As I got out of bed just a while ago, I was struck by this warm, wild, crazy feeling. There is only one word for it. Love. I love you. There, I said it.
You really have become a family to me. And in those sleepy, wandering moments the brain goes through as it rises to full consciousness… or at least as full as mine ever gets… I had this image of all of us, sitting around a Thanksgiving table. It was almost like a Norman Rockwell painting.
Just one huge funny, slightly dysfunctional family, and me sitting there, looking around the table and feeling the love. I see warm grandmothers and busy, nurturing mothers, taking care of their children first. The slightly offbeat Uncle who you never know what he might say. The nieces and nephews that you don’t see as often as you like. There are brothers and sisters that sometimes drive you crazy. There are youngsters, just starting out in the world, and some spry older folks full of wisdom and history.
Some of my family have been hurt by life and left slightly damaged. Some have turned to destructive things. And I wish there was more that I could do to help them.
Some of my family is a little too shy, and I wish I could get to know them better.
Some of my family are new in-laws, and I wish I could warn them about how weird this family can be.
But I wouldn’t be any other place.
And the really funny part is, that since I am adopted… some of you might actually be my family. Hey, I’m just sayin’.
Pouring My Art Out 
Maybe we’re related.
I am adopted, so…
well then…
Yay… I have a sister!
š
WP is the best and so are you long lost brother
awww… that’s sweet.
Yes I agree, we could almost be twins, I was wondering how you managed to look just like me, no seriously if you put a picture of me alongside yours and look at it, you know from a couple of miles away (Telescope Required) then you can instantly see the similarities, I think you have a longer one than me though (Longer nose that is) š lmao
Have a funtastic rest of Tuesday
now and Happy Hump Day for tomorrow š
Andro
Somebody just pay up.
Twinship with you involves some kind of cash transaction? Let me channel Yogi once again: “Gentlemen, include me out.”
This started because I was trying not to pay someone for something, and I… never mind.
Consider never minding already done.
ha!
Length without girth is nothing.
The planet girth.
Ya! Maybe so, what about that ten bucks I lent you?
That was my twin brother…
He ain’t talkn’ bout me.
Oh aren’t I?
Was you?
Wasn’t I?
Is we is or is we ain’t your constituency?
That sounds like a quote from Pogo…
Homer Stokes: Is you is, or is you ain’t, my constituency?
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
No doubt inspired by Pogo.
No doubt.
We have seen the enemy and he is us. Does it count if I don’t use quote marks or show attribution and just pretend its mine?
I know for a fact that that is Walt Kelly, the creator of Pogo Possum…
Now I feel like Bob Hope when he said to MAYBE Johnny Carson, “If I had my writers here, I’d kill you.”
You should feel like that.
Or by that song… Is you is or is you ain’t my baby…
The level of sophistication in the script of O’ Brother would led me to vote for Pogo as an influence. There used to be a strip named “Shoe.” Very reminiscent of Pogo.
I read all the Pogo books. I might even have them in the garage.
Explains a lot.
Maybe.
Me neither and it wasn’t five bucks
it was closer to twenty… Remember? š
Andro
Here we go.
Remind me never to lend (in honor of our English major I didn’t say “loan.”) Art money, or pick up the check for that matter.
Don’t lend it, just send it.
I can neither lend, nor send because I overspend.
Howabout a blend… if I may amend… around a bend…and extend… and not offend… a fence to mend… now don’t pretend… my heart you will rend… I did not intend… and so on…
While lacking in context, it did posses a light fragrant body portraying amusement although exhibiting a musky after-note that tended to linger a bit to long making it somewhat less than satisfying. Perhaps a bit more maturing would help..
It wouldn’t hurt, that’s for sure.
Abandon all preconceptions, ye who enter here. Tell us who you are. Not having seen your race or face, we have yet to decide. Come try our little family on for size. It’s a cozy fit.
I am neither a racist nor a sexist… why would I be a bloggist?
Well, everybody gotta be sumpn’.
Not me… I have a sump pump that takes car of that for me.
What a nice thought and well conveyed, but it’s nothing like the dream I had that you were in, I’ve also had one with Le Clown and Madame Weebles in it. They were weird
I’ve had an Arthur dream too, with his mother, sat around the dinner table funnily enough!
We were all dressed, right?
We were; it wasn’t anything weird or racy or anything like that…it was just nice.
You haven’t met my family…
No…it was a dream…
I get that…
Cool…I’m going to give you a present later, I hope you like it.
Why wouldn’t I?
Figure of speech, and it’s very rough.
That sounds ominous.
Rough as in I need a decent microphone…it’s in your email.
I have to read it tomorrow. Been driving all day… 5 hours of sleep… house is a mess… dog is crazy…
No problem; I am away for four days so won’t see any of your replies in that time, take your time either way, it’s not going anywhere.
Who told you you could go away???
She who must be obeyed.
He’s not married to El Norte is he?
You never know. For all I know, none of you even exist. You might all be WoprdPress robots.
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
Don’t lose it on me now. Hang in there.
No…Ayesha of course.
Say what???
She who must be obeyed – from the book ‘She – A history of Adventure’ by H. Rider Haggard……of course.
Of course.
Can’t of course here. Don’t read a lot of fiction and not much fantasy.
That’s sad.
I read for knowledge mostly. Even my fiction reading has a learning side to it. That’s probably why I like John Grisham. I also read some non-fiction Jerry Spence. Obviously, the legal system is something I find interesting. If you want to get some idea of the intricacies of trial work, read Spence’s From Freedom to Slavery about the Ruby ridge trial among others. It’s fascinating how little technicalities can make big differences.
I like Grisham.
Not so much the non-legal stuff for me. Should stick to his knitting. Probably lookng to stretch.
Don’t be so critical.
Ooooh. Smoooth. Goes down easy. Whip up another one like that.
whoosh
Nothin’ but net.
Net gain!
Sounds like specialty reading material to me.
soft porn?
Fantasy, silly.
Could be the same thing.
Some weird seminal fantasy novel from the 1880s that I’ve never read and have no interest in doing so…he also wrote King Solomon’s Mines.
It’s still a big deal read for fantasy aficionados. Include me out.
Never been out of print…together with the bible and fifty shades of grey…go figure.
I’m one for three on that reading list.
Enlighten me.
Bible. I was going to say neither of the fantasy reads but thought some probably would consider that open to interpretation and up for debate. To each his own.
Bless you for thinking that any other fool is reading this!
Naw. No fools reading this at this hour. Art is already in bed, which is where I should be.
I know; he doesn’t sleep soundly if he can’t hear your breathing.
He wouldn’t sleep if he heard me. Gagging apnea if no CPAP.
I have that too…
Explains a lot. Probably went untreated too long. Lot of cerebral cyaonosis.
cerebral mayonaise
And you wouldn’t sleep if you saw him eat, apparently.
No one sleeps near me… I am just that fascinating.
Fascinatin’ withim
He’s got us on the go
Fascinatin’ withim
āŖ ā« āŖ
I told you I was gonna wear this notey thingy out.
Note to self. No more notes to self.
shut up, you two!~!!!
sorry sir…
I was trying to sleep… I gave up…
awwww… you two were bonding…
Most of my followers can’t read…
They are truly blessed.
good answer.
Just one more among so many others.
true
That’s how you get away with writing that!
It is how I thrive.
This ain’t no book club.
I forgot. It also a “No Literacy” zone.
Write on!
REDO. I forgot. This is a “No Liturissy” zone. So much bette than the first. Best part. I beat you to the rewrite.
Can you read the words that are coming out of my mouth?
Not with that Fuller brush blocking your lips.
