I want to break the all-time record for the most comments on a WordPress blog post.
*** PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS POST ***
Okay, some of you will see this as a shallow attempt on my part to bump up my stats.
And I’m not saying you are wrong.
But here’s the thing… oh, thing, I missed you, where have you been?
I have always said that I have the best commenters on WordPress. I have two posts that have over 1,000 comments on them… True, half of those are my return answers to comments, because I always answer my comments, but still… And I will even go so far as to admit that my comment sections… OUR comment sections… are sometimes the funniest part of my posts. Are you happy now?
But this all has me wondering what the record for number of comments on one post actually is. I want to see if we can break it. Just for the fun of it. We will all be part of a social media experiment. We will all go down in the history books as record breakers. We can amaze and astound the WordPress overlords and maybe have them take notice of us.
And it will be fun.
Oh, and I am a little disappointed that only one person even commented on that cute picture of me as a baby in the last post I did, so here is your chance to make it up to me…
Pouring My Art Out 
It was a circular argument
24,503… I mean 24,504. 25,000 sounds like such a nice square number… if I weren’t half-sloshed on Monday night, I might give it a go.
TRENT!! I READ YOUR STORY! and if that is your picture I SAW YOU!!.. Can I vote there? or is it strictly for Canadians?? Sorry, confused American here…
Yeah that’s me. And yes, you can vote, just sign in. What did you think of the story?
be honest…
ok
not you…
I am not sure, it seemed so dark for what I have seen of you. I have only read one other story and it was also dark.. was this the theme?? I thought it was a bit sad and don’t like to think of children living in such circumstances, although I am sure some exist in much worse, and I was happy that he didn’t jump to his death as I feared he was going to so I guess it gave me much more to think about than I expected.
No worries.
The inside of his head is not all sunshine, unicorns and crack squirrels…
Nope. It’s really not. And I’m okay with that. But occasionally this brain is about pooping unicorns eating crack squirrels, and I’m okay with that too.
that is just silly
I ate him for breakfast. And then burped. And then some other stuff happened…
I remember my first time tripping…
You should really tie your shoelaces. And do hard drugs.
I will give that a shot
Just don’t do it at the same time.
oh
I guess I just expected something a little more light hearted. It is very good writing, because it did stir me..
I swing around a bit, Julie. I always feel light-hearted, but sometimes the words that come out aren’t very light. I wish they were. They just aren’t always. I work in sort of an industry that is a bit disheartening. I tell people I am trying to save the world. There is a tiny mote of truth to that. But it’s so hard. And frustrating. And there are so many obstacles, and sometimes that translates itself into what I write.
Hope you’re working on your guest post and brief bio…
He likes biology…
Mmmmm, yummy biology…
you make everything dirty… it is a gift…
You’ve taught me well.
Don’t drag me into this
Um, sorry, who’s dragging who where? I was normal before I met you! I was well-adjusted and sane! I must say, I’m happier now… but that’s beside the point.
But my mind is as clean as the driven stuff outside your house…
You mean that stuff I peed on?
Were you feeling husky?
Did you just sniff my ass?
you wish
Did you mean “wish” or “wash”?
both
wishy washy
Also, you need more fiber in your diet…
It’s not that kind of ass.
oh… if you say so…
I was going to say: yeah, it ain’t no kind of ass…
You come here for the light-hearted… remember…
Welcome to the race Trent! The human race. I have a tendency to want to mother the world, to take on everyones troubles and try to figure out how to live with them if they can’t be fixed. I am trying to write something for you. I really am. Every so often I think I have it and then it turns into about 4 sentences. scratch that. back to thinking some more. I will get something to you, I promise. (something more than suggestions on things to do with snow)
Don’t over-thing this…
did I say thing? I meant think…
Trent is only happy when he is on my blog…
I don’t think that’s true, but I don’t think anyone on your blog is unhappy while they’re here. It’s like disneyworld.
That is a very nice thing to say.
Don’t forget at the end of the day though as you board the tram to leave, you’re parked in Goofy.
That is a clean version of that joke…
Really? I have never heard a blue joke referenced around those circumstances. I have head the one about Mikey and Minnie in court getting a divorce over her being crazy.
You mean she was f&%$#*g Goofy…
that’s the one. That’s the only “Disney” joke I know.
Because making fun of them is dangerous
That’s well-said, and totally true in my opinion. I just saw your note above that you are writing something… not sure why I didn’t see that before, but glad you’re at it Julie.
me too
Mr. Shy in black and white… Canadians haven’t invented color yet
don’t be silly, they have blues. lots of white yeah, but big blue skies too…
close enough
Maybe by this weekend… but I got a thing to do on Saturday.
I’m around.
all around
Edging closer to 25K. That’s fairly awesome.
No… it is extremely awesome.
Well, okay, yeah, extremely awesome does seem more fitting.
That is what we are.
We? The royal we? We, all of the commentors? We, you and the crack squirrels?
