The next victim… uh… volunteer for the interview series is… okay, this is embarrassing. I don’t know what to call this person. This is where being a computer moron sucks. The gravatar is a picture of a goose… and beside it, it says Al… but the blog is called: http://kattermonran.com/ and to be totally honest, I know nothing about it. And now I feel bad, because my downy friend leaves lots of nice comments here, and I once again realize that I know too many people who like my blog but I can’t seem to find time to visit theirs. I hope this interview makes up for my bad manners.
Here is the interview…
——————————
1.What do you like best about my blog?
I like the humour. You bring a smile to the day.
(Okay… there is an unneeded ‘U’ in the word humor… that might be a clue!!!)
2. Do you like monkeys?
Only if they are not wielding axes. Welding axes is fine, but not wielding.
(You mean monkeys that weld axes, or monkeys that have axes used in welding…??? Are there axes used in welding??? I am both lost an amused)
3. If you won a free, month-long trip to Paris, but each day for one hour you had to stand under the Eifel Tower naked, would you still go?
Why not, it would be fun making people throw up 😆
(It is not that easy to make French people throw up… they eat snails)
4. What makes your blog unique?
The web address. Other than that, it is the same as a great many blogs
(Sigh… I was hoping that question would yield a little more information to cover up my ignorance)
5. If you were in charge of the universe, what is the first order you would issue?
All people over the age of 20 must be issued with a light saber and learn how to use the force
(Now we are learning stuff… a sci-fi fan has to be cool)
6. What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?
Walking into a shop and asking if another member of staff is seeing anyone at the moment.
(This sounds like the beginning of a romance novel… or a sexual harassment lawsuit)
7.Would you rather spend the day with an adult, a kid, or a baby?
It depends on the age of the adult, the interests of the adult and the interests of the kid. Probably the kid.
(Oooohhhh…. you were slipping into dangerous ‘wrong answer’ territory for a moment there)
8. What, in your opinion, is the worst thing that Dick Cheney ever did?
Breathed?
(Best answer to this question yet!!!)
9. What is the worst thing that you ever did?
Uhhh …. breathed? lol
(I hope this low self-esteem thing is just a comedy bit, because if not, I might have crushed what little spirit you have left with this interview thing)
10. If you could have dinner with one fictional character… including cartoons… who would you pick?
oooohhh. Ummmm. Not Jessica Rabbit, nearly every male will have her. Oooh Catwoman. As long as she has her whip 😉
(Ah… an unexpected turn of events… spicy!)
11.If you were locked in a room with a knife, a barbecue, and a living cow, would you die of starvation before you could bring yourself to kill and eat the cow?
I would probably try and trick the cow into breaking the door down by charging me. If I couldn’t and I had the choice, I would like to say that I wouldn’t kill it.
(I love the using the cow to break out idea. Unless the door was so sturdy that it caved in its skull… in which case, win/win situation… and you do realize that if you starve to death by not eating the cow, that it will die a horrible, slow, painful death by starvation too… did I take that joke too far? I never know where the line is)
12. What one word describes your blog best?
Mixed
(You mean like the cans of nuts? If I wasn’t so busy today, I could have at least looked at a few of your posts, but my kid is sick… and…)
13. Is there one celebrity that you would leave your family for if they declared their undying love for you?
Nope because it would be total crap. They’d get bored and move on to the next person. They always do.
(I like the way you turned that around on them… also, you didn’t say it was a morally bad idea… you just didn’t think it would work out… you are either very complex or you have been dumped by a few celebrities)
14. If I got my hands on a photo of you and did funny things to you in Photoshop for a whole week, but you had no input into what I actually did to you, and I posted everything I did, would you be okay with that? And can I have a picture of you?
You could use the goose. I don’t have photos of me
(I can get a goose off Google… say that five times fast)
15. What makes you cry?
Overflowing tear ducts
(Uh, I am the smartass around here)
16. If you could cuss out one famous person, living or dead, who would that be?
Dunno. I probably wouldn’t. Oh, actually – Abe Lincoln for that STOOPID HAT!
(Another hint! The goose is a foreigner… Americans hate extra ‘U’s’ and we love that hat!)
17. Tell me the truth, do you really like me?
If I didn’t I would probably avoid the question. And your blog. (You’re okay for a crazy squirrel infested headcase 😉 )
(Awwww…. you do care… now I feel even worse for completely ignoring you!)
