
Even the crack squirrels that live in my head are getting a little sick of these. So I am finishing up not with more deep thoughts on mortality, but rather with another silly Dia De Los Muertos skull, turned on its side. Because I like the colors.

Even the crack squirrels that live in my head are getting a little sick of these. So I am finishing up not with more deep thoughts on mortality, but rather with another silly Dia De Los Muertos skull, turned on its side. Because I like the colors.

When will it end?

There is a reason that I used the same artwork from the last post… except turned on it’s side… for this post. And the reason is this:
Death is a matter of perspective. I don’t mean death itself. That seems fairly straightforward. I mean what happens to us after we die. It is the great unknown. And humans hate not knowing stuff. So we get really good at two things. Looking for answers to the questions we don’t know the answers for… (that is called ‘science’, and whatever else you believe in, you should believe in science)… and, when we can’t find the answers, we make up our own answers.
There are only two real possibilities; either we die and go nowhere, or we die and go… somewhere. Religions claim to know the answer to the unanswerable, the unknowable. They all say that, if you follow their guidelines, their rules, you go somewhere great. Or you come back again. I have studied all the great religions, and I just can’t bring myself to accept that it all comes down to which of us chose the correct religion, and then followed its rules correctly. And everybody else is going somewhere bad. Because they chose wrong.
The other alternative is that all the gods exist, and are sitting around a huge table somewhere, arguing over a few thousand souls here, a few hundred souls there. But what I find most annoying are the people who are so sure that they are part of the only real religion, and everybody else is just an idiot who is going to get a horrible surprise handed to them on the day of their death. Most of the time, the people who are most sure that theirs is the right religion are the worst at following the rules suggested by that very religion they hold so sacred that deal with how to treat their fellow human beings.
I am not judging anyone who believes in any religion… although I allow myself to judge their actions. I think that people have ingrained, deep within their DNA, a need to believe that things are being watched over by a higher power. That it can’t all be just random. That is too scary. I also think that people are hardwired to fear the unknown, and, as I said, death is the greatest unknown of all. We concocted stories of better places that we can earn our way into when we shuffle off the mortal coil. And priest classes arose, setting themselves up as the keepers of the keys to these kingdoms.
Most people don’t choose their religion. They have it handed down to them. If your parents tell you stories from the time you are very young, you tend to believe the stories. That is just the way humans are. If you tell your children to be good, and pray before bed time,and that then they will go to a land of milk and honey, that is harmless enough… even if they soon forget the being good and praying part as they grow up. But the sad thing is all the people who have been sent off to their own deaths, or to kill, in the name of those religions. Now, if you are reading this as a White Christian, you probably immediately assumed that I was talking about suicide bombers or Kamikaze pilots. And I am. But we send our kids off to war telling them that our gods are on their side too. And we used it to justify some pretty horrible things in the past.
I know I have said this before, but I think it bears repeating.
If your god says it is okay… or even good… to kill other human beings, maybe you should try to find another god.

Uh… I don’t have any clever new thoughts on death… but I did just notice that this one sort of ended up making it look like the skeleton is washing his… uh… I want to say ‘boner’, because that would be exceptionally funny in this particular instance… but I am going with ‘junk’… because this is supposed to be a more or less family-friendly blog… and because I am classy that way.

I know I said in an earlier post that you should shoot death in the face when he comes for you. I don’t actually own a gun. When are we going to have a serious gun debate? The gun owners always say we can’t talk about it after a mass shooting… which I guess means we can never talk about it.

Not only did the Egyptians pioneer the idea of ‘oh yes you can bring it with you’, but they had some other interesting ideas about death… or the afterlife. The idea of being mummified does not appeal to me personally. I already have plans about where my ashes should be scattered, with the remainder being placed under a memorial tree near my best friend, John. It has a lovely view of the San Francisco Bay. I have posted pictures from that spot, and of his tree and the tiki-stakes I carved for him.
Those are the two ends of the spectrum, I suppose. Have your body preserved forever, or just get rid of it quickly. Or let it rot in the ground. What do you plan to do?
When I was a teenager, I did have an idea that, if I died young… as I always sort of expected to… I would have my body dressed in bell-bottom blue jeans covered with patches, and my favorite Bad Company T-shirt with the big pot leaf on it, and then, holding a beer in one hand and a bong in the other, I would be embedded in a large, clear block of acrylic plastic, and stuck somewhere as a tourist attraction.
Now, you might think that I have matured a little over the years… but only because you obviously don’t know all the details of what my friends are supposed to do with my ashes.

There is something I love about the Mexican holiday of ‘Dia De Los Muertos’… the Day of the Dead. Celebrating the life of missed loved ones… with tequila.., They aren’t the only culture to do this in one form or another, but they might have the best festivities. And food.
I turned the picture on its side. I just thought it made it more artistic. The artwork is not mine.

I would love to wax philosophical at this point, and say something brilliant about death and back stabbing… but I really just want to point out that this particular piece of art is a painting I did of one of the skeletons featured in Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

I painted it on a piece of plywood. I used thick, white T-shirt paint for the bones, that comes in a squeeze bottle. It gives the bones a very 3-dimensional look. I thinks the sword blades and hook are glittery T-shirt paint. I used a shiny silver model paint for the sky. It is hanging in my garage… where my wife makes me keep all my art… sigh…

I always liked this one dead pirate in Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean ride. He went down fighting. He went not gently into that good night. He spit in death’s eye, aiming his pistol into death’s face.
That is what I am going to do. I am going to slam my balls right into death’s grinning skull face… no… I am talking about my figurative black powder pistol balls… why do you have to make everything so dirty?