We all of the above
Cool.
yes it is
Fits us like a glove. Made of comments. Snugly. I don’t know where I’m going with this, I may require some sleep but I will be back soon enough.
Sweet dreams. If you have trouble falling asleep, just count the crack squirrels.
They move too fast
In that case, just count Art’s posts…
good idea
I know!
HA!
I’m glad I amuse you.
We amuse each other… it works for us
Woohooo!
Oh, wait,… you said amuse
never mind
careful now
Careful?
Why?
that is how rumors start
rumors can be fun
they can be
We should start a bunch of rumors!!!
Hey, did you hear there was going to be a gathering of talented writers in Long Beach on the 22nd?
Did you hear that Trent *&%$#% a wallaby?
What was he doing in Australia?! Or was it at a zoo or something?
How should I know… I just start rumors, I don’t explain them.
Did you hear that the crack squirrels are thinking about going on strike?
I could use a break
Did you hear that Art is giving up blogging?
(And, that’s how rumors get started.)
I wouldn’t blame him a bit.
He can’t quit now! There are more milestones too break!
He is all washed up…
As long as he doesn’t get blown away.
right
Much nicer day today.
it is cloudy
Never blog when you are groggy… no groggy bloggy…
Excellent poem. Beautiful flowers you’re showin’. Okay, I’m goin’. Lucy
sweet
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Thanks…
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whee
I saw this and I thought of you…
http://photography4beauty.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/posando-para-la-camara-3/
that is one of my squirrels!
I just found another!
I saw that one somewhere… it can’t be one of mine… they never eat.
It escaped! Quick, get it back in his head before it’s too late!
too late
Here, Here! That’s more like it. We evolutionists have nothing for which to apologize (and that dear sir, is a grammatically correct sentence or, GC).
I’m sure it is.
Also I must ask the crack squirrels are you related to Tufty? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BrivBSv20Y
well, we are related as a species… but we wish we had that cool accent and nice manners…
I think he has gone from PMAO to LMAO!
PMLO… pouring my lunch out
Thought I would pop over and see how things are going, are WP acknowledging the awesomeness of this post yet? Or the ensuing insanity in the comments,
They don’t care… even the minions have lost interest…
Not all of them 🙂
yay
Question for the crack squirrel? Rumours say that you “indulge” with the Mayor of Toronto when he is in town. Can you confirm or deny? Follow up…Aren’t you afraid he will sully your reputation.
We do not ‘party’ with any humans… that would be silly… but if we did, it would be a human much cooler than that.
Oh… we do not party with that Justin Beiber character either.
But if his name was “Beaver”?
Beavers are weird…
What a totally brilliant idea – the crack squirrels as Agony Aunts and Uncles, oh the mischief that could be had boggles the mind!
Breaking Bad Squirrels
Dear Crack Squirrels, do you know why we don’t have squirrels in Australia? Also, are you related to possums at all?
Possums are dumb and smelly… and yes, we are sort of related… sigh…
You have no squirrels because your little island drifted away from the rest of the landmass before the smart animals had moved to that part of it. Now you are stuck with weird pouch-mammals… and lots of poisonous stuff… We suggest you all go to the sea shore with big, wooden paddles, and try to paddle your island closer to a place that has the majestic squirrel…
I have this image in my head now. Thousands of Aussies with paddles, paddling their asses off. Hysterical!
That would be a fun Photoshop picture to do…
Dear crack squirrels, Is there anybody going to listen to my story all about the girl who came to stay?
You told a story?
That was the Beatles’ story (song Girl)
ah
Exactly. “Ah giiiiiiiiiiirl… giiiiiiiiiiiirl…”
HA!
We could also have gone with: If you write it, they will come…
Me not good writer, as was just recently demonstrated. If I write it, they will go away.
You know that isn’t true.
Compared to the award-winning head minion writer Trent, I’m not.
It is just a different style
Well, come to think of it, I AM an award-winning comedian and artist. But still not a writer.
I think you are
Dear crack squirrels, do you think I’m asking way too many question?
No… we came up with this idea… we will tell you when we get bored.
Dear crack squirrels, if you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?
Not a human.
Dear crack squirrels, where do you see yourself in five years? And what is your greatest weakness?
We only live for 3 or 4 years, so we don’t see ourselves anywhere. Our offspring, however, will rule the world by then.
Ok, I will accept “short lifespan” as greatest weakness.
We live fast and we live hard…
Dream hard rage hard? As the head minion’s motto goes?
If you dream or rage hard for more than 4 hours, contact your physician immediately!
I try to dream hard at least 7 hours every night.
oh my
Either I dream hard at night, or rage hard during the day.
I dream about raging… saves time
Dear crack squirrels, what came first, the chicken or the hen? And is that how the question is supposed to sound?
