if means becoming famous along with some of the reprobates who have commented here.
I will have you know that only the most select and exclusive reprobates frequent this post of ill repute!
My repute is definitely ill, but also tight and very cute.
please stop
I dunno, I thought that was pretty hot.
in a deep-fat-fried heat sort of way
Slurp slurp?
uh
Pass the syrup.
I passed it on the way here
This won’t hurt a bit.
nope
yep, I noticed that when we were doing our song and dance..
oh lord
I would have thought you caught a good glimpse during the streaking episode…
We were all too busy swooning
Hey, who are you calling a re-pro-bate… wait, what does that mean? Is it a good thing? Art, I need a dictionary! Also, please get a bouncer, who let smart people in here????
Not so smart, Trent. I left a whole chain of comments ON THE WRONG POST! That’s why this post isn’t at 50,000 comments yet. Sorry about that.
It takes a while to get settled in… Trent is my head minion, which means he greets people on this post even when I am not around.
This seems to me to be inexcusable! For shame!
I still get the stats… so it is all groovy…
Stats are for frogs.
and people who want to get published by a big publishing house someday…
You know that’s not true.
It says so in my ‘Idiots Guide To Getting Published’… it is just one more selling point.
Oh boy…
It says it
Just kidding, you’re all right. Let’s shoot for 50k and beyond, shall we? I think G might make commemorative thongs for the group. Talk about a party.
The Guinness record people will be checking us out some time in the next 2 to 6 weeks… so more is good.
Really? Are they actually checking it out? That would ah-maz-ing.
I signed us up… they will tell us if it is a quantifiable record, and if so, we get a certificate. And maybe in the book,
Fuck yeah! Oooooposss… sorry for the bad language. Better get us in the book Guinness, or I’m going to fuck some shit up, and piss in your beer!
and the bar drops one peg lower…
I’m going to piss in a Guiness once a minute for every passing hour that we don’t make it in the record book. That’ll show those limey bastards that we’re not to be trifled with. Unless they’re providing trifle. Then it’s fine.
or truffles
Schmack!
I’ve been waiting all night for that.
we all have
Ladies and gentlemen… schmack has entered the building.
and the lexicon
Actually, I was away working on a new post (which I accidentally closed out without saving, dammit, and now I have to redo it – told you I wasn’t too smart) and didn’t even see the prior comment, so my feelings didn’t get hurt, but would it have mattered anyway? It’s still one comment closer to the 50,000 – well, actually now it’s 2 comments closer to the 50,000. Go Team!
PS: I’ll pass on the thong.
Dang it. Well, one more thong for me. So… what are you posting about?
A follow-up to my post about Freshly Pressed (http://cordeliasmomstill.com/2014/09/26/always-a-bridesmaid/ ) – thank you very much for asking so I could slip that little link right on in there.
But darn-it-all, I just accidentally deleted it again!
Oh boy…
Well I will have to check out this post so that I can say something totally irrelevant and slightly immature. Still better than Art could do! Oh crap – don’t tell him I said that. I sometimes engage in back-room double-crossings and minion revoltings, but it’s all in good taste.
Thanks for the comments on my blog. Of course, they don’t count toward the 50,000 for this post, so we’ll have to catch up. FYI: it’s really hard to insult or upset me – I raised three kids.
ooohhh… don’t leave a challenge like that hanging here…
Damn it… well, I’m raising three kids right now, so… I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Huh????
I only have two kids… but I don’t raise them… they are feral.
What on earth are you going on about? Your kids seem perfectly respectable to me. I don’t know what your excuse is, wolf-man.
they are so smart they raise themselves
Okay, wolf-man.
if this is just an excuse to moon me…
I am ALWAYS mooning you.
I forgot
you suck at this whole minion thing
Hey! I take offence!
I take defence
To keep out de germans?
somebody has to
I dunno, there’s nothing like a hot authoritarian Chancellor to get the blood boiling.
spoken like a true Nazi
I cannot believe you just went there.
me?
a link to a post that no longer exists… if it ever did… this is so existential…
I just checked it – it’s still there. Or, did you mean links are not allowed and you’re deleting it?
no… you said the post got deleted…
And in trying to reply to this comment, I accidentally replied to your earlier comment. Oh well, another one closer to the goal.
and now you see why editing this all into a book is going to be challenging
Oh, I see now, you were trying to find the post I was working on at the moment and which I then accidentally deleted, not the post to which I linked in my former comment, which link does, in fact, work (hint, hint to everyone out there in the blogosphere).
Hell, I can’t even find the post I was working on. I’ve typed it twice, and accidentally deleted it twice, and now I’ve had enough for tonight, so I’m going to have some wine and take myself to bed. Hopefully, by tomorrow you will have gotten those 50,000 comments and won’t need me any more.
wow… you have managed to make things even more confusing here…
And my job for this evening is done. Good night, all.
thanks and good night
past tense…
again with the boiling blood Trent?? It is kinda starting to gross me out a little bit you know?
He is one sick puppy
Sorry dude. I also find it a tad gross.
