This post isn’t supposed to make you sad… but it might…

I was driving my younger daughter, Mollie, somewhere the other day, and I glanced over at her, and it suddenly hit me… I only know two people on this whole planet that I am actually related to by blood.

The thing is… and this isn’t really a bad thing… it is an awesome thing… but I am adopted. I have an awesome family, and there are hundreds of us out there. I wouldn’t change a thing about my family. But when you get right down to the genetics of it, I am a member of this family by law, not blood.

That isn’t a bad thing. But it is a little weird to know that there is another entire family of people out there that share the same blood as me, and I don’t know any of them.

I wonder if anybody in that other family is as strange as I am. Do they write music, play instruments, do any kind of art? Are we all tall, or am I unusual in that way? I mean, obviously we must be an attractive family… just look at me, for gosh sakes… but man… we might be the biggest bunch of freaks there ever were.

And it makes me a little sad to know that my daughters might have grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins floating around out there that might never meet. And it makes me wonder if maybe I… or my daughters… might look like some of those people we will never know.

It is also possible that family has completely died out… that we are the last members to survive. That is a little disconcerting. But it gives me a whole new reason to cherish my oh-so-beautiful girls.

 

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58 Responses to This post isn’t supposed to make you sad… but it might…

  1. benzeknees says:

    Blood does not make a family, people we love make a family.

  2. joehoover says:

    There could be a whole army of AB’s out there. That could be utterly wonderful or completely chaotic. If they were as strange as you I think they would have found their way to your blog, they could be hiding amongst your minions.

  3. Cherish the girls. It doesn’t always turn out to be the “Hallmark Moment” they often show on TV. I’m adopted as well and I have a very messy life. I met my biological father, three sisters and nephew when I was 27. It was not good for a very long, long time. There are still moments that are not good. The difference is that now 30 years later there are occasionally moments that are amazingly wonderful.

  4. “I mean, obviously we must be an attractive family… just look at me, for gosh sakes… but man… we might be the biggest bunch of freaks there ever were.” I am sure there are many Arthur look a likes out there but none as special as the crack squirrel Arthur we all love.

  5. Julie says:

    I think I told you about my nephew. My sister had a son in the early sixties. Needless to say, a good Catholic girl didn’t have a child out of wedlock then. He was adopted and a secret. Only my parents and my sister knew, well one of my grandmas did too, she lived in California and that’s where my sister went when it became obvious. Imagine our surprise when she announced we were having dinner to meet her son. WHAT?! He is a couple years younger than I am, grew up near us and is without a doubt my sister’s son. He looks like her. He looked for a long time before he was able to find her, even tho it was an open adoption, a lot of time passed and there was a fire that destroyed lots of records. Anyway, I guess my 2 cents is to continue looking if that is something you want to know. It took a long time, but he finally found my sister, and we had a happy ending. Things coulda been very different for all of us, but this is how things happened.

    • This was not an open adoption, and California is very protective of the rights of people who give a baby up for adoption.

      • Julie says:

        I can see that, but what about your rights? Health history? and like you said, bloodlines. It is a hard thing for me to empathize, I imagine I would have to live it and get my thoughts from my experience.

        • Some people might not want to face the kids they gave up, and this was back before the whole open adoption thing was done. Maybe mothers would get abortions if they wouldn’t get promised not to have it come back to haunt them later.

  6. paulaacton says:

    I have been doing my family tree and to be honest with you even if you think you know who your blood family are you might want to avoid DNA tests that go back more then a generation or two lol, one of the most amusing things I found was a family member who managed to have two kids by her husband three years after his death, also lots of people had a habit of claiming being married on census records but there is no marriage certificate mainly as most people could not afford to actually get married, the family you choose is nearly always better than some members of the ones you inherit

  7. Gibber says:

    Have you ever looked for your birth family?

  8. whoopydo says:

    Oh and read Gaza Strip thing.

  9. whoopydo says:

    We know my adopted brother’s family very well. And we are oh so glad things happened the way they did. It turns out that we are the freaky good looking ones ! We are the ones who cherish family. He has no children of his own ( he’s 48 now)) but my kids love their uncle. Family eh !?

  10. Elyse says:

    My son was adopted (duh, by me). I wonder those same things — does he have siblings? Grandparents? Folks who look like him. But the adoption was closed — international adoption from Chile. I know he has aunts and uncles. He likely has cousins.

    It’s very different, isn’ it.

  11. Hmm… feeling your wonderings, man.
    *sitting out on the tree branch overlooking the sunset beach beside LMAO, hands also on chin, gazing, wondering…*

  12. deepbluesandseafoamgreens says:

    You’re always going to be awesome, remember.
    And I really liked the ending of this post in particular; GO YOU!! 😀 You guys are a brilliant family.

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