That is a false question… we did a post about it. An early reptilian ancestor that gave live birth the way we mammals do, slowly evolved to use the calcium in its own body to create a hardened shell around the embryo instead of a soft sack. Once the ‘shell’ had evolved to be thick enough to survive outside the womb, the animal changed and began to ‘lay’ these ‘eggs’ so it didn’t have to carry around the fetus and become a fat, slow target for other meat eaters. The embryo could now continue to develop externally in its own little armored womb. This allowed a larger number of offspring to be produced.
Fish use a similar system, depositing many eggs, but they never developed a hardened calcium shell.
Also, this all occurred millions of years before the feathered dinosaurs that evolved into chickens had shown up… so it is a stupid trick question…
Umm, the question was “the chichen or the hen”, though I appreciate your extensive research. 🙂
we aren’t really good readers…
And I’m not a good writer, apparently: WTF is “the chichen”? 🙂
It was a city in one of the Mezzo-American cultures… Chichn-Itza
Oh yeah, I was there once.
Was that the Mayans, the Incas or the Aztecs?
Used to be Mayans, but now mostly tourists.
When do the tourists say the world is going to end?
Usually in about a week or so, when they have to go back home.
those bastards!
Dang it, I spelled my wrong spelling joke wrong
That’s very appropriate.
It is, isn’t it
Dear crack squirrels, I have a question. Do you crack under pressure?
We do crack under pressure… (HA! See what we did there? Because we ‘do’ crack… so… uh… yeah)
I see what you did. You did crack under pressure, right?
I guess…
Hi crack squirrel, just wondering, how come you taste so good in butter and brown sugar?
We did not know you were the Canadian version of a hillbilly… that is the only kind of human who eats squirrel. Now we will send a message to our kin that live near you. They will pay you a visit some night while you are sleeping and we will see how your nuts taste.
Dear crack squirrel,
We are holding one of your brethren hostage. Soon, we will baste him in red wine and eat him with a delicate chianti and some lima beans.
We will send photos. Now the next question: how come crack squirrels have microscopic genitalia? How do you procreate?
Uh, we do it faster than you do, human… And enjoy yours… while you still have them.
Counter question: Why do male humans have such microscopic brains? How do you think?
Dear crack squirrel,
Most of our thoughts originate in our male genitalia, which come in varying sizes, shapes, and intellectual quotients. Quite often, you may find us being led by those so-called penis-brains, tugged about as it may by the first sight of a mating partner. However, I must inform you that crack squirrel breast is actually an aphrodisiac for us, and thus perpetuates our small-brain-in-penis problem.
Your big words are obviously compensating for something…
Yes, they are compensating for the small frame god put around this enormous phallus…
If your dick is bigger than you are, maybe you ARE the dick… did you ever think about that?
Crack squirrels, hey buddies. I need to know, is being Art’s glorified handmaidens as glamorous as it seems? Do you get pension and income protection and all that shit? Is the crack good quality? Do you have a union? Want free legal advice?
Uh… it is dark and scary inside his weird little head. We only moved in because it looked like a cozy little nest. But this guy was weirder before we got here. He doesn’t supply the crack. We have to send foragers out to the parks at night to look for hidden stashes of busted dealers. So it isn’t always good. But we had the idea of starting a blog so we could learn about humans. Some of them are nice.
“Only the squirrels know.” Why do I continue to live where the temperature goes below zero for days on end?
Because humans, like squirrels, form friend and family bonds that are hard to break… it is a mammal thing… and we get busy storing our nuts for the winter and feel comfortable where we are. We also forget how bad winter is when it is gone.
Oh, hahahahaha. pretty squirrely!
We are all just mammals… doing what we do as best we can,
ya think? hahhhahahhha….
yes… we do
Squirrels are pretty smart creatures. They keep trying to invade my kitchen in the spring and summer. Must be all the cooking of Food!
They don’t really care about human food… unless you cook a lot of nut dishes…
Nuts to that.
well played
Nuturally.
HA!
wait… I just got that… the spelling… good one again.
Thank you!
I am not always fast, but I get there sooner or later
So squirrel-y!
good point
Just ducky. Leave the squirrels to their own de-vices.
oh yeah… I use that word all the time… when I talk about my love of cartoon ducks…
hahahahaha. ducks to that or philasyndactylisma. Say that three times!
I can’t even say it once…
ah come on, sounds like Phyllis sin dack tile is ma. Hahahahhahah.
I think you just swore at me in Welsh.
could never figure this out: Is it Welsh Rabbit or Welsh rarebit? Off on a new animal. Let the squirrels recover.
or is rarebit Welsh for rabbit? or do they just under cook it?
good question! Apparently it is a sauce made of cheddar cheese served on toast. Hmmm. nothing to do with Wabbits welsh or otherwise.
It sounds tasty
It does doesn’t it.
indeed
Hey crack squirrel?
Why don’t you pick on somebody your own size?
Do you know anybody our size?
Only Lucky: http://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2013/07/16/lucky/
ha
Poor Lucky. I don’t think he is even Sorta Lucky any more.
you don’t know that
Dear crack squirrel. I am concerned for your health. Drugs make everything worse in the long run. Do you have problems dear squirrel? Is there a squirrel rehab near you?