Respect the stash or I will spend three weeks re-blogging all of the funny mustache posts I did!
Not if they had lousy stats you won’t. I’m on to you and your lust for numbers.
You are a cynical fellow indeed.
Try dieting.
NO. NO. NO. Don’t come dragging in the next morning butting in with you litte witicisms. That parties over and you left early. Every party needs a pooper and it might as well be you āŖ ā« āŖ…..
I got stuff to do
Ouch!
i sat on myself…
Not the good part, I hope.
On most reading lists…
My books never been out of print.
Too bad they didn’t run out of ink and paper.
sob
But your book is good.
Awwww… shucks.
and invented mine craft
This is untrue.
You can’t be sure of that.
He was espousing views sympathetic with those held by El Norte so I intimated he was married to her. That is his response. Quit butting in. Your slowing communications down and skewing the stats.
That hurts.
Oh, alright. Butt away.
SHE wouldn’t be Canadian, per chance?
More Arabia way…but you were close…thank you for playing.
Is Arabia even a place anymore? That’s so saudi
That’s very placist of you…I expected better.
This is an “Expectation Free” zone.
I expect that’s true.
There you go. By George, I think he’s got it.
Do I get a prize?
Oh hang on…I’ve got one here.
Then you just hang onto it.
…but it’s crap…
Then I was right in sending Art for it.
That’s not very christian of you…
Well, Christians aren’t perfect you know. It seems to be a common expectation by non-christians that to some degree is perpetuated my legalistic holier-than-thou Christains. We are a never-ending temporal work in progress. This question didn’t offend me. I didn’t reply this morning because the broadband went down right after my last reply about 6:50 GMT.
This is a blog for all denominations… to make fun of each other…
I tried.
Me too.
And convicted.
I got convictions.
With no time off due to a lack of good behavior.
You have no idea how right you are.
That’s ok, I knew you’d get there in the end…and I was only teasing; one can usually get away with that with a christian…
It interesting how I can choose to believe in the natural sciences but still anchor myself in Christianity. I have no problem believing in God on the one hand, but have no problem believing the Earth is billions of years old on the other. It really has little to do with heaven, hell, or eternal life for me. It’s more about a structure that at its purest encourages us to pursue our better selves for the good of all. That’s probably why I like the film Kingdom of Heaven so much. Balian see the evil and greed hiding within the church hierarchy in the name of religion and rejects it to do the right Christian thing. The Muslims had a slightly different opinion of the right thing. And so it goes still.
Yeah…I find it all a bit weird; it makes no sense to me whatsoever…but each to is own; my wife likes coffee and I still married the woman!
What… is she an American???
No…people in other countries also drink coffee.
They do???
Only because they want to be american.
Oh. That’s all right then.
Or a colonial sympathizer? A house divided!
“Which side are you on boys? Which side are you on?” āŖ ā« āŖ I warned you.
That was a little flat.
Is that the writing or music critic speaking? I know. Here we can do both.
We are all things to all people.
As long as you concede the possibility of evolution, I have no problem with any of that.
Just don’t tell the rest of the congregation. The pastor before this one used to call me a closet liberal because I was always listening to NPR and watching PBS. There is more than a grain of truth for both audiences of course, but I’m a little more conservative than the average patron.
That was somewhat vague…
Perfect.
Perfectly vague.
Indeed.
Right.
Turn the other cheeky-monkey
I did, but it hurt my hip sitting on just the one.
They make replacements now.
careful
And he spelled it with the lower case “c.” He’s a mixer, that one.
Life is a mixer.
Thanks to Fred Waring, it’s now a blender.
Or a bender.
Use to be a nice shower gift when women knew how to cook. Now they just take the beaters out, grab the handle and its Beach Boys time. Doot, doot, doo doo good vibrations āŖ ā« āŖ….
Well now that I know how to do the little notey thingy I have to over use it.
Where is the little notey thing?????
The eigth and sixteeth notes after the word “vibrattions.” Not there? Like these: āŖ ā« āŖ
I see them… how do you make them?
š pft
Another leaky head.
The easy way for you to do only what I did is this: Open my reply. Highlight /Select the notes only. āCopyā them with right click/Copy or Ctrl C. Now go to where you want to put them, click onto the spot and right click/Paste or Ctrl P. They should be there. To change them about or add to them āŖāŖāŖā«āŖ, select single items, copy them, and paste them back in any order you want. Until you reselect another symbol you can repeatedly click Ctrl V as you continue to hold down the Ctrl key until you have as many as you want of that one symbol. Thusly: Ctrl V,V,V,V etc. āŖāŖāŖāŖ, etc. To change the symbol, select another and repeat the process.
Below is HOW to do it so you can choose many other symbols and special characters. It may read as rather daunting, but it is quite simple. I suggest printing this out. I tell you how down below in the last paragraph. I will now key Ctrl A to select this entire doc, then key Ctrl C. I will open your blog in the Family Affair post comment box, cursor on it, key Ctrl V and this will all be their. What WP will not do is maintain some (most) formatting and styles. Italics will not show, Bold will not show, etc. I have tried it to avoid using all caps in place of italics. No go.
Open a new Word document. Put your cursor anywhere in the document and click the mouse once to hold that spot. That is where the symbol chosen will appear. On the tool bar at the top click āInsertā. In the Insert drop down menu click āSymbolā. If the Symbols tab isnāt selected in the window, click it. There may be a box top right in the Symbols window that says āSubset: If it doesnāt already say āGeometric Shapesā, click the down pointing arrow and click āGeometric Shapesā from the choices. On the scroll bar to the right, scroll down through the Shapes until you see the blocks with the notes in them. Click the note āāŖ ā you want and then click āInsertā in the box at the bottom right. Choose another symbol, āā« ā, click it and then click insert until you are done adding symbols to the document. Then close the Symbol window.
You now have those symbols in a Word Document. I saved mine as a file named āMusical Notes.docā (Duh). When I want to use them to annoy you, I āopen a new tabā in my browser, or you can minimize the blog window, and open Word, open My Documents folder if I saved it to there and open the āMusical Notesā file. Then I select (click and hold the mouse as you slid over what you want) the symbols, right click/select āCopyā or use Ctrl C, reopen the blog page with the comment box showing, click the cursor into comment box where you want the symbol to appear and either right click/select āPasteā or use Ctrl V. They will be there at the cursor position. I know this reads very complex, but itās not. An easy way to learn this is to copy this reply (First key Ctrl A or highlight/select all of it, then Ctrl C.). Open Word and with a new page. Paste this reply into the doc. Now either print it out for reference as you do this OR click a cursor into a blank spot in the doc and go to the Task bar at the top and click āInsertā and then āSymbolā. When that Symbol window comes up you can click and hold it at the top and slide it out of the way as you read these instructions and do them in real time. That is how you insert symbols and there are a lot of them to choose from and probably more in a newer version of Word than mine.
Know I would not go to this much trouble typing a tutorial for just anybody. For a Bud though…
I think I will just type *singing*… but thanks.
Sigh
I don’t do multiple steps… like dancing.
I see ’em on the reply on the blog. Try taking off the sunglasses for a moment.
I see fine, I don’t know how you do those.
Hold your water. It’s coming.
Uh… wow… I love that you think I can follow directions.
You’ve said this once before. You’re serious, aren’t you?
Dude, I don’t have my multiplication tables memorized. I am a computer moron. I formatted our hard drive installing a game. I am a barely functioning idiot savant.
