I want to break the all-time record for the most comments on a WordPress blog post.
*** PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS POST ***
Okay, some of you will see this as a shallow attempt on my part to bump up my stats.
And I’m not saying you are wrong.
But here’s the thing… oh, thing, I missed you, where have you been?
I have always said that I have the best commenters on WordPress. I have two posts that have over 1,000 comments on them… True, half of those are my return answers to comments, because I always answer my comments, but still… And I will even go so far as to admit that my comment sections… OUR comment sections… are sometimes the funniest part of my posts. Are you happy now?
But this all has me wondering what the record for number of comments on one post actually is. I want to see if we can break it. Just for the fun of it. We will all be part of a social media experiment. We will all go down in the history books as record breakers. We can amaze and astound the WordPress overlords and maybe have them take notice of us.
And it will be fun.
Oh, and I am a little disappointed that only one person even commented on that cute picture of me as a baby in the last post I did, so here is your chance to make it up to me…
Pouring My Art Out 
Artmetric System Chapter 1: Volume: measured in Myarts. 1 Myart is about 264.17 gallons and 1056.69 quarts.
One myart = 264.17 gallons of crack squirrel saliva…
could it measure different crack squirrel bodily fluid?
it could… but would it really want to?
I don’t even want to measure their saliva
ahhh… you spammed like 9 times…
WordPress probably detected an unusually high number of comments from me.
well they would, wouldn’t they… not that it was a record…
Ok – Paul and I will be developing Artmetric system. For those who find Metric too alien and British (foot-pound-gallon-Fahrenheit) too confusing.
wait… they have that celsius thing, don’t they
That’s part of metric system. It’s everywhere.
not to me it isn’t
No? Well, you are about 1.9 meters tall and weigh, oh, 80-90 kilograms – so it’s part of you too!
You should run!
spam
Reached here by lifecoachwriter blog and here goes my contribution.. Enjoy! 🙂
Yay, thanks so much. And you are now a part of history… Sort of… Not that you weren’t already.
How about another visit to the Art Party blog? Come see what you’ve been missing?
you are saying hi to a lot of one time visitors… that shows dedication
Maybe they would come back if more high folks play with them… wait… ummm yeah
we used to do this a lot
I don’t have time for a lot buttt I’m working from home today and there are quotes around the “work” part of it because I very much doubt the rest of the crew will show.
I like that you took the lead because when it gets busy like that I can’t be clever on each comment
Reblogged this on free life coaching blog and commented:
This very amusing and witty blogger is trying to break a WordPress record for the most comments on a single post. Yes, it’s a marketing ploy, but he’s had me in stitches of laughter on occasion, always responds to comments and is good for the soul! So drop by, comment, have a smile and a laugh and pass it on.
Sorry, I’m doing a fly by and didn’t read all the comments above. My bad! Good luck with the stats and the awesome marketing tool. (Wish I’d thought of it! lol) Have a safe and happy New Year! 🙂
Thanks
Well, well, well…. I just thought I should check in here and see what tomfoolery is taking place…. Not much huh? You should crack the whip sir. Or maybe just chill being as it is almost Christmas!
we will have more reunions after the Christmas rush… but there have been quite a few.
it can’t be the same without me…..
of course not
We have had a lot of fun here Arthur, I thank you for providing the avenue for me to have met so many wonderful people, yourself included! Merry Christmas my friend, if I don’t see you again before then. Meanwhile check that email I sent you, I want them all!
ok, me too, I will, all what???
baby animals. I did send you that right??
I am not sure
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Yay
Here’s another comment! And a fun video for us to watch! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6M17aG_Po2Y
whoo boy…
A classic! 😄
uh huh
So, did you ever find out what the actual record for most WordPress comments on a single post is? You have to be getting close. And with everyone going to be off for Christmas, you just might make it! Merry Christmas!
They still say they don’t keep track of that… which is weird and unlikely…
But we are just going to keep going here until we get bored or we blow up the internet…
What happened? The number of comments is too damn high.
Well… that is sort of the whole idea… right?
I forget whether I’ve posted on this before, but what the heck, I can post this to be around, just in case.
YAY.
Well whether WP peeps are impressed or not…I am. Anyway you posted a comment on my blog about one of your ideas for children’s books. I looked and couldn’t find it. Then I came back a few more times and finally found it. I didn’t spend an inordinate time looking for it each time so maybe that’s why I didn’t find it right off. I’m going with that for an excuse.
Anyway, great ideas! I agree it’s hard to come up with characters that haven’t been done before but we would never create something at all if we waited to come up with an idea that has never been done eh?
I liked the Wizard Gad idea and at first I was even a little uncomfortable after I read a little more about it. But hey at least I felt something…(-:
I’ll stay tuned…S
I do like it when you come in and poke around… so to speak…
Do not mock the flaming beavers.
…ooo000ooo…
TRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENT!!!! Where have you bean??
he bean around…
Yo! Julie! I’m here! Just gettin back in it, yo.
in it to win it
What do I win, what do I win, what do I win????
An all expenses paid trip to crack squirrel land…
I’ve been feeling the need for a vacation…
Plenty of room in the cranial hamster ball
Um, yuck.
Oh yeah
It just isn’t the same without you Nert….
Nertster
Same with you, Julie!
Now if only you were both here at the same time anymore
It’s entirely possible, you know, that we’re the same person. Just the same way you’re an alien and X is a robot. Weirder things have happened…
Maybe I really only have one follower with really severe multiple personality disorder
Now that would make a trippy story…
Hmmmmmm
I commented on your Bill Cosby post and now I’m commenting here that I commented there to help up your comment numbers here…(-:
That is the circle of life… Ha! And thanks.
Even newer and better thread, now at 60% off!!!!
I lo th t s m it like a po s .
What was it at full price?
that one I just made up
New thread, new thread, new thread!!! All comments on this thread are 50% off!!!
I th a ne thr ?… ha… 50 percent off
congratulations, you just saved 50% of your comment!
Oh yeah
Now you can have twice as many of them!
more math
Sorry, but it’s everywhere. Even the number of comments on this post contains math.
that doesn’t add up
the only math you need to know here is 666…
WHEW! *gasp gasp pant pant uhhh. hoooooooooo.** I made *gasp pant* it! sorry I am so late!
we were just early
The important part is that you made it. The another important part is that this party never stops. Actually, scratch that first important part. Only the second important part is really important important part.
This is the party that never ends… it goes on and on my friends…
it’s just more fun with other people there.
Just like love
Enjambmentisious http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enjambment Art???xoxooxX
Now that is a good word.
Et ainsi plus intéressante Art, merci oX …c
and thank you
Thank you X. It is important that I understand the importance of the important important parts. Now, does this hold true for all important parts? Should I always scratch the first important part or does that only pertain to this post? Should I just skip the first important part and swiftly move on to the second important part? Is the second important part always the really important important part??
Never scratch your important parts… at least not here…
but… you know… when it itches…. you…. you just…. you just gotta scratch….
Do you ever feel… you know… not so fresh…
wait… did I just cross a line?
I don’t think you should be scratching any important parts. It’s okay to do that occasionally, but if your important parts demand to be scratched constantly, you might want to call a doctor.
Don’t do anything rash…
I was reading your post about your unstupervised drunken weekend reunion. Sorry I couldn’t make it…(-:
that’s ok, we do them now and then. I hope you show up for the next one.
I only made it to a sober part of of the reunion.
awwwwwwwwww
This is not a comment. It’s more of a statement.
we don’t have a statement post… you should start one
Or is it?
well played
Thanks
Thank you
Hey, you’re not supposed to like the comments. Comment likes don’t count!
you mean the button or just saying it?
No, you can say it, just clicking on the star doesn’t improve the counts.
there you go
I think that’s a question?
Are you sure?
yes??
ok
Maybe just a rhetorical one.
a theoretical one
Also, I wonder what percentage of your comments this post has?
that is a good question
Personally, I think it would be awesome if this thing hit 40k by January 23d.
Or 50
Okay, so this post now has over 37,000 comments. You’re averaging over 10 comments per day for one year. If you have half the comments, it means you’re averaging 5 comments per day for one year.