Aunt Sharon.X
Ummm… we don’t really live that long anyway… and other animals is always trying to eat us… and this makes it feel like we live longer because we get more done… and we haz a blog… so…
Hey crack squirrels:
Why don’t your ladyfolk have visible boobs?
They have enough to get the job done… the job of feeding baby squirrels… why are humans so fascinated by those things?
Do you have a hypothesis, Mister Crack Squirrel?
Well… they do like a little like soft, giant acorns… so…
Crack Squirrel,
How do you feel about squirrel hybrids (http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/775315-bigthumbnail.jpg)?
ooohhh… creepy… I did some pictures of spider monkeys that were half spider and half monkey… (that was me, not the squirrels)… they say that is a chipmunk or a ground squirrel… not a real crack squirrel…
I feel ripped off. I need to speak to a real crack squirrel. I need to know if the hibernate in the winter or if the crack makes them feel like super squirrel and they just act squirrely year round.
Oh, we are squirrely all year around, and we never sleep… does that answer your question, human???
Thank you. It answered my question. My next question is about the crack baby squirrel epidemic. Is it true it causes reverse dyslexia?
It must be… we are breeding a new race of blogging squirrels.
oh… but we do rely on the spell checker thing quite a bit.
Are they responsible for the blogging occurring on Tumblr? I don’t think they understand spell checking very well.
we or they? who are you asking?
Ok, crack squirrels,: Exactly how much is all the tea in China???
Most of it isn’t grown in China, and there is always more going in and going out… of Chinese bladders… so it is a trick question…
Dear Crack Squirrels.
Not counting the invention of Crack what is the most important event in history?
The invention of the plant cocaine comes from…
Ok what is the most important non drug historical event?
The invention of the nut.
that is what I would have picked too.
You are wise… for a human
When I was born my grandaddy said to me. “If you want to get ahead in life think like a squirrel on some kind of controlled substance” It has gotten me where I am today.
They just moved into my cranium while I was asleep… so…
Does the crack squirrel know if I will win the lottery tonight, because I really don’t want to go to work next week?
Two of them think you have a shot… the other 47 say no way… sorry
How come you did not enter the Mad Libs contest?! Since you didn’t can you at least go and vote for my entry?! http://fishofgold.net/2014/03/06/mad-lib-contest-results-3/
how do I vote for you?
There’s a poll at the end of the post
I didn’t see it… I will try again…
Okay
I did it
Yay thank you. Did you read them all? Get a good laugh?
I sort of skimmed it.
Some are pretty funny but mine is funniest. Some would beg to differ…lol
beggers can’t be differs
ha
thanks
I did it!!!!!!
Woot!
tooW
To the alleged crack squirrels; is pink the new black? Do giraffes secretly wish for soup? And finally, what’s it like up there; any drafts? Breezes? SUNLIGHT/ RAINBOWS!
no… yes… some…
Arrh! Avast, me hearty! This web posting belongs in Davy Jones’ Locker!
Yeah, verily. Yet, it doth continue to clamber reeking from its grave as if ’twere a zombie.
Is there naught we can do to kill the btard, matey?
Nay. There is naught to be done save to continue to feed it comments everlastingly, until one may be found with this posting’s bane or WordPress be forced on bended knee to confess to record for sheer number of comments broken.
But that c’ld mean never, ye lubber!
Aye, so it could indeed. We are, in fact, doomed.
That was the most awesome comment of all times… during the pirate/Shakespeare era…
Thank ye, matey. Fer that compliment, ye’ll not be keel hauled like the swab ye are! Yaaarh.
Yea, verily, an excellent compliment indeed, which flows from your keyboard as rain from a summer sky and is just as welcome.
now you are just showing off…
Of course I am. When did you ever think otherwise?
good point
Yep, T’was a mullet, matie. Shiver me timbers it’s cold in here. Pay the electric bill, preppy. Lucy
boo….
aaaaannnnnnnd this makes 24,300! TA DA!
sigh
like you are just missing something??
yes
Do you ever feel like you were destined for something but you can’t figure it out??
yes
me too. (of course) a lot. I had a psychic tell me that I would be very successful and make lots of money at something I do that comes naturally to me. something that I don’t realize I could get paid for. She wouldn’t tell me what it was. I still haven’t figured it out..
It sounds like the psychic had her niche figured out though.
maybe
I meant the psychic had her (the psychic’s) money making niche all figured out: telling people what they like to hear.
I get it
why am I reminded of that hooker joke I told… HA!
i’ll have you know, that was the first thing I thought of too but I didn’t go there. I behaved for a change.
yeah… what up with that?
