Once upon a time there was an adorable little princess. One day her parents, the King and Queen, took her to the seaside. As she was playing down beside the gently lapping waves, she was surprised to see emerging from the water a very large, very pink crab. The crab was in fact taller than her father’s horse. She might have been frightened but for the fact that the crab’s eyes, held aloft on two long stalks, were very blue and very wise and very friendly…
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Pouring My Art Out by Arthur H. Browne is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.Based on a work at https://pouringmyartout.wordpress.com/.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.






Then the crab lured her into the ocean as a replacement for the little mermaid who’d rather be a mute human tramp.
Or:
The Krab recognized that she was a princess and said, “money!”
not enough melted butter
there’s no butter on krabby patties
is too… secret ingredient… so that makes you Plankton…
mmm chum
by the bucket
chumcicles
need me a robot computer wife
I want to live in a pineapple
under the sea…
that brings me back to the little mermaid
mmmm…. fish
you want her filet don’t you
I’m not sushi will let me have it
she may say carp e diem
I say crap a diode
don’t be shellfish
clam up
no whaling about it
that seems fishy
you’re so koi
I can’t kelp it… okay, that one smelt
you did that on porpoise
I learned it is school… I tried to tuna deaf ear to it… but I couldn’t kelp myself
She politely inquired, “Solve this riddle for me, wise crab. Why does the ocean roar?”
The crab astutely replied, “If you had crabs on your bottom, you’d roar too.”
Oh yeah… Bonus points for sick and twisted
The crab said to the young princess in dulcet tones “I am your fairy crab-mother, young princess. Only you can see me. I’ll be here to help you as you grow and marry and become Queen. Any time you need advice or just a kind ear to listen, come down to the seashore and I’ll be waiting. Oh, and please try not to eat any more seafood – they are all my friends you see.” At that the giant pink crab turned and disappeared back into the sea.
That was beautiful and sweet and tender… Did you forget where you were???
She smiled and took a couple of steps toward the enormous crustacean. He closed the gap and gently patted her head with his claw. “Dear sweet crab may I ride on your back?” The friendly fella gingerly lifted her onto his back and she settled in for the ride. Her tummy gave a slight rumble, reminding her that it had been too many hours since her last meal. She pulled out her knitting needles and with a shout of glee plunged them into the crabs skull. They built a fire on the beach, her fathers horse dragged the crab to his ultimate resting place and they cooked him there. The whole village feasted for a week.
I think I love you…
I grew up on the old version Grimms hee hee
oh yeah
And the winner has it!
seems like
hee hee, I don’t know I read a couple others that were pretty cool
We are all winners here…
mmm hmmm
I mean… mostly… sort of… I guess
Happy New Year!
you too
Hehe! I see.
But do you really?
I only humbly speak for my sight.
I can’t speak for reality.
I see what my eyes see, based on the law of physics n all. I may only hope my mindset doesn’t becloud my sight.
we all hope that
Indeed!
precisely
“Mankind’, schmandkind ! I am a princess. It’s not my job to worry about stuff like that! Soooo boring! I have lackeys and underlings to take care of the boring stuff! I am on the way to the spa now, to get my derrière made even more round and adorable.. Underling, do something to get this crab off my case! “
Oh yeah… Bonus points for the spoiled princess slam.
She waved to the crab. It promptly snapped her in half with it’s huge claw. The end.
Now that is exactly how I pictured this game going… What is everybody else supposd to do now?
Bring her back to life somehow. Not my problem though. 🙂
Ah, too many princesses running around as it is.
The princess said “Hello Mr. Crab.” and was rather taken aback when the crab replied:
“Hello back young miss”, she certainly hadn’t expected the crab to speak to her. “I’m here with a warning to you and all mankind” the crab continued. “The oceans are becoming less salty as more and more ice melts and increases the amount of freshwater pouring into our oceans. If you don’t stop soon then this planet will cease to support all life. This is not only bad for us in the oceans but also those on land will suffer. You should have seen this coming when it wasn’t as bad as it is now.”
That was awesome… You brought it into the real world and still made it fun! Thanks.
You’re welcome thought I’d bring it up to date as the rest are a bit dated nowadays.
I like that concept