That sounds like math… is there going to be a test… actually, when you break it down, that doesn’t sound like a lot. But 1,000 in one weekend does.
Good morning, Art (or maybe good afternoon?). Glad I could help you reach the newest total. And I’m happy to say that I, at least, am not hung over today.
I am not hung over… but I have felt better
You know what they say cures that – “hair of the dog.” I would have joined in the drinking last night, but couldn’t inasmuch as I was a bit under the weather. Oh well.
drinking kills germs
Naw, I was under the weather because of my ulcerative colitis. Drinking definitely would have been bad.
oh… right
But, of course, it is possible to party with drinking.
uh… right?
You don’t agree? Sometimes it’s almost more fun to party if you’re not drinking because then you can really understand how stupid everyone else is acting while they’re drinking.
I did that for a long time too
Looks like you passed out and are sleeping it off. I’ll be up winding down a little while longer and then you’ll have missed your big chance.
story of my life… sorry
Okay, whiny baby. I’ve been up since 4:30AM Sat. and I just got in from work and it’s 12:35AM Sun. Have you sobered up yet, or are you already in bed like I should be?
sorry…
Did you read that absolutely amazing article over at talker99.wodpress.com? It’s about the Kingston Falls tragedy and I swear……it is a hard hitting bit of reporting. I think I cried at least three times. I’m not sure who this guy is but he sure writes words that you are now reading.
Cuz no one seems to visit my site….ever…..so I had to pay for advertising over here.
How long have you been doing the blog?
Well, I was originally Talker96 but decided to change to talker99. The thing is, I had a ton of followers when I was 96, even had a book out under the name, but one drunken night I decided to toss it all away and redo my image by three numbers(kinda like Prince) So this is where we find me now, a year later and the name change has yet to pay off…..
can’t you just go tell all the old followers who you are now?
When I say i deleted everything, I mean everything. The sole survivor of the deletion was H.E, Ellis, who I wrote The cupid interview in Iconic Interviews for. Everyone else was lost.
I love H. E.! I wrote a story for the Iconic Interviews book. I also had a blog that I erased. It was an invite-only private blog all about my youthful days of getting in trouble
What if Kingston Falls Creatures ate some of your followers?
What if Kingston falls and skins its knee?
ok, I will go look. I don’t want you to be sad.
yay
Ha… I thought it was a real thing.
Well, it seems like ya’ all are doing just fine, so I’m calling it a night. I’ll try to rejoin the party tomorrow. Have fun!
thanks so much for being here!
I hope you saved some of those daiquiris for the rest of us Art! JD and I just had dinner at The Rock and the drink menu was turning my head; too bad it would have emptied my wallet! But one day I’m going to stop in with birthday money and try one of their bourbon samplers! Yum!
I have some left… I am toying with the idea of just doing a drunk post… like a live, drunk post… just type whatever the hell the crack squirrels put in my head…
Go for it! What could possibly go wrong?
uh
I guess
Uh oh!
exactly
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Am I late? Hello? Hello? -parks her ass-
No no, the party’s on, it’s totally on. I like your gravatar, by the way. It made me a little hungry.
Hungry? -checks self- I’m a razorback, mate. Tusks and all.
oh yeah…
But are razorbacks edible? We’re Canadian, eh, so not very smart or worldly, but we’re always looking for new meat. Oh boy… that doesn’t sound good. I take it back!
Razorbacks are dangerous. Well, I’m not that bad. But am I tasty? Jury is out I think.
Very well. You can’t be worse than moose meat…
uh
Well, moose meat is a bit tough and somewhat oily… and has a particular aroma that evokes the bouquet of overheated cow dung.
oh boy
But you know, a moose makes a lot of meat… can keep you in oily, foul-smelling burgers for years. Moose meat does tend to turn your poop a livid green, however… it’s a bit weird. Fucking moose. Ooopppsss… family blog. Shit. I should watch my goddam mouth. Wash it out with some blended moose urine (also known as Budweiser).
but can moose self cook like the beavers can
I think razorbacks are pretty greasy, too. But they are difficult to eat because of all those razors. And their backs.
you can get a close shave with them
I can’t argue with this.
you could
is that a sports logo? or a college?
It’s just a logo, I think.
ahhh…
Out here there is a few terms for people, one being “Bush pig” which is kinda like a razorback. Finding an appropriate picture of one was hard, so I used the one I have up.
are there a lot of inappropriate pictures of razor backs???
If you get us sued by feminists, or animal rights activists, or sports fans, you are fired as head minion
I’m pretty sure I can get us sued by a feminist, animal rights activist sports fan, no problem. I like to down multiple winged animals with single thrusts of my ample bosom. Wait, that doesn’t make sense… but I’m letting it stand.
uh
put that in your pipe and smoke it
Now that was snappy….. I both stand corrected and highly aroused.
I just learned how to stick the pictures in… so
You are so weird Trent. That must be why the weird compartment of my heart is so full. What with you and Arthur….
we have been serving the world’s need for weirdness since time began… for us
We love our JUUUUUUUULLLLIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Weird and all.
yeah we do
uh oh
Serves you right for not feeding us minions!
whatever
You can’t have an army and not feed it!
I can feed parts of my army to other parts of my army if it is big enough… an army travels on its stomachs…
Oooooooo… the cannibal play. Well orchestrated, my man, though if I do the math correctly, it seems to me that you shall fairly exponentially thin out your ranks, and by rights, the last few minions would necessarily turn their sights on you, no?
But when we have these drunken parties, the minion breeding program kicks into high gear
I’m breeding right now.
see
Okay, I just learned how to like comments, so I liked all yours. To be truthful, some were more like-worthy than others, but I found a redemptive feature in each of them. I’m good that way. I’m also still in awe of your ability to respond to comments.
like this response here?
I think I might spend a week only liking comments…
It seems a little like a waste of time. Doesn’t even show up on the stats does it?
I think I may do that experiment…. I will go everywhere, to anyone, and I will like the shit out of what they have to say. Oh yeaaaaaaaaah…..
That sounds so… Canadian…
did you mean “feeding us”, or “feeding minions to us”? As a mid-level minion, I’m very interested to know.
oooh… you might want to read this whole comment thread… the whole ugly truth comes out… Soylent Brown is minions… or at least their fingers…
I read it. Livid green is moose.
?
Moose meat makes livid green poop… No?
that works for me
but why would you want green poop?
I was wondering about that…
What, the Minion Chow label on the generic green powder foodstock didn’t give this away???
…
I only read the nutrition labels.
All the label says is: 100% pure minion chow… see… it sort of covers all the bases…
Well, look who was here.
my head feels funny
I only show up when I know there’s a party. And when I’m relatively drunk. Which is a party. yes!
I never went to a Grateful Dead concert… uh… unaltered… I was afraid I might find out I didn’t really like them.
YAY! You arrived at the best part of the weekend so far.
Well, wouldn’t want you to be drinking alone. Cordelia’s Mom is here.
Yay… are you actually here… like on the actual comment post… because it is getting crazy up in here.
I am on the comment post, because your other post said you were at the party and no one else was there, and I felt you might need company. I had a virtual party a couple of months ago, and absolutely no one showed up, and I was devastated.
awww… I must have been busy with something important… I would have been there
I don’t think we knew each other at that point, so you’re excused.
phew
But next time I have a virtual party, I expect you and all your readers to join me.
They don’t listen to me.
That’s OK. I’m sure the ones who count would come.
one would imagine
I would come CM. I like you. I just need to be aware, and not working or sleeping….
no excuses!
also, Julie missed my party too… so
BUP BUP BUP!!!! none of that Arthur!!
I get carried away
Thanks, Julie. Next time I host a virtual party, you will be at the top of the guest list.
hey now
Oh, Julie, but you’ll have to share top billing with Art, of course.
there ya go
You know I would never intentionally leave you out.
I do know that
Excellent… I’m going to chug back this bottle of wine, we shall see what happens. I expect seedy levels of debauchery and lots of finger food…
Well, Art didn’t tell me you were there already. Might be too wild a party for me, unless I can catch up. Opening the wine now …
daiquiris… the only way to fly… in a bag, no less
I used to love daiquiris, but they no longer agree with me because of my UC. For some reason wine doesn’t bother me.