Tad Gross… that could be your new nickname…
We do this one comment at a time… day in and day out…
I don’t know how you do it – I’m already going nuts trying to answer comments on three different blogs at the same time. Time for wine.
I have like 6 people typing at me just on that one post…
It helps if you are nuts….. a bit of a benefit, gives you an edge.
yes… it helps if your nuts have and edge… or something…
I would like to order my thong with full coverage in the rear please…
I can’t even wrap my head around that…
Oh booooo……
ha
I know you are some kind of ‘bate’… and I am supposed to be the only smart person in here…
I still do not know if I’ve been insulted, complimented, or defiled.
I can do all three at once… I’m that good
Dude. Sick.
yup
Ok. Just so y’all know how much I care (Trent) I went back to the beginning. Stopping to read a bit here and there, I gotta tell ya, there is some really funny stuff that went on here. There are just so very many really funny people that stopped by to contribute, and I was so new I didn’t know if I was allowed to just talk to anybody right off, so I guess I mostly just laughed. A lot.
Ok so as far as I can tell the first comment was from Doobster418. his comment??
January 23, 2014 at 4:26 pm
“Comment”
Yep that’s right. The first comment of thousands. Seriously. Arthur needs to sort this out and do something with it. The material here is priceless!
I always say I have the best commenters anywhere.
Doobster! Of course! Interesting. I’m going over to his blog right now and am going to say “comment”. Wonder if he’ll get it…
Me? I was the first? I was the one who started it all. With simply the word, “Comment”? I’m so proud. Do I get an award or something? #1 out of 32,626. Yay!
Art, you need to give Doobster an award!
you have a point
You get to be the first person quoted in the book if we ever make this a book… or a movie…
Ooh. Do I get to do an on-air interview and read my comment, “Comment,” aloud?
I could interview you… is the ‘doobster’ thing a pot reference or am I just having flashbacks?
Well, it’s a play on my real world name…sort of a nickname I got when I was younger. And, yes, it’s that other thing, too.
My nickname in those days was Buzz… which was like naming your dog ‘Bark’ of ‘Woof’…
Ha! My father used to call me “Butch.” I think he thought I was a dog.
Or you do the sun dance… HA
I like that a person with a name that seems to be a categorical and enthusiastic inference of the positive influences of smoking marijuana cigarettes is the first person to leave a comment on this post.
There is a certain irony there… well done giving the Doobs his credit today!
I try to spread the love
By the way… Julie!
You are, incidentally, one of the pre-eminent commenters anywhere. We loves our Julie!
yes… we do…
That’s only cause I had the stamina to go all the way back and try to figure out the first comment ever. I have since figured out (especially here) that I can talk to who ever I want. I love you guys ( you know who you are) Y’all crack me up!
I wish everybody had that attitude.
PS. I am not positive that Doobs was the first one. I’m pretty sure he was, but I don’t think I would bet my child’s life on it. Mr Wonderful’s life? Sure, why not, but my kids? Naw. I could be incorrect.
You know I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken. Oooh!! Idea for a new string!
go for it…
And we love our Julie! Place wouldn’t be the same w’dout you.
She is fun and sweet and finds out stuff for me… and keeps the place dusty
What does the “pingback” stuff mean??
it means somebody did a link to your blog somewhere.
Pingback: 50. Support | The Gratitude Challenge
wheeeeeeeeee
Love the pictures of the crack squirrels with facial hair on Seot 21 , 2014 posts
are you using this post to commemorate my other post???
Ummm, if that’s not allowed, then feel free to delete it.
no… it is brilliant… I may need to expand upon that idea.
Ummm, OK
I have no idea how that would work yet…
we tried that already Arthur… it got even more confusing…
oh… right…
Okay, well, I had to do this. In my opinion, this is one of the top 10 songs of the 80’s. Who writes like this? –
With a torch in your pocket
And the wind at your heels
You climbed on the ladder
And you know how it feels
To get too high
Too far
Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon
Unicorns and cannonballs
Palaces and piers
Trumpets, towers and tenements
Wide oceans full of tears
Flags, rags, ferryboats
Scimitars and scarves
EVERY PRECIOUS DREAM AND VISION UNDERNEATH THE STARS
You climbed on the ladder
With the wind in your sails
You came like a comet
Blazing your trail
Too high
Too far
Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
You called?
I did
Well, I had to do one more… Peter Himmelman, another 80’s artist, but one that never hit it big. I can’t figure out why. He was awesome, and so is this song:
stop it
But he rocks!
that’s why they sell CD’s
you just bogged down the whole thing with 20 minutes of video
But they’re awesome videos… well, the songs are.
They are okay…
They are awesome!
opinions are like… opinions…
I feel like maybe I already answered these when I was almost asleep… I wonder what this will look like on the post?
Weird.
am I?