Bet one of your daughters could figure it out from what I sent. That used to be my guru and she was not techie at all. She just knew stuff like kids do. If you could get someone to look at the stuff I sent, especially option 1, you could absolutely do it. All those keystrokes and right clicks will do no harm even if clicked at the wrong time or in the wrong place. Go ahead an print it out and walk through it one step at a time. How did I learn it. I googled it and followed the instructions. I am an incorrigible instruction reader though. My occupation requires following a precise series of steps for safety reasons, so I adapt well to incremental instruction.
The thing is, I would use it once and then forget all about it.
He has to forgive me doesn’t he?
The sermon topic just this past Sunday. Yes I do. And pray for you even. What kind of deal is that?
I was part of a sermon topic? That’s pretty damn cool.
Religion can be cool. They let me teach a bible class at my wife’s Christian church… sort of an outsiders perspective. And they are open an affirming…(They let gay people in)…
Well they sound lovely; I assume you promoted your book?
It wasn’t finished yet. But I have sold quite a few at the church.
No way. It’s a shame based environment and all his promotional efforts are shameless.
I taught them the meaning of shamelessness. That may have been a mistake. I mean, not for me… for organized religion.
But he’s on a mission from………the Mewang Quadrant.
That is pronounced ‘mywang’
In this country ‘my’ is often pronounced ‘me’, a shorter sound that can give rise to much hilarity…I’m aiming to redress the balance.
As to me, redressing is not the problem. it’s not the dress that bothers me. It’s the heels that throw me off balance. They do make my legs and butt look tighter though.
You do yourself an injustice; your legs and butt a fine as they are.
Here we go…
At least someone appreciates me.
Who?
The Seed. My legs and butt in heels anyway. HA
Full circle on that one.
People are saying “What?”
Jealous! And without doing all that kickboxing work to tone them up. I should get the No No out and touch things up.
?
We’re back to The Seed and my leg/butt/heels reply to his “redressing” comment. Do we need to pass out librettos for this sad little soap opera?
Or free drinks.
Long Island tea. Make it a double. I want one of those little umbrellas too.
Aww. Ya big lug.
I suppose they get their jobs done…
They would almost have to… (oh yeah)
She would have never let me post that for instance. She may be the wiser one, but I don’t expect to live all that much longer anyway. No reason. Just a haunting feeling I quietly carry. I have a file in my file cabinet for her convenience. I told her so she can find what she needs if I go first. Just enough drama and black humor in me to title the folder tab “Dead Dan File.” My maternal grandfather lived to 93 I think but my maternal grandmother died in her 50’s. We’ll see which gene pool wins.
Good luck with that.
Yeah. Could be wrong. Whatever. One day at a time.
I do two at a time, but I have long legs.
The Dickens you say?
Never read ‘im gov’nor.
Scallywag!
Thank you, George Orwell was one of them you know.
I did not know that.
Was it more fun than being a pirate? What did they wear? Any thing blousy and frilly?
I was neither a scallywag nor a pirate so can compare not the fun had or otherwise I’m afraid. If they were wearing anything blousy and frilly, then yes.
Excellent.
ditto
Dressed to kill.
Got three killer dresses. Just waiting to drop another 20lbs. Loose more than that and I may not still fill the bodice. You know, someone who hasn’t been following this post is saying “WTH.” Who are these people?
Even some of us who have been… ha!@
Whoa. Two badabings in one day.
On a roll.
Respect the scallywags!
Yeah. That’s it. Kiss up to the Scallywags and leave me here alone the only pirate. Good luck finding your wooden pegleg on the way out the door. I’ll be the one making smores over an open fire.
They are like pirates in WW2.
So I should be appeased?
We sacrificed a virgin…
Stingy.
We only had one…
Kind of a one time thing.
I suppose.
What can you do for an encore?
Three more songs?
Lord, take me now.
Take you where?
Just away.
Calgon.
Is he wagging his scally about again?
You know it.
Not bad, but I had greater expectations.
good one…
BIG time turmoil. I feel sorry for them, especially the older members. People get heavily invested in the basic doctrine of their denomination. For most members, it is why they go where they go. They anchor their faith in those basic tenets and when somebody pulls the rug out from under them, they can feel not only betrayed, but out of sync with the beliefs that are fundamental to their sanctification, though not necessarily their salvation. They bug out and the resulting decline in cash flow can take down what’s left of the church as a local body and then as a denomination. Gay marriage rights and ordination along with abortion are religion’s third rail.
The road to hell is a slippery slope…
Keep your crampons handy or at least your golf spikes.
I have so many crampon jokes in my head right now.
Restraint.
Straight jacket.
Gave up on them. Couldn’t find one that worked with French cuffs.
A bow tie helps.
They only come in that same old afternoon formal color. Nothing for evening wear.
Not where I live.
We could so take advantage of this. I was raised Episcopalian… which is a lot like the Church of England, I think. But I just ain’t built for believing stuff.
I used to work for many years with a documentary filmmaker filming the national convention of bishops. A lot of changes went down over the years.Made me glad I wasn’t Episcopalian of Presbyterian. Did the Presby thing for a while. Too much turmoil now in both.
I gave up organized religion… for Lent…
Very good. But seriously folks….
I’m here all week,
I am not sure if he does, or the big guy does…
To clarify but not to proselytize, technically I do have to forgive him if i expect God to offer me the same grace. It’s a package deal.
Sounds like a pyramid scheme…
May be a Ponzi scheme. It may be too late to get in on the ground floor..
Don’t you shoot for the penthouse???
Those days are gone. BPH.
You don’t aim for the gutter… you live there… I was going for the Heaven joke, not the porn mag.
And I was talking about projec……never mind.
No… I get it now…
why do I bother…
oh wow
That’s why I was sending you in the first place, and second for that matter. This blog runs on crap. It’s a renewing, self-generating resource. If you were a country, crap would be you biggest natural resource. I have a friend who live in Nashville. They are constantly working on the roads there and throughout the state. He says asphalt is Tennessee’s biggest natural resource.
We have earthquake faults.
Again, not your fault, but some poor little earthquake just shaking along minding its own business. All its fault.
The San Andreas is my fault!
Well, Arthur. Good. Good. That’s an excellent start on owning your actions that lead to negative outcomes. I think we’ve had a very productive session today and…..well, you’ve heard it all many times before.
true dat
gently
I’m for sure not touching it.
awwww
This is getting weird.
Yes. It did.
good
You say this now?
I say it every so often.
Who the heck is George anyway?
From the My Fair Lady elocution lessons. “The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain? By George, I think she’s got it!”? Ring a bell? No pirate shirts and not into musical show tunes. And I thougt this was going to be fun. God I love satire.
I got the reference. I just wondered where the saying came from originaly. I love musicals. Simmer down.
As is the case, Google will get you varied etymological sources. A euphemism for “By God” seems to be very popular.
We will stick with that then.
you rock!
you roll!
You hootchiecoo
Gag. I may be ill.
Go back and read my stories about our practical joke game where you won by making people puke and/or run away screaming. Guess who won?
I know it wasn’t me. I had to buy new shoes when it was over.
Victory!
At least the old ones weren’t flip flops, Can’t stand chunks on my toes.
What are you walking in?
Referring to the puking.
of course you are.
It better be.
Yeah… I hate white places… too cold… is that placism or just irony???
It depends whether or not you are purporting that the white places are inferior due to their coldness…possibly.
White is just such a boring color… for a place, I mean…
Isn’t there a nice parting gift involved?
Absolutely there is, just swing on by and pick it up when you’re ready.
Not much into lifting myself. Have Art pick it up and hold it for me. Do you mind holding something for me, Art? Just askin’.
Yes I do mind very much thank you, he lives miles away and I am not your skivvy!