(Actually my favorite drink as a very young woman was a Singapore Sling – anyone remember those?)
I got slung out of Singapore once… badum dum
I once had something like 4 of them during a dinner party with friends. Then I had to sign the credit card slip and add the tip in, and my math is bad when I’m sober. The waiter got so excited at the huge tip that he treated us all to magic tricks at the table, and made the restaurant stay open late to accommodate us.
uh oh
We will wait for you, dude!
…ooo000ooo…
We still don’t know what that means – do you???
I have three possible explanations
Well, do tell…
no… I am thinking of doing a drunk funny post… how can we do one together,,,>???
Well I’m always up for that…
but how… how but
Yeah, I’m sure.
Totally, CM.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0
Okay, now that just looks dirty…
I know
ha
See, you and Trent are apparently both so far ahead of me at this point that apparently neither of you can even put together a sentence.
I reply to these in my notification drop menu… someday, we are going to put all these comments into a book, but putting them in order to make sense… who boy
Bet it took you awhile to write that.
well… yes
LOL
ha
wheee
fingers are food
Is THAT what you’ve been serving we minions???? You’re sick, also quite frugal. But we’re hungry, so whatever.
But they are fresh minion fingers… what did you think happened to all the fingers lost in the grist mill?
We were afraid to ask…
well, good
I have to bail for a bit… shall be back. Sounds like some good folks in here.
ok…
DANG IT!!!! Do you have any idea how long it takes me to grow my fingers back??
too long
You have to leave the table if you start playing with your food, Trent.
and why does my mouth taste like a tomb?
wait a minute Dan… Trent is the head minion. I think we are supposed to follow his lead…
Nobody can boss Trent around… except me…
Well, get moving then, Julie.
now you are telling her what to do… who’s in charge around here anyway?
The sober guy without a hangover. DUH.
oh… crap
Asked and answered, your honor.
whateverman…
Here’s another chance to us oh…crap. Take a look at the new “upgraded” stats page. Shades of Beep Boop. Why do I want a blown up stats page where I have to scroll to infinity to see what I want? Where is the views per visitor avg bar in dark blue on the graph? There’s a link below the date at the top of the bar chart. They need a thumbs up/down vote box. I don’t see any real advantage or benefit, but that doesn’t seem to stop them. Who wants to toggle through a series of windows when most of what you want is there at a glance right now?
I am scared to look
maybe I have to shut down before the changes show up…
So you and Julie suckered me into making 10 comments on the ***COMMENT HERE*** post. Well played.
that’s how it works… you knew what you signed up for
It was a bait and switch.
I am a master baiter and a switch hitter… Ha
Uh oh.. Now you’re gonna get Trent started. A pretender to the throne. He guards that title jealously.
He can have it
I always play with my food. And I make faces in the mirror, and skip. Do you know that skipping lifts your spirits? It’s true. Probably even a proven fact. Go ahead, try it, I’ll wait….. See? You are trying hard to keep that smile from creeping in aren’t you? You can’t.
I am a firm believer in skipping… I skip ahead all the time.
No, Julie. I’m not stifling a smile at all, little Miss Smarty Pants. Get you hanky out and your “Awww,” warmed up, girl. I used to go to my daughter’s grade school and walk her home. It is only about 7/10 mile from home. We would go by the bakery and get a doughnut and chocolate milk. What 7 or 8 year-old girl doesn’t find that special. The street in front of the school is very busy in the afternoon; a lot of first shift traffic on the way home and all the other grade school parents. One day when we crossed the street to the sidewalk home, she grabbed my hand and said, “Skip, Daddy! Skip!” Well, what’s a Daddy supposed to do when his Princess daughter commands that he SKIP with her? At 45 years old, this old man skipped down the sidewalk in front of all the traffic, God and everybody. IT’S WHAT DADDY’S DO. Yeah, I’m a big old softy stuffed with marshmallow creme. You may now dab your eyes and go “Awww.”
Let’s keep that between just us. Don’t tell Art or the rest of them. I have a wise-cracking, smart ass reputation to uphold here.
Me and a few crazy male friends of mine would skip in bad parts of bad towns back in the day, just to see if anybody would say something stupid.
I can’t help it. All I can see is you and a bunch of other swabbies in your whites on shore leave ala the Village People. “Not that there’s any thing wrong with that,” as they were wont to say Seinfeld.
Dude, you totally guessed the context… it was when I was a sailor. We got tired of the way people treated us and we developed… attitudes…
Awwwww…. You ARE a good Daddy Dan! Not to worry, I won’t tell, but I think you should know that when you are that kind of person, it shows. We can tell. Even through the wise cracking smartassery. You’re a good man Charlie Brown. I mean Dan.
He does have a huge, round forehead… maybe… could it be…
DAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! (read that like I was pretending to be Grover, along with the sound of running footsteps)
ha
Exactly!
yup
Is that the best Gary Cooper ya got?
ayup
And a clap on the back.
gently
Whaaaat…. is that a rule or somepin?
In most houses
Get some new glasses….
to put beer in?
a beer1
Wallace Beery
who?
He was an old-timey actor… played Long John Silver, a bunch of other stuff…
Now you lost me, but then that isn’t hard to do!
I was moving pretty fast
no tickets now
ha
You’ve been speeding…
yup
Not through green lights i hope…
probably not
Was more probably or more not…
not probably not
then the not’s have it
the snots have it
Not the green one’s
not them
what about the blue one’s
ok… those
Didn’t you know, your suppose to save the red one’s for last?
Is that a rule
Don’t know you make the rules
I don’t know either
Can’t make up your mind…
Lost dazed and confused….
all at the same time
thats why the sunglasses
uh huh
say what colour are your eyes
they change colors
they do?
I think so
so i think
I so think
think i so… No i don’t!
ha
yeah ha ha
He ha oh uh hi
ho ho he he ha ha the nice men in nice white coats are coming to take you away! ho ho he he ha ha
uh… I am one of the men in the white coats… sorry, buddy
So when you coming to take me away, ho ho he he, to the funny farm!
I am warming up the truck
not the truck with the men in their nice white coats
Yes… With rubbing walls
not the rubber walls
rubber balls?
Now, now, this is a family program!
ha
No ha! About it true story.
I believe you
Would like to buy a bridge?
I already have two
Which two you haven’t paid for one?
who says
who said, what does who know anyway
doctor who
doctor no
doctor who?
is there a doctor in the house
no
why not
not why
now thy
naughty
bad boy blues
bbbbbbbbad to the bone
goody one
…………………………
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
that too
that to
yup
yeah
uh huh
yeah yeah
not this house
neighbours
Canadian spelling
damn those canadians
you said it… I didn’t
yeah i did, i proud i did!
ha
i did?
………………….
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
.
I know, right? Those sunglasses are weird… they’re also slightly mesmerizing. It’s like looking into the infinite gulf of the universe as a manatee nibbles on your toes…
that, sir, is no manatee… are you saying hi to anybody? are you here as an honored guest or as an actual working class minion of ignoble birth?
The ignobility of my birth is never at question, sir. Of course I’m here to work, although I do have certain tasks before me this night that will occasion me to excuse myself for periods at a time… by which I mean… schmack!
see, I stand way back when I talk to you, because I know you like to turn around really fast
I have no idea what that means. I was simply, in my earlier comment, referring to tasteful, vigorous sexual activity. My apologies for not being more specific. I shall now endeavour to indeed more specific. You see, there comes a time when a man and a woman (or a man and a man or a woman and a woman or any other combination imaginable) choose to enjoy their physical beings in a healthy, mature way. It often involves a number of fluids and associated implements, interesting and exciting costumes, and generally culminates in a rather heated moment of sweaty communion that comes with the marvellous possibility of reproduction. The locations for this eminently natural function can vary widely, and can, for instance, include spirited sexual congress while typing blog comments.
I just meant that ‘schmack’ noise you always make… what is the deal with that?
Ah, the mysteries of the schmack are not divulged easily or readily. They await, like the buried treasures of the earth, the attentions of those who are worthy to unravel them. As with all things, in time, the truth comes to us. The schmack is no different.
like the mysteries of the pink slime in McDonald’s beef?