An underrated classic… the stars are the greatest thing you’ve ever seen, and they’re there for you… I miss the good old days of REM:
stop it… let people find their own music…
Never!
this ain’t Utube… you tube…
Oh yeaaaaaah….
time……….
yup
Video pretty cheesy – hey, it’s old! – but I lose my shit when this song comes on in the bar:
… once again, the video clips just make the whole thing load slower for people
Oooooopssss…
yupssssssssssssss
I think I spelled that wrong.
maybe
I suppose you get escorted out of the bar when that happens.
He hires escorts everywhere he goes…
I think he doesn’t need to hire them, escorts just are naturally attracted to him.
I don’t see that happening…
Try your other identity
If that doesn’t help, remove sunglasses.
I can’t remove them…
I’ve seen your photos without the glasses. Does this mean you wear your face over your sunglasses?
It might
Not that I remember…
that narrows it down
You would if you’d stopped two drinks earlier.
I can honestly say that I never stop two drinks earlier.
It’s really hard to lie after 10 shots of Scotch.
It kind of depends on the scotch…
The only scotch I’m familiar with is the one that comes in clear plastic rolls.
ummmmmmmmmmmm
I sense your disagreement.
or confusion
Or both. I’m confused.
then my work is done
How much do you get paid for this work?
good question
You should refer it to your accountant
do we have one of those?
You have to ask your human resources minion.
I forget who that is
Then just assign a minion to that job.
Well, how busy are you right now?
I’m supposed to go to sleep then go to work.
As for minion duty, I’m in charge of security, assassinations, and backstabbing. Also putting things in a numerical order.
I thought you would be able to handle ten things.
I have other 6-7 other things besides minion duty
Well, I do want you all to have lives… sort of…
In a pinch, that stuff will do.
you could make a scotch patches of it like smokers do.
Can I douse them in liquid scotch first? I think that might help.
but stay away from open flame
I never spurn the benefits of a flaming scotchman.
or the advances of one either… (BAM… that is why I am the king)
Oh boy…
yup
They won’t hold, so you’d have to lick off the extra liquid scotch.
sure… why not
just be careful to not stick them to your tongue
that applies to a lot of things
that’s true.
yup
Agree.
without a doubt
I concur.
concurrently?
And simultaneously
bilingually?
Maybe.
sweet
The problem being?
was there a problem?
That’s the opposite of a problem.
The opposite of a problem attracts
…another problem?
that also works
that might actually work… and make us rich
I’m all for getting rich!
me too
I’m sure we can convince Trent to get rich, too.
I don’t know… he has principles
principles shminciples. When he’s rich, he’ll buy new ones.
once again, you make a good point
I can’t do much good, but point are my specialty
like a dog?
pinch is a cool word
Oh do tell…
I just did
It would, wouldn’t it
and hard to stand
that’s why it’s called hard liquor
one reason
I can’t think of 9 more.
is that all?
Yes. I can think of everything else.
phew
that is sad
Hee hee hee…
yup
ha
Alcohol is not funny. Unless you’re watching a drunk guy.
I think I am
heyyyyyy whhuuuuuuyooooo cowing dwunnnnk?
do we have no security on the door tonight?
i’mmmmmm rite herrrrrr.
invisible
Niwel here… I’m not going to say I’m drunk, but I am going to run my tongue over the keyboard for a bit and see what happens…. ahvohsd’fj’apsjf’pagj’pjagpjap’sjg’ajf’awjegjhaw’gja’lsjg’ashg’pahg’ah’gh’ajgjglajg’aj’jg’pjag’jajg’ajg’rj’a
The taste is awful. Someone bring me a crack squirrel skewer… hey that sounds pretty good. Although now that Art went and named the crack squirrels, it’s a little weird.
a little
Do crack squirrels dream of electric nuts?
mine don’t
Sushi. That’s what my ex-wife called me. Cold fish.
good……….
But I would have you know that I’m not a replicant.
You are irreplicatable
“I don’t know why he saved my life. Maybe in
those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life, anybody’s life. My life. All he’d wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going?
How long have I got? All I could do was sit there and watch him die.”
I still suspect X of being a Nexus-level replicant of some kind. Werid.
ok
Blade Runner!
gun runner… rum runner
Who said I’m a replicant? Who said there is anything human in me?
Not me, that’s for sure…
I have seriously doubts about your humanity, my man. Although I’d have no trouble shacking up with a replicant. Not that that’s an offer, it’s just an example!
I never plicanted… so how can I replicant?
I might also have gone with: Don’t be a replicant… be a replican!
Ooooooooo… that’s a good one.
which one?
It’s so hard to tell.
ain’t that the truth
My thong just snapped.
so did I
Do you think you could repair? Also, a good wash might be in order.
yup
If the FedEx guy passes out on your lawn, revive him with some moldy cheese and send him on his way.
I turn on the sprinklers
And hit me in the eye.
the brown eye?
Pink eye all the way, baby.
sigh
What is your position on replicant marriage? And, since my wife is 100% human, what is your position on human-replicant marriages?
Well, if I were Harrison Ford courting a robot Sean Young, I’d honestly have no trouble with such a union. I mean, that is one fine replicant right there. Now, if Mr. Ford is also a replicant, I think the forbidden nature of the union is quite diluted, and therefore less acceptable in my eyes. This leads me to the natural conclusion that all humans should marry robots.