I was afraid I would somehow end up with it sounding sexist and being offensive rather than amusing. “Yeah, something you have a natural talent for. would be good at and get paid a lot of money for doing. You should be a hooker.” It didn’t seem worth the risk of hurting Julie’s feelings taking it that far. I don’t know her all that well, Now Elyse…all bets are off there. HA
sigh
hard telling if I would have been offended or proud. I can’t imagine anyone paying to have sex with me.
“I can’t imagine anyone paying to have sex with me.”
What does that mean? You didn’t say you wouldn’t have sex for money, or that you couldn’t imagine being payed for sex, but that you couldn’t imagine someone paying to have sex specifically with you. I am curious as to what your feelings are there. Why don’t you click over and come pay me a visit? I really am fascinated by that premise and see building a post around it. I don’t want to hijack Art’s blog although he may not mind another thread propelling this toward 25K comments.
You can have that conversation on this post… we might learn something… and just for the record, I can imagine people paying a lot of money to have sex with me…
Well, since I’m unsure of the quailty of the product, I have to ask if you have change for a ten.
That should cover and hour at minimum wage. 🙂
Yeah, you want the bargain basement…
You don’t know men at all, do you?
yes, exactly that. I can’t imagine anyone paying to have sex with me.
You lack imagination.
You obviously haven’t spent time where the service is offered in volume or the purveyors are incarcerated. It would both surprise and puzzle you as to whom would be payed money for sex. Niche marketing at it’s most abundant level.
word
Testify.
Testy-fie
oh yes, I do know men. Lots of em.
I am just teasing… and I am not suggesting prostitution as a career choice… for anybody…
no, I haven’t spent much time around anywhere people are paying for sex, at least not as far as I know, maybe I am just blissfully ignorant?
Good for you.
a five and five singles oK??
sigh
That should cover minimum wage and the tip easily. Leaving the door open as I exit…
And you are leaving with more shame than you came in with… my work here is done.
OH I THINK I FINALLY REMEMBERED THE JOKE!!!! the 25cent one? HA! Glad I didn’t offer to make change for the ten with coins!
I love that joke
Trying a different approach. Just asking questions. maybe I should go back to talking to myself?
I am doing an ‘ask the crack squirrels’ thing on this post this weekend…
I had to work all weekend, but the squirrels did get some interesting questions…and gave some interesting answers…
They are crazy…
I took my car to the mechanic last friday. I needed tires, back breaks, transmission fluid change, oil change, a new head light, new fog lights and tag lights. Bonus? They also removed the mouse house from my engine. N/C.
bonus
why is it some people are only happy when they have made everyone around them miserable?
because it is fun
How many cats can I have before I would be considered a cat lady?
12
good. glad to know I have plenty of wiggle room..
wiggle away
Why is Walmart so annoying?
because it is evil
What’s this I hear about you and Trent in a chocolate shower???
long story… ha
Red sky at night, sailors delight
Red sky in the morning sailor take warning.
my dad used to say that. Vacation time in Bemiji MN on the lake….
those lakes have crazy weather
summer vacation there a couple times. That was where I got my first leech. Just a tiny one, but a leech nonetheless.
Hope it wasn’t a harbinger of things to come in your future.
ha
probably, I have met my fair share of bloodsuckers.
ha
I thought they were tropical
apparently not.
well… yeah…
my dad also used to sing “there are 2 little words you know that will open any door with ease, one little word is ‘thanks’ and the other little word is…” and wait for me to sing ‘please’. He was a good daddy. I miss him.
Sorry he’s not still here but glad you have those memories. No matter how old you get, you daughters will always be our little girls.
word…
Many fond memories of both my parents. I remember thinking when I was younger the world would be a much better place if everyone had my parents…
I feel that way too.
of course we do!
yup
awwwwwwwww
I do that too
I was a sailor… so…uh
really? so is this true?
sometimes it is
Loved your law firm post. Lucy
thanks
Arrgh matey’s! What’d I miss??
uh… a few things
oh. I guess I will have to catch up then
Don’t bother. Art won’t remember anyway and the shelf-life for any specific thought is pretty short around here.
I might… what were we talking about again?
“Check the Comment by” date before typing.
Check your preconceptions at the door
Pshaw! Date by smate by! You had some pretty heavy thoughts going on…..
It ain’t heavy, it’s his brain bone
Yeah, but not always. Like I replied to Art, we introverts contemplate I do loosen up here most of the time. The good things is, unlike me being boorish in person, you don’t have to read my blatherings here. Were the concepts all that heavy, or was it because I was talking about death that made people perceive it as heavy? Basically, all I proposed was, if you are going to stop your blog, let people know. If you are leaving, say goodbye. If you want to leave some parting thoughts before you stop your blog, please do so. That doesn’t sound like a bad idea if someone stops blogging does it? It sounds like a civil, thoughtful and even pleasant thing to do. Let us know if you are stopping your blog so we can adjust. Not at all heavy…until I tied it to death. Then it was received very differently. If any one of us stopped blogging, we would put up a final post. But when I mention to do one as an “obituary” for a trusted friend to post, it then becomes “heavy.” Same actions only received differently because of that one circumstance. It’s almost silly how we refuse to acknowledge the inevitable and not act in a way that will ease the pain of those that care about us and are left behind to mourn us. If you want to get comfortable with death, talk to an old person. They may or may not be welcoming it, but they have come to terms with it. There’s no reason we can’t do that sooner than later and ease that transition when it happens. After all, it’s our loved ones who will be doing the suffering then, not us. Why not make it easier for them?
