I want to break the all-time record for the most comments on a WordPress blog post.
*** PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS POST ***
Okay, some of you will see this as a shallow attempt on my part to bump up my stats.
And I’m not saying you are wrong.
But here’s the thing… oh, thing, I missed you, where have you been?
I have always said that I have the best commenters on WordPress. I have two posts that have over 1,000 comments on them… True, half of those are my return answers to comments, because I always answer my comments, but still… And I will even go so far as to admit that my comment sections… OUR comment sections… are sometimes the funniest part of my posts. Are you happy now?
But this all has me wondering what the record for number of comments on one post actually is. I want to see if we can break it. Just for the fun of it. We will all be part of a social media experiment. We will all go down in the history books as record breakers. We can amaze and astound the WordPress overlords and maybe have them take notice of us.
And it will be fun.
Oh, and I am a little disappointed that only one person even commented on that cute picture of me as a baby in the last post I did, so here is your chance to make it up to me…
Pouring My Art Out 
How is it that I didn’t Like this post before? What the hell, me?
spam
You hate me.
spam… no I don’t
Lastly, if you would be so kind, Just sing right back and you’ll hear a tale
or, you know, sit right back
a tale of a fateful trip
a fail of a hateful drip
you shouldn’t talk about yourself like that. See, this is supposed to make up for not commenting on your near death experience. 🙂
You’ll see.
ok
my comments are disappearing into a black hole. It is fascinating albeit discomfiting.
Hold on…
Oh, it’s probably something I did wrong.
spam
you got spammed five times
damn. I guess I deserved it.
spam… wait… what?
um… I don’t remember now.. Ok. Story time for M.
sorry… spam
that started for our young man Art aboard a tiny ship
He was a mighty Sea Scout then, a giant among men
the ship was a cutter named after islands called the Farallon
The weather started getting rough, and cookies were getting tossed
HA… I was rewriting songs before Weird Al…
me, too. someday I’ll share my version of “Hungry Like the Wolf”
please do
I wrote it when I was 11, I think.
spam
sweet
go on
Oh, I did.
I saw it… I laughed…
oh yeah
ha… I caught that…
have you read “Interrupting Chicken”?
no
I kept getting interrupted…
I’m ignoring you now.
ha!!!
it’s sit right back… but I see what you mean… I think
hush. you’re gonna like this.
ha
I ran out of room! Here’s part two:
If not for his need to get above, there’d be nothing to speak of.
nothing to speak of…
With hands jammed into his pockets and vomit everywhere
He hit the deck
And slid right down
He caught his chin on the wire
He almost drowned, but Dewey came and plucked him in
And calmly smoked his cig!
How’d I do, Boss?
Nailed it… I might have to do another post setting up a challenge for rewriting theme songs.
w00t! I’m THERE.
tomorrow
awwww, YEAH.
11 more spams… maybe take a break for a while…
sigh. Have to anyway. See you laters.
ok, bye, spam queen
That’s Geek Queen of Spam to you.
hey,,, this one made it through
I never thought I would wish that song was longer.
me neither
😀
wheeeeeeee
bam!!!
oh yeah
Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam Spamity spam! Sorry Monty Python invades….
…ooo000ooo…
SQUIRREL!
I mean, SPAM!
HA!
I told Trent that a moose once bit my sister. He seemed confused.
All Canadians have been bitten by moose on multiple occasions… he just wondered why you bothered to mention it.
Ooooh! That makes so much sense! I can’t believe I was so stupid not to see that!
I almost added a picture to the post I did for him. It showed a Canadian newspaper article with a headline like, “Woman Hits Moose on Way to Visit Sister Who Hit Moose”. I thought the “Oh, wow! You’re CANADIAN!” bit was getting a bit old, though.
They are used to being teased.
Now I am sad.
They like it…
REALLY?
That is why6 so many Canadianoids are comedians…
That actually makes a lot of sense.
I know… I do that now and then…
So I made a post just for him. But I don’t think he saw it.
who didn’t see what?
Trent didn’t see his special post that I made for him.
He is a busy man… and he might need hints…
I think I’ll give him some time before I start pestering. You know how I get when I pester.
no… I have no idea at all…
shuddup.
ha!
you have been in the spam folder, as I recall…
Also, I want you to know that my daughter is on the Honor Roll. 🙂
I would expect nothing less.
so long as she always does her best, I am happy. Did I mention she wants to be an art teacher? or an engineer. I told her she can do both if she wants.
yay
She is so much cooler than I ever could be.
I feel that way about my kids… but I was pretty cool.
Not me. Can’t you tell? Natural born geek all the way, baby.
geek is the new cool now
It didn’t used to be that way. I PROMISE.
I was, however, Queen of the Geeks. They loved me.
spam
First of all I want you to know that I bookmarked the permalink.
It is also right there at the top of my sidebar…
You’re just trying to get back at me for …
no… I am not sneaky… I told you that
right. that would be me.
sigh
yup
that’s what I like about you. always honest.
spam
HEY! I got to watch Despicable Me on TV the other nite. I thought of you!
HELLLLOOOOOOOOOO??? Minions?? yoo hooo!
We have some new visitors… say hello to A Z Gringa… she is funny…
spent a little time trying to decide which one I was….
It has to be one of the best ones…
Yay… wait… I thought you thought of me all the time???
well, yeah, but this was just a new reason…
phew
(all responses to Dear Oracle should start with: ah my son/daughter, I am glad you have come to me. sit back. listen carefully)
And the oracle says: that is too much typing.
Schmack!
yup
Here’s a new thread entitled Dear Oracle.
Dear Oracle, how come grapes taste so good but if you let them ferment for a while, they taste even better and can get you drunk? How come everything’s not like this?
uh… most things with sugar in them will ferment…
Your point is lost in my Tuesday glass of wine.
no doubt
My face is also lost in my Tuesday glass of wine.
they are the same color now…
Word.
ha
Well, there’s no escaping it. I’m drinking wine on a Monday. How is that different from drinking wine on a Tuesday or any other day? Blah. That’s how.
Philosophical alcoholism
You only pass out once.
and become one with everything
I like the way you think.
I do? I mean, you do?
It’s getting confusing in here…
you should check out twitter
Guap told me I should get a twitter thing… is it worth it?
no
Very well.
is it
25,698… I mean 25,699.
what what
I WAS TOLD TO COME HERE AND DO STUFF SO I DID.
Yay… I like stuff… thanks.
:3 It’s better than not liking stuff. Stuff can be rather wonderful and exciting sometimes.
As long as you don’t get carried away with it.
YOU DID WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO???
*sniff*
I feel verklempt.
Me too, just so you know
RIGHT??
yup
It seemed like a good idea at the time. *nod*
You are too awesome for words.
wait… those are words
I…
yeah. She’s still too awesome for them. Me, I’m just too sexy for my shirt.
take it off… HA!
It always does
Pingback: What a strange day. | Bleached Bone Valley
yup
This is the comment number 30,000! (I’m just posting it early.)
30,001…
29,999
dang it
29,998
stop that
Ok, 30,002
I lost track
147,154,211, maybe?
That works for me
That’s like 73,000,000 of your comments.
ouch
I want to start a new thread, too. Maybe even start a new page. Maybe move to California and open a winery. Or maybe just go eat something.
Is this the new thread?
Well, it’s not new anymore, but I think it’s as good as any.
It is not always where or how they start but where and how they end up… don’t get cocky…
I have no idea where it will end up, so i’ll just take it one comment at a time.
you don’t plan these ten in advance???
Which ten? I usually comment in singles.
It was a list joke
Oh, ok, cause I usually do joke lists
I thought you did everything in tens
I’ve actually done lists of 9, 8, 7, and 6. I’m very versatile.
That is just crazy talk!
Sweetie. You’re over 25,000. You did it. Lucy
WE did it!!!
Now you take the next 5,000… go!
Where am I taking them? I hear Antarctica is lovely this time of year. They better have cab fare to the airport. Lucy
Take them to the moon and the stars!
Disney World is cheaper, not by much.
Might be easier just to type them
Except their penguin cabdrivers are really bad with directions, and tend to get lost a lot.
Yellow cabs are better than those black and white ones… I keep thinking it is the cops showing up.
I’ll just call cop cars “penguin cabs” from now on 🙂
Cops should wear tuxedos…
Then everyone would yield to every wedding party just in case.
They could go under cover at fancy parties… and as Chippendale dancers…
Well, the Chippendale dancers do dress like cops already.
oh… that could be confusing
I think i’ll just try to avoid both, just in case.
exactly
Just because. 🙂
That is all I have a right to ask for…
Really? Cuz I thought you coulda asked for candy too.
