Dear anti-maskers,

I do not know where you got this idea that making you wear something somehow takes away your basic freedoms. We make you wear pants. We, collectively, as a society, decided that you need to wear pants when you go outside. I never hear you complaining about that, and pants don’t save peoples’ lives… usually.

Now, I should say that I am not anti-pants. I think the idea of nudity being illegal is silly, considering we were all born that way. That being said, there are lots of places where I prefer people to wear pants. I don’t want to celebrate Thanksgiving at a dinner table with a bunch of pantsless people, and those are my family.

I have a sneaking suspicion that if someone were wandering around your neighborhood without pants, you would be understandably nervous and be among the first to call the police. Sure, if they are carrying semiautomatic weapons you have no problem with it. You also seem strangely unperturbed by the idea of taking away people’s votes. But for some reason, this mask thing is driving you up the wall.

What if, in World War Two, people had gotten it into their heads that they didn’t want to ration food or gas for the war effort? What about my freedom, they would ask? Well, then maybe the world would be run by the Nazis now, and, while I will not lump all of you together with the neo-Nazis or White Supremacists, I suspect that would be okay with them. And you are sort of siding with them in this instance.

Ask yourself why your right to not wear a mask supersedes the rights of the elderly and immunocompromised to live. Is it really too much to ask to wear a mask that, conceivably, might save someone’s life?

So, when you go out, wear a mask… and pants.

Thanks. Your friend and fellow American, Arthur.