Now that I am running things, I have just a few more rules to lay down. Do not feel like I am picking on you humans and your lovely little planet. These rules apply on every planet in every universe in every dimension.
1. Stop looking for diet pills. These are dangerous. There is no easy shortcut that is safe. Just eat a little less and move a little more. Or be happy with the way you are.
2. Do not take pills that have side affects that are worse than what they cure. Swapping a headache or back pain for anal leakage is never going to be a good trade.
3. Stop dressing your dogs up in cute little outfits and costumes. I guess if you live where it is really cold, you can put a sweater on the dog, but you should have just gotten a dog that doesn’t mind the cold. Like a Husky.
4. Condo people! Say hi to each other. Introduce yourself to a neighbor. Stop going into your condominiums through the garage so you don’t have to see other people. The right time to meet the people you live that close to is not when the cops show up because a car got broken into and everybody comes outside to see what is going on. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Do it, or I will get rid of all the condos! Nobody will miss them.
Pouring My Art Out 
Hear, hear for the new rules! I live in an apartment condo rented to us by the owner. We met our neighbors on one side the week after we moved in because we rented their spare parking space. Our neighbors are an elderly couple with health issues & the son who has cerebral palsy lives with them. The other morning, very early, hubby heard a tiny knock at our door. When he opened it in his PJ bottoms it was our neighbor’s son – his father had fallen down & he was unable to get him back up. Hubby went over as he was & got the old man up & made sure he was OK before leaving.
That is so cool.
Thank you SLU! We live to obey!
No, we don’t, it turns out.
please get rid of all condo’s i hate them! anal leakage??? what pills are you on? You’re a supreme something….
A supreme lover of mankind! And most helpful being! (wink wink) All consummate deity of wonder! (101)
We bow to thee, in room 101
i think we’ve gotten away with it…
so far so good!
just…act…normal.
fine fine, everything’s fine, nothing going on here.. (is that good?)
excellent.
why thank you, leadership material maybe? oh shhhh
careful…loose lips, a lifetime on the ships, or something.
no ships here!
Your hull could get fat.
so could yours!
Mine is getting slimmer as I scrape the barnacles off.
really Davey Jones?
Which one???
from Pirates
I thought you meant the one from the Monkees…
oh yeah i forgot about them…lol…i mean i’m too young to remember who?
HA!!!
😉
Then loosen your lips to your heart’s content!
well if you say so…
Don’t go giving me too much power.
Yes, don’t do that.
uh oh!
Now you done it.
it appears that way…
Because it is.
I may come up with some crazy rules………
oh, yeah!
should i be scared?
Only if that’s what you’re in to; my rules would be lovely; they’d hardly seem like rules at all in fact; they’d seem more like little favours; that I were doing you.
oh you mean you would be brainwashing people?
So be it madam, if you wish to use such a vulgar term as ‘brainwashing’ to describe the beauty that is a method for systematically changing attitudes or altering beliefs, originating in totalitarian countries, especially through the use of torture, drugs, or psychological-stress techniques…then so be it!
that’s what i thought only i’m less wordy and make more sense…
Yes………that’s what “you” thought………so it has begun.
to that i repeat a resounding UH OH!
……
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
************************
Oh yes you did…
See.
I see nossing… as Sgt. Schultz liked to say.
What a hero…
He was just too friendly for the job he had.
I am making popcorn.
yuck
Here we go…
One out of two ain’t bad.
lol and pft
lpoflt
That is what they call it.
Some people could use that service.
that’s true
true dat.
That is what I thought.
Yes………that’s what “you” thought………so it continues.
There will be no thinking here!
At least you’d like to think so…
No, I wouldn’t.
I would like to not think so.
Not for the reason you think.
oh really?
O’rielly.
ei the luk o the Irish
Sure and it’s a livin’ saint I’m after bein’…
lol
I do a wicked Irish accent, but my Scottish one sucks.
oh Scottish is so difficult.
My brother does it really well.
maybe you need some lessons?
I try. I just can’t get it.
ha!
psssst
ya
True.
My grandfather’s Scottish accent was so thick I could barely understand most of what he said!