That is a different mystery, but yes the concept is similar.
hmmmmmmmmm
In other words, Trent’s wife tempts him to get him away from the computer…..
that hussy!
It doesn’t take much…
eye contact
I know. Imagine her trying to take Trent away from us! The gall!
I don’t know where people get these crazy ideas
One day I’m going to reveal to Art that many of my comments to him are written while in the throes of passion… ha!
wait… passion for who exactly?
Ha!
answer the question
What was the question???
I forget, but that doesn’t let you off the hook
making use of her wiley feminine ways!
yeah… like we don’t have those too
She’s pretty good at it. She’s also smoking hot and I’m putty in her hands.
we all are
now now is this not a public blog?
I keep telling him
tell him louder
too rude
A man with a conscious….
I have a subconcio
where do you get one of those?
it was supposed to say subconscious but I must have hit the button
subconsciously that is
exactly
exactly subconsciously write!
write or right?
blame it on my fingers…
I blame everything on your fingers
me too
oh yeah
Isn’t that beatles song
could be
is that let it be
when I find myself in times of trouble
Isn’t trouble your middle name?
Oh… Right
right is your middle name
right smack dab in the middle
We’re playing darts now?
we always were
i’m the shit’s at that game…
not at all
you know something that i don’t..
lots of stuff… ha
maybe everything
that is deep
how deep is it?
up to my neck so far
Wait until it’s over your head….
I am waiting
you waited to long it’s gone bye bye….
Dang it
No! Is in the stands, who on second?
and I am at home
So i guess, i’m stuck on third?
you just got to third base with yourself… ha
i skipped first and second….
ha
Grade? Ha
did i go to school?
some
Some i did or some school?
both???
yeah right?
right yeah
ha
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwhe
good answer
you’re just saying that
I say stuff
like what
look around
around or just looking
no… both
both looking
looking booth
screwed up the spelling did i
I didn’t notice
displease
distopia
awe
…………………….
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
ok
KO
ha ha
Wait… What did I just type???
for me to know and you to find out!
Ha
well… I never
you did now!
oh… right
Say what?
what
No, say what!
what what
Boy, I sure hope not…
nobody can see this… we are invisible
Right then….
right now
now your right
you’re right
right then
right there
Who’s on first?
Nobody
i thought i don’t know was on first…
Are we going to do the entire Abbott and Costello routine?
Now i thought we could get sidetracked, i was waiting for your que…
I don’t have the energy to do other people’s comedy routines.
Jump on the sugar train…
are you propositioning me
Now do you think i’m insane enough for such a trick…
what about prepositioning
insane
ha
You like ha
I do
i now pronounce you…
man and wife???
Really, does she know?
I doubt it
Keep no secrets
I have none to keep
not just one little secret?
nope
keep no secrets
ok
KO your out…
ow
but not down for the count
no… too much like math
Yeah, sore subject…
tell me about it
About what?
anything
what about snow @ your place?
What about it
Do you have any?
any what?
that’s what!
ha……..
oh yeah
yeah
Yeah
well yeah then
yeah
dido…..
and ditto
and ottid
that guy?
Which guy?
the one you mentioned
Who was that?
I forget
Let’s start over.
yay
aya
way
day
pay
two days from now
deal
what were we talking about again.
that is a question
soooo
ooooos
sos
…………………………..
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
99999999999999999999999999999999
6666666666666666666666666666666
the devil you say
No such creature………
We hope
we hope or we know
both
well that was easy
was it
quick are we not
we are not
Slow poc
A poc of lips now
how many?
at least 13
The thirteenth floor?
I have never needed more than one floor at a time
How many rooms do you need at a time?
12
Ha!
yup
nop
nog
gon!
well played
Ace in the back pocket…
Ha
beat you king!
king beater!
Jacks or better!
I am much better than Jack
Is that what the queen of hearts said?
no, she said something about tarts
i meant queen,
only saying the other because of adult programing..
eeewwww… adults…
Are you a child trapped in an old mans body
precisely
i’ve got the same problem
ha
i’ve got a problem
no, really?
Now i forget, which problem?
Who knows
you know
well… yeah… I do… but who else
no-one else.
right
left
…
Now i like this one..
short and sweet
,,,,,
.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.
…ooo…ooo…
0o.0o.0o.0o.
*.*.*
good one
^^^^^^^^^^^
3*3#3*3
@@@@@@@@@
~~~~~~~~~
==================
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
good one!
(-*-)(-@-)(-*-)
(!)… ha… it looks like a butt
?taht yas
Drow
i thought i saw a puddy cat…
a pretty hat?
very could.
try it on
Once again this is a family program.
ha
He who ha, first ha last!
he who hoo haw first hee haw last
who on first?
seriously?
You’re not one of those are you?
no… I am two of those… maybe even three
possibly four
indeed
deedin
dandelion
No comments go un answered!
no good deed goes unpunished.
Yes i love punishment…
ha
you laugh now but!
I do
i would hope it’s a jolly laugh…
Like Santa
have you be naughty or nice?
I try to mix it up
Don’t forget the egg nog. Did i spell it write!
yes you did
must be the sun glasses…
yup
i’m beginning to agree within that smile…
good
now what’s good?
most things
Not everything
no
no what?
I forget
Yeah, we’ve been doing a lot of forgetting.
We have? Ha
nature of humanity
and the humanity of nature
Of nature and the humanity
humature and natmanity
rue thuma and man nattiy
oh yeah
yeah………………..
uh huh
huh uh
dont be recalcitrant
Say what?
what?
Say no more, say no more…
wink wink nudge nudge
Say is the record broken?
Still. No way to know
What’s up with that?
many things are up with that
how many things
358
why that number…
right the days of the year…
zing right over my head!
I just picked a number
one, two and three
greedy
Not me!
probably not
Then who?
good question
good? or question?
both
both questions?
yes
you really mean no right!
no… right
right no
you have the right to say no
i do
I now pronounce us husband and husband
kiss sorry about the valentine
ha
you don’t miss me
I never need to
say what?
I forget
forgot what
………………..
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
yup
Right then
right now
now
comment on post, to make sure you get the most!
yay… you nailed it!
What were we talking about?
I forgot again
Is it over now the weekend has ended?
pretty much
Sad…
Yup
what are we yapping about i had forgot?
me too
Bill Cosby…
shhhhhhhhh
i grew-up watch the man he can do no wrong in my eyes…
he did it while we weren’t watching
Question; what colour is your neck?
green with purple streaks
i was think red…
maybe now and then
i was hopping tan
that is pretty tan
you guys get sun…. awe
too much sun
Send a little our way…
If I could
what do you mean if you could
how am I supposed to know what I mean???
you know everything…
but not that
Best be learning
ok
What is it that we are trying to learn anyway?
all kinds of stuff!!!
Any kind of stufffffffffffff….
pretty much
you winked again
I had something in my eye
I like your book idea about Gad. I like the artwork also. I think it would go over with kids well, though maybe not in Sunday School. (the adults would confiscate it.)
I should send the first copy to the Pope, just to make sure
l
eye
o
l
sigh
oh my
I had some fun with your commenters, add one more to the list
Sorry there aren’t more people around right now. It sort of comes and goes.
I know, I was stirring. I’ve played this game elsewhere long ago and far away
very mysterious
Are you old enough to remember the boards with the games of tag on them?
I don’t know what that means… but I am pretty freekin’ old…
Guess you’re not old enough, or maybe you didn’t have a computer awayyyy back when? Some of the first social sites had what was called boards there are still a few around. One could post a topic or question for discussion and others would reply in the thread. We played comment games and such on those from time to time.
I was in high school in California when the very first computer classes were offered. I remember Pong…
So how did you manage to miss the boards?
Just lucky I guess
I WAS BUSY!!!!! I AM SORRY! PLEASE DON’T PEE IN MY COT!!!
there is a sign in the minion dorm that says: no peeing in the cot…or the pool
you know how it gets sometimes, in the heat of the moment, sometimes things are done in haste before all the facts are in…….
well there is that
Hey, wait a minute, aren’t the pool and the toilet the same thing??