I don’t look nearly as good as Sean Young, so you can stop courting me right now. And I doubt you look like Harrison Ford either.
We have certain anatomical traits in common… wait.. if you’re a replicant, couldn’t you look like Sean Young if you wanted to?
We don’t get to change our appearance at whim. You’re thinking of liquid Terminators.
I am thinking of them… now
That’s how they get to you.
seems like
Those guys are hot.
oh lord
Smokin.
I just quit a week ago… except for the E-cigs…
I hope your’e kidding.
no… why
I think they only like room temperature. They won’t survive in Canada.
We have room temperature here too!
yeah… if the room is a meat locker
Room temperature is relative. Much like its pimple-faced cousin, humidity.
It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility
It’s ain’t the years, baby, it’s the mileage.
it ain’t the ain’t, it’s the it’s
yeah, but your room temperature is 20 degrees, which is below freezing in the US.
or anywhere else, I would imagine
I think it’s only the US that still uses Fahrenheit
among other things we are behind in
The rest of the world is kilometers ahead of us.
they are grams better…
Maybe just a liter better.
we are leagues behind
It used to be cubits
20,000 cubits under the sea… I like the sound of that
That kind of sounds like a Noah’s Ark accident.
Like the titanic… with animals…
It’s relative!
no freezing my relatives
I thought it’s Celsius.
My least favorite vegetable
Most vegetables are my least favorite.
I hear you
oC
Celsius was my favorite Roman emperor
Did I just break your brain again?
it was already cracked
I meant Trent – and where is he?
he went beddy-bye
He didn’t even say goodbye. I’m hurt.
he sort of did… said it was late
it is, actually. It’s probably polar night in Canada already,
it might even be tomorrow
If it’s a polar night, it could last a few weeks or months, so tomorrow could be sometime in April
Trent is from the future!!!
You mean the socialist paradise that Obama and his Muslim commie liberals are trying to turn this country into?
I can’t wait!
Then tell Trent to prepare his flaming beaver army for an invasion.
He keeps the beavers burning
My brain enjoys a good swarthy beating now and then, although I usually engage in that by drowning it in both legal and unlegal substances of questionable repute and dubious effectiveness in combination.
your one track mind just derailed
As per usual.
slipped you mind and jumped your track
I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think this actually helps.
You are not a doctor, but you play one on TV…
I’m pretty sure I have, at some point.
I played doctor a lot… back in the day
On TV? or in the hospital?
Around town, mostly.
Well, I am a doctor, and I’m pretty sure it does.
Two out of three doctors agree… on almost everything…
they would end up as statues
but then they’ll crack
perfect place for them then
Aren’t you just a little bit worried by the prospect of crack terminators?
no… but the squirrels are
wait, there is something they’re afraid of?
yes… a crack shortage…
Does that mean a scarcity of cracks or shortness of them?
both
good question
He does when he is drunk… just ask him
I tried, but he was too drunk.
figures
but only attractive ones
yes… fill us in
We just got filled.
like spackle
but i don’t like spackle
but it removes cracks
From squirrels?
or fills in butt cracks
I’ll pass. I need my butt crack to pass stuff.
well then… pass the potatoes… HA!
I can try, but you won’t like them.
ouch
Hey, I think you should flip the comment order on this, Art. I wanna know who left the first comment – it would likely take forever to flip back. We should go back to the beginning and start over.
How would I do that?
I have no idea, but I think it’s doable if you edit the post maybe. It would be really really interesting.
the idea of putting all these in order seems like fun
It would be cool to see how this all started.
It is possible
I’m excited.
to………………
please try not to be
I think I just did a post and told people to comment… then I changed the name of the post after a few hours… I remember writing a poem with Hastywords… and some other stuff
But who were the first commenters? What did they say? Wouldn’t it be fun to reply to their comments from oh-so-long-ago? The mind boggles; the rest follows.
say……………..
Well scroll back and tell me what you find… we could do an historic retrospective post…
I tried. It’s impossible. There’s too many pages and takes too long to load them. It would take me a couple of hours to get all the way back to the beginning, maybe more.
nobody said it would be easy… I bet it would load faster if people stopped sticking movies in there… HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sigh
bammo
me! I think I was here from pretty much the beginning….
I think so too
and wouldn’t that make it impossible for most people to leave new comments?