Skivvy? You’re from the Mother ship of the other side of the pond, aren’t you.
That’s Arthur’s comment above…and I am merely a citizen of the world…who lives in England…
You’re up VERY early; even for my time zone.
I work nights…I do it mainly to confuse americans in blogland.
Well done. That would be about 73.8C to 77.6C for beef,
Yes…yes it would.
sigh
burnt offerings…
mission completed.
Give him a leather flight jacket and a photo op on the deck of a carrier in the Persian Gulf.
But not those crotch-hugging flight suit things.
Crotch hugging. Mmmmm. More fun than pirate knee britches. methinks. Let’s play political demagogue instead.
Once again, we can do both.
A pirate who’s a political demagogue, or a pirate who’s in service to a political demagogue, More choices. I know. Let’s play U.S. Congress. Then we can have the best of both world’s a be immune to prosecution and have the best health benefits as well a retirement and take an overflowing war chest with us when we bail out. Sweet!
Having too much fun but I really have to get a move on. The venue awaits. Later friend.
Dan
Every pirate is in service to a demagogue… the Captain… or me, as I like to call him.
Aye.
That’s ‘aye aye, Sir!’
Buggin’ out.
Roger… wilco… over and out…
He never sleeps.
Probably like you. Wears sunglasses all the time so you don’t know he’s sleeping. Wakes up when he hears keystrokes.
I have eyes tattooed on my eyelids.
Did you remember to have the lids open?
Not the first time.
We live in America… we were kicked out of all the good countries.
We should have kicked that bunch in Louisiana up into Canada with the rest of them. Even the French didn’t want to go back to France.
Ha.
The country’s brilliant, it’s just…
exactly…
We have a winner.
Perhaps a spy for the advance element of an invading force to repatriate the colonists. You go stand watch in the church tower. I’ll muster the men.
The Canadians are coming!
Fortunately their supreme strategist is on furlough for 3 weeks.
And the beavers are all at a logging competition is Saskatchewan… holy moly… I seem to have a spell checker in my comment box all of a sudden… I can use big words now!
Big words? For that YOU’LL need a thesaris, thusares, thesouris, thiseris….where the hell is that spell checker. YOU took my spell checker. Give it back.
Finders keepers…
oh… and… antidisestablishmentarianism… awww crap… I spelled it right or the checker is gone again…
Shades of the 60’s.
Hey, my shades are newer than that.
Body slam!!!
Skivvy. How British. I work with a lot of them on the concert circuit.
Skivvy is still Navy speak for boxer shorts.
Totally something else for the Revolutionary losers.
It was just time to let us go…
Is this a trick question?
Mercy and my stars. Whatever do you mean. We’re all genteel folk here.
I have the vapors.
Try Beano next time.
It should be De-beano…
come up and see me some time
Role playing? And you’re the Mae West character? KINKY. Well, at least you can cover that mess with a nicer wig than the current one. Jump in here anytime all you Canadian stylists.
I should have finished… come up on Tuesday, that’s amature night.
My trick for remembering how to spell amateur…A mate u r. Don’t get all huffy on me now. And for separate, there is a rat in separate. Just thru that n.
sigh
The parting is gift enough… ha
Whimpering away wounded
Don’t be like that, baby…
Follow the blood trail and finish me off.
I wouldn’t let you suffer.
No one is Canadian per chance.
OR choice
that was implied.
oh… crap…
I was working on a video crew onest uponst a timest and they were getting credentials printed in advance. The producer wouldn’t remember my name and told them it was Mike Rophone. They printed the ID and I wore it throughout the show.
And how many people came up to you and said, ‘You sound like someone familiar’?
Had you but been there. O.V.E.R. their heads. I was Mike to one and all.
Extremely private jokes are still jokes.
We between the coasts are a simple people; not much given to jocularity and frivolity.
Are we not all between coasts…dude?
indeed. I try to constatnly coast trhough life whenever and wherever possible.
Rollercoaster… oooh ooh ooooooh
Oh… he beat me to that one.
Beat out twicet in less than 24 hours. Now waiting for thricet.
I have been beat up twice in less than 24 hours, so stop mopping.
Checking something
That sounds ominous.
Microsoft hijacked me during the posting stage. Wanted to make sure the comment didn’t post before rewriting and posting again.
Hijacked you and flew you to Lebanon???
Obviously he is not “on the coast.” (Sniff) Anyone who lives within site of either ocean or the two gulfs contiguous to the U.S. (no matter how telescopically enhanced that vision may be) considers themselves “on” the coast. No matter that the location of the water places them geographically between some other body of water, they are “on” the coast but not spatially between the other coast.. It is the rest of us who are condemned to that fate in the infamous “fly over zone.” Apparently everyone who flies into LA flies into Riverside leaving them out of being flown over. Membership has it’s privileges. (Sniff, yet again.)
Uh… I do like having an ocean near by.
I am between coasts right now. But I am looking.
And extremely private privates are still privates… eerrr… uh… ummm…
The two of you leave my privates out of this.
Trapper John: Watch out for your goodies, Hawkeye. That man is a sex maniac; I don’t think Hot Lips satisfied him. Don’t let him kiss you, Hawkeye.
MASH (1970)
I just watched that one a week ago.
Give it to Mickey… he’ll record anything.
Or; “Is this thing on?” Or; “Sibbilance.”
My thing is constantly on.
Hot mike… ha!
Maybe you just talk really loud.
And I hear very soft. You were saying something?
Me? What are the odds of that?
You have a brothe that likes to swim… his name is Hyde Rophone.
And the other one likes to talk a lot. His name is Telly Phone. If I did send the spell check you obviously aren’t using it or you don’t use IE. Don’t know if it works with Firefox. Bet it does. You might think I forget to use it at times too, but I allow a few misspellings out of deference to the blog author.
I am a computer moron. I couldn’t figure out how to do it. I had to go places and do things.
For the computer semi-literate reading along, I am talking about a spell check program for IE. While in the comment box, just right click and from the menu select “Check Spelling.” In some boxes, it will cycle through the check twice and make the changes on the second pass. Don’t know why, just live with it. It does not recognize the word “blog.” When the “unknown” word is highlighted in the suggested spelling box, you may over-type it and it will used what you type. I have not looked into whether you can amend one of its two dictionaries or not. Not a grammar checker though. You can have a properly spelled word that is not the one you mean, as in “bee” and “be”, or “its” and “it’s.” Both will pass spell, Big difference contextually though. It will work in other instances where you can call it up with a right click. Haven’t tried it with Firefox.
The url is: http://www.iespell.com/
You will find instructions for its use there. I am far from a geek. You can do it.
beukfodl[pspd…
I have to install something…
In the words of inimitable Yogi Berra, “Gentlemen, include me out.”
And; “A lovely pic nic basket, Boo Boo.”
That would be pic “a” nic basket, Arthur.
I did a boo boo… ha!
Art, is he strange, or is it just me?
I certainly wouldn’t presume to state that the two are mutually exclusive…or was your question directed at Art, and about me?
I would not want to have to be the judge at this beauty contest.
If we wore bikinis?
My God, man. In the name of all that is decent…..I know obscenity when I see it.
And I know censorship when I see it.
Now your lobbying for an appointment to the Supreme Court?
That sounds like a lot of effort for not a lot of gain…can I wear a bikini?
As long as you wear the robe too. You’re a shoe in.
A shoe in a bikini and a robe???
Stilettos, Baby. The higher the better.
You’re such a heel.
I did forget to mention when wearing the bikini under the robe you still have to maintain a Brazilian wax and at anytime at least on hand must be visible outside the sleeves. Wearing the Ginsberg lace doily collar is optional though.