I never thought of that… it certainly explains the confusion
Hi, Art’s Head Minion here… I take it you’re signing up for his minion army, then? The benefits are pretty bad, the food unacceptable, but you do get to aid in Art’s plans of conquering the world. He also sings to us at times. I can’t vouch for the quality of the lyrics, but we do like it when he dances, the gyrations are insane.
Bwah hahaha. They have such cute outfits and ummm the lyrics are fun
I have done a lot of funny minion picture posts… yay, Photoshop.
We made minion easter eggs and hid them all over our health club for the kiddos to find for days my dining room was a bastion of minions. I’d link you to a photo but ummm you’re not allowed to click. hee hee hee
dang it
I’ll have to see what I can do
yup
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UucCJkrhg1U
cool!!!
I put it on my page so you don’t have to be tempted to click the link.
thanks
no temptation
Bwah ha ha temptation
tell me if you can see this
that is a good one… naked minions… or do you have to go into the actual blog post to see it???
HAWT!
yes…
I am
cute kitty keep the horny guy away from her
…ooo000ooo…
You know the red one with the horns he might grill her or something
I ain’t worried
well, if you really like minions, you can always use the search button thing and type in minion… I promise it will blow your mind.
You should see the annual minion jamboree. Art stands on his magnificent balcony and rains pea soup down on us. It’s out of control.
Sounds sticky, I’ll try to bring cornbread for that one.
Please explain why I am drooling.
cornbread, pea soup all we need is some nice hot peppers and we’re good to go
Okay, this party is getting good…
Does that mean you have the peppers?
Habanero, perhaps?
My faves, I grow them in the summer, yummmmmers
Cool. I love the hot food. I cook some wild Indian food, Thai as well, and I like to go pretty hardcore on it.
Drop about 6 habaneros, 1/4 onion, a sprig of cilantro and a squirt of lime into a food processor and it makes an amazing spread to put on sandwiches
never use the word spread to Trent… are you crazy???
tee-totally
HA!
All southern gals have the crazy gene, it’s the heat
steamy…
oh yeah, I got one for all occasions
I see he already grilled you, sighhhh “poor thang” can I get you some ice for that?
I have plenty of ice
until global warming finishes kicking in
Nooo didn’t you get the memo, global warming is supposed to make it colder not warmer so you’ll be right at home in the middle of the desert before you know it. Just keep those happy feet tapping
either way I will have to move…
Moving can be fun
There is something to that
That sounds awesome… I will definitely try that (the kids… maybe not).
ha
Yes, it can also keep others from eating your sandwich in the company fridge.
oh yeah
well
I would rip the head off that thing and chew it to the bone.
wait… once again, I can’t see which picture it is… so…
I am cutting down on the spicy lately
The spicy is supposed to prevent colon cancer, y’know, that second burn and all
It is more an acid reflux thing
hot
oh yeah
Did you know in Navajo mythology, the devil has no penis? They’re quite specific about it.
funny how that stuck in your head… disappointment can be like that… HA! My next big novel is going to be the one I started back in high school… lots of Apaches, a close cousin to the Navajo… me and Mollie met some Navajo kids when we were traveling once.
That sounds interesting… what’s the general plot?
Post apocalyptic due to asteroid strike… there are these bikers that are half Apache, half Hells Angels, half special forces… based on real bikers I have partied with. They roam the old US taking tribute. Weapons slowly wearing out, returning from guns to bows and arrows… then, Slasher, the main guy, gets a head injury and hears voices… it is his own great great great grandson, living in the future where they use swords and armor… they can hear each other… but the catch is that Geronimo the Apache leader is also a relative… he found alien technology in a cave, a crashed ship, and it linked to him somehow, so only his descendants have this weird power and access to the time bubble around the ship. It is called; How Thick The Blood That Binds Us… wait… I did some posts about it… with illustrations… search for it
I love this idea. I have an idea for something similar, but different… I’m going to inhale some scotch and try to forget your idea, so that I don’t rip it off…
Mine has more catches to it. Both the heroes… anti-heroes… conquer their own worlds in their own times, but by then they have found the alien craft and its weird time bubble, and they both decide that they can conquer the time of the other. They started off decent people for times in which they live, but become power mad dictators.
Mine’s more pedestrian.
walking speed… make it so
More like walker speed.
you use a walker???
maybe
I don’t do maybe, Trent has the peppers
ok… sheesh
I am having fub… fun… thank you, little red squiggly spell check line… I love you
Ahhhhh… the spell check squiggle gets all the love…
as well it ought
She’s a harlot!
scarlet
yeah… we might have that
I worked out the peppers with Trent, we got it covered
good
poor motor control and a slack-jawed demeanor???
Also, I think I just snagged some butt hair in the door.
wow
I mean, it’s a great way to groom, but it’s awful surprising and the mess it leaves takes forever to clean.
ha
how about this
bam
You’ve got mad skillzzzz
aww… thanks
HA!
I ought to mention that isn’t pea soup… the storage tanks in the minion vomitoriums need to be emptied, and that is as good a time as any…m
Wait, wait. What created the vomit that was inserted into the vomitoriums? Was it pea soup? Say it ain’t so!
circle of life
That’s a pretty heinous circle…
nature in the wild is seldom mild, as my mom always says
She seems quite smart.
she still is
I actually do have some of my original song videos up there on the top bar… but there is no gyrating
Well, we would appreciate some gyrating actually… I’m sort of gyrating right now… various parts are gellatinizing and rotating in multiple directions… sort of countercurrent vortices, if you know what I mean (I really hope you don’t). It’s both pleasing and aesthetically-important, and I have to say, it does tickle the craw.
wrong on so many levels
Well, you’re right about the “many levels”…
yup
I’m gonna go have a few drinks and then come back here.
I am actually drinking too
Ok I’m back, been drinking
me to… and you know what? I love you man!
I love you too man! *leans drunkenly*
hey… the leaning think does work drunk… I have to redo that whole post
yep, there you go
spam
well at least it has made it easier for you to comment back
These are the times when I realize how hard it will be to ever compile this post into a book… who knows where these showed up when they went back in
They may have gone to the right places because two of my spammed comments were replies to other people and after you unspammed them, they replied.
there must be rules to all this
and like standard politics we are left in the dark
and fed shit… like we are mushrooms…
yeah and not even the hallucinogenic kind
whoa… in that last comment I got from you… there was no reply button
are you hallucinating?
Not recently
but I’m not really here, I’m only in your head
so… you’re a crack squirrel
shhh don’t blow my cover
I like they way we are both saving time by not capitalizing and adding periods… wait… I did cap the I… dang it
yeah, I tend to do all that, but with you since it’s so many comments, it is just quicker, though I do capitalize the “I” we’re efficient like that
yeah, for somebody who doesn’t comment very often, I am touched and honored that you do it so much with me
You’ve become a part of my routine.
That may be the nicest thing anybody ever said to me
oops, I broke my routine yesterday, sorry
routine breaker!
how can I make it up to you
I will think about it
ok you do that
Oh… I am…
whatever it is
whatever indeed
whatsoever, my dear watson
elementary
no sh*t sherlock
sherlock homey
Sherlock homer simpson
Simpson and Delilah
Homer Plates
Homer plate techtononics
there’s no place like homer
no place like the Iliad…
water water everywhere but not a drop to drink
Water world
it’s a water world after all
it moist be
you have a great sense of humid
Sweet… I will be damped if I can top that one…
I have a sodden urge to carry on with this one.
Don’t deluge yourself
I won’t, wouldn’t want to get you steamed
don’t be such a drip… and a wet blanket…
I’m not going to vaporize
steamy… are you going to evaporate???
after some serious condensation
how long are we going to dew this
until we begin to sweat
Let’s spray we have the strength to go on
I didn’t see that one when I first read it, I nearly mist it.
How much do I H2Owe you?
it’s freeze
Ice ay that is a pretty good price…
it precipitates the quality
I almost mist that one… I haven’t the foggiest notion how… I guess my b-rain isn’t working.
you just hit a triple, All hail Art!
dang it… I thought I won… but I lake this game… I will never say a-river-dercci
I sea you’re in for the long hall, I’m now swamped with ideas to tide me over until your next comment
I will wave as pass you by, heading for uncharted depths, and I will never drop the ball because it would ill-betide me.
typo in my last comment annoying me, “long *haul”
Ok, moving on…
Such is the ebb and flow of life, when we stream our ambitions into the ocean of possibility.