I think they still could, they just wouldn’t be able to see them easily when they entered them. Maybe it’s something that would only be fun for a little while.
like having a secret lair… and minions…
Works for me.
and you work for me… so to speak
Don’t remind me… I haven’t been paid in a while… hint hint. Head Minion need new sneakers!
goodbye……..
you are sneaky enough
Pingback: You know that post where we are trying to break the record for the most comments on a single post… yeah, the one that has 32,514 comments on it… yeah, the one that WordPress still can’t or won’t tell us what the actual record is
Pingback: You know that post where we are trying to break the record for the most comments on a single post… yeah, the one that has 32,514 comments on it… yeah, the one that WordPress still can’t or won’t tell us what the actual record is
Pingback: You know that post where we are trying to break the record for the most comments on a single post… yeah, the one that has 32,514 comments on it… yeah, the one that WordPress still can’t or won’t tell us what the actual record is
Pingback: You know that post where we are trying to break the record for the most comments on a single post… yeah, the one that has 32,514 comments on it… yeah, the one that WordPress still can’t or won’t tell us what the actual record is
Pingback: You know that post where we are trying to break the record for the most comments on a single post… yeah, the one that has 32,514 comments on it… yeah, the one that WordPress still can’t or won’t tell us what the actual record is
Pingback: You know that post where we are trying to break the record for the most comments on a single post… yeah, the one that has 32,514 comments on it… yeah, the one that WordPress still can’t or won’t tell us what the actual record is
I don’t know if I’ve already commented here or not, so I figured I’d give it a shot. 🙂
You are now a part of history!
It IS a confusing web… If you can manage to pick thru and follow some conversations it is really very amusing. When Art sorts it out and makes it a book we will all be famous! 😀
Or I will get lost in all the trails and never be seen again…
CITIZENS AHRRREESSSSST!!!!
Barney never should have made that U-turn
Or lost his bullet…..
Or called that floozy, Juanita, over at the diner…
Oh yeah! Her. Not like those 2 beauties from Mt. Pilot…….
oh yeah… them… they scared me… and what about the escaped female prisoners???
the prisoners? Or the Mt. Pilot babes? ” Hiya Doll” in that raspy smokers voice…..
both…
Not to worry. Barney’s got it handled.
With a little help from Andy… the best dad ever, by the way.
LOOKIT ME! IT’S ERNEST T!! Or the Darlin family! What a good show that was!!
Ernest T Bass… love that guy…
Otis, locking himself up at night on the weekends!
I been in a jail in Kentucky where that actually happens…
Floyd! There’s a Floyd’s Barber shop in downtown Chicago. I laugh every time I see it!
Howard! That nice man who lived with his mother!
that is when the show started going downhill
that guy was a little weird
Also, Niwel’s bum hurts. In a couple of different places. It’s odd, new and fun. Please join me in a celebratory round of ass-blasters. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Anyway, Niwel is drunk. Hello! Feel my butt! Feel it now! I hate it when no one listens to Niwel. Flippin Niwel. He’s such a malcontent. Not like that strapping, handsome Trentle Win chap, who’s totally one of the cool kids.
cheeky monkey
There is nothing cheeky about this monkey, sir.
you said it
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I always read it as Trentle Win! That is so funny! I thought I saw Tnert streaking by my house last night, he looked happy cause his tale was waggin so!
Was it a big, round, flat tail, used for slapping mud into the crevices of dams?
No, it was a nekkid man running backwards. It isn’t as funny when I gotsa splain it..
still pretty funny
Yeah Tnert was totally streaking the block last night, but his Niwel’s got a bit shrunken… Hey wait, Niwel has no tail! Oh wait…. ooooohhhhhhhhh……………….aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………oh yeaaaaaah…..
We have a crossover, ladies and gellyfish
feel is different than hurt Niwel…. just saying…
it can be but not always…
Niwel here. Now that I’ve decided to liberate the world from Tyranny and Trent Lewin Blog Posts, I’ve decided to grow a moustache, wear sunglasses at all times, and pretend that fantastical rodents inhabit the inner recesses of my sizeable, misshapen cranium. Niwel grows angry. Niwel grows very very angry.
I wouldn’t like you when you’re angry
I’m gonna lose it.
again
Niwel – if you get a little too angry and blow up then can I have your Secret Lair? I could always use the extra space for books, packets of noodles and a pool table or three. I promise to water the plants whilst sipping brandy and fiddling with the oversized jukebox, it’s the least I can do.
You know there are three pool tables in the rec room of my lair… and noodles in the cafeteria.
Well that just sounds dandy – I’ll get me pool cue wiped off and I’ll be right down for a couple of cocktails.
Oh… I can’t let the minions drink in the lair… no liquor license… we might be an evil organization bent on world domination, but we aren’t anarchists…
How about Virgin Mojitos?
like we have virgin anything around here… HA!
No Virgin items at all? What have you got against Sir Richard Branson? It’s the beard isn’t it? Afraid that if he points it at you, it might go off.
It makes him look devilish…
Is that why they use red in their logos?
no… but don’t ask
Oh! Ok then! I will don the bikini and meet you in the pool!! 😀
you know, since there are noodles an all….
uh… yeah
yay
I’d prefer that you fiddle with the packets of noodles and water the jukebox, otherwise – no problem. Niwel’s hunting for a new lair, some nice damp place where he can compose his secret plots to take over stuff.
Is that why you want the jukebox watered?? You want it damp? I have an idea! Pspspsssss psssspspppssssss pppppsssssspspssss.?
did she just pee on our jukebox???
