I was driving my younger daughter, Mollie, somewhere the other day, and I glanced over at her, and it suddenly hit me… I only know two people on this whole planet that I am actually related to by blood.
The thing is… and this isn’t really a bad thing… it is an awesome thing… but I am adopted. I have an awesome family, and there are hundreds of us out there. I wouldn’t change a thing about my family. But when you get right down to the genetics of it, I am a member of this family by law, not blood.
That isn’t a bad thing. But it is a little weird to know that there is another entire family of people out there that share the same blood as me, and I don’t know any of them.
I wonder if anybody in that other family is as strange as I am. Do they write music, play instruments, do any kind of art? Are we all tall, or am I unusual in that way? I mean, obviously we must be an attractive family… just look at me, for gosh sakes… but man… we might be the biggest bunch of freaks there ever were.
And it makes me a little sad to know that my daughters might have grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins floating around out there that might never meet. And it makes me wonder if maybe I… or my daughters… might look like some of those people we will never know.
It is also possible that family has completely died out… that we are the last members to survive. That is a little disconcerting. But it gives me a whole new reason to cherish my oh-so-beautiful girls.
Pouring My Art Out 
Blood does not make a family, people we love make a family.
I know exactly what you mean.
There could be a whole army of AB’s out there. That could be utterly wonderful or completely chaotic. If they were as strange as you I think they would have found their way to your blog, they could be hiding amongst your minions.
Google: the wacky world of Arthur Brown… without the ‘E’ on the end of Browne… there is an English musician from the 70’s… crazy dude… knew Jimmy Hendrix and all those people…
Haha, brilliant. How apt
I might be part of a clone army
(Shudders)
😀
yup
Cherish the girls. It doesn’t always turn out to be the “Hallmark Moment” they often show on TV. I’m adopted as well and I have a very messy life. I met my biological father, three sisters and nephew when I was 27. It was not good for a very long, long time. There are still moments that are not good. The difference is that now 30 years later there are occasionally moments that are amazingly wonderful.
I can see how it could go either way. Thanks for sharing.
“I mean, obviously we must be an attractive family… just look at me, for gosh sakes… but man… we might be the biggest bunch of freaks there ever were.” I am sure there are many Arthur look a likes out there but none as special as the crack squirrel Arthur we all love.
You are too kind.
I think I told you about my nephew. My sister had a son in the early sixties. Needless to say, a good Catholic girl didn’t have a child out of wedlock then. He was adopted and a secret. Only my parents and my sister knew, well one of my grandmas did too, she lived in California and that’s where my sister went when it became obvious. Imagine our surprise when she announced we were having dinner to meet her son. WHAT?! He is a couple years younger than I am, grew up near us and is without a doubt my sister’s son. He looks like her. He looked for a long time before he was able to find her, even tho it was an open adoption, a lot of time passed and there was a fire that destroyed lots of records. Anyway, I guess my 2 cents is to continue looking if that is something you want to know. It took a long time, but he finally found my sister, and we had a happy ending. Things coulda been very different for all of us, but this is how things happened.
This was not an open adoption, and California is very protective of the rights of people who give a baby up for adoption.
I can see that, but what about your rights? Health history? and like you said, bloodlines. It is a hard thing for me to empathize, I imagine I would have to live it and get my thoughts from my experience.
Some people might not want to face the kids they gave up, and this was back before the whole open adoption thing was done. Maybe mothers would get abortions if they wouldn’t get promised not to have it come back to haunt them later.
I have been doing my family tree and to be honest with you even if you think you know who your blood family are you might want to avoid DNA tests that go back more then a generation or two lol, one of the most amusing things I found was a family member who managed to have two kids by her husband three years after his death, also lots of people had a habit of claiming being married on census records but there is no marriage certificate mainly as most people could not afford to actually get married, the family you choose is nearly always better than some members of the ones you inherit
Humans are complex. I am mostly interested in my bloodline as a historian. I don’t need the relationship, I just want to know the story.
You are awesome.
Thank you.
But I meant it, and not just in a “I need to write a comment but don’t want to spend a lot of time on it cos I have 50 more blogs to read kind of way” I REALLY think you must be the greatest dad.
Well, of course I am… but it is very nice of you to notice…HA!
I do notice stuff like that. It’s important cos I think I’m pretty much the best mom in the whole world (don’t ask my son, the one I call Angel Boy in spite of the fact that he’s 33 haha)
Raising kids isn’t easy.
True dat, my brother!
So you might as well raise smart, sweet, kind and attractive ones, right?
YES! But now I’m thinking, in what context did you mean “attractive”??
I mean raising ugly kids is better left to someone else… I guess…
Oh, I totes agree 🙂
That is all I meant.
🙂 I know!
phew
It never ends, trust me on this. My 33 yr old son just sent me an email asking/demanding I bake and send him lentil cookies TOMORROW. He’s a yale prof. Too funny. And what will I be doing tomorrow? Baking and sending him lentil cookies. With pleasure.
I love love!
And now I’m baking….:)
HA! Make me some too…
Sure, no prob. Only you need to be in SoCal
Uh… I am in So Cal
Uh WHAT? so is that you that’s been stalking me at the gym? Don’t tell me you live in Carlsbad. Then I’d have to invite you over for cookies.
I live in Rancho Penasquitos
Have you ever looked for your birth family?
They don’t make it easy.
Sorry to hear that
It is for the safety of the mother who gave the kid up. I guess it would be hard to have the kid just show up some day and ask what the heck was up with that?
Oh it was a private adoption?
Most of them are… or they were back in the day.
damn
yup
Oh and read Gaza Strip thing.
Yay… score one for the crack squirrels… they will be thrilled.
We know my adopted brother’s family very well. And we are oh so glad things happened the way they did. It turns out that we are the freaky good looking ones ! We are the ones who cherish family. He has no children of his own ( he’s 48 now)) but my kids love their uncle. Family eh !?
I guess there are different kinds of adoptions that create different situations.
My son was adopted (duh, by me). I wonder those same things — does he have siblings? Grandparents? Folks who look like him. But the adoption was closed — international adoption from Chile. I know he has aunts and uncles. He likely has cousins.
It’s very different, isn’ it.
It is a strangely human thing.
Hmm… feeling your wonderings, man.
*sitting out on the tree branch overlooking the sunset beach beside LMAO, hands also on chin, gazing, wondering…*
I like the sound of that
You’re always going to be awesome, remember.
And I really liked the ending of this post in particular; GO YOU!! 😀 You guys are a brilliant family.
Thanks.