I think I just wrote a fortune cookie.
the flotsam and jetsam, the wrack and ruin, the ship founders, the lifeboats are launched into the furious sea… we sort of turned a corner on this one, dampit.
moist we always sink so low, I’m shore we’re addicted, I’m going back to bed
ha… bed of the sea… sea bed… I get it… well played… you totally hosed me, you douche… (don’t mess with the master)
I knew that would be a splash, douse the competition, we’re on the same boat, matey
don’t have a stroke… or are we having a row?
nope, it’s smooth sailing, nothing to cloud over, just going with the flow
the current situation is just a stream of consciousness
as our minds are adrift and we become submerged in thought, I’ll be dammed if we’re able to stop now
we could take the plunge and dive right in
We’ll tear right through, our thoughts drenched with inspiration
I was bit by a torrential-a once
good one, were you really though? I’m immersed by this one
ahhh… stui
sorry… I tried to reply but I had no reference point… on the regular comments in the dashboard… they are raining on my parade.
yeah, I’m ready to cry, I hate this, it’s pissing me off
(two bodily fluid puns to go with the theme)
okay… urine the lead… ha
Oh come on… That was a good one
yeah it was
wheeeeee… yay me
yay you
yeah yay me
hip hip horray
hip hop hairry
hop halle berry
Man I wish I could…
yep
That says it all
certainly does
it do
it sure do that thing
that thing it sure do
sure it do that thing
do it that sure thing
thing that it sure do
do thing sure that it
sure do it, that thing
you win
I said it, end of story
bam
badda bing
bazzinga
yadda yadda yadda
schwoop
lechayim
messhuggana
buffoon
no need to get personal… baboon…
How did you know about my purple ass?
Oh… I thought I just imagined that… HA!
You’re thinking about my ass?
I try not to… but hey, I’m only human
Well, I have a confession to make, it’s not really purple
wait… is this still about your butt? Because to be honest, I don’t really spend all that much time thinking about it.
I think you do
sigh
sighhh
that too
change of subject:
W.C. Fields: “We’ll make beautiful music together.”
Mae West: “Pity I sold the piano.”
come up and see me sometime… come up on Thursday… that’s amateur night.
when’s pro night
Like you could get past the bouncers on pro night…ha
….
should I be insulted?
Maybe a little
I call upon the forces of my all powerful ego and you cannot destroy me
lego my ego
I will not egg your leg
But will you egg it on
I will egg it on to step forward when it’s the other leg’s turn, just try not to fall
like Humpty Dumpty?
exactly! except since you’re a good guy, I’ll put a mattress at the bottom of the wall for you
That sounds kinky
well…I wasn’t going to get into that part of it yet, but…
Yet?
oops
spoo
poos
where???
not even
nope
nien nein nine
non
nope
nay
neigh
winnie
the pooh
I set you up for that one 😉
you set up all my best pooh jokes… and most of my actual poohs…
I set up your poohs? Uh…good…?
hey, as parents we have all walked that fine line between our kids either being backed up or them behaving like little Old Faithful chocolate geysers… bananas and cheese or fresh fruit… stat…
very true
yup
good morning
top-o-the-mornin’, guvna’
bob’s your uncle
no he isn’t
wot?!
watt
wit
where???
why?
Who
what?
Why
why ask why
why not ask why not???
why ask why not
Ask why why not
ask why not why
not me
who?
Doctor
it’s much bigger on the inside
Not mine… Ha
I set you up for that one, but now I want to defend myself, yet I can’t think of a way to do it without swaying from innuendo and being blatant, all I can think to say is, “inside my pants” but I think that’s too obvious, right?
What is inside your pants is in no way obvious… ha… oh man… I kill me…
Not without actually seeing me, is that why you want a photo of me in my footy pajamas?
why you gotta make my weird man crush sound all gay and stuff?
Make mine a double
and make it on the double!
I like the way you think
I like it when I manage to think
better yet, I brought you the entire barrel
Ha ha, that should last me an entire year
But we need to have a barrel of fun… so hurry up and finish it.
I give it my best shot.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fassets.sbnation.com%2Fassets%2F705393%2FSmileyDrunk.gif&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fchicago.sbnation.com%2F2011%2F9%2F5%2F2405221%2Fthis-is-why-i-hate-everything-recapping-notre-dame-vs-usf&h=193&w=239&tbnid=gWvfznKfHTUwDM%3A&zoom=1&docid=FxaJcC1gG2ipbM&ei=N7aDVLHHEcmagwS8_4C4Bg&tbm=isch&client=firefox-a&ved=0CGwQMyhEMEQ&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=1508&page=4&start=64&ndsp=21
I can’t click on those things… my wife thinks that is how the virus got on here… I promised her… what is it?
It’s an adorable smiley. She gives good advice. I have a server I run through it has a super sonic firewall something or other my techie son devised to protect us so if anything goes down it’ll be the server. Bwah ha ha
your server will be right with you…
Here’s hopin
yup
not if you bring it here to share with this lot, right?
Brilliant idea, I’m only two down and already I’m screwing up my links
I suck at links!
I made an imbed attempt … LOL FAIL I’ll try again when I am not two shots down and when I’ve had time to read the instruction manual. I’m sure this place has one somewhere, right?
please don’t crash my computer… or this post… there are so many comments that it already loads really slowly for a lot of people.
I wont post any links on yours I am not gifted in that area of commenting. You can delete that other one
no, it probably worked in the actual body of the post.
Canadian minions…
oh yeah
did that work?
I posted the you tube of my minions that went to the gym on my site with a link to your comments blog sooo you can go see if you like
wait… I will try later… I am falling behind on the comments and I pride myself on answering every one… are you seeing the minion pictures I am trying to add to the comments?
Yes, You are a man with mad skillz. Bravo! I will let you catch up
I think I made it past the hard part,,, the Trent invasion… there is a reason he is my head minion.
are you adding links? you must be screwing them up if I don’t see them. I don’t screw up links, they screw me up.
spam… and I just added some pictures from my own gallery thing in the add media post thingy… they show up in the post
ah, and I wasn’t seeing other people’s comments either, unless they directly reply to me, since you know, it’s in the archives, wordpress is not designed to make the multiple comment thing a simple task
try going to the actual post and reading a bunch of the comments. sometimes I go there and hit the reply button to talk to people, and the comments get stacked so weird… but there is some funny stuff in there
yeah I’ve read through it now and then, it is funny, but I’m kinda shy
no pressure
phew
wehp
Aw don’t wehp on my account
I have wehp-ons of mass distraction
You have more than one?
oh yeah
depending on the ladies, they probably either like that or it scares them away
that is the way life works
yep, I guess that can be said about pretty much anything.
Some ladies either like or are scared by:
dogs
snakes
Italians
horror movies
zombies
men in general
I think some men would be too.
very true, so I should add monkeys to that list
why not
ok…
and monkeys
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
having fun yet?
usually
I’m with ya
keep up
right beside ya, mate
rrrrrrrrrrrr
are you a pirrrrrrrrate?
frequently
I should have said, arrrrrrre you a pirate
yes you should
*edits Arrrrrt’s memories*
just don’t edit my mammeries
nah, they’re fine the way they are
Uh… Thanks…
I don’t know what I’m talking about
Me neither
mein ether
Me in fuherer
diese bier ist gut
das boot ist badden badden
deise boot ist braun
Picken der selffen uppen mitt der bootenstrappen
picken du nosen mit die kugelscreiber
blowen der farrtten mitt der assbutten
You have ass buttons? That’s cool.
Yup… For the launch bay doors… And the ejector seat… Their bags deploy automatically
I got footie pajamas for Christmas with the back flap, so I guess I have ass buttons too.