But comments are so much sweeter.
Pingback: A Poetic Duet With Pouring My Art Out – “Future Dilemmas” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)
…ooo000ooo…
Holy crap. I would offer to help with this comment gig you’ve got going on here, but my confidence in my own ability to bs with the best of them is now badly shaken.
Oh… you should read all the comments… we struck highs and lows that left me in doubt of my own sanity…
Oh, I don’t doubt my sanity. I’m certain it’s gone. It went out for a pack of cigarettes one night about 12 years ago and never came back.
At least you had it for a while… I have a head infested with crack squirrels…
They also seem to be humping and multiplying in there.
That is what they do… really fast…
Wow. Do they gibber all the time they do it? Like, in that high-pitched Alvin and the Chipmunks sort of way?
Uh… hello… what do you think this blog is?
You win.
I always do… I have the crack squirrels working for me.
wait… what?
Oh, damn.
I have done posts about the squirrels… heck, I have done posts about almost everything in the universe. I always feel weird when people show up, because whatever attracted them here first might never be done again…
I know what you mean. My blog is still very new. It’s less than a month old. I have, like 50 subscribers. I have this little fantasy that these 50 people are “in on the ground floor”. They get to be there for the genesis. Someday, hordes of people will be clamoring to follow my blog. “Amazing!” they’ll shout. “Groundbreaking!” they’ll scream. But they won’t have enough hours in the day to go back and read all those early posts, the seeds of a million inside jokes. Also, I dream someone will find the breadcrumbs and follow them, but no luck so far.
I miss the days when I could get some people to read the whole blog from the beginning. It makes more sense that way… sort of.
I often have far too much time on my hands. I could have a go at it. I don’t think I can read the whole mega comment thread though. I think that’s asking too much of anyone.
No… not the comments too… although sometimes they are as funny as the real post. If you ever get bored, just start scrolling down. You might be amazed at what you find there. Just read the ones that catch your eye.
Aye aye, Cap’n.
Ha… I have pirate posts…
Aarrrr!
One year for Halloween I made a belt out of AOL CDs and an eye patch out of a 3 1/4″ disk. My doo rag was covered with artistically arranged 0s and 1s and a butterfly sat upon my should in place of a parrot. I was…
A SOFTWARE PIRATE
Okay… that’s funny…
Damn straight.
Are you saying that up until this point you have not found me funny? Because personally, I crack me up.
That was your best funny story about a pirate I had heard so far…
Well, so long as you say “so far”. It implies that you accept the premise that I will be funny again.
I am counting on you to be funny… all the time…
or it may have sat upon my shoulder.
I knew what you meant… one bad speller to another… HA!
I’m an excellent speller, but I am also an exceedingly poor typist. You would think that a couple of decades on the internet would improve my skill, but no.
I can’t spell or type.
You spelled every word of your reply correctly. Is someone else typing whilst you dictate?
I have that red line that shows up under my mistakes…
btw, I came here because you liked one of my posts, and I was like, “New dude! Who’s that?” I’m nosy, see.
That is how you meet people in this crazy world.
::curtsies::
Well met, good sir.
yay… I do a mean bow…
You don’t need sanity to comment here. In fact, it’s more of a hindrance on this post.
what he said… oh, did I forget to tell her to make some new friends and comment to random people?
Then I’ll fit right right in!
Wait. I’m not sure that’s ever happened before. I might get scared.
That just proves you fit in.
There’s always a first time. And this time it might actually be fun.
precisely
Hey… my daughter lives in Arizona now…
Oh, yeah? Does she like it? I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to it. Still feels like an alien world after all these years.
She seems to be fitting in… Scottsdale is sort of interesting. I like the dessert for short periods of time.
Yeah… There are some cool things to see, but you have to drive for long periods to get to them. Montezuma’s Castle, Sedona, the Grand Canyon (of course). There are little places like Jerome and Strawberry.
Be prepared to hear a lot of complaining about the weather real soon. All that crap about it being a “dry heat”? As the comedian said, “It’s dry in my oven, too. I wouldn’t want to live there.”
I hate being hot, but Sedona was awesome.
You know what’s fun to do in Sedona?
Step 1: Walk into one of the freakier looking stores with your daughter or other companion.
Step 2: Talk about UFOs just loud enough so other people can’t help but hear.
Step 3: Admire the crazy. (Sh!t gets real, yo.)
I grew up in the S F Bay Area… I spotted the weird right away… people, it isn’t the center of the universe, it just has some cool rocks.
But the ley lines! They make a bird…
I can see how the native people thought that land was sacred. Big rocks do that to people. But aliens have big rocks at home. I ought to know, I write books about aliens…
You know, I can see why they felt that way, too.
Zaphod and Trillian say, “Hi!” Arthur is still confused.
I live in a constant state of confusion…
I thought you said you live in California.
Ha… same thing
Damn. You win again.
“I admit it. You are better than me. But I know something you do not know.”
I bet you know lots of things I don’t know. I am not that smart, and I am all art-side-of-the-brain.
Does that mean you are left-handed? Because that would actually kind of make that joke.
Nope… right handed.
Neither of us is left-handed.
Joke still works.
exactly
And it is still a joke.
I should read all of your replies before I reply.
You should read all my posts, all my books, everything I ever wrote, and listen to my songs before you reply… HA!
AAAAh… a challenge. All right. I will read all of your posts, all of your books, everything you ever wrote, AND listen to your songs IF you find the breadcrumbs, follow them, and uncover the secret that hides in plain sight. There may even be a song in it for YOU.
What say you?
Wait… that’s desert, not dessert… I like dessert for long periods of time…
And here I was being nice and not commenting on the misspelling. Now it looks like I can’t spell either. Thanks a lot!
P.S. The best dessert has chocolate in it. Doesn’t matter what it is so long as chocolate.
Hot chocolate would be a desert dessert… right?
Only in winter. In summer, iced mocha coffee is the way to go. Jeez, you’d think that would be obvious.
And, yes, you spend a few years here and you, too, will feel cold as soon as the temperature starts to dip below 75 degrees F.
I live in San Diego, and even here it is hard going back to the Bay Area in winter.
oooooh. I probably should have done a little research before I started spouting off about how my weather is so damn special, huh?
We are technically a desert, but it is occasionally tropical… really weird.
I am just jealous you have ocean. I miss the ocean… and good seafood.
I do like the ocean… and sea food.
Oh, we have sea food. It’s just not GOOD sea food which means as fresh as can be and relatively inexpensive.
I know what you mean
I’m starting a new thread:
a) because I feel like it
b) because I can’t remember what we were talking about before
c) because popcorn
d) because I thought it would be fun to do a multiple choice thread
e) because I’m silly
a) that is awesome
b) that is silly
3) I love silly
d- a grade I got a lot in school
e=mc squared
Hahaha
You were supposed to just pick one!!
When do I ever do that?
I can’t even guess
good point
I’m glad you think so.
That works out well then.
Hooray. Everyone is happy.
all two of us
and the squirrels?
oh yeah… them too
that ups the numbers drastically, doesn’t it?
I suppose so
Do you have a “best guess” on how many squirrels there are?
About 68 or so. They come and go, and move around a lot.
Nice. That’s a decent enough amount. I would expect some fluctuation when you have that many trying to be heard and make space for themselves.
and making new ones
Of course, that as well, yes.
I hate that…
Wow. That didn’t do anything to deserve such animosity.
crack squirrels humping in your head can piss you off…
Put on some music and try not to pay attention.
Some Barry White???
Rage Against the Machine seems more fitting.
Muskrat Love?
Froggy Goes Courting?
I am trying to think of a song with the word ‘nuts’ in it.
AC/DC – Big Balls?
close enough
they are always bouncing to the left and to the right
dude
it is my belief, they should be held all night
are you going to quote the entire song?
I wasn’t planning on it, no
feel free…
best feeling ever
are you going commando???
Mercenary, actually.
You get paid for it? You are the man!
Exactly!
Though, I don’t always get paid.
Usually people just give me IOUs.
In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been paid.
Hmmmmmm…..
are you sure you are doing it right?
No, not really. I’m a jester by trade. The mercenary thing was just something I started on a lark.
mercenary jester… good name for a book… or a band
Oh! I like both ideas. You write the book. I’ll start the band.
we could do both together
That sounds like a lot of fun!
it really does…
we can write a book and then put the whole thing to music… a Tommy-like rock opera… hard rock
Perfect!!