And don’t forget to make a will… and get some insurance…
See?? Like that!! I guess I used the phrase “heavy” when I suppose “thought provoking” would have been more appropriate… One theory I play with suggests that death is another birth. The fetus growing in a woman only knows the womb until it leaves the comfort and warmth to the loud and bright world. the human only knows the world until it leaves for the next place.
heavy does mean thought provoking where I come from
What’s this about thought revoking?
thought regurgitating…
BTW, nice clouds!!
Okay. I give in. Submitted for your pirate approval:.
Where are your buccaneers, Captain?
Under me buckin’ hat.
another classic…
I would also have settled for:
Captain, you have a steering wheel attached to your belt.
Arrrrrrr… it’s drivin’ me nuts
Bring me another cabin boy. This one’s full.
ummm….
The mildly chastising “ummm.” A line has been crossed. Forgive me. Not editorializing. Just running with the joke format. Poor choice.
walk softly and carry a big ummmmmm
how much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
a buccaneer…
HA… I must hear a lot of jokes
Silly girl. A buck an ear, of course. 🙂 Pirate watch word for the day: Keep buckled up and don’t expose your swash..
Keep your zip drive closed… don’t let your disk pop out
I know this one too…
Arrrrrr, this week blows!
A Great White bravo for that one.
Yarrr, and now tis time for bed soon and back to that filthy bilgewater that be the day job, a black spot on any sunny day if there was one!
nothing worse than a sad pirate
mix those metaphors…
awwwwwwww
Liked your ‘Tips for new bloggers’ post – so I’m commenting here to help your worthy cause.
Thank you sir, you are now a part of history…
😀 a few seconds of fame anyway
But with this you can pick what to be famous for… you can’t with 15 minutes of fame.
Being dead to everyone brings up an interesting point. Okay. Interesting to me anyway. I have been thinking about my death post. No, I’m not being morbid. I was thinking about the people who earnestly follow blogs and develop relationships there. At some point the relationship will come to a close. I have been thinking about what I would want in a last blog and testament to all my net friends and how I could get that posted. To do less seems inconsiderate and thoughtless to me. Where do I archive that post and whom do i trust to mail it out to the various blogs where I have friends? It isn’t like there is a blog obituary column on WP, or is there. Maybe there should be a password-protected place on WP, Blogger and the like where you can archive your “final” post and set up a mailing list to be notified. You just provide the password to whomever(s) and leave it to them to hit the “GO” switch at the appropriate time.It could even be a “hidden” static page on your blog that a friend turns on at the time if you haven’t deleted your blog yet. Just a thought..
Dude. You’re not dead to me. Mostly because I just met you. This is a totally downer of a subject – what gives? Were you not blogging for a while? Too busy? Either way, be well.
be of good cheer
Naw. Not at all like that and it certainly wasn’t directed at you. That comment was a follow up of the previous one which was on another of Art’s posts and meant of him to follow up on.I don’t even remember the topic now. I’ve just had a rash of funerals of late, about 6 in as many months and they made me think of how would I know if one of my blogging buddies met a surprise demise (rhymes nicely). How would I and the rest of us know we had lost a friend, espicially if we wanted to send a word to their family via their blog. It wasn’t meant to be morbid. You just begin to realize the importance of those things when they become a persistent part of your life in such a short span of time. I’m fine…I hope anyway. HA
I would hope someone in my family would do a post…
That’s the whole point, Art. Why just hope? Write it and plan for its dissemination. Write a love letter to some, a goodbye note to others, maybe an apology to some even. I know it sounds macabre, but fast-forward to having it done. Think about what you were able to say to Trent, Guap, X, Hotspur, HH, MOA, and all the others. How good would that feel knowing they knew just how much their friendship meant to you? No loose ends. To me, that means a lot. I tell all my friends with living parents to remember to tell them how proud they are of them at that time if they haven’t yet. For a parent, who else does it really matter to hear that from. If you are the one leaving, tell the same to your kids. Hearing it from someone else will not be anywhere near as satisfying. We value most the respect of the ones we love.
I will try to die of something that gives me enough time to say goodbye… or else just assume I love you all.
Okay, just checking – I like to see happy people, but that’s not always the case. I have no idea how I would get in touch with people if they left, it’s an interesting point that I haven’t thought about before.