I want pictures… With the flap closed… I did that post about my footy pajamas with the monkeys… It was called something like: warning, this post contains some of the most disturbing images you will ever see, and when I say that, you know… I forget the rest
hahaa I’m thinking you’re not getting any pictures, next time I’m drunk maybe
Fine… but you can look at mine if you want… I then did a series about famous people in feety jammies… and then a star wars slumber party and a lord of the rings slumber party… oh yeah I did
I will. I haven’t been to any blogs the last several days. The end of Christmas break is crazy, and I plan to reblog until Tuesday or Wednesday. But I’ll be by.
no pressure
Yep, I messed up the links so I posted on my blog instead
…ooo000ooo…
ah ok well maybe I should come check it out
see, people meet new people here
yeah, are you a hippy Art?
I was… I really was
I was too, but not during the 60’s, wasn’t born yet
I was born in 1960
A decade child
at the very least
I was born in 2010. I’m the smartest 4-year-old to have ever existed.
only because my lids are no longer 4
That is true, but I lied anyway. I’m not really 4. I can’t believe you took my word for that. You’re kind of gullible, huh.
I am gullible… hey… wait a minute…
look out for the Lilliputians
and the Lilihammerians
yeah, don’t get hammered
word
words words words
in triplicate
words wor
war of the words…
the word according to garp
or carp, as the case maybe…
carp or crap, either way, but I think you’re obsessed with fish
he who smelt it… HA… see what I did there
I can’t compete with your clever retorts
well who can…???
well, I could really, I’m just giving you the glory, it’s very honorable of me, don’t you think?
yes, I do think that
good
yup
good + yup = goodyup
giddyup
gluuten open… German for hello tasteless fake bread product…
die commenten sensenachen – german for the senseless commentary
Farfeggbloggen… German for the feeling of doing a good post on a well crafted blog…
braggenblogger mit eine headachenbigensie
German for confident blogger
Bloggendoggen… Almost German for a dog with a blog
brucendern german for actor
Ha… CaptainKirken… German for starship captain.
gronkoweinskinen – german for athlete
der liederhossen… German for pants that, if worn in warm climates, will give you a heat rash that will make you want to invade Poland.
friggeinin hilarienachenbachon – german for funny guy who eats bacon
Kikken der nuttensakken… A German guy who will kick you in the balls
Ich nein liken diese mann – I don’t like this man
aufgebben mitt der hande hock… come out with your hands up…
bitte…nein, fuchen dich
Ein der hoffbrauhose mitt der schtruudle und see braunswagger…
Nein, ich habe schtruudle nicht, Gehen sie und getten mich eine bier.
Raus, mienen Kline shiesse ist nichet goot
meine kline shiesse ist sehr gut
your little shit is very good? seriously?
hahahaaa I didn’t know what that meant, but uh, sure why not, it’s great
I will take your word for it
I will too
might as well
don’t know what we’re talking about in this thread anymore, so…
how’s it going, what’s new?
I am almost back to my regularly scheduled broadcasts
I am almost there myself
So we are both almost regular…
which means we are partially still irregular
My pants are irregular
I am honored to know that bit of information about you.
I like to share
you play nice with others
I try
I do too, I think I was kind of bossy as a kid, but never a bully
I was never a bully either
although I punched kids who took my toys, and one who took my mittens, I knocked his tooth out, they were bullies to me only once
I have a history with bullies too…
What’s frustrating is the policy of schools that once a kid retaliates, then they are also considered to be bullying. When my son was starting a new school, I told him that if anyone tried to hurt him, to defend himself and get away. I don’t care about the freakin’ policy. In the real world, people can legally defend themselves equal to the threat of the attack, so why can’t kids do that? I told him to do what he had to do to keep himself safe, and I’d take him out of the school immediately if he wanted, no sense letting pride or the idea of ‘letting the bullies win’ traumatize him. They’ll get theirs in life. But it turns out that he’s very well liked and has not had to deal with that kind of thing at that school.
I had a Don Quixote complex and tried to fight the bullies… not always successfully or without cost.
I didn’t really know much about bullies or the term bully, I just thought some kids were mean, but usually had no problems I couldn’t handle.
I carried it into my teenage and early twenties years
you were the vigilante of the schoolyard
and the alley and street corner and bar and other places
If I had to describe myself as any of those things, I’d have to say I was the vigilante of the bar
the vagina latte of the bar?
nope, not that, but if there was one of those at the bar, I’d be interested
well played… just don’t get drunk and fall in
I’ll try, but vagina latte seems kind of tasty
ok you can censor this comment if you want, I won’t be offended if you delete it
delete it… I might have to tweet it
hahaaha
oh yeah
ok so I clicked my comment and I see this is on your comment here post, but I can’t see the context, I guess the only way to figure that out is to go into my comments menu, rather than just this drop down menu, but that would take a lot of time, so in other words, I have no response to what we’re talking about here
and what were we talking about here?
oh wait, that last reply didn’t make sense because I forgot what we were talking about, but I remembered after I sent it, so the real reply is:
ok
and I also reply with; ok
all right
I see your alright and raise you a yes indeed
fold
Folderol
foiled again
Spoiled a hen
then broiled it, then wrapped it in foil
and buried it in soil and let the water roil
and said, “curses, foiled again”
right before they soiled themselves and embroiled themselves in toil
all because of the moil
such a goil
just like olive oyle
oh yeah… what a lady… I did a post with her as a super model once
haha, I’ll get to it at some point. Did you see the film with Robin Williams?
yup…
I think I’m the only one who likes that film
perhaps
I’m mean I’m mean I’m mean, you know what I mean
he’s mean he’s mean
do you mean that or is it just the mean temperature
I’m singing the bluto song
until Popeye pops you one… in the eye
then I’d look like Popeye
without the forearms
that’s a good thing, we’ll just switch the image to larger biceps
that would be funny
damn, I can’t see my whole comment with this new set up, and it won’t go directly to it when I click on it, that adds to my inability to recall, so I’m just not going to make any sense whatsoever anymore
I hate this
this wicked sucks
and wicket sucks
yeah, I don’t think I can go further back than this comment, if this isn’t the first one…
and it probably isn’t
Oh yeah it goes back to the beginning, I’m ok now.
it does?
yep
oh yeah
that’s where it’s at
tell me where it’s at
Ok yeah, I fell off the Earth for a little while. So I guess I’m not where it’s at, or haven’t been.
where what is where it’s at what?
I’m here now. That’s all that matters.
that is what I was thinking.
well thank you
no… thank me
well…thank you
better
yeah
yup
uhuh
definitely
I still don’t know what posts these comments are on, do you?
nope…
this sucs
with or without the k
haha yep
wheeeeeeee
whooooooooo
meeeeeeeeeee, that’s whoooooooooooooo
nooooooooooo meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
youuuuuuuuuu wishhhhhhhhhhhhh
yeaaaaaaaah I doooooooooo
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
geronimoooooooooooooooo
a cow jumping out of a plane???
yep, you got it
I get lucky now and then
yeah me too, not as often as I used to
sigh
haha yeah…sigh…
yup
make that, sucks
ha
yep
adoodle
daddy is adoodle bug
a noodle slug
a poodle shrug
the whole kit and caboodle hug
the whole kitten caboodle
Kickin’ the strudel
licking the noodle
ummmm… no
yeah…sorry
salright
oh shit, forget I said that
I did
good
enough
better than that
no way
this is on the comment here post too, but I forgot what we’re talking about
If it counts, who cares what we are talking about
what is this plane of existence where which we speak
no… it is a plain existence…
you know, it takes so long for the comments to send, and you can sit and watch this comment that you want to change just sitting there, and there’s no stopping it…
Ha… I hate that
glad it’s not just me
not just you
we are a collective
I collect dust
I collect moss
I collect years
haha no make that a poodle rug, that would be awful
ok
all right then
yup
bring it home
bring it around town
she’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes
until we finish digging the tunnel
but we won’t tell her about that
no we will not
also on the comment here post, but I forgot who she is and what we won’t tell her
we just won’t tell any women anything then
hahaa
that’ll show ’em
oh I remember, we won’t tell “her” that we’re digging a tunnel through the mountain so she’ll still have to come around it when she comes, but why are we so mean?