Let’s do it.
In our free time
Yeah, free time.
I used to have some of that.
not me
Never?
You work too hard.
Maybe all I have is free time…
I doubt that – you’ve already told me your weekends aren’t your own to plan.
other than that I mean
Oh, okay, glad we got that clarified.
like butter
yum, now I’m hungry
That is the power of butter.
it’s very powerful
It can also be used to get rings off when your finger gets fat.
haven’t tried that… I just use soap
so you take your ring off when you go to bars and Las Vegas?
when I play volleyball
when I go body surfing
when I go backpacking in the sierra
what happens in the ocean stays in the ocean…
a fact of life.
all in the family
three’s company
the Jeffersons
the Cosbys
We have moved into a new era now
Leave it to Beaver?
That is going backwards now…
Back to the Future?
that ties it up nicely
Did you want me to stop?
Not at all…
Or should I say: I love Lucy?
Bewitched!
bewildered
Lost in space?
been there… done that…
I dream of genie?
I do too… uh… I mean… Wild Wild West
A-Team
Hawaii Five-Oh
Knight Rider!!
T J Hooker
Quantum Leap?
you have no respect for decades at all, do you?
The Phantom.
menace
Jar-Jar?
can can…
tu-tu?
A Bridge Tu Tu Far… the musical…
I’d pay to see. I’d even pay twice.
You know, pay pay.
sigh
Fine. so… musicals…
Um.
Um.
Oh!
Back to Phantom… of the opera?
well played
Well played? 76 trombones led the big parade? Right here in River City? Am I … The Music Man?
or the Muffin Man…
He lives on Cherry Lane. Right?
Or is it Drurey Lane?
That depends entirely on which muffin man you are looking for… what kind of muffin you need.
The kind from the Aerosmith song: Walk This Way…
Hahahahaha
Nice.
oh yeah
are we moving on to catch phrases from commercials?
Follow your nose!
where’s the beef?
The other white meat!
albino cows
Eat More Chikken
HA
15 Minutes could save you 15% or more?
Don’t get carried away.
Twist to open?
Exit in the rear
Objects may be closer than they appear.
You must be this tall to ride
Ride the rainbow. Taste the rainbow.
Put a tiger in your tank… might be before your time…
They’re greeeeaaaaaattttt?
Somehow I doubt that’s where you were going. It sounds familiar, but… yeah… maybe before my time.
It was an add for gasoline… you know, to make your muscle car go faster
Hmm, yeah, that doesn’t sound familiar after all.
I precursor to Chevron with Techron… interesting.
I don’t even remember which gas company it was.
Do you remember those old 76 commercials when they were affiliated with the dodgers?
Something about a ball getting hit out of the park and rolling into a station… am I just making that up?
It does sound familiar.
cool, thought maybe I was losing my mind for a minute
yeah… for a minute
All day actually.
Mmm, delicious mind losing sadafedrine.
awwwwwwwwww
I have enough to share, if you want some.
I better not… addictive personality…
I hear you.
I’ll keep them all to myself them.
My precious.
uh oh
The cold turned me into a newt.
I’ll get better, eventually.
Not a newt Gingritch, I hope.
Never that. There’s no getting better from that.
exactly
Not all newts are created equal.
some are slimier than others…
Yep.
without a doubt
For sure.
I am never sure
why not?
I’m not sure why not
when in doubt, because
true enough
also fair enough
perhaps
perchance to sleep, aye there’s the rub
I like a nice rub…
On a steak?
That is exactly what I meant
Mmm, spice rub. Delicious, delicious, spice rub.
And back rub…
I guess those can be nice too.
I am too ticklish myself
What? I’d have thought all those squirrels running around would have desensitized you to being tickled.
Not on the outside…
Good point.
They know better
HA! a,b,3, d, e… One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn’t belong. Can you guess which thing is not like the others before I finish my song? (mostly cause I know you have a thing for things)
I do have a thing thing…
For some reason this makes me want to sing…doe a deer a female deer, ray a drop of golden suuuunnnnnn, me a name I call myself……
you go, girl…
Hey, bing bing bing bang, popcorn!
exactly… maybe
Definitely maybe
okay… fine
Hey! Nice Grosse Point Blank quote!
oh…
Nice spot son – kudos to you!
you guys and your movie quotes…
And, yes, that is where I came up with that option.
ha
Hey there Art. I was looking at the Daily Prompts and one came up talking about predictions and the future. Shall we have a game where we try to predict wacky inventions or trends in the future? Perhaps written from the POV of living in the future now? I’ll try to start us off with four lines and see if that inspires you:-
I’ve crashed my flying car into my supersonic refrigerator
More times than I care to remember
These labor saving devices are becoming self aware
Eating all my food and drinking all of my beer
My computer has a virus… which sucks because it is inside my head…
My transporter malfunctioned… and now my spleen is on the outside and I have floorboards imbedded in my knees…
And the tongue in my new alien toilet licked me clean so hard that my asshole might be missing…
Also, the dog will not shut up…
My time machine keeps on malfunctioning
I keep arriving before I have even left
The microwave creates nuclear fallout
All the engineers who try to fix it wind up dead
In the future we are all connected
There are no secrets or hidden agendas
Not all animals are extinct but
Some idiot cloned all the dangerous ones
The good news is: a raptor ate that annoying talking dog…
The bad news: it received a dose of radiation from the microwave and evolved so fast that built a space ship using nothing but items found around the house…
It did not bother to build it outside, and in the process of launching the craft, destroyed most of my house.
The AI was not happy and now refuse to do the repairs.
In some ways, we are far into the future
Yet nothing really seems to have changed
Everything is just as it always was
Homicidal, leaking and full of rage
I want to bury the past behind me
Become master of my own destiny once again
A hobo just stole my identity
I’d chase him but now I can reboot from the beginning
The future is one big IT problem but I’m still winning
We take one step forward and two steps back…
All of our questions give rise to more questions than answers…
We are supposed to have more free time, but we spend less with out families and more doing ridiculous things…
I want to be a cave man again.
I guess my fate is sealed though
I’m more Mr Jetson than Fred Flinstone
Put my brain in a robot
And I doubt my wife would know
There is one thing that is certain
About the future of mankind
Love is still our most powerful weapon
And chocolate still tastes divine
too bad robots can’t taste chocolate or feel love…
Too bad flying cars would still crash…
And as for our wives not being able to tell… they could, but they might remain silent, preferring the new way of things.
That’s deep man. Cool. I’m going to put it all together, edit it and then release it as a poem. I’ll let you know when it’s published, probably will be tomorrow!
coolio
I’m cooler than Coolio’s polar bears’ toenails
that is pretty cool.
I forgot to mention they are also dipped in liquid nitrogen
that sounds painful
Being cool is a hazardous occupation
might get frost bite
You’re right , what was I thinking? I’ll add a spot of hot water too to take the edge off
Add it where exactly?
Where the sun don’t shine
That’s what I figured…
There are plenty of places where this could be
All of them troubling… HA!
Some certainly more troubling than others to be fair
I suppose.
Hi! didja miss me or anything??
Well of course I did.
And now for a musical interlude… and some true geek loveliness:
that was sort of cool
They’re fun. And happy. And I have oodles of new music right now, so I’m also happy.
I am happy for you
I’m going to clap along too because happiness is the truth (Minion Song!)
we have a song???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-GLuydiMe4
oh… right
Lol priceless 🙂
maybe
Also we need to get this sucker up to 30k. I’ll try to start some more comment threads soon. Maybe we should write our poem on here too then we get the best of both worlds!
We could do that!
Let’s do that then – I’ll go and stick the first lines on there now!
wait… on where now?
oh… here, you mean? HA!
It’s HER! Or a HER before a HER! (see Joaquin Phoenix movie)
ha
Yeah, just don’t know if they did this before or after the movie… can’t wait to see that movie. So implausible… and yet not.
…ooo000ooo…
Good luck on your quest to accomplish the ultimate goal of every blogger on the planet. For the record, you may be just a bit out of your gourd. That’s a lot of comments to be replying to. Also for the record, that’s no reason not to do it, just a random fact for the day.
I have been told that I do not even have a gourd… so… uh… thanks.
Sometimes not having a gourd would be preferable I’d think.
It does make it hard to be out of it.
Over 25,000 comments. When you think that half of them are yours, that’s still over 12,500 comments from other people.
Unless I was pretending to be most of those other people…
That would mean a very lot of work for you
No… I make up fake people for a living.
Good idea
It works for me.