18. What kind of circus trick would you like to be able to do?
The trapeze
(That actually would be cool to be able to do, but you couldn’t do it at parties, like juggling, unless you carried around a tent, poles, trapezes, nets, and a few other people… in which case you might as well get a tiger and start your own circus)
19. Which drug side effects from those TV commercials disturb you the most?
The ones that make you think that taking the drugs are actually useful
(You are cynical and jaded… I am definitely going to visit your blog… very soon)
20. Who the hell do you think you are?
I’m the person your mother warned you about
(My mother never warned me about anybody)
21. Now tell us why we should follow you…
You don’t want to follow me, I have no idea where I am going either
(Ha, I use that line all the time)
Just for you…
1. Are you a duck or a goose, I keep forgetting?
I am a goose 🙂
(Are you sure?)
2. Have you ever been arrested?
I have. Once. In 1991
(So you don’t mind mentioning it, but we get no details… I need to be more specific with my questions)
3. What is the weirdest thing you ever ate?
Mint choc flavoured crisps. Not only are they weird, they are also disgusting
(That was the best you could do? Must have been good jail food… ha!!!)
4. Can I have some feathers to make a pillow?
If I had a cent for every time I was asked that, I would have a cent
(I will give you two cents for some feathers… then you would have two… or three)
Thanks for these Arthur 🙂 Gave me a giggle
(Nice try, but I always get the last word)…
——————————–
Now is the time where I tell you to go visit my friend’s blog… but that would be a little hypocritical at this point…
Pouring My Art Out 
Enogh of this?
I think yo may be right. I think we have maybe sed too mch and taken it as far as it will go. I will say thogh, please don’t remove the u from bend
Would you guys like to take over for the rest of the day?
LOL I am heading off to do my own thing in a bit. It’s 21:30 here and I need my break and life back 🙂
That’s what I thought you would say… sort of…
😀 Enjoy the rest of your day
you too
sigh
You GOTTA like Al. Before he cut off a stair, I knew him for a long time as “Alastair.” He is the #1 commenter on my blog (with twice the comments of the next contender). He’s a good writer, a first-rate photographer, and is almost my match as we try to out-pun each other in our comments. Sometimes I humour him by leaving the extra “u” in when I reply. He can see (1) the White Cliffs of Dover and (2) France from his apartment (so you can rule out Canada). As I said, you GOTTA like Al. He’s my FAVORITE friend in his country (I don’t know anyone else there).
Maybe he can see them from Canada because he has really good eyesight… Sara Palin could see Russia from her house…
My reply: http://tinyurl.com/2qr8dv
That isn’t the only meaning of the term ‘rimshot’
MY meaning: a tribute to your quick, witty reply.
phew… and thanks…
That could have been messy. I shall refrain from the crap jokes
really???
Thank you Mr JR. there is always a lot of u in your humour
And u in yours.
Or it would just be yors… which would still work, I guess.
Withot u everything changes. I mean, where wold we be? A nmber of things cold happen. I don’t think we wold be able to get arond to all needed to thogh.
Don’t get so wond up abot it.
It is the extra u’s in words like color that we need to be careful of. If we say colour, why not Canauda or Americua or I louve you?
But wold that mean that the Mona Lisa is in the Lovre?
see, this is why we need rules.
Or rles
…ooo000ooo…
ha
Ha – Great innerview with the Goose the Bird Whisperer!
Thanks… we all seem to be having fun with this…
Well, you may be hehe
Seriously though, what does seriously though mean?
good question… should have put that in the interview
Why, thank you Cosy Rosy 🙂
You’re welcome my friend 🙂
Feel the love…
That was very entertaining! He’s either Canadian or British. Go visit his blog !
Thank 🙂 me or Arthur?
It was a team effort.
You of course, Arthur…well…yawn 😉
pufut
what?
I am giving you your extra u’s…
Well, I have never been to Canadia
HA!!!!!
😀
You mean Canada? I have however been to England. 😉
Well who hasn’t???
you
I have been… I posted pictures.
I’ve been to like 28 countries.
well you world traveller you
yup
I’ve only left England a couple of times
Probably for the best.
Where have you been goosey?
Ha… Mother Goose slam…
or was that just a question?
I went to Germania and French. In 1981 my uncle was in the army just outside of Dortmund, and we stayed at his flat for 3 weeks. Going to Frenchieland was just day trips. I’ve not been anywhere really decent.
Sounds like an adventure!
It was 🙂
Was it clucking awesome?