My dad died of cancer about 15 years ago and we had time. All of this didn’t occur to me then. Now I’m older and closer and with the death of my BIL and his opportunity to plan being a model, it just seems not only a responsible attitude to take but a considerate and natural one.too. I may not be too pleased when it happens, but I won’t be hanging around grieving either. I want to ease the pain of those I leave, limit the niggling details, and have them know they are free to celebrate my life without feeling they should be going around wearing long faces. My maternal grandmother died in her early 50’s; my maternal grandfather in his early 90’s. I’ve got her beat and I’m hoping for more of his genes now. I want every minute I can get if my quality of life is good, but I am now past ignoring the inevitability of it. When it happens, my suffering will end. I see no reason not to limit the suffering of my family just because it’s more comfortable to live in denial. With that, I’ll drop this topic. Thank all of you for your patience and unmerited concern for my health and mntl…mintul…mentul…mentil….Oh hell. I’m really not depressed; just too introverted for my own good which makes thinking deeply about these kinds of things part of my lot in life.
I’m a massive introvert myself, I feel you on this. Be well, my friend.
Go watch the Oscars Trent. Different tone this year.
No cable. In addition to being an introvert, I’m a hermit.
a hermovert
I like it. Blog post topic! Define: hermovert. Expand my vocab, dude.
you said you are an introvert and a hermit… I combined them… I might also have gone with: intromit
No that’s what I meant, I like it. Make it official! Call Webster’s!
Call them what?
Wankers? In your face, dictionary!
Willy Wankers and the chocolate factory…
Now there’s a story…
Or a gay porno flick
Which is also a story.
maybe
was that a racial observation?
Say what? Not as much ballyhoo this year was my point. You had a different one? I usually don’t watch them for all the endless hype. That’s what ruined the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade; all the gratuitous promotion that slowed it down and even stopped it dead in it’s track for the latest hit single from some artist who needed publicity..
I was just teasing because of the particularly international flavor…
No kidding there. The Best PIcture acceptance for 12 Years a Slave was pretty much, “Whadhe say? I did like his jump for joy at the end though.
I wasn’t paying that much attention…
I go both ways…
It’s actually more like a continuum than an either/or situation, with introversion and extroversion at the extreme ends. We can also exhibit those characteristics to varying degrees in differing area of our lives. I am very much an extrovert on my job but an introvert at most social gatherings. I have a very strong identity and awareness of my capabilities on my job. I am not so sure of myself in my social persona though.
I overcompensate
We introverts over-contemplate. No argument there guys, huh? Got that blog obituary done yet? HA
not yet
That is NOT what we were talking about, but please, go on…
I am an extrovert and an introvert…
An exinvert.
in-x-s-overt
That sounds dirty…
yeah it does
I have an inny and an outy
I’m sure it’s just the cold…
hey now
Okay, it’s not the cold?
it might be
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Unless you’re a man – ha!
unless I am…
I am adopted… I have no medical reference… but tall people often do not live all that long.
We will add it to the list of stuff you haven’t thought about
Meanie.
Did you get my e-mail?
I slept 4 hours… I am going to bed… I will catch up on my reading tomorrow
Do it. Go to sleep.
Me too Trent. Getting up at 6A tomorrow for a job. Do look in to that book I sent you the link for, OR for which I sent a link to not dangle my participle. It’s way too cold out to be constantly dangling it. There is another interesting book which is followed by a second: The Highly Sensitive Person. I have commented here on some post somewhere here at sometime in the past about how though not all introverts are people with sensitivity issues, 70% of all sensitive people are introverts. The term used here does not mean just I am sensitive and my feelings are easily hurt. It is referring to how sensitive people can easily become over aroused by external stimulus and it is not meaning only sex. Guess I managed to qualify the hell out of that. Most people perceive sensitivity in that limited way and don’t realize the breadth of the issue. When you say someone is a sensitive person, people hear they are emotionally high-strung and easily upset while constantly getting their feelings hurt. That may be some or none of it when it comes to sensitivity. Both books are easily approachable reads and not at all textbook-like.
Can you send me the link again?
Good luck with the 6AM start; it’s 6 AM here, coincidentally, and I’m hard at work.
Here you go.
Yeah… there you go…
hard at hardly working hard… hard-y har har
Dudes should fire me.
no…
Meh. Whatever.
yeah whatever
And some of us are just shy
I have been getting some work which is unusual for me this time of year so I did fall behind and then there was the Olympics with girls in short skirts on skates, not that there’s anything wrong with that. They’re not stiletto heels, but I’ll take what I can get. Then I get caught up in writing drafts for post. My stuff is usually lengthy, has links and is not easily written like the slam-bam I do here for fun. I write with a dry self-deprecating sense of humor there, and it’ a lot more difficult to do. Most post take me about 3-4 hours of researching and tweaking. I don’t get to blogslog as much as I used to.
not stiletto heels… just big razor blades… ha
You are taking your blog very seriously, I see. You can just schedule a post-mortem post, for a future date, and just keep rescheduling it while you’re still alive.
Or don’t ever die
I’d like to, but how do I do this?