So do the minions
Well played.
heh 🙂
ha
I’m not sure it works for me. Also I bit my tongue today. It was really bad. No blood but I need a hug.
awww… here you go… try to be more careful…
OMG! An hour later and I am on the first page. I am now so proud of myself too. I was one of the first comments..commentors… I been here since the beginning! woot woot! go me! It is funny to see the excitement on like 4,000 comments now. Or 6,000 HAH! so beyond that!
I had some pretty witty things to say… and the usual bunch that I have grown to love (in my mind) displayed the reasons for that. That I love them that is. Oh boy, Maybe I should do something else now, I seem to be having difficulties putting thoughts together in logical understandable ways.
That is what we all love about you… HA!
What? The wit? or that I sometimes fall apart enough to be unable to construct a thoughtful sentence?
uh… both
Hmmm, witty things eh, Julie? Well, I’m half-scorched on wine, so do tell. Or rather, you could assemble these mischevious thoughts and create… a guest post!
I want to have some guests here!!!
Word… I’m here. I’m trying to write like a badger in heat. I’m not sure what that means…
S’up yo.
no… I mean I want to do some guest blogger posts… share the love.
Do you mean on here, or on your blog in general? I have some suggestions on that note, if you’re open to it.
I mean on my blog…
Ok, I got a suggestion, in addition to the famous Julie who refuses to guest blog. There’s a writer I know who does not have much of a following, but – and you have to forgive my lack of modesty here – she’s about the best writer I can imagine. Way way better than me. There’s something slightly vicious about her stuff, fiction or poetry, and she spins stories that are just unreal. If you’re looking to share your fame with anyone, help someone get to a bigger audience, she’s the one (in my opinion). Her name is Catastrophe Jones.
But should I start with people who have been followers for a while? Also, I think we should do some blog hijackings… I am thinking of doing posts to get people all to show up on some small blog and go comment crazy.
That’s probably a good idea. I just want to work in a shout-out for her, because she’s shockingly good, but I can do that myself I guess. There’s lots of small blogs and people who would appreciate the attention. As a famous man once said (I think it was me): you have to use your power for good, not evil, man.
That was you?
I came to such a drunken conclusion once.
only once?
You got me there.
I got you everywhere
Stop touching me!
Are we there yet? HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh boy…
oh yeah
you know if you get me over 26,000 I have to shoot for 30,000
You have to shoot for 30000 anyway. I’d be said if you didn’t. And after that, on it goes… I think 50000 is a really nice square number, actually. And I mean that.
You would be said? I like that number too.
I meant sad.
I knew that
And just to keep you humble, I’d like to report that I have 6,871 comments total on my blog… which really is actually a strong statement for the coolness of this endeavor.
But you did thousands of the comments here,,, and now I feel bad…
Don’t feel bad. I’d be perfectly happy if you were launched into the stratosphere you deserve. I’m just around for the fun.
I just want to sell my books…
although doing it on this post would sort of kill two birds…
It may indeed…
I am so self-centered.
Yeah, but so what? You’re honest about it. It’s the twats out there who go on and on about how they’re not in it for the attention that really bug me.
This is a lot of work for not wanting attention.
Exactly.
precisely
You’re famous enough to host guest bloggers, by the way. Everyone knows you.
I guess.
And some even like you!
no way
I’m as surprised as you…
I doubt it…
Dude, you are greatly liked. Even beloved, I would say. That’s rare.
Oh stop…
Never. I don’t stop. When people deserve kudos, I feel that they should have them. It’s only fair.
I didn’t really mean it anyway.
Yeah I know.
HA!
OMG. I am far from famous, and I have agreed already Trent! I just need an idea to take off on. Lord knows I have plenty to say.
Then start saying it and let the idea come from that… then just edit out the parts that aren’t parts…
I know you do. Just keep waiting for you to actually do it.
She is waiting to be brilliant… not realizing that we never bother to do that…
We don’t even know the meaning of the word…
I know…
I mean I am glad you are here… don’t get me wrong…
I know.
yeah you do
Absolutely Julie. Go for it. It took me nearly two years of commenting to be pushed into my own blog, and then I got outed earlier than I meant to but it all worked out and I’m having fun with it. It isn’t this, but this isn’t what I wanted it to be. I come here to have fun and amuse people. I take a totally different tone on my own blog. Sometimes I infect Art’s blog with that tone, but he bounces back well. Consider the guest post if Art goes in that direction. You can do it.
Yes… you can do one here too… if you ever finish the Trent one…
She’s doing a Trent one? It hard to follow the flow in the threads sometimes.
He asked her first… we are still waiting…
I think I’m gonna go look at the first replys to this post. That might be fun eh?
We need to do something with some of these
I believe your next book is writing itself here… you just have to move the comments around so they follow sequence.
That should only take a day or two…
Fog.
My teacher called it a fog snake. The sun pushed it back over the sea where it belonged. It had writhed through the streets towards the harbour, past the ferry and the cargo and the cruise, and it lingered on Cook Strait for the rest of the day.
I’d driven through it that morning; couldn’t see shit. Looking at it lying resilient on the water as I drove home in the sunshine, it didn’t look like a snake anymore, this weird thick band of sea fog. It looked discarded and used up, like old dishcloth lying in the sink.
That was awesome! Fog has so many personalities. Thanks for sharing.
As the fog lifts from my mind
And the pain begins to fall away
I feel I have to ask myself why
Why did I go for the back, sack and crack?
Not all good things come in threes
I have no idea what you mean by that…
Maybe it’s for the best – if you look it up it may make your eyes water
ha
FOG
The wispy white tendrils reaching up from the ground. The thick blanket that covers the land. The hovering droplets of water that send prisms of light spinning. The slower pace, white-knuckled, driving. It greets me most warnings as I shake the sleep from my eyes and get in my truck for the long ride. I don’t mind, though, it’s calm, peaceful. It’s like the continuation of a dream as wind my way through the deserted roads and barren fields.
Very nice… I love waking up on those foggy warnings… HA!
You weren’t being serious? I actually do like waking up on those mornings.
I do too… I was teasing you for bad spelling…
What?!
I missed it completely. Whoops.
Though… are you really in a position to be teasing anyone about their spelling?
uh… no… I am not…
That’s okay. I don’t mind.
I appreschiate it
Anything for a freind.
thanks
you’re welcome
am I?
Yes. Definitely.
phew
Which of the “fog” comments have you liked best so far?
I always have trouble picking favorites… it is like having a favorite kid…
It’s okay, you can tell me. I won’t tell anyone else….
I like a lot of them
boring play-it-safe answer
I can only make one person feel good… and a lot of people feel bad…
As long as it’s me… no, no, you’re right. I wouldn’t want everyone else to feel bad.
Good call.
I am just that soft hearted
Well, yeah… Berkley….
right
Sometimes it’s just that simple.
sometimes
Do you want more consistency than that?
not really
Okay, cool. Then we are good to go.
Um, where are we going again?
And, are you going to the meet-up on Saturday?
I don’t think I can… I wish I could… who is going to be there?
Me.
Rara.
Grayson.
I have no idea beyond that. The Queen and Little Prince will be there, too, I guess. I’m trying to talk Princess Rosebud (from Enchanted Seashells) into coming up too. You should ask Rara who she has gotten RSVPs from.
I just saw the post… I will keep you informed.
I like being informed.
well informed
yes, that
good
Woohoo!
How’s your Wednesday going?
slogging along
Slogging makes it sound bad…
Not bad… no…
Hooray for happy slogging!
See, even then it doesn’t seem good.
I stand corrected and dejected…
Hey! Not dejected! Never that!
okay, good
and on and on
anon anon
yadda yadda?
bazinga
d’oh!
dough
doe
daugh
Are you sure?
naugh
Hah!
haugh
it was me. when I scaird y’all sneaking up on you in the fog.
yes you did
or the Foghorn Leghorn song. That gets stuck in your head ya know..
I like that big chicken
Love this entry, well done Matticus. You guys are so lucky with all your fog.
You don’t have fog? You are even behind in weather…
Not as much as I’d like. I remember fog from my days in the grand ole UK, but it was wet and icky and smelled like industrial exhaust.
eeewwwww
Thanks.
Yep, I think I’d miss it if I moved someplace that didn’t have it.
I just assumed they had it everywhere, at least once in a while.
I’m not sure…
I don’t remember having fog in the desert, but I have tried to block out most of my memories of those years, so, maybe we did.
I have seen fog in the desert.
Well, there you go.
And I’ve seen fog in the mountains. And we both know there is fog at the coast. So, what does that leave? The plains? The arctic?