You should have seen the quack
Oh, I can imagine.
You ain’t seen quack til you seen quacker quack
The rapper or the porn movie???
You know him?
Not personally
Hmmmm
ha
Germany is nice… and so is France. I have been to both twice.
You should come to America… I will introduce you to Dick Cheney.
And I can say “Hello Dick“
You can.
I am hugely popular in England, Canada, Ireland and other places where they almost speak English.
And some where they don’t. There are also others where they are warming the pot for him and seasoning it.
Love me or hate me… as long as you read the blog…
😀
pft
You forgot the ‘U’… that is spelled pfut… ha
lol
no
I think the word you are looking for is “infamous” 😉
YAY!!!
And they rule the ocean. 🙂
You have a point there…
Yes it’s my eye always peeking and watching. I’ve heard that it tends to creep some out.
It is just so dark… I mean, it is a very nice eye… just… so dark…
It’s part of the mystic.
That’s what the sharks say too.
You are keeping your eye on things
Like that tower Sauron has…
Or Sour-off
His brother… the guy who made candy?
That’s him! Willy Wonka to his friends
That is a weird family.
Especially when the O’s become A’s and the A’s become O’s
I hate it when that happens.
Me taa
?
o’s become a’s?
oh… duh… saary
wait… na, that is sarry, sarry, my bod.
Tis akoy I knew whot yau meont
I knaw yau did
I couldn’t figure out if this is a circus or the zoo. Llama, Goose and a clown. It was fun reading. My dear friend Al Abe’s hat was the height of fashion in his day. We yanks love it. 🙂
This is both a circus and a zoo, also an insane asylum, mental healthcare unit, a space ship, a hotel, a museum, art gallery and parking lot… I hope that helps clear things up…
It does. I might fit in.
Oh… we don’t care if you ‘fit in’ or not… if you don’t fit in, we just get a big wooden hammer and pound you into the gap you are supposed to fill. Is that your real eye? because it follows me around the room and is creeping me out a little.
The “height” of fashion may be the right word 😉 I wonder if it was because he was getting high,
A llama, a goose and clown walk into a bar.
Barman says “Is this a joke?”
Llama says “No, if it was a joke, I would have said Why does Edward Woodward have so many D’s in his name? Because if he didn’t, he would be Ee Wah Woo Wah“
HA!!!
I enjoyed this quite a bit… perhaps it is my animal nature that can relate so much to a goose…
oops sounds like my goose is cooked 😉
Have no fear, for llamas are herbivores….
Perhaps I should be a different animal. I do enjoy a nice hunk of cow on occasion…
Steak… Steak and eggs… Now I am hungry. Thanks Goose…
You’re ‘avin a llama banana!
I like a chunk sheep.
???
That was supposed to say “I like a chunk of sheep”
oh… phew…
A goose with a cockney accent eh?
Is that what that was… or a speech impediment?
I’m going with an English goose… I could be wrong though, I haven’t seen his “teeth”.
There is some sort of deformation on the beak.
Geese teeth freak me out.
As well they should
yeah man or … yemen
never been there… either one… ha
Carnivorous llama… good name for a band…
Get down with your bad self
Haha
I know
Animals should stick together… maybe you can go on a cruise… I will build you an ark
Ohhhh a 40 day cruise! Sounds wonderful!
The weather forecast looks good…
As long as it isn’t cold I don’t mind a touch of rain.
Hey… I am not offering to flood the planet and kill everyone and everything just so you can take a cruise… I am just building the boat.
A job worth doing is worth doing right….
But I can’t kill my minions…
I’ll concede that point.
Thanks you.
I want to know what a “Coven Ant” is. I mean, is that like a “worker ant”? and why did it have the Ark? I thought that was Noah?
A coven ant is an ant that knows witchcraft… and I think Indiana Jones played Noah in the movie…
I think he was one of the woodworm actually
oh
😉
I was thoroughly entertained. Thanks to the duck and duck interviewer.
I tried not to duck any of the questions
doh
😀
Now he is going to try not to goose you… right?
Let’s hope so. Or I may have to give him the bird
DO IT
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That is cool.
That was one I copied. The one I did myself didn’t come out too well
ha
😉
Thank you.
Goooood one.
Thanks Trent 🙂
You’re a funny man, my friend. See Art, I don’t just flirt with the girls – I flirt with geese too. And given where I’m from, we really like geese.
You just like flirting with all the birds 😉
Ah, well said.