HAHAHA! oh hahaha! I was whispering to Trentle.
phew
Boy… I’m sure glad I didn’t invite that guy to be a minion here then… nothing worse than a person who signs up as a minion and then goes looking for his own lair…
This is an interesting challenge.
Thanks… it is for me too… I did like half the comments, because I always respond to comments… it’s a sickness…
Hahahaha what got you to make this challenge?
I don’t know… it just sort of happened. It is the kind of crazy idea I have. I never knew it would go so far. We started having contests… like who could flirt with themselves the best, or writing poetry, or telling stories. We have reunions. People come in and randomly type replies to old comments to keep it going… those people are my minions. If you ever get bored, type something to an old comment by Trent or Julie or List of X. People meet other people here. So far the biggest number of comments we could find on a blog owned by a non-celebrity is way below our number, and most of those were horrible posts that went viral because the person said something hateful. We do it all with love.
That’s awesome 🙂
It is. I have the best commenters around.
Mind if I ask you for a favor? Would you mind taking a look at my site and giving me your thoughts?
I left a few brief comments. I might not be the person to judge this stuff. I do humor… weird stuff. I occasional make funny Photoshop of Politicians that get on my nerves. And I did that one post about the history of the Jewish people in the Mideast, just to see if I could come up with anything funny to write about it. I study history. I know all this stuff. I just don’t have any answers… or much hope that things will get better. But your blog looks good and your writing is awesome.
Thanks 🙂
I doubt there’s a real answer that can be the solution to everything and if there is, it’s probably too radical, crazy, or simply altruistic for anyone dare attempt it.
I already told everybody that if they made me King of the universe for one week, I would solve all the problems.
Hahahaha that would be an interesting week.
I think I did a few posts about that.
Copious amounts of alcohol topped with yet more alcohol.
I hardly ever drink
Same here. You know how people drink to forget? Well I often forget to drink!
word
what word? I’ve forgotten already!
me too… but there was a word…
The bird bird bird yes the bird is the word.
it is a word
A noun too
if you say so.
I do say so. It’s science.
I only believe in science with the word fiction at the end
I’ll do the heavy lifting around here, mister.
get on it
Art, Dr. Niwel, the esteemed urologist, has requested the pleasure of inspecting your sphincter. What should I tell him? And don’t answer via animal!
Tell him to piss off…. Ha
Dr. Niwel grows angry.
Nothing like an angry mature proctologist
Ahhh amatuer proctologist
Roflmao
Whee
Hold on a moment, folks. We seem to have comments by a cat or cats, a chameleon, a hermit crab, and worms. Time to let the dog(s) out – Puppy Cody can type better than any of you, and will soon be posting by her own self on my blog (unless my nemesis, Not Cordelia’s Mom, pays her better – those treats are getting expensive).
And everyone watch out – Puppy Cody eats EVERYTHING! (including, I suspect, some of my own commenters – that absolutely must be why I don’t have the most commented-on blog).
I am opening this post up to all animals… And aliens…
That or you haven’t just blatantly come right out and requested a record breaking comment post. I wouldn’t suggest it now, as 32,165 comments is quite a lead. Great. Now I have to go look to see if I can find Puppy Cody pictures. The hermit crab, chameleon, and chihuahua were mine. Only because list of X tossed out that challenge.
Everybody has something to type, except for me and my monkey
Yep, Puppy Cody is pretty darn cute…
Yup
Thanks. There is a whole series of photos of Cody growing bigger on my Facebook page, which can be accessed by clicking the “Facebook…(click here”) icon on the right of my home page (or any post page, for that matter).
can I do so even if I do not facebook?? great. Now I have to go see if I can…
nope. I gotta sign up. but you sneakily sent me to another blog, where I read about Bailey. I guess it’s only fitting. I expect to spend much of today crying anyway. My personal 9/11, my daddy…
Awwwwww… On another note, can I do a post about you getting my books?
You probably should.
I probably will
Ha
Golly, I sure hope so.
Turns out no
Bummer. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll have to do a special puppy update post, maybe on her first birthday which is coming up.
Do it
I just added a Twitter button to the sidebar of my blog so everyone can see Puppy Cody pictures. (Right now, there’s only 1, but it’s the most recent one.)
Well done
Yes. I am quite the animal lover and do so enjoy sharing other peoples loves. Please do post some love for the puppy!
And they called it puppy lo…o…o…ve….
ooooohhhhhhh….. I just hugged her in my mind! Thank you!
Wheeee
um…that was for you. “I just hugged her in my mind”
Ha
I just added a Twitter sidebar to my blog pages. You should be able to see Puppy Cody pictures there (right now, there’s only one, but it is the most recent).
Awesome
Um, wait. Are animals allowed now? Is that what we’re talking about? Come on! I was previously under the impression that most of the comments in here WERE from animals…
Or Martians – didn’t I see a few comments from them?
We have had 237 alien races here
I think there are a slew of extraterrestrials hereabouts… welcome, visitors!
Actually, I believe I have one living right next door to me, but I don’t think she’s on WordPress. She is, however, on Twitter.