I seen it in the plains… and the artic gets snow flurries which is almost the same thing.
Hahaha
I’m not sure the people who live through those snow flurries would consider them that close to fog.
Just visually, I mean.
Oh, yeah, totally.
or at least a little totally
partially totally
and then some
without a doubt
well, without many doubts
you have to keep some
I agree
I think
I’m not really sure what we are talking about anymore.
That happens to us a lot.
doubts… we are taking about doubts…
Oh, are you sure? I have my doubts.
Leave them at the door.
Done.
splendid
You missed a fun gathering on Saturday, just a hop, skip and a jump up the road from you.
My daughter was in a play, there was other stuff… I never get to plan my weekends.
Well, family should come first anyway. No worries there.
still, I wouldn’t mind making a plan now and then
Put your foot down. Say, “The last 217 weekends have been about everyone else. Next weekend I’m making the plans!”
Once they stop laughing, tell them you are serious.
After they roll their eyes, abandon all hope of ever getting a weekend again.
So I end up back where I started… with extra humiliation?
Yeah.
So, you probably shouldn’t do/say anything then.
that is my master plan
smart
it’s good to have a plan
so you have something to lament when it all goes awry
of course I do
“yat dat da da de da dum” ~ Foghorn Leghorn.
sweet… hey… check out the new comment number… I just noticed it…
I know right? now what? I guess 30,000? until we hit 30,012, then its 35. pass the pipe!
HA!
I am going to read this whole post when I retire one day…then watch the comments soar! or maybe I shouldn’t considering the last time I tried that….
It is good to have goals.
when my son was about 2 or 3 he got his first pair of light up gym shoes. he used to stomp up and down the hallway when it got dark doing the Foghorn Leghorn song. Talk about classicly cute!
Those light up shoes are cool.
oh yeah and he LOVED em! I would have to wait for him to fall asleep to take them off he would get so mad at me! HA! my baby boy! He’s 21 now. Or 2. (not 22 just 2. He didn’t want to turn 3 he likes being 2)
awwwwww
BOO!!! Scaird ya didn’t I? Know why? You didn’t see me sneak up in the heavy FOG!
Ha… how ya been, kiddo?
SO UNBELIEVABLY BUSY!!! Holy Cow! You went to Disney, I went to work! Man they really want me to work too. Like I am 2 people! I should have been born rich instead of so good looking!
I wasn’t born either one of those… so…
yeah, me either. but ya know, I yam what I yam…
sweet… potato
Did you know that the acronym FINE can mean Foggy Insecure Neurotic Emotional? I’ve heard a different F-word for the beginning, but there you go.
I did not know that
Fog
The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
– Carl Sandburg
I refuse to read all these comments to find out whether anybody else has quoted this great poem. And, you’re welcome.
nobody did yet and thank you
One morning a long time ago, when my very grown son was only six, cotton fog plopped down upon us as we were on our way down a two-lane road between corn fields. My son had to hang out the passenger window and alert me when I was about to leave the road while I leaned our the driver’s window looking for the next lane stripe. Five miles per hour was the most I dared do. It took us probably fifteen minutes to cover the mile or so of that old cut-through that remained after the fog landed on us. Fog, to me, is magical when I’m just sitting on my porch diggin’ it. It was more like a Viking’s worst nightmare, though, the day another cottony world of fog enveloped our little bass boat. Sitting in the back of the boat, I could barely see my husband at the steering wheel, and couldn’t see our friend at the bow at all! We were in the ship channel between the Port Aransas ferries and the smaller channel that takes you to Island Moorings. We managed somehow to stay off sandbars long enough to reach the Island Moorings channel. We were navigating by sound, calling out and answering other fog-blinded boaters and listening as some with poles were reporting depths. By the time we breathlessly made the turn from the danger of being in the path of a large ship into the smaller channel, we were out of the worst of it and were able to bank the boat. Those two uber-foggy experiences notwithstanding, when I think of fog, it’s usually of the snaky file of fog rising from the Brazos River or early morning fog on a tree-lined country lane.
I was lost in a small plane in fog years ago… almost ran out of gas looking for a place to land… that was awesome!!! Your story, I mean.
Well, thanks. So I guess you found a place to land, eh? Were you the pilot or a passenger. I find it’s much scarier to be the passenger — that not being in control thing. I drive our pickup because my husband has no license, and I notice little things seem to make him nervous. It can’t be my driving. I’m a very good driver. Of course.
I was a passenger. Time seemed to stretch our forever.
Fog is what you see when you try to respond to 2000 comments in one day.
Fog is what being on cloud nine is really like.
“Fog” is Australian for “F*ck”, as in “go fog yourself, maite”
I like where your head is at.
I like it on top…
Family blog!
my family doesn’t read it… so…
I thought your daughter did? Doesn’t your wife read it? How could she not???
My older daughter does now and then
Actually, my wife doesn’t really read mine… interesting.
they think they know us
Could be…
They could know us better if they read us.
But do they really want to?
that is the question
If I remember, I actually email the link to my wife when I write a new post. I try to do it very early on so there aren’t too many comments when she reads. Since most of my community is females, I don’t want my replies being problematic. I do agree with both of you though: they might know us better if they would bother to read. That usually results in the lament, “Why don’t you ever talk to me about these things?” and my thinking, “Well first…How much time do you have?” If I thought she could listen without being offended or wounded we might have those conversations. But I tend to aspire to The Book of Common Prayer quote “Give peace in our time, O Lord” and blog it instead of speak it. I cowardly subscribe to the Neville Chamberlain school of marital peaceful coexistence.
Wait until she annexes your Sudetenland…
I like where my head is at, too.
Although Art did ask me to sharpen the cutlasses to behead some disobedient minions…
might be more of a case of hari kiri… ha!
Hey! Self-beheadings are highly impractical and very messy!
We would get somebody to do that… after the ritual self-emboweling.
And down the toilet bowl we spiral once again…
It is traditional to end the suffering with a sword blow from an assistant.
Um, are you asking me to strike you down, Commadante?
No, I am volunteering to be your second.
I feel shorter already.
And you will have a hollow feeling in your belly
Is that what you have planned for me?
What we have planned is waaaaay better than a random, messy beheading…
You know, with sufficient practice, you could make your beheadings clean and organized.
It is about volume…
It’s all in the wrist.
it’s all in the family
The Addams family.
exactly
And possibly the subject of a musical…
I would go see that
You might be the star.
oh…
we aim high
That is the big finish… ha!
so those comments are just foreplay, huh? 🙂
My whole blog is foreplay… and when I am done getting you all ready, I am going to blow your minds… and a few other parts… wait… that sounded wrong… I mean like they will literally be blown right off… wait… they will go shooting off in all directions… of forget it…
I’ll just assume you meant beheadings.
well I didn’t…
The fog horn is the most plaintive sound in the world
I wonder if you still think that if you walk in quiet, when suddenly a foghorn goes off over your ear.
been there, done that
You mean, to other people?
well… yeah
Do they even have fog in Australia? I mean, it being upside down and all. Does it work the same way?
Incidentally, my parents are there now, so I’ll just ask them when they come back.
Perfect. Wait until they stop standing on their heads, though.
never wear a skirt in Australia…
I don’t wear many here, either.
me neither
Good
is it?
I don’t think they will stand on their heads. My parents usually don’t follow local customs.
!
…ooo000ooo…
HA!
I want to go there
Me too.
Field trip!
I have to go to California first.
yeah you do
I’m in the process of buying tickets as we speak.
you need to keep me in the loop
I will. I plan to be in SD for a couple of days, so maybe we could actually meet at some point.
That would be so awesome… when are we talking about?
Well, i can’t tell you here for the same reason you do those mysterious things, but i’ll email you.
I just hope it isn’t when we do another of those mysterious things…
Fog looks the sam upside down…
Unless you’re in the mountains. Then you can get on top of it. It’s magical.
I have pictures of that…
Me too. Somewhere.
exactly
Smokey fog
Choking gasping smog
Bogged Brain
Homework sucks
Soggy foggy mush
Mind malaise
It’s not paragraph form but haiku is all I can handle.
Brilliance.
Ha! Silly man
Only you make haikus entertaining. But yes, I am a silly man.
I’m not the most traditional haiku– er
I do lowku
I do poo doo ku
uh… wow
And I’ll stop now cause I’ll get too silly
uh… silly is what we do here
Just a good one.
tradition schmadition
Exactly.
really?
And a haiku snob…
I kind of am, actually, I run screaming from them when I see them anywhere. But not Audra’s, those I’ll seek out.