😀
He is the birdman of Alka-Seltzer… he is the birdman, he is the birdman, he is the walrus!
Are you quite okay? Or are you dating yourself again? ewww, gross
I am a hot date.
Gross.
well I am
He is an equal opportunity flirt. We used to call them dirty old men, but that sounds better.
Yeah, I am the dirty old man 😉
whoot
Um… he might be a she… I still don’t know… because I am an attention whoring self-centered meat stick…
I thought geese were asexual?
Not in my experience… ummm…
More gross.
well…
yay
People are nervous because you set the bar so high
I think the word “low” might be more applicable.
Either way it makes it hard to order drinks.
That’s why you sneak a mickey in your sock.
What does that even mean???
A mickey is a 12-ounce bottle of booze. You sneak it in your sock and spike your pop.
That all sounds quite dirty…
Only if you do it wrong… like really really wrong.
That is how I do things…
I’ve noticed.
good
That’s not dirty. “Dirty” is a filthy old tramp sitting on top of a compost heap sucking diarrhoea through a sweaty sock.
And that is just one scene in a porno movie…
You’ve seen Dirty Girls Go Dirt Digging then
A classic.
Definitely.
That is true art.
awwww my favorite birdman in the blogosphere. 🙂 I was laughing because I could have guessed many of your answers…well not the arrest. Well done 😉
Also, you are still stewing over the girl in the shop? Let it go….let it go. My mom never warned me about a goose carrying a mixed bag but she often spoke in terror about axe wielding monkeys.
(okay back to sleep before you lecture me)
Fun interview…I enjoyed it.
Thanks Anja. Those geese carrying mixed bags or even carrying bags of mix
You are welcome 🙂 Now…what you carry in these bags…are they partially to blame for the arrest?
No, but they are responsible for the back problem 😉
I really want to make a joke about a bag I carry around that has led to lots of problems, but I am way too mature for that… sigh…
I have a bag that caused a back problem a couple of times with my ex-wife. Well, she says it was me as we were married at the time
Was it a golf bag?
It should have been. I know it had balls in it
oh man
HA! It was flying South without an entry visa
Stuffing mix? HA! I kill me!
Stuffed mix or mixed stuff
No… like bread crumb stuffing that you cram inside a… oh… never mind…
That could hurt 😆
precisely
Thanks… what about axe welding monkeys?
Is axe welding something we really think should be handed over to the monkeys. I mean, look what they have already done running the government…oooops what?
The ones who got stuck in government work aren’t the ones who are smart enough to either wield or weld axes, or weld while wielding axes…(say that five time fast)…
I said it 6 times…BOOM
HA!
As for the arrest, I was caught stealing milk from a door step.
Get a goose off Google by Googling geese
I know why your mother never warned you about anybody, she was busy warning others about you 😉
That is the theory
😀
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Mint Choc crisps are a special edition and I think they were made by a “special” person. Take a look
Oh… you may be right then…
Yeah, not the best of things to taste. I wouldn’t suggest it
I have eaten worse… trust me…
But you need to eat more weird things…
Sprouts … they can be weird. I mean … who decided that it would be an idea to eat creatures that would cause flatulence?
I have had rattlesnake, ostrich, some really strange sushi items, I like to live dangerously… that doesn’t include stuff I ate on a dare as a kid.
Like cigarette butts and mud pies. Or sandwiches covered in sand. But that was the general fodder of the seaside.
There you go.
😀
You are both too funny…I limed Abe’s hat and Im Canadian. Great answers, Al.
Thank you 🙂
That hat is just … tall. I wonder if his head really was that big.
It was huge
So he was big headed
Oh yeah.
I can’t tell if ‘limed’ Abe’s hat is a good thing or a bad one???
liked, I meant liked!! {slaps forward)
ahh… okay… now what does slaps forward mean???
Imagine placing the palm of your hand on your forward and saying DUH!…:D
Now it just sounds dirty… HA!
Eye roll {sigh}
sorry
Hey, I am not teasing you… I can’t spell… my spell checker stopped working for a few weeks, and I had to use small words in all my comments, and even when it works, it doesn’t know when you use the wrong word that is still a real word… and I never proofread my comments and replies…
Well, I make lots of typos when commenting from my smart phone because I am all thumbs. I miss my Blackberry keyboard…even on a bumpy bus I don’t make errors but these screens are…yuck
It is sort of fun trying to figure out what you mean… which is why people like my blog… trying to figure out what I mean… sigh