Of course she is
A cold slew
Not officially
Oh Trent!
ha
Well Doc, I never let some incidental moment of sobriety get in the way of being a buffoon.
No you do not!!!
That’s deep!
Don’t encourage him… he’s Canadian… he had been drinking fermented maple syrup and beaver squeezings all morning.
Also – woof. Woof indeed.
Ha
Just trying to fit in…
Good work
FINE! I WORK ALL WEEKEND AND YOU GUYS HAVE A PARTY!!! Does anyone care that I not only worked BUT I AM PRETTY SURE I WAS ONMY DEATHBED?? kofff koff koff……
y’all are too funny! besides being insane.
yes… we are
Soon you will have some reading materila to read in bed…
I can’t wait!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!!
me too
Delivered Monday!! Check is going out with this mornings mail!!!!
You got them???
yep! 😀 soooo exciteddddddd!!! I almost called in sick.
awwwww
It wasn’t a real party without you!
True
Just patting themselves.
That is allowed… within reason…
sometimes we pat each other as well….
Hahahaha!
I pat myself on the back all the time.
uh oh…
HA! I know how this works. Don’t forget I am the baby of my family. They always did all the fun stuff after I got put to bed!.
yeah… we still do that with you… HA!
I am very well aware of this. Julie! your turn to pedal for the electricity. Everyone else in here to watch the 80″ plasma TV. er I mean….. take turns picking the ick out from under Art’s toenails… yeah that’s it….
Hey… some minions love that job.
I’m telling you, the party don’t start without you, round here.
Julie Julie Julie!
he has a point
Awww. You warm the cockles of my heart my dear friend Trenty Trent Trent!
heh heh… cockles…
You da man, Eiluj.
more of a man than you will ever be… oh yeah… full mental body slam!
I am a man of my words. I said that here before somewhere. Integrity.
I am also a man of your words
n k,jjmkxkjmjmjmjmjmjmjm uj ;/ddcffffffffff
that comment was actually typed by my cat.
Let’s do a contest: how many animals can we get to type comments on this post? I only have flies and spiders, who, thankfully, are not strong enough to type comments on my keyboard, but dogs, turtles, pet snakes, hamsters, birds should be up for the job.
How about a horse…
you should start a contest – who can get what animal to comment here
You’re right, we ssssssssshould sssstartsth an animal typing contetthhhhhesssst. “A snake? I hate snakes!
http://cheezburger.com/6567573760
That better not be a trouser snake…
If it gets into my trousers then humanity is doomed!
Maybe your humanity… HA!
I may do that
Now see here, you stay out of my trousers if you know what’s good for you.
If I had a dime for every time I heard that…
Trouser fiend
Or trouser friend…
Corduroy buddy
slcak slacker
wait… that was slack slacker…
I don’t know what’s good for me, and I’m staying out anyway.
Probably the best strategy, judging by the adventures my trousers have been through.
One’s trousers can never have too many adventures
I think my chameleon is winning so far….
yup
Did he mask himself as the hermit crab?
That is so deep
Nice one X!! You slay me!
Killing me softly with your lizard…
…………mollllllhioiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhuhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggtyftyttttr54543522324…..(hermit crab.)
drtguiopsrtgko (chihuahua)
You can’t see this one, it’s our chameleon…… just blends right in……
A chameleon on a keyboard would be cool…
no Spanish?
That was Spanish! sheesh!
sure it was
He isn’t the brightest little dog around. The cutest definitely, the brightest? notsomuch.
My dog is hella smart
well, yeah, your dog’s brain is bigger than my dog’s entire head.
and don’t you forget it
really… because that sounded more like a sand crab…
nope. Hermit. Similar dialect I suspect.
no… not at all
Wow, a hermit crab as a pet, that’s pretty cool! But doesn’t saltwater drip into the keyboard?
a quick traipse across a towel and he is good to go! Not really cool. Kinda creepy. ok, kinda creepy in a kinda cool way…
do they really traipse???
oh yes, there is much traipsing going on in his habitat! He is a little clumsy with his new shell, it is wider than his last one, so he tends to tink the glass a lot….
I hate the new wide shells.
New shell is all spikey and tough looking, kinda like a Viking hermit crab now….
cool
Plus, he picked it. He had choices. That’s the one he picked. He still has options available to him as well. I think he thinks he looks more intimidating in that one. He creeps me out when he gets all his legs out and his claws and moves around. ewwww.
For the crab on the go
Like a spider on steroids. with a battle shell.
I need that in my sci fi books… wait… I have stuff sort of like that
good question
So you say… but if it’s true, we just broke new ground here.
it is true. She was actually typing all that. I just had to hold her so that she’d finish the comment
Her spelling is better than mine
Dismay increasing as arousal goes through the roof.
We have opened up a whole new can of worms… who can type…
Arousal going through the roof? That’s gotta hurt.
He overstates his case
But how do you know, you’ve never met him? And maybe his roof is really low.