I could do ones you like
I bet you could. Do it!
Why should I do it?
You don’t even like haiku
You will just mock me
No, I don’t like bad haiku.
That I would not do
Subject you to bad haiku
I do not write poo
“I do not write poo”. Words to live by.
One would hope.
Trent-If you are a chemistry major, enjoy these scientific haikus I wrote a couple of years ago. And if you aren’t, damn well enjoy them anyway.
Fever, aches and pains?
Try C9H8O4.
Buffered, if you please.
Stink of rotten eggs.
Is it H2SO4,
Or fire and brimstone?
way above my pay grade…
I like them. But the rotten egg smell is H2S rather than H2SO4; sulphuric acid doesn’t really have that strong a smell, even when it goes into salt form during reaction with ammonia.
Drat! A chemistty major finally calls me out.
Stink of rotten eggs.
Sniffing, Is it H2S
Or fire and brimstone?
Quick like a bunny
He’s rewriting on the fly
Each line ends with “y”
oh man
“I’ve come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum.” (They Live, 1988)
Kickin’ chemistry
Majors asses, takin’ names
How’m I doin’ Art.
Hey Trent! 🙂
You are Al Chemist
Making words and molecules
Fit your agenda
Dude, you are awesome… well done.
The steel hand in the velvet glove…
oh snap
Schmack!
schwonk
And this as we continue the our own little blog version of he Bataan death march to 25,000 comments. Again, written 3 to 5 years ago.
Saffron and crimson
Monastic missionaries
Buddhist holy men
Eastern discipline
First five, now seven, then five
Brings me inner peace
(“First five”, “now seven” and “then five” are in their haiku sequential order. A serendipitous discovery while debating the wording “now and then” or “then and now”.)
Excellence desired
First five, now seven, not five
Excellence denied
Excellence aspired
First five, now seven, then five
Excellence attained
Simply deceptive
First five, now seven, then five
Simply difficult
These of course are not truly haikus in the strictest sense since (sense/since: amusing juxtapostition) they make no mention of nature or the seasons. We won WWII though and they lost so we get to make the haiku rules now. It was in the fine print of the “Instrument of Surrender” they signed on the USS Missouri. OOH. OOH. 7 syllables. The muse strikes.
Haiku traditions
Instrument of Surrender
Format revisions
Somebody stop me! I am just that quick and good. ;P
Our side won the war
lay down your brush and paper
we write the haiku
Excellent, アーサーさん (Arthur-san.)
not really
Holy crap! Yes, you are good. Art, you paying attention? This man Dan is a haiku machine, and he’s got some skill yo.
Now I have to look up WWII resolutions…
War resolutions?
I may have stretched the truth.
Creative license
I feel so unresolved
He feels unresolved
For him I feel so sad
Are my haikus bad? 😦
Uh… I made a joke
You talked of resolutions
I played with the word
Until you cock-blocked him with a chemical formula shutdown…
Just trying to keep the science clean.
family blog…
if indeed he is a real man…
He is indeed. We’ve all seen and heard him!!
but have we really
indeed
I love it. It speaks to the real world.
Thank you Sir…
no… thank you
Ooops. I didn’t read the instructions very well. Mine is over the one paragraph limit. By nine paragraphs.
I don’t think Art can count.
That’s a relief!
why
he can’t
I am cutting you some slack
The order of these comments is hysterical. Nonsensical.
there is an order???
Apparently not!
HA!
Here’s my Fog piece:
The effects of the drugs still made reality seem more heaven-like than, well, real. And that was probably just as well. The anesthesia from my extensive surgery was wearing off, albeit slowly. I didn’t yet realize that I had a tube protruding from my nose, that there were wires and monitors stuck to each and every bit of my body.
In that fog, I had a vision. An hallucination. A fearful sight. A clown stood at the bottom of my bed. His red nose seemed to bounce from his chin to his eyebrows and back into position. His other features swirled around too. He must have been quite dizzy. He held a large bouquet of balloons.
He looked at me, and a voice that didn’t seem to, but actually did come from the clown said:
“You don’t really want me to sing, do ya?”
I looked at him and tried to say no, thanks. But I was unable to make my mouth speak.
“How about a rousing number on my kazoo?”
I looked at him again, pathetically.
The clown looked at me sadly, with compassion. I clearly didn’t look my best.
“How about one note on my kazoo. We both have to say we did it.”
I smiled and he played a note and vanished, back into the fog in my mind.
That is just so disturbing… I love it.
The balloons were real. It actually happened but I didn’t know for days as the balloons were tied behind my bed!
ha
I knew you would
See… when I am the conduit for unleashing things like that onto the world, it makes me proud
You da man.
yay
Wait — aren’t we doing fog? Cause I wrote one.
We loved yours
Thanks. Sorry it was so long. I wasn’t paying proper attention to you!
nobody does… sob…
True!
ouch
Fog is a metaphor for life. Fog prohibits us from seeing beyond. What do you see when you can’t see beyond? More of the same, something awful, or possibilities? What do you see when you think about the unforeseen future?
Okay, you are making me think way too hard…
It is good for you
Maybe, but I’m no good at it.
okay
Oh man… that was sweet…
Thanks. I love metaphors.
You make them work for you.
PMAO issued a challenge. “Write a one-paragraph description of fog… or being in fog… or what fog means to you… or what fog looks like… or just something about fog….” And he wanted us to post our comments about fog on this record breaking site. So here is my very brief, one paragraph comment about fog:
Some people complain about the fog in San Francisco. I don’t. To me, San Francisco’s fog is like performance art. It’s fluid, it’s ever changing, it’s magical.
The fog rolling into the Bay Area is the art and soul of region.
“the art and soul of region.” Well said and spot on. Damn, I wish I would have thought to have said that.
I may have to do a few paragraphs about fog on the post, but I doubt anybody will see them.
I’ll trade you some San Fransisco fog for some Ontario snow. Please?????
Just get everybody to go outside and breathe
We don’t like to go outside anymore. It’s -25 C with the wind.
wow
It’s awful. It’s got to end. This has been the worst winter ever.
yet…
I thought I was lost.. like no one else could ever be.. I thought I had no identity.. I thought I was both in this world and outside… no one knew what it felt like being me..
Suddenly, the winds blew.. the windows opened and I smiled..
I wasn’t an outcast.. there were others like me.. the ones who were trapped between living and losing.. between being there and being absent.. yes, I am LIKE the FOG…Present in its lingering absence.
P.S. YOU KEEP FORGETTING ME. but I am the NIGHTMARE that will keep comin’ back lol
That was wicked awesome… and not forgetting… just being busy…
thankiiieeesss and it’s alright..
age catches up on everyone.. you can take a free pass 😛 😀
I really am getting forgetful… I am so old…
you’re so old that you are nearly ancient 😛 😛 “no offence meant”
no offence taken…
Yeah nothing comes for free.. If you had taken.. You would have to pay me for that..
Okay, you could move the jaws a little.. I am trying reall hard to be funnnyyy
gnaw… ha… see what I did there…
My smart phone is very unsmart and my big brain is a bit tooo smalllll… Huh looks like problemmmmmmmmmm????
My phone is smarter than me… and it isn’t even a smart phone.
Haha such a irony.. My fone is funnier than me 😀 but people call it a smartphone too 😛
you can Google jokes on it…
lol that will be lame but it is still an excellent idea 😛 😀
Those are the only kind I have… HA!
Bigggggg Bigggg IDEASSSs
hopefully
I dont know why but “hopefully” alone sounds so hopeless to my ears .. if that makes any sense.
it was meant to… so yes, it makes sense
but you’re supposed to be nonsense.. er didn’t come out right.. i meant you’re supposed to be funny 😛
sometime,s i wonder what expressions you give when you read my comments which are desperate attempts to be funny 😀
Bemusement…
be my muse 😛
I can try… how exactly?
i just broke the word bemusement in style 😛 but you cna come up with somethin’ real smartyyyy
I can’t sit around coming up with ideas for you… but you can get ideas from my posts and use them.
ouccccchhh that hurttttt
MOMMIIIEEEE, hellpppp 😛 😀
Hey… I can barely do my own thinking.
LIAR LIAR LIAR
I have the crack squirrels do it for me…
lol this is what i love about you… pulling one when i thought there was none 😛
I just noticed the comment record blog has over 25,000 comments…
awww… and what’s ur tallyyyy?
I did half of those, I guess.
that’s wicked coooolll
I try to respond to every comment I get.