This is exactly what I’m going to the Supreme Court in order to avoid…you’ll be hearing from my butcher, good day to you, sir.
Oh, you do not want to meat his butcher… meat… get it?
Sigh. “Look to me! Who is this under my knife!”
No more quotes. Make up your own stuff. No more quotes for you…
signed, The Quote Nazi.
Smacks of censorship.
There will be no smacking.
This is going to a dark place…
National ‘wear a bikini day’
Think I’ll put the bottoms on now and go mow the lawn. I don’t like the tan lines so I go topless.
Watch out with the weed whacker.
Too easy. Not going there.
Just as well.
Here come da judge.
Da devil made me do it!
We will board the censorship and throw all the tea into the harbor!
Sweet with lemon and ice, please. Screw those loyalist.
They are so disloyal. Oh, the irony!
I can’t explain what pornography is, but I like it when I see it.
Explains the shades for eye strain. Or did you go blind from too much……well, we’ll just let that be your little secret, won’t we?
I can’t see clearly now, the rain is gone.
Maybe then.
Lipstick on a pig either way.
I went ‘wee’ all the way home.
Not in the pool, please.
It ends up in a pool one way or the other.
See. Now you’ve confused me.
You merely think you’re confused; if you look deep enough, you will find that you truly know it.
Know what? I’m confused.
January.
Well, I already knew that.
No he didn’t.
Did so.
Think not.
Uh huh.
babam!
Now that we all know that we confuse each other, what do we do about it?
About what?
Your such a good straight man. Always providing the set-up. Thanks.
He is the straightest straight man I know.
He got you there.
Where?
Right where he wants you… and he does… want you… obviously…
Should I be shopping for something new a bit flirty and daring?
Like what… hair extensions?
Step back… he’s gonna blow.
I collect strange people. He is top shelf strange.
So it’s safe to talk to him: not Stranger Danger?
I will proudly put you on the top shelf next to him… a singular honor for a relative newcomer.
WOW! I don’t know what to say, First time out and now this award? I am deeply flattered and so undeserving. This is a total surprise. There were so many others who share in this moment with me. So many who have mentored me and helped me along the way. I, I….what can I say?
First…..I’d like to thank the Academy and all the members who voted for me. I want to thank my parents and NO. NO. Stop the music. Stop the music.
Don’t let it go to your head… especialy not the bottom half… which no doubt is deformed in some way, or you wouldn’t hide it.
A serious aside for a moment with no judgement intended. Just something to think about. I have no personal problem with that comment, but somebody may have a reason. You just don’t know. Could make for a nasty “Ouch” moment.
I was kidding. No doubt the bottom half of your face is at least as attractive as the top half…
I realized that. No foul. You’ll read my ouch moment in a bit.
ok
Just don’t want you to have your own Paula Deen moment. I gave my sunglass/blind remarks before a moment’s pause but decided it was probably safe since you seem to be reading blog pages. Just looking out for you.
My Paula Deen moments involve cooking with too much butter.
Yeah. You were all in dresses.
And your point is…?
Another Thanksgiving tradition? Turkeys in dressings.and g-strings with chestnuts?.
And feety jammies at Christmas. My family is a freak show.
As the gene pool shallows out with each successive generation. It’s barely a kiddie pool as it is.
You’re soaking in it.
uh no an Arthur dream?! he was probably stealing my turkey breast in it!
There is no need…he merely lowers his shades and they come flocking.
ahaha how true!
animals love me… shut up…
you know me
I do.
I get flocked a lot.
I am not touching this one… too many ways to go.
Civility restored…….for now.
I am always the calm rock in the center of the storm.
i know! lol
sigh
He’s gonna love infiltrating our sleep
I am firmly lodged inside your skulls!
I’m sure there’s some kind of surgical procedure for this
You wish!!!
Then I must be able to claim compensation? It must count as trespass of my brain
That’s fine… what do you want exactly… because my legal department assures me that there is a clause in my paperwork that protects me from damages incurred by my showing up inside people’s heads.
I should never have signed that waiver
Well you did… so…
Until we have the ‘I chopped Arthur up into little pieces, stuffed him in a suitcase and dumped him in the North Sea’ dream…
š
I don’t care about the content… as long as you all keep dreaming about me.
I had that dream once…
You might want to have your head examined.
Ahem! Pot kettle black spring to mind š
Well that’s just a cheap shot, Joan!
Yes, yes it was
Ha!
I am so happy to call you part of my family!!!
Can I have my allowance now???
It’s in the mail
Yay.
Did you get my return poem email?
Yes…i will work on it…been a bit too down to work on the duet stuff but I will soon…promise.
No rush. Just making sure I didn’t forget. Feel good.
Not ’til you finish your chores.
I drove all day… too tired…
Then your’re to tired to take your allowance and go to the movies too. Go to your room. NOW!
aw man…
Don’t bother digging under the mattress for those magazines either.
sticky wicket
Can’t get your favorite pages apart?
Family show violation alert… beep beep…
Can I be the aunt that hides in the kitchen “cooking” and secretly drinks all the wine? š
Hey, somebody has to.
There’s and aunt Sherry in every family. She was disowned when she took up with that foreigner, Jose Cuervo. He was the lead singer on Cold As Ice.
She added rum to the punch at every party.
Yes and a punch too when anyone got out of line š¦
Security!
That was a Great post.. I call dibs on the one (you’ll never know what they’ll say).. the other comments had me laughing as well…
No selling Avon at dinner…
LOL!!! DAMN!! o.k.
I got my eye on you.
I’ve always wanted to be a part of one of those super rich families that has all kinds of skeletons in their closets, like in a VC Andrews novel.
But without the incest…
I almost did a joke about the cute cousin twice removed that made me wish I lived in Arkansas… but I didn’t…
Didn’t what? Make the remark or live with the cute cousin in Arkansas?
Either one.
Is she still cute and available? Just askin’.
She is one or the other but never both.
Same shallow gene pool. What ever was I thinking?
No diving.
Why is the water yellow? And warm?
I bladder is a terrible thing to waste.
Poor people just have to settle for cheap skeletons.
It’s a pleasure.
And whatever you’re trying to borrow from me, the answer is no.
LOL totally made me laugh.
sigh
You always see right through me…
Yes its those translucent ‘G’ strings that do it,
you should stop wearing those when the family
are visiting…
But it’s a Thanksgiving tradition.
Don’t you ever worry about crushing you giblets?.
Worry about it… I live for it.
“Does the crushing involve stiletto heels,” he asked as the dialog spiraled ever downward.
It better.
Oh goodie. I hardly find occasion to wear them anymore. And it was sooo difficult finding Manolo’s in a 12 EEEE with ankle straps and open toes. The charcoal thigh highs with Cuban toes and heels with back-seams and little bows were easy compared to the shoes. Even in a tall. The garter belt to match the bra and thong was a bit of a challenge. Hard finding one with matching lace.
I may never get that out of my head.
Divine, isn’t it?
If by divine you mean that female impersonator, then yes.
“…when the family ‘are’ visiting.” Shades of an English major, Arthur. Don’t let him elevate the dialogue like that!.
No dialogue elevating!
Awww…
Ditto to Art. Nice to see you back, H. I was afraid I hurt you feelings a while back. Didn’t feel good.
We’re all good, Forehead š Just employing my right to remain silent at times…ha!
Since it’s only a right and not a habit with you š , I was concerned.
True. There were so many lines passing back and forth that when I didn’t have a smart ass retort right away, I just didn’t go back to them. Part of it was just letting go of the need to. I may do this now from time to time as part of my process. Hope that’s okay š
There’s more behind this comment, isn’t there? Were flasing between PMAO and P4P. How to keep it all straight?. You are ask me the same question in some way I am asking you here.