I’m sure it is
It hurts more on the way back.
okay… that was a good one
Oh sheesh…
sheesh-kabob-squarepants
gibberjabberin.wordpress.com
just type it in and be transported
I don’t think I can…
Let me mail the picture of my cat so it doesn’t have to go back.
HA!!!
Hey, what if my cat got to talk to your cat…. no, I have a hard enough time trying to use the computer with all the “help” I get. I might not get a turn if the cats got involved….
Once they can use computers, do they really need us?
food. Opening doors, cleaning litter boxes, water. rubs and stuff when desired by said cat. Yes. Still needed.
They can order food on the interwebs
can’t open the door. or the can. or the refrigerator, which is where we hid all the really good food, at least at my house… oh yeah, and they will need a form of payment…
So all they can do on the internet is look at kitty porn… HA!
If your cat tried to talk to my cat, mine would probably run away. She’s a shelter cat, and presence of other cats would probably bring up some painful memories.
I was a shelter human
And you, apparently, still like other humans – so maybe there’s still hope for my cat.
I have learned to exist with humans
Have other humans learned to coexist with you?
not really
have you tried training them?
uh… no
Haven’t you at least trained your minions?
I tried… like training earthworms…
Do you make them eat dirt and crawl on the ground after the rain?
Minion chow is mostly dirt… and they do the crawling on their own.
Your cat might be amused by my cat. She is kinda dumb. In a very smart cat kinda way.
I can relate
I don’t think my cat is smart at all. But, she did train us to feed her, pet her, and clean her litter box.
Cat’s really can survive on their own… usually…
I don’t think mine will.
Well, some can’t.
so see X? She is pretty smart..
……………
We are well past the days that cats are expected survive on their own.. Too many man made dangers in most of the world for them.
Well, survival in nature isn’t exactly safe.
or perhaps a happier time, with her litter mates and her mommie….
those were the days
right? Oh how I miss them….
who doesn’t?
oh yeah
i think it meant roughly “put me down on the floor now!”
Only not so polite as that
are you bleeding? If not it was a very polite request.
ha
I learned how to hold my cat to avoid injury. I learned the hard way, but still.
Should have started on Twitter first
My cat’s Twitter would be really boring, just #meow and “#napping hashtags.
To be expected
HA! I begins with “hogtie your kitty while avoiding the mouth of a thousand razors!”
That is how dating Trent begins too
It’s mostly 20 razor sharp claws, she doesn’t have that many teeth left.
uh oh
awww…. poor kitty…. razor sharp was really the key phrase there anyway…
yup
This comment surprised and aroused me.
It deserves a special post tomorrow.
HA! I am NOT surprised!!
me neither
Not surprised by the initial comment or that it proved to be somewhat arousing?
either way, I bet
yes.
ha
I see.
do you
I didn’t realize that you are a cat person, Trent. But Dr. Niwel… I’m pretty sure he it.
I can’t type what I’m thinking…
then say it and type what you said.
best not
as you say.
say you as
Niwel’s a complete cat-whore.
among other kinds
Niwel grows unhappy in the face of your tacit agreement with his self-deprecation.
sorry, forgot I was talking with a doctor and not one of my loyal minions who need to be kept in line…
Niwel is no minion.
so it would seem
Niwel is a noinim.
and a homonym with hominy anonymously nominating the nine noisy gnomes
Ok, I thought “Niwel is a noinim” is pretty obvious. 🙂
oh wait… I get it now… clever… if you can read in two directions…
If Trent can, so can I.
He can’t do anything that most other people can do, can he?
or ‘can’t do anything that most other people can’t do’, which is what I meant
X, my vocabulary is limited and my brain malfunctioned at the use of that word.
mine too
But mine malfunctioned better…
Mine is way more malfunctionable than yours.
you wish
I meant “malfunctional”. I think.
I doubt it… but wither way… I win… I invented the wardrobe malfunction and the cerebral malfunction.
Now there’s something to be proud of…
exactly
whoops… either way…
Your vocabulary is fine, although I’m surprised Tnert Niwel doesn’t know what a “noinim” is.
Does anybody know? Let’s take a pole… a poll… whichever…
Oh crap! Just noticed it’s minion spelled backwards. Trent is a bum; Niwel would have got that one.
I got it before you did… nah nah
Thanks for bringing our collective maturity down a notch.
uh… that’s what we do here…
Schmack!
so you say
well, maybe Dr. Niwel can write a guest post on your blog, so we’d know more about him.
Niwel can’t string more than three words together. Oh wait…
so is it pronounced Niywell… or Newel… or Nuwill?
Obviously it’s ‘newel’. Sheesh, we’re Canadian, not barbarians.
so like jewel?
Suuuure…
or drool?
oooohhhhh….
X! I got it immediately! noinim daeh tnert.
we only keep you around for your brains.
You are smarter than the rest of us, Julie.
yup
True dat, holmes.
word…s…
Oh, for the record, I beat Art on this one.
no you didn’t
OMG. You guys, I can so win the I did it first/ best whiner argument! Don’t forget I am the baby of the family. If nothing else that gives me staying power!
sigh