I try to do the same too, but my job is easier than yours 😛
Well, I didn’t start off that way.
that is inspiring.
I mean I worked hard to get where I am… an unpaid, word junky with a blog…
aww.. i am paidd for writing but not for blogging and that’s okay.. i think work and passion should be kept separate.. it works best that way
How do you get paid for writing. I sell a few of my books, but not enough
I work as a freelance writer.. sigh i am a ghostwriter..
I am too self-centered to do that…
i used to be too but then life happened
stupid life
aww yeahh.. but i define stupidiity
stupidity defines itself.
Yeah, you ate good at
1. humor
2. Philosophy
I ate good? HA!
hahha i am married to typossss
I meant “are” 😛 😀
I knew what you meant
that i knew that you knew.. you’re just smaaarttt
I don’t get called that a lot.
awww… I will call you smarty from now on.. happpyyy?
Yes… I am
yayiiieeee 😛
whee
God bless you 😛
HA!
ah
…ooo000ooo…
….oooo111oooo…
you one-upped me
yeaaaahhh… i have been taught binaryyy in schhoooll 😀
but not spelling… HA!
hahaha I always scored full in speeeeelllinnnggg .. believe me ::P
And Scrabble?
lost too many 😦 😦 😦
But you get all those extra letter scoresssssssssss
hahahah very intelligent.. if only scrabble was as intelligent a you 😛
Nothing is
okay dumb me.. you were talkign of ur own tally 😛 what’s ur AIMMMM
It just keeps going and going.
and it will go on and onnnnn
supposedly
hopefully 😛
ideally
illusion.
oohhh…. good one… illustration
GOOD.. I don’t like better and best.. so i say gooder and goodest 😛
goodenough and goodtoknow
these are good toooo
I strive for goodliness
i like neatliness more 😛
oh… sorry
but i dont cleaaannn
how can you have both then?
I have a very awesome mom.. now put two and two together
well help her out now and then
i try but then i remember i am lazzzzyyy
Some day this will come back to bite you.
then i will let my dig bite it back and scare it away
I would like to see a dig bite something…
okayyyy you don’t have to rub my typos on my face 😛
sure I do
That’s all kinds of psychedelic. Cool stuff.
Yayiieee thank you.. I like cool lol
who doesn’t?
Youuuuuuu
I like cool… I invented it…
There are a lot of kinds of psychedelic…
Fog is:
(1) Something I enjoy observing in nature.
(2) Something that happens to my brain at times, for lots of reasons.
I’m too foggy, right now, to say anything more. I hope you get what you’re looking for.
All the best,
Ann
Thanks… and I know all about that brain fog thing…
Heya Ann! Hope the brain fog dissipates soon… mine tends to hang around.
Heya, Trent! Brain fog doesn’t prevent me from blogging every day, so I guess my readers just have to put up with Blog Fog.
How on earth do you blog every day? I barely utter a coherent sentence every day…
Who says my posts are coherent?
nobody… HA!
You are SO OBVIOUSLY just trying to get your comment count up, with this. Pulllease!
I call it ‘keeping it interesting’
Yeah, you and me both.
make that a triple
Dirty dirty dirty.
HA!
hey… I blog at least once… sometimes 3 or 4 times…
Good for you.
was that sarcasm???
What do you think?
Think? What’s that???
Are you being sarcastic?
What do you think?
Rah-spekt! But you already know (or should) how much respect I have for your blogging and writing.
am I blushing
I hope that’s the explanation.
I did get some sun yesterday.
You need a blog horn
You don’t.
I have one
You need sunlight to dissipate it…
You seem to know a lot about other people’s needs.
That comes in handy for romance too…
Or more wine…
uh… no
You want a paragraph about fog but I prefer writing about what is in the fog, you could always delete this comment but that would rather defeat the object lol so I can write what I like hehehehehe, any way here you are,
It is waiting, always waiting. Obscured from vision, clothed in the heavy grey mantle of the fog, it bides its time. Hairs on your neck alert you to its presence as they stand to attention, then the echo of your footfall, the reverberation of your heart beat, or is it? Pulse speeds up to match the increase in your pace but you will never out pace it, It plays with you as a cat toys with a mouse, you will never out run it. It is inside you, fighting to escape.
Yikes, creepy, Paula! I like it.
I know, right?
She likes ghosts.
who doesn’t?
Freeking awesome!!! Me and my friends used to hang out in a cemetery and drink beer. There were nights where the ground fog rolled in and just the tops of the tombstones stuck out of the fog. When the moon was just right, that was bleeping creepy. Good job. I felt that one!
Right, I don’t do writing challenges, ever. I’ve never done one. But for you and this comment thread, all right.
I was in India for the Millenium, high up in the north with a view of the Himalayas. It’s funny, cold in India is worse than cold in Canada, because they don’t make provisions for it: there’s no heating, no real insulation in the walls of homes. At night, you huddle under five or six thick blankets, and when you wake up, you immediately go for the tea. You have to. But the other thing about winter in northern India is the fog. It comes out of no where, fills up the ditches and watercourses, and then pushes through the streets until you really can’t drive anymore. On one part of the trip, we went into Amritsar, but were so fogbound we must have been driving 3 or 4 mils an hour, constantly on the look-out for random cows or bandits. When you opened the window, the fog actually came into the car, like fingers, and you could feel the heavy chill in it. We drove for hours through that fog, through the whole night. We should have known better, but it worked out fine. In the morning, the fog vanished, like someone had whipped off a tablecloth. We crested a hill and looked down on Amritsar, and I swear the place had never heard of fog. The sun was shining, and it was in our eyes because of the reflections off the Golden Temple and the water around it. We stayed for a week, no trace of fog. We explored that Temple – it really is all gold, warm to the touch from sunshine – and when it was time to leave, no sooner had we driven 5 or 6 miles than did the fog catch us again. This is winter near the Himalayas: no snow, no rain, only fog, the thick type layered with the smell of woodsmoke that you never forget.
well now I wish I had offered some sort of prize for the longest… uh… I mean best comment about fog… Samara gave me an idea about a prize… I might do a post saying I will do a post about the person who does the 25,000th comment… and about whatever they want me to talk about…
That could be dangerous. And fun.
both
And how will you know who puts in the 25,000th comment? We’ve wrestled with this before.
I will have to pay close attention
It’s still a paragraph, by the way. You didn’t really explain any other rules.
It fits within the parameters and was really good.
FOG.
I can’t really conjure up anything at the moment, but I was hoping to be the 25,000th comment.
Does this person get a prize? A marching band to their home?
We got a little ways to go before 25,000, S. Although on any given Sunday…
We used to get that many comments in a weekend easily.
We used to get that many in an hour… Need some X, some Julie, some Babbage, a shot of Jennifer, stir in some crack squirrels, done. Forty five minutes tops.
I have lost my mojo…
No you haven’t. You’re still the most entertaining, genuine blogger out here. No one puts in the effort you do. But the comment record ran its course, no one (including you) could keep up that pace. It was bizarre, original fun. Many are us who splooge our lives into the blogging world, but few actually come up with something novel.
I went and estimated, I think I wrote 2000 comments myself… you put in close to 13000, likely. That’s insane. Don’t argue with my math, either, I have a PhD. That stands for P – h – D. Schmack!
I still think I can drag this out to 25,000… and thanks.
It’ll go well beyond that, I think the idea of you doing events etc in here is interesting. I swear, if you take some of the weirdness that’s been generated in here – the earnest, very spontaneous and quick writing that got slathered against WP’s walls – you’d have a narrative all to itself. To me, this is original. Sigh, I remember when that mattered… now it’s just image and presentation and traffic. I figure there’s no point in sweating the small stuff.
wait… is that last part about our comment post or wordpress blogging in general?
WordPress blogging in general. It seems a lot of it is about attracting attention now. We all want that, I suppose, but you have to draw the line somewhere…I’m getting comments and followers from people who have zero relationship to me… it’s just a fishing expedition, I think, to generate return views. Anyway, we keep doing what we do, stay real, stay a bit unreal, attempt to keep our pants on…
I never wear pants when I blog… but I do admit that the comment post is a stunt… hell, my whole blog is a stunt…
You’re never less than honest about anything. I think that’s what matters most.
I am a voice crying out in the wilderness… to the other lonely mooses and beavers… speaking of which, I got Photoshop to work and will have a special beaver and moose related treat for you this week… in another of my shameless stunts designed to get people to pay attention to me…
I’ll be there. If you need me to do any Mooster T rap in accompaniement, just let me know. I can start hitting the sauce right now.