Hey, I can’t figure out everything myself
But if you can figure it out, you can be VERY rich and famous.
true
Maybe you’d even get 30000 comments then
I think I will sooner or later
Like Nancy Reagan said, “Just say no.”
That didn’t even work with drugs.
Well, yeah. There is that to consider. Hope springs eternal though.
So do drugs
I said no… to Nancy…
that should work
I’ll take that under advisement. I’m not ruling anything out at this point.
fair enough
Thanks for that tip. Seriously. I mean, what if we all didn’t hear from Art for a week. Would’t you become concerned and wonder if he was okay? If not, we’d all want to know that too. I don’t feel we are all just handles and gravatars on a screen to one another and that’s what prompted that comment. That’s a good idea for a solution.
I would think that Art went on vacation, and I wouldn’t blame him. Responding to 15000 comments is hard.
Naw. He can’t keep a secret for long. Every time he leaves, he’s either going to SF to see his little buddy or on a secret mission that he can’t tell us about until it’s done. Then he comes back and tells us something bogus like he met Darth Vader or went to Skywalker or to Disneyland and met Mickey and Walt, Yeah, right.
Hey… well… yeah
Yes, people are starting to figure things out and ask questions.
Yeah. I never bought into that “Art, I am your father” crap he was trying to sell after the Skywalker Journey. Speaking of: Watch the email Art. I am sending an old related techo cartoon around the “I am your father” line.
ok
or we could not tell everybody my travel security secret code
Or you can schedule posts to be published during your vacation.
I usually type something up, I just can’t do the photos or photoshop stuff.
I am going on a vacation in April…
If you don’t hear from me for a week… I am dead… or in Hawaii
umm… Ed Hotspur had all his blog friends write mean obituaries to him… mine was awesome.
Can you share by email to give me an idea?. If not, I understand.
An idea for what? you could search obituary in the search bar if you want to see what I wrote…
My brother-in-law was worried no one would show other than family. There were over 100 people there when cancer took him. After seeing how beautifully his funeral went, especially for his wife, I have been working on mine. I have actually gone to some specific people and “pre-invited” them. I want some of my work aquaintances to know they are welcome to be there even if they know no one else in my family and there are some I am inviting because I know their character and know they will be of comfort to my wife, kids and family with their presence. Why not do that? Once they get over the awkwardness of my admitting I’m going to die some day, I suspect they may feel respected and honored that someone would care to want them there in those final moments. I mean, it’s not like they have to bring a gift or catch the casket spray at the end to see who’s next. 🙂
I should do some posts about death and loss…
Where be all the minions now? Swab the decks, you cretins, and bring me my cutlass. It’s ham night! It’s the cutlasses! It’s ham night! It’s. The. Cutlasses!
I was too busy sharpening my cutlass, after I tried to scrub the deck with it.
that actually does work
Well, you were in the Navy – so that’s how it actually works?
It takes the barnacles off too
Do you have to wear scuba gear to dive and clean of barnacles?
It helps
As long as barnacles don’t wear their own scuba gear and just move around from one place to another.
they do, but very slowly
Some of the other minions were doing worse things with their cutlasses…
I gave them rubber ones…
Hey, those aren’t cutlasses!
whoops
24,501… I mean 24,502! That never gets old.
are you sure
Yeah, every comment is a different number.
It is funny how that works
Math is fascinating.
I can’t do math
And that’s why you have minions.
good point
Yeah right X, I bet that’s what you were sharpening your cutlass for…
that is so deep
My God. Is it?
There are so many reasons I need a sharp cutlass for. Scrubbing the deck, for one.
for one
close enough
I used to drive a Cutlass….
Wrong kind of cutlass, Julie.
maybe
sigh
It has been really slow on the net today. Even with all the blogs I follow and the spam, I’ll bet I didn’t get over 15 mails today, and most of them in the afternoon. That’s with 3 mail accounts to check. It could also mean I’m dead to everyone. 🙂
Or you can think of it as free time to do all the other stuff.
you can…
Not me I can’t. Minion duty awaits.
A minion’s work is never done
Unfortunately, no. And even if we get to 25000, you’ll start eyeing 30,000, am I right?
It is hard to stop… but people are losing interest
I know, so many other posts to comment on.
I need to stop being so clever
Please don’t ever stop.
oh… ok… fine
This whole week has been slow.
Put on some roller blades. That’ll speed things up….
Not for me it wouldn’t
A bike?
yes
What are you waiting for then?
I have to inflate my tires
Do you need to borrow a pump?
possibly
next time I’m in your area I’ll bring you one
Hey, are you going to the blogger interactive meetup thing in Long Beach on the 22nd?
I am waiting to see if a few people I know well are going.
Hahaha
If we all do that, then nobody will go…
Well, if you are the only person I know, then I could just drive up and see you any time, right?
True, in theory. But, would you?
I might meet you half way…
Funny story…. Long Beach is just about halfway.
dang it
I know! Life likes to mess with people like that.
yeah it does