I’m referring only to the silly banter.
I thougt you may be wondering “what is the point of all this bante?” Should you be somewhere else doing something else?
Banter rules!
Absolutely I did. It was way too much fun to be good for me…!! I touched on that in my second last post about “growing up”, for sure.
Boo… grown ups…
I know right? sucks.
Grown ups are just kids that went horibly wrong.
That’s so sad, Art. She can’t go to Neverland with us now. She probably doesn’t believe in fairies either. She would let Tinkerbell die.
I have a friend who believes in fairies. I cope with the pain of biting my tongue til it bleeds.
Really and truly does, huh? That would be a topic to avoid for sure. All rational unti then.
Everybody knows that the unicorns ate the last fairy centuries ago… sheesh.
That’s why you don’t see any unicorns. They didn’t practice living a green lifestyle and plan for renewing resources. They depleted their food source and now there all gone….except for mine anyway.
They are not good planners.
I live in California… I have met them.
Very unstable folk.
Well… the ground keeps moving… how stable can we be.
When you are a fairy, it doesn’t matter what the ground is doing.
Tell me about it… uh… I mean…
I thought with a fairy I would at least feel the earth move.
Babam!
A tip of the Hatlo hat.
If you wore a hat we wopuldn’t be able to see you at all.
I am not a fairy.
If you say so.
Are you?
I do… or I am… what were we talking about?
…nothing…
figures.
That’s your story and you’re stickin’ to it, huh?
It happens to be true and clever.
Pot. Kettle. Black. Just saying.
bubble bubble toil and trouble
Art, do yoooooou believe in fairies?
The old divide conquer strategy, Art.
I stuck by my guns.
I barely believe in people…
lol…whatever.
whatever indeed.
And she has to wear granny panties… it is a sad day all the way around.
That’s the infamous big girl panty post that has the WWW buzzing.
Is that big girl like all grown up… or like… never mind… this has no way to go but down.
The preferred direction of all panty travel.
I saw that opening just as I clicked ‘reply’
Tuna melt meld strikes again.
Tuna mind melt
Coulda. Woulda. Shoulda. And the pink ribbon for runner up goes to you.
I will wear it in my hair… which I still have all of…
A likely story.
Time vortex!
I call that passive agressive. Or the silent treatment.
Or stubborn…?
So many words work for this.
Brilliant?
I suppose.
Why thank you.
You have your moments.
Well, Mr. Benedict Arnold.
Thats Mr. Be… oh, you said that… never mind.
Never minding seems to be a very necessary part of the process here.
I count on that.
It must be rather annoying having to constantly remove your shoes when you count past ten.
See… you tease me… but I don’t have my multiplication tables memorized… so…
Another serious aside. I worked in a sporting goods store years ago. A guy asked me three times where a particular item was. I explained where to find it all times. After the third time he came back and told me, “Buddy, I can’t read.” OUCH.
I hate those moments.
Now who’s sucking up?
He just called me brilliant. I had no choice but to offer my polite thanks.
Talking about him sucking up to you. He does the same to me if I am the slightest bit nice to you.
That is what makes this whole three-way such a wonderful thing. We are all the good guys and the bad guys. Shifting alliances… back-stabbing… truces… diplomacy… it has it all.
Perhaps we should run for office.
I tried that. The canadians rose up and overthrew me.
He has no manners. Put him at the kids table.
Perhaps there will be intelligent conversation THERE..
yeah… that’s why I sit there.
As long as your’re there, listen and learn.
I can’t do both at the same time.
If he sits at the kids table, he needs to eat kraft dinner.
mmmm… macaroni and cheese?
And all the forks are at the adult table so you have to use your hands.
Then run in the living room and touch all the upholstered furniture.
It’s grandma’s house. She’s too blind to notice. The dog will get the rest I suppose.
ALWAYS an answer for everything.
If I didn’t, you would worry…
We worry anyway.
Well then you should know I will be away for the next three weeks.
No… say it ain’t so…
I’ll have patchy wireless. That means there may be moments of silence. So nothing new I guess. Are you going to rob my house while I’m away? I can tell you where the least expensive stuff is…
I am too lazy to rob houses.
Oh that’s a relief š
Well… I mean… you got anything interesting?
Nope.
You are safe then. From me at least.
Like maybe……….a personality? I know, i’m sorry. Just when I thought I was out, the cheap shots keep pulling me back in.
That is one thing she does got.
To be on the safe side, put everyting up on your second floor. For sure he won’t bother climbing the stairs.
Thanks for the tip š
Another tip:If he offers you chocolate to get into his windowless van, don’t do it. It’s left-over chocolate Easter bunnies he’s already bit the ears off of and the mattress is lumpy and smelly.
Spoken like somebody who has seen the inside of a few vans.
Why, thank you…
I had a windowless van when I was single, and I never had to offer anybody chocolate to get inside it.
Only as a consolation gift upon exitng?
I gave them my phone number. Thanks for playing!
Touche’
Touchy!
OOOPS. You’re supposed to be GONE for three weeks. Who are we supposed to talk about if you’re still eavesdropping?
Oooohhh… and after all that nasty stuff you said about her….
Thanks a lot pal. Another inch on that blade in my back and you could have punctured by lung.
I was just pushing that splinter in your chest out.
Free once again to roam the night.
Sure you are.
Ouch.
I try to help.
I do love a solid power trip…
I like a solid power nap…
To each his own.
That isn’t like you at all…
Must be the meds.
Good answer.
I meant all for one and one for all. Is that better?
Yes.
Except for the French allusion.
Did that star Gene Hackman?
Naw. It was when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. Wow. Great Dickens.
It’s gone???
French Indian givers. Now hate mail from all the casion owning tribes of North America.
Especially the French ones.
wait… casion owning? I had a Casio once.
I still have a functioning Atari with the membrane keyboard.
Well of course you do.
Oh.
Here we go…
Not really.
That was unexpected.
I’m warn’n ya. Here it comes from high and outside. Get ready for bootlace marks on your jaw.
I been beat up by professionals.
At least a professional will show appropriate mercy. Not this one. It’s not the win, it’s the kill.
Not the kind I used to meet.
Oh. Never mind.
I did mind.
Don’t drop your guard, Art. There’s a roundhouse kick coming your way. This reminds of of when they give the fight rules in Butch Cassidy and Butch gives Harvey the sneak swift up-kick. She’s sneaky, that one.
I got my cup…
Had to get a now one. My old one runneth over. Okay, the front slowed a little.
That was funny.
Who’s Butch and Cassidy?
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid… famous Western outlaws… Robert Redford and… the other guys… played them in a movie,.
That other guy, Paul Newman.
Right.
Before I was born apparently…
Right, but they were real people, so it also means you suck at history.
I can’t be good at everything…
True enough.
Maybe
Art did it. I wasn’t even in the room. I was napping.
That’s what the kids are calling it these days.
Try it. It does help me sleep better. Keeps me awake if I don’t. Limo lower now.
Limo lower… that could be taken a lot of ways.
Oh…that was you? I thought the dog was snoring again.
I thought the dog was coughing up a hairball.
Gee, what a couple of swells.
Why, thank you…
It’s the tight sweater…
Your daily badadbing. You can relax now.
I never sleep… oh wait… that’s rust…
24/7 365 We never close.
We never do. We never open either.
Don’t be surprised to find a nice moist, sticky hairball on the staircase in the dark on your way to bed. Burned beaver hair
If I had a dime for… never mind… high road…
Can’t say I didn’t offer.
