Now that I am running things, I have just a few more rules to lay down. Do not feel like I am picking on you humans and your lovely little planet. These rules apply on every planet in every universe in every dimension.
1. Stop looking for diet pills. These are dangerous. There is no easy shortcut that is safe. Just eat a little less and move a little more. Or be happy with the way you are.
2. Do not take pills that have side affects that are worse than what they cure. Swapping a headache or back pain for anal leakage is never going to be a good trade.
3. Stop dressing your dogs up in cute little outfits and costumes. I guess if you live where it is really cold, you can put a sweater on the dog, but you should have just gotten a dog that doesn’t mind the cold. Like a Husky.
4. Condo people! Say hi to each other. Introduce yourself to a neighbor. Stop going into your condominiums through the garage so you don’t have to see other people. The right time to meet the people you live that close to is not when the cops show up because a car got broken into and everybody comes outside to see what is going on. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Do it, or I will get rid of all the condos! Nobody will miss them.