Awesome.
it’s almost like another language all together…lol
Aye, ’tis.
say wah?
Scottish for yeah it is.
i
When I was still a child he had a stroke & the only things he could say after the stroke were “Hell” & “Goddammit”. Those I could understand!
I hope I end up like that… I think…
oh no! lol
There are worse ways to go.
then what? it’s tomorrow and i forget…
Well… um… I guess.
having fun?
I almost die alot… so… yeah
i know
I know you know, you know?
yes i do know
Oh just do it.
okay…wait a min…who am i listening too??
Nobody listens to me…
did you say something?
What?
I ain’t touching that one…
It is customary for one to wait to be invited…
You kill me.
ha…
Sarcasm is just hurtful…
I’ve got to come across genuine if I am to spy for you…I think I’ve entered the inner circle.
Triple cross… not to be confused with XXX…
In the end I just end up spying on myself.
You should be doing that anyway…
I’m on it.
And so am I.
Keep it up.
It is a real side effect on commercials I have seen.
ewwww
You need to watch more TV…
no why?
Because I said so.
ya like that’s worked for you…
It did once.
pft
Would it appease you, O Great One, if I offer chocolate and adult beverages? Maybe it could help to entice those people out of their condos to socialize, in a not-the-cops-are-here way….
I used to make them cheddar cheese beer bread, but that sounds good.
Ooo…you have restless subjects oh great one; when people are invited to listen to opinions they are very amenable, make them law and they don’t really like that…I however, would follow you anywhere.
I can either quit in a pettualant frenzy or send in the secret police.
I’d go with secret police…if you can find them.
oh crap
what are you trying to do make his head burst?
There is nothing that I can make our great leader do…I am but powerless in his presence.
oh barf
Ssh…he’ll hear you…if you want to join the underground resistance movement you’ll have to be a little more subtle about it! What’s that my liege? Of course; Snow White has nothing on you!
*whispering* got you..mirror mirror
signal signal
being vwery vwery qwiet
…good…now…i’m trying to set up a ‘meeting of the disillusioned’ somewhere where the all-seeing eyes of the leader cannot go…i’m having a bit of a problem in that he’s all-seeing…any ideas?
yes pop on over to my blog, he’s not over her much 😉
oh dear……I can’t get rid of him on mine…
ya he can be pretty nosy! i’m sure he’s following this, he can’t help himself!
Then I guess we’re pretty busted…I’ll see you in Room 101.
or what he thinks is room 101…
You don’t mean……the beginner’s class for learning what a ‘room’ is?
that’s the code
I am crushed.
you win
i know. 😉
whatevs
teenage valley girl?
Jessica says it… so no.
who?
My older daughter… the one I just helped move to Arizona… do you even read my words anymore?
yes
ouch again.
ouch
it wasn’t a dig, just fact…lol my crap’s not easy!
Try prune juice.
ahaha!
Is that a yes?
to what i forget now?
Me too.
well you’re no help
No, you have made your point.
Not quiet enough.
shhhhh he’s here
You got your wish. I quit. Now Dick Cheney will be in charge.
uh oh
Don’t blame me.
why not?
Why.
I can see you.
Oh, you are on the list.
Don’t overplay your hand.
As well you should be.
pop
i thought so
splat
Reblogged this on welcometosuccess and commented:
Reblogging! 🙂
I’m glad you’re running things now and anal leakage is never a good thing!!
☺ MAM
Thank you. Your support will be duly noted.
This post and all it’s comments have made me happy today!! ☺ MAM
My work here is done.
4: living in NYC I ever knew you lived next door, it’s like we would wait til the other left their place to get into the elevator.
I put a backpack on my dog, he carried my keys, cellphone and his own water.
That is not the same. I like a dog who works for a living.
So what you’re saying is that you, Supreme Leader, will not be bringing back ephedra??? This BLOWS. I shall overthrow you for this.
The will of all the peoples of the many universes must be reconciled.
I think you are underestimating the wonders of anal leakage. Also, we as a people (Canadians) are offended by your remarks on the subject of dogs. We too deserve to have cute fur-free dogs in this climate. You cannot take this right away from us. Continue on this path and a savage army of flaming beavers will descend upon you.