Yes I can.
Naw. The dog passes gas when it sleeps.
They all do that.
While laughing on the inside pretending to sleep. You notice they only do it when in the same room as people. They wait until you have special guests too.
It is their gift.
Stranger danger. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to one of my favorite peeps, especially the pink sugar coated ones.
Sucking up while torpedoing me… well played.
You only think I haven’t been paying attention and taking notes while here.
We fired at a broadside at each other and they crossed in the middle.
I think the story about leaving town for three weeks was a rus(s)e, Charlotte.
She is a sneaky whale…
š
Don’t feed the monkeys.
I climb stairs. I have strong legs.
A lengthy sabbatical with your sis?
Black Sabbatical… good band.
You won’t be here for my birthday on July 15th then? š¦ And it’s a big one. Sniff Sniff….Snub Snub….Chin quivering……… Bwhaaaaaa!
Hee hee… he said it’s a big one…
Indeed it is. She knows which one, but I’m not telling.I won’t be commenting much tonight. After clicking reply on the mail, the CPU hist 100% usage and it takes about 30-45 seconds for the link to be made and the box to accept input. When I hit post. It probably takes 1-2 minutes to get back the the inbox. It took 5 minutes to type this reply Don’t know what’s up but it’s cramping my style.
You like your comments slow and deep.
Things are better today, but still slow. Interestingly, it seems to be specific to your blog. It may have to do with the fact I am on it sooo much. When I type today, the charcters show up four or five keystrokes after typing. Not to worry. Could simply be an NSA keystroke logger thing.
I used to play a MMO Conan game where my character moved way after I told him to. I got killed a lot. Try commenting on some new posts… you are overloading my family affair post. Try the one where I made the telephone lines dissapear. Even better, comment on my unicorn vomit post or the disturbing image feety jammy posts in my top posts and pages list on the sidebar. I want those to stay on the list.
Whoops… now the feety jammy one is gone again… woe is me.
You didn’t invite me!
My blog… bringing people together since… whenever I started it…
Man, you take credit for like everything. Have I thanked you yet today for the glorious sunshine?
No… but I only have it shining in some places on earth right now, so…
Sounds complicated.
No… I just keep stuff swirling around, spin the globe a little, it all works out.
See H. I told you.
He did tell you.
Listening not a long suit there.
Did you say something?
HER, H, not listening.
Maybe.
STOP! Think about this for a minute. You’re talking about Art here. Would he be doing this if it were complicated. He probably pushe his wah into the control room and locked everyone else out. He not Christof in the Truman Show.
Christof (Art): [on a speaker] I am the Creator – of a television show (blog) that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions.
The Truman Show (1998)
I can’t picture that. Even if he wears a goofy beret with the sunglasses.
I push my wah into what????
“pushed his way” Wasn’t that a shame. Just took all the energy out of that one. Too many typos in critical spots. Give me back the spell check!
I think I stole it.
Good point.
sigh
Just because of that comment, he made it rain here today spoiling everyone’s 4th. But you’re a Ca Na Di An. What do you know and care of the 4th. All you got out of it was a bunch more French invaders who didn’t want to go home.
Take that.
You are right! My 4th wasn’t spoiled. At ALL.
Clouds have to go somewhere.
You mean you control the clouds too? Then it was sabotage?!
I just told the Canadians that I was stepping down as leader of the universe to keep them quiet.
And how’s that work’n for ya.
Just fine.
How will you know if it worked?
How will you know if it doesn’t?
They won’t be quiet.
ah
Snotty alarm sounding.
I need an alarm clock that makes snotty sounds.
An alarm like: “YOU lose!. I win! YOU lose!. I win!” OR “New rules! MY rules! New rules. MY rules!”
That kind of snotty? They sell them all over Canada. Perhaps you know someone who can send you one.
No… an alarm like a nose blowing.
Now you have. Don’t encourage him.
Just for that, you get clouds.
Very effective. It poured about an inch too.
That’ll show ya!
Consider it done. You’re first on the list. Only you and Art know about it since I only posted it here that one time and no one ever comes here we all know.
Art was kind enough to point out my volunteering a critical piece of hackable info about myself. Not at all like me, huh?
Now tell us your IQ and waist size.
Unlike yours, the two numbers don’t match. Doesn’t that rejoinder work great. Low or high number: either way is devastating.
That was a good one.
What happens to me if I forget?
Nothing good, that’s for sure.
That’s not even a threat.
I’m right here.
That’s not even close.
HA!
Is she trying to start somethng…..Again?
Of course.
Don’t we even get a holiday off?
no
Maybe it’s never over.
It ain’t over till she says it’s over…
Maybe it’s only temporarily over and then temporarily resumed…
(And you would rather control the sunshine?)
I even control where the sun don’t shine…
Ain’t gonna.
Oh let it out. You will pop a gasket.
Is there nothing DEFINITE with her?
Definitely not! Maybe.
So you’re saying a definite “Maybe?”
No…
Oh. So maybe not?
Definitely.
sigh
Not holding my breath.
Being her man must be hard work.
Excruciatingly painful.
Never ending… okay when things are going well… but how often can that be???
Things go well?
Right… with her… if you were her boyfriend…
No maybe, Baby.
And the war continues.
A verb with the correct tense.
sure… why not…
I wasn’t the one who asked “What if I forget?” AS IF.
That should count for something.
It could be.
I thought she said gone and spotty wifi? She’s bagging us.
Bagger Vance.
Paper or plastic?
Yes.
We’ll be offering latex in the near future.
I bet you will,,,
Really? I mean really? All consuming guilt.and mental angst. I keep those dates in my Palm so I don’t forget. My mother’s is the same month as another one there. Just waiting ’til next year now.
Good job.
What if she forgets? I’ll just lie here while she hammers in that stake.
Medium rare.
You must have a lot of dates written on your palm.
But they keep getting smudged…
Who told him it was safe to shower with all that data on his palms? Like, seriously.
Yeah… that’s what I meant…
Sure. I saw you eyeing that limbo bar.
I eye all the bars.
Food bars and candy bars for me.
Just as bad for you… not as much fun… and I hardly ever drink, despite all the bar jokes.
Same here. I have given away $30 bottles of Grey Goose, Crown Royal and others given to me. I drink a lot of whatever; milk, soda, water when I do. So it is just as well I don;t drink otherwise. I could quickly throw down 2 ore 3 fruity frozen mixed drinks just for the taste. I probably have 3 mixed drinks in one year and 8 glasses of wine, if that many.
I do like a margarita now and then.
Nope. Not going there. Still stepn’ over that limbo bar.
How low can you go?
Okay. I give. Sliding in under the bar with:
A safer choice would be a sponge bath. Busy?
And a new low front is moving in from the East.
Just a quick moving front.
Your front is moving…. and that is freaking me out…
If it doesn’t move quickly, it falls…..never mind.
ha
Very š
wwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ha.
I don’t even know what I meant.
And how did that make you feel?
Good. I think they were waves… like, don’t make waves… but who knows.
Brain waves perhaps?
I don’t have those. Flat as a millpond in there.
Even a millpond has little fishies though. And I do keep a net closeby because they amuse me so.
Oh, I got little fishies…
Stepping OVER the limbo bar on that one.
See how good that works?
Think so? I thought not. Palm TX reminders are for people very special to me. It’s a very short list. The older I get, the shorter the list becomes. I am now more selective about whom I put in it, and then there are the inevitable departures for homecomings. The departures are steadily outpacing the additions. It makes those remaining in my Palm all the more precious to me.