Can you rap about fog?
That rhymes with ‘log’, right? So yeah.
oh no
Oh yeah… hail to the chief, baby.
Hail hurts…
Hey. What about me????????
And some Elyse! Sorry Elyse!
That’s better.
ha
I got a feeling I shouldn’t cross you.
or anybody
there you go
Yeah… he just got excited… he didn’t remember everybody… because he forgets stuff… just like me…
You are both forgiven.
phew
Heeeeeereeee’s X!!!
X-cellent!
ha
The game is afoot, my man.
and the foot is a game
Don’t get frisky now…
neigh
I’m X-cited, too.
XXX-cited
I thought this was a family-friendly blog.
more or less… how about: Adams family friendly blog…?
with all the talk of cutlasses and beheadings, definitely.
I won’t show pictures…
You did for Dick Cheney.
he doesn’t count
Still, those were very Addams-family-like posts.
He is just that creepy.
Yay!
Thanks, I’d prefer Yay’s to Z’s
ya ya’s
But I’m only here for 10 minutes today, before I have to do things I can’t tell anyone about.
Oh booo… So. What are you up to?
By the way, to be equally teasing, me and Art are cooking something up that has centres around you. I hope you are afraid. I certainly am.
me too
I had a sensational idea this morning…
uh oh
Check your e-mail shortly. The game is a afoot, I say!
My wife is working all day… might need to be tomorrow
No worries. But I have sent you my thoughts, and will initiate the activity a demain. That’s code for “a demain”.
ummm…
Umm, I’m just looking at pretty flowers at a flower show.
P.S. and no, not afraid – looking forward to see what your crazy imaginations have planned for me.
Or should I be afraid?
Right… flowers eh.
We have something planned, X, in honour of you. Probably you should be afraid. We’ve decided to blow your cover, you see.
you will be uncovered
The jig is up.
Get a jig saw
No, really, a flower show. Well, no, really just a huge market of overpriced garden-related and unrelated stuff.
You and my wife would get along.
Really? And you would be Ok with that? 🙂
oh no you di’n’t…
No, I didn’t. Not without Trent’s permission 🙂
right
Ummmm….. good point.
Ha!
sure… why not…
How unrelated?
Like photos printed on tiles, clothing, and flowers made out of seashells.
That sounds cool
Yes, but why is this a part of the flower show?
People have to sell their stuff somewhere…
True, but they shouldn’t be charging $20 for the admission to the store.
I hate that
Me too.
good
WAIT. Did you just say “blow my cover”? Oh, ok, then.
Oh yes… oh yes indeed X. We have done our research. The game is… a foot.
Ok. I’d really like to see which of my covers you will have blown.
the undercover ones
Please don’t blow my undercover covers.
that sounds so wrong
a foot is a measurement…
Maybe for you…
An impressive measurement then
So I’ve been told. Ha!
Ha indeed
simmer down
I’m simmering already.
that is the plan
Ok, so when should I expect the cover-blowing? I mean, in case I have to suddenly leave the country.
If we tell you when to expect it it spoils the shock value
In bed the night after the big chili supper.
uh
Trent already leaked the info that you’re planning to do something about me. (I don’t know what, but it won’t be a complete shock anymore)
I am trying to make him get a little edgier…
you might as well be
Ok, I’ll be afraid, if the Supreme Leader commands it.
He does
Ok, I’m afraid. I’m very afraid.
boo
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
That was a cruel trick she played.
I was actually reacting to your “boo”.
That was her boo wasn’t it?
She made a second boo, but I saw yours, and was able to handle her boo easily.
I invented the boo.
Then make it snappy… fog… go…
I wrote what I think about fog earlier. But my memory is too foggy to remember what exactly.
If you aren’t going to take these assignments seriously…
I think I already took it seriously, but I don’t remember anymore.
me neither… I am getting really forgetful…
That’s why you have the blog, remember?
good point
I will do a special post just for the 25,000th comment maker… about anything they want… oooh… I should do a post about that…
Do you really want a marching band to your home? What if you’re trying to sleep?
They can wear sneakers and play quietly… a lullaby…
And their flutes and oboes have silencers on them.
The drum skins are memory foam
And the strings are made of velvet.
The cymbals are just symbols of cymbals…
As Freud might say, sometimes a cymbal is just cymbal.
HA! Did you notice the new score here???
Yes, 25000 and change.
I can’t believe it.
Take my word for it.
I guess I will.
By the way, do you know who won?
I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon…
Sorry, does this mean we have to go on all the way to 30000 to find out?
No… just to do a post offering some sort of reward.
Like, $5000 to whoever captures and brings you the 25000th commenter?
uh… no
X!
I never sleep…
Ain’t nobody got time for that
Because you don’t need to, or because you don’t have time to? Because I’m only jealous of former, while slowly creeping towards latter.
Because I CAN’T!
X, how many times have we been the only ones hijacking some blog at 2 am?
I’m an insomniac! I need more sleep, trust me. I need a ton of sleep. I just don’t get it.
What’s your excuse?
My excuses? Work, blog, wife, friends, Netflix. I would have made it a list of 10, but I just don’t have to time for anything beyond these 5.
And I don’t think we hijack other people’s blogs often enough. Speaking of which, have you identified a target?
Netflix could be at least 5 excuses alone.
I know! We’re totally behind on our blog hijacking! Wait – aren’t we doing that here?
Although it’s encouraged here, so this would not be considered hijacking in the traditional sense.
No, I haven’t identified any targets.
Maybe we could hit up Jimmy Norman again? He’s always good for a laugh. Although, I like him!
Wait- are we doing this to someone we like, or someone we don’t particularly like?
On this post, it’s not hijacking, it’s just the polite thing to do.
I’m thinking that it has to be a blog which doesn’t get too many comments – 5-10 per post, tops. And it can’t be one with automatic moderation of comments. I have no opinion on particularly like or dislike. I don’t really keep the blogs I dislike in my head – I just don’t follow them.
fine… feel free to hang around and discuss it… HA!
That’s the plan. We shall plan our hijackings here, between 2500000000 other comments, where no one will ever read it.
works for me
I don’t actually keep track of blogs I dislike in my head, either!
I just may have one or two that IRRITATE me!
Wait, why can’t it be one with more than 10 comments? It would still be sufficiently obnoxious to commandeer a blog with a lot of comments.
I seem to remember Art and Trent taking over my blog one merry January night; I had over 100 comments but it was still hilarious to watch them go!
It can be any blog, I guess. I just think it would be more fun if our hijacking results in three or five times the number of “normal” comments.
So anyway, just pick something, and we’ll see how it goes.
I think I should do a post trying to organize a mass hijacking… we all do posts… get as many people to show up as possible… turn it into a regular thing…
You are welcome to join our hijacking team. The more, the merrier.
We should organize it… make it huge
You mean, send the whole minion army and take over a whole blog? Like Putin?
That’s the idea.
Watch out for WordPress sanctions, then.
They don’t care if we comment, do they?
ooohhh… that gives me ideas…
I refuse to let you hijack this post!!!
(does that help?)
NO!
Butt out!!
hahahahaha
We’re trying to help you achieve your goal! Don’t interrupt!
But I try to answer all my comments…
Okay.
Carry on. It’s all part of “the cause.”
I will carry on getting carried away
And I will carry on helping you in the cause, my bloggy brother…
yay…
uh,,, hello…
Ok, this post is 6 through 10, I forgot.
ha
I have crack squirrels in my head… stop whining
I do my best work when I am asleep…
I wish I could do that too, but I’m not allowed to sleep in my cubicle.
HA!
Um, also: word.
also is a word
Oh yeah, I forgot: rah-spekt!
………………………..0
Mooster T in the house yo, laying down that vicious wacked rule of rhyme holmes. I just wanted to let everyone know that it’s still snowing here, on the off-chance that Art will do another springtime in San Diego post.
I am… but now Photoshop stopped working because we got a new monitor…
That’s weird… a new monitor should have a graphics card more than adequate to accomodate Photoshop.
It could be something simple… for anybody but me
I want to become a crack squirrel
You can’t become one, only become infested with them.
Also, you might end up living in my head… which is fine with me…
I’m starting a new thread, because I feel like it.
Because it’s Friday.
Because the sun is shining.
Because I’m crazy, and you like it.
Yay
It is
It is
I do
The sun isn’t shining anymore, but the moon is out and doing a pretty fine job on its own.
it is called night
I’m a fan.
we should do it every day… or… uh… at the end…
Okay, sounds good to me. A lovely way to end the day.