I love Canadians, especially the Trailer Park Boys and Newfies. You should be able to have cute hairless dogs but maybe dress them in practical tweeds and tartans appease his craziness. The election went to his head.
Once I teach the dogs to speak, and they tell you what they think of the outfits they are forced to wear, you will all see that I am right.
I’m sure the dogs will insist on shopping for their own outfits, when they learn to speak, then they’ll want accessories. We’ll go bankrupt keeping the demanding little beasts dressed in haute couture!
I didn’t think all of this through.
hahahahahaha!
sigh
Yes, I agree with you. Someone in this room has a noggin bigger than others, but in truth, I think I could live in a world ruled by this bloke. It would be a little off base, but never boring.
And the revolution founders on my pure charm and innocent cuteness!
Your what now?
Oh you heard me.
Work would be less like work and more like fun.
I was going to get to that.
I’m okay with that.
Too bad I got fired…
Whaddya mean? You got canned did you? How come?
There was a rebellion of the non-flaming beaver variety. The peasants were revolting… really revolting.
Never listen to a pheasant. They are smelly and their feathers are gross. Plus they make weird sounds and eat unsavoury things… oh wait, you said peasant. Well… same difference, I guess.
I don’t want to make them more angry… they might burst into flames.
Come on, it’s not like they’re beavers or something.
True enough.
The words, “non-flaming beaver variety”, have now been used. This keeps getting better….
Oh, you might not have been here for my revolution against WordPress and their annoying changes, and our banner of the flaming beaver. You can’t just jump in in the middle of my life and have it make any sense at all.
Sorry, for the offense.
I just mean my life makes no sense, that’s all.
you know it! 😉
The beavers will never turn on me. Because they know that once the costuming of cute mammals commences, they will be on the short list for being dressed in outragious garments.
They may in fact BE the outrageous garments…
They remember those days.
I’m with you as a Canadian far in the North with a short haired wiener dog who needs a coat. lol
When did this happen? I’ve been gone too long.
A monster has been created. I agree with all of what he says but he’s sounding a bit more like a dictator than I would have thought.
Is it too early for an uprising?
Let’s see if he redeems himself. He isn’t around today but I’m sure we’ll be hearing from him tomorrow. He’ll be all in a dither to see what’s happened while he’s been gone. Restless natives!
he left his blog unattended! You don’t see Joffrey leaving his post in Game of Thrones, someone is gonna whip that out from under him!
If I didn’t have to go home from work now I would hijack his comment thread and end his reign!
I love a good diabolical plan; save it for future use.
I have half a mind to quit this thankless job.
You know you won’t quit. This is what happens when you wear the Galactic Drawers.
They don’t fit.
You people don’t deserve to have me as supreme leader!!!
Treason!
I know.
I still am not back, but I have accessed a computer on a space station.
Hey, you all had a chance to vote.
This is just advice, not rules.
It was a while ago, but the old supreme leader just handed over the keys.
yes you have please stop him, he’s delusional!
I will have to spend a morning catching up on his posts, I am worried about my sanity though
As well you should be.
It could either cure my ills or push me over the edge
Or both.
yes it could affect your sanity, tread gingerly! lol
My posts are certified safe to read.
pft
who said that???
said what?
not much
eh
he
pretty cool, just busy as sadness fall upon the tragedy in Boston. Many morn & cry out & pray. as for me, a different approach as taken shape…as I light this first candle, bring from darkness the evil doers responsible, 1 candle, 2 candle 3 candle more, shine justice & light upon the blood which has been poured. north wind, mother earth & darkness of night fall-may those evil doers be bound to my spell & may poison rot into their bones as cancer sets in until justice has found, 1 candle 2 candle 3 candle bound. sincerely from the writer of LondenBerg by Lord Biron
Thank you. I sometimes take refuge in siliness when the woes of the world become too much for me to bear. People far brighter than me will cast scorn upon these evil-doers. Like you.
My dog has a rain coat. It’s easier. May I still live O Great Alien?
As long as it isn’t too cute.
Just the standard. Yellow with white polka dots. It’s not like she wears the rubber boots.
sigh