Departure for homecoming… I like that…
A romantic sentiment for a painful reality.
I may steal that.
It’s what we do. We refine thoughts. All present creation is merely recreation. New only exists in the future and we are never there. Borrow as needed and remember me kindly.
All creation is recreation… and procreation…
Procreation. Can’t seem to get it quite right. Just have to keep practicing, I guess. Yawn.
The accent is on the ‘pro’…
Oh. You meant pro-creation. Well that changes everything.
Does it? Not for me…
Yeah. We don’t practice creation. We just sit here and do it, one comment after the other.
That is how nature works.
Well that’s interesting.
TMI
As we pause for a word from our sponsors.
I want sponsors.
Really.
Or not?
š
Will you take charge of the decorating committee? You are so very artistic and I’m sure you will do just swell. And games. We must have fun little games that involve overt social humiliation and embarrassing physical activities like all adult party games. Art may be better at choosing the games, don’t you think? What else?
Did you see the post I did about the party game we played at Easter? That has humiliation written all over it.
I’ll have to give it a look, don’t remember. If it involved naked Twister i can see how.
It involved… never mind… look it up. It is worth it. There is a very undignified picture of me… and a cute pony.
Are thepictures from that bar in TJ with the donkey and….never mind.
There are pictures of a cute pony near my wife’s aunt and uncle’s house. You are a sick puppy.
I knew you were the perfect man for the job. But then, “men are perfect at most anything” he said tossing the gauntlet out there.
Well tossed.
If you put Art in charge of the games…make sure Willie will be there. Just to be safe.
yeah
But then I’ll never win any of them. Wille has that sweet, innocent look but I’ll bet he sits on his money during Monopoly. Just when he lands on Boardwalk with a hotel and $200 showing and you think you’re gonna wipe him out he reaches under that Huggie and flashes the cash. With Uncle Art teaching him you expected less?
I keep my cards there too.
Under your Huggie? A fresh one I hope.
Depends…. HA!!! That is funny on at least two levels.
Kudos! on both levels: front and back.
Above and below… the belt…
You’re soaking in it.
He worries. I agonize.
sigh
A bad answer.
That is sucking all the fun out of it.
Not for me.
HA!!!
Yeah… that’ll show ’em.
I do that anyway.
Ok. Good.
Only if it’s the Deluxe Mac and Cheese with the shell macoroni and golden “cheese” in the can.
None of that powdered crap in the foil pack.
Illitist…!
Ew. Just ew. I can’t say how it’s made.
Oh go on…
If I knew how it was made, I would have to show you. If I showed you, I’d be making your dinner. And I promised Aunt Elma that she could do it, so go ask her.
You always weasel your way out, don’t you?
It’s a gift.
True.
H, don’t make the mac and cheese soupy or over cook the macaroni. I like it gooey. What’s for dessert?
Angel food and devils food cake.
You make a regular cake in an angel food pan. When you ice the cake, you make extra icing and dump it into the hole in the center. Extra icing with each slice. YUM!
That works
Just because I know what’s on the menu doesn’t mean I’m the one who’s making it…I’ll just throw the kids a box and see what happens, I guess.
Dessert? The adults are having “adult dessert.” The kids will be going to bed.
NO FAIR!!!!
Whining. How appropriate. Straight to the corner for time out.
I think that calls for a spanking.
Three lashings with a wet noodle!
But not the kind with the fake cheese powder.
I can’t make promises about this…
Well who can?
Weaseling at it’s best. She certainly does it well and with no shame or remorse..
Weasels gotta weasel.
I said pink, not yellow.
I don’t always listen.
Something in leather if you please. I’m on a low carb diet.
Can you guys start a conversation on a newer post. You are skewing my stats again.
Goodie! Pink is my favorite color.
And his favorite musical act.
I am going out to dinner.
That sounds promising. Too bad I will miss it.
Too bad…
sigh
In blogging, as in romance, a certain amount of sucking is not only acceptable, it is expected.
I gave it up. Keeping my thumb in my mouth was slowing my typing.
That was a safe and funny answer. Good job.
Didn’t last long though, did it?
Baby steps, baby.
Not unlike romance, sometimes expecting is as good as it’s gonna get.
word…
There she goes. Pushing that envelope.
Getting people hooked on envelopes. The first one is free.
Just drag the flap across your gum.
Lick it… lick it good…
If the shoe fits…
They seldom do. That is why women buy so many.
Oh yeah.
Feel free to employ the heck out of that right! Babam…
š
See what a little brief R&R can do for one’s spirits?
Lifts and seperates.
Reading this “bra” comment is spooky since I did the estrogen comment before reading it. Perhaps a lobotomy would fix that. I’m under the control of a Vulcan mind meld..
I am under control of a tuna melt.
Something sounds fishy here.
Bill: What if you mix the mayonnaise in the can, WITH the tunafish? Or… hold it! Chuck! I got it! Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED ’em mayonnaise! Oh this is great.
[speaks into tape recorder]
Bill: Call Starkist!
Night Shift (1982)
Then you just end up with fat tuna.
Shouldn’t be a problem. Every good cook knows the flavor’s in the fats.
True… I know mine is…
Was that remorse? Also known as blood in the water.
Aargh. I thought I could slip that one by in all the hurley burley of this blog. I have my weaknesses.
Let’s just call it compassion. There. Doesn’t that sound nicer?
Nice doesn’t feed the sharks.
But it might bait the whales?
And you are a master baiter, after all.
Now you gone and done it. I didn’t go for the cavity search low laugh about the TSA and then you pull a stunt like this. I would ask have you no shame but it would be rhetorical. See. I used a big grown-up word in an attempt to bring the dialogue up from the gutter..
You also said not to elevate the level. I am getting mixed messages. And I never said I would be the mature one in any relationship ever.
Well, you’re certainly keeping the relationship part of it.
I am all about the realtionships.
Am I blushing?
Naw. It takes a lot to make you blush…
I am actually quite shy.
I can tell that you believe that.
Why wouldn’t I?
Really? Seriously. Really?
In real life.
Me too. Sit in a corner and wait for the party ot find me. Ridiculously tragic, isn’t it?
I am not good at meeting people. Once I know you, I can’t shut up.
Uh, yeah. I kinda noticed that about you.
You, sirrah, lack sensitivity.
A permanent reaction resulting from excessive use of particular numbing agents to prolong……..never mind.
Why would you want to numb… never mind…?
Thanksgiving dinner: I’d like one of the drumsticks and perhaps a wing…but only if Uncle hasn’t already called dibs. Oh…and I’d also like to sit at the “adult” table this year….xxooxJots
I never sit at the adult table. That is just crazy talk.
Yes we’ve noticed you sitting under the adults table a lot recently, of course we are not entirely sure what you are looking at under there but our newly acquired Aunt Lucy says Nicholas knows why, or is that the other way around? Hmmm š lol
Anyway that Aunt Lucy should get some draws on, it is
positively disgusting at some parties as you well know š lmao
Andro
This is getting out of hand.
Then you aren’t doing it properly.
what… it slipped…
I tell people about the blogging peeps more often than the people I see in the flesh. I told my sister and husband yesterday about my liberal friend Arthur who took a slightly different position than I did on the Snowden matter as an illustration of the complexity of the situation. YAY for us all!
I can settle for being complex.
Bloggy peeps are the best peeps.
That needs to be a song.
I call dibs on the problem child label!
I am way ahead of you…
I know what you mean. My family includes a lot of people I am not even actually related to, but I love them and they are as vital and important to me as the ones who share my DNA. The older you get, the more you understand- there is very little as important as the people you love and who love you in return.
That was nicely said… thanks.