Oh right… that does seem sort of petty… we can tell her
yeah, she can go through the mountain if she wants
or over it
wait… kids… did I just say lids?
hahahaa yeah you did, but I didn’t even notice, I read it as kids.
we are that good
we are good, we came, we saw, we kicked its ass
I hope people read this all again some day… we are good… we should be a comedy writing team.
maybe we should co-write something sometime, at least for our blogs
that would be a good start
all right well if you want, you can email me sagedoyle@yahoo.com and we can plot world domination
I did
oh sorry I haven’t checked my email since I responded to comments two days ago, I’ll check after I get my son to school this morning
I already forgot what this is about… so
our plot to conquer
oh… right… I think I emailed you an idea… or something
yep, I emailed you back a little while ago
you did… did I return it?
since I’ve been viewing your comments last, we’ve been corresponding a bit, do you know who you’re emailing, or do you just email random people, hmmmm
I don’t understand the question
I was asking because you weren’t sure if you emailed me or not.
I have a few times now… haven’t I?
yessiree
bob
oh buoy
bobbing and weaving
hanging ten
Or twelve
only when you need more balance
right
that’s the way the barrel gets tapped
spam
you realize your spam box is deliberately sabotaging the amount of comments you’re supposed to be getting on this post
at least I know to check it on reunion weekends regularly
true, I always sort through my spam box though mostly it’s just adds for drugs or sex
or both
yep, which could be fun or bad
or both
pro – good feelings all around
con – pros
pro con sul
lusnocorp
lustnomore
gluttonsmores
gluttenfreesmores
hahahaa good one, can’t top it
winning!
I resign myself to defeat
No resigning… just let it come to you naturally… HA!
hahaa da feet dey come
and tally me bananas
day-o day-ay-ay-o
day-old… da-a-a-ay-old
day old bread and I want a fresh loaf
a fish loaf
you truly are obsessed with fish, and monkeys
we were doing a fish bit…
well you can’t expect me to remember that, and wordpress is f*cking with my head
I know what you mean… expect no context from me for a while.
we could always just be really obscure, and if we don’t remember the context, just go somewhere else with it completely as if we’re responding to something specific, we may confuse ourselves at first, but we’ll figure it out
like clam dip and apple sauce
there you go getting at my morning stomach again but yeah, something like that
I let to wake your morning stomach up… get it moving…
turning you mean
Sure
turn turn turn
Thee is a season
tis the season
Tis indeed
an anagram for indeed is denied
I do indeed deny it
an anagram for deny is endy
An anagram a day keeps the denial away
anew daily heat (the denial away)
wen a dily hate I
They’d wean, I ail
Edwina Thigh Eagle… Or something
Ira Goldshits
Ima Golddigger
Iva Goldfinger
Mia Greenthumb
Don Spaghetti
not exactly clever or relevant but I went Italian
illigitematti non carborundum… I went pre-Italian
There… Not thee
my mind translated
Wow
it does that from time to time
time share to time share
if you have the time to share, of course
And I do
that’s rather nice of you
well of course it is
you’re a fine lad indeed
A line fad
a file nad
Is that anything like cheese grater nuts?
I don’t even want to think about that
no you do not
then I won’t
see that you don’t
oh yeah
show me the way to the next whiskey bar, oh don’t ask why
Who opened the Door? Oh man… I kill me…
I tell you we must die
spam… depressing spam
nah just a part of the song
ha
I am the Lizard King
good to know
I am also the Walrus
Ha… I call my Daughter Mollie ‘Molrus’… also ‘the Mollusk’
hahaa I call my son renaissance man
I actually try to think up new nicknames every day, but some stick because I like them.
kids are awesome
Adults… not so much
well, if we get basic in a limiting way and say there are only two kinds of adults, (which obviously it’s not so simple) there are the adults who maintain aspects of themselves as children:
1. and have a youthful spirit
2. and are self-centered, needy, whiney, and bossy
the number 1 adults are cool
the number 2 adults are…shit
the downfall of your theory is that more and more we are raising kids to be self-centered, needy, whiney and bossy… and entitled… so… uh… what the hell are we doing???
hmmm sounds like most politicians anyway, so maybe they’ll end up in office, as republicans
they will fill all roles in society sooner or later
that’s so deep
and sad
yeah, man don’t make me weep now
take a weep of faith
I am weeping in tongues as I type this
you will be seeping with the fishes if you aren’t careful…
But I make it a rule to never seep my tea with fish. …because they smell funny.
not to other fish they don’t…
People are strange, when you’re a stranger. Don’t be shy Sagedoyle! I am not wicked. I promise.
oh my
well since faces look ugly when you’re alone, maybe I better come out of the shadows and join the crowd 😉
uh… some faces still look ugly even after that
the beautiful people, the beautiful people
where?
I was talking about us
do go on
I forgot what I was saying about us, that we’re amazing?
undoubtedly
Art and Sage the Amazing Wordsmiths
why are we not being paid for being clever together???
it’s a tragedy for sure
does the world even know what it is missing?
The world is an amalgam of ignorance and hypocrisy, a collective of cognition and personality that reverberates in a culmination of self-absorption and judgment blinded by opinion, stereotypes, generalization, and superficiality. There’s my one cynical thought for the day, I made it a big one.
Someone once asked me if I knew the difference between ignorance and apathy… I told them, “Hey, I don’t know and I don’t care!!!”
well what’s the difference between stupidity and naivety? I want to know what you’ll come up with for that.
I do not know the answer, but I am completely willing to believe any definition you give me?
I have no idea. Stupidity is doing stupid stuff even though you know it’s stupid. Naivety is doing stupid stuff but being too stupid to know it’s stupid.
How’s that?
That actually works
yeah, I was pretty impressed with myself, to an extent
don’t get carried away with the self impressionism
yeah then I would come across as blurry
just little dots of color… that would be a good look for you
I wish people did look like that
get special glasses… or better acid
acid….hmmmm
those were the days, my friend
my acid trips often entailed keeping someone else from freakin’ out, or sometimes purposely freakin’ someone else out
I am an actual, official ‘acid guide’ in the Berkeley history books… an astounding honor.
really?
Oh yeah
ok losing track of conversations again
One track mind… Twelve track conversation
you got it
Yeah I do
we got it
Do we
always
ok
wonderbar
Wonder Woman
wonder bra
I had a Playtex living bra once… As a pet… I didn’t know what to feed it.
I want to know more about this.
that is pretty much the whole story
so make something up
but I have a whole blog for making stuff up… are you trying to sidetrack me???
hey look over there at that cool stuff!
that only works with shiny things
well you missed it, it was wicked shiny
Shicked whiney
that’s a drunken, sickened Winnie the Pooh
Stay away when he is like that
yeah, and don’t touch his honey
don’t touch his nut n’ honey
I want nothing to do with his 100 acre wood
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sweet…
haha I thought that was pretty funny myself
it was pretty funny yourself
clever play on words there, my good sir
I do what I can
Try to do what you can’t
I can’t
you’ve got to try, damnit, you’ve just got to
dammit, I’m a doctor, Jim, not a tryer
illogical
ha
muwahaha
hey now
*evil sage has left the building*
I think he is hiding
you may not want to turn around
I never want to
never eat in a restaurant with your back to the door
I never do anything with my back to the door… street smarts
that’s very feng shui of you
I am all about the feng shui and the fung shwei
I have done actual hits of famous batches like orange sunshine that are still legend
I got sunshine in a bag
So flaming nuts
Chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire
Best answer ever
why thank you
Why thank me?
danke bitte
you are welcommen… and I like you… but I might be dru k… drunk… where the hell did my ‘n’ go???
Now I know you were drunk when you typed that, you had the “I love you, man” thing going on.
A d those f*cki g “n’s” are always givi g me shit.
Ns are sneaky bastards
yep
beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Those are lyrics to a Doors tune right??? aw heck..
ha
I’m a little toasted… I am also a little teapot… deal with it
well if you ever need me, just whistle
wheeeeeeeeeeeee
I’m here, what’s up?
I ate a whole large frozen pizza… this is a new low
did you cook it first or eat it frozen? that’s an important question in order for me to determine how low it truly is.
spam… wait… what???
the entire frozen pizza you ate, how the hell do I remember this stuff?
I do not know
suddenly my brain is acute, I must bask in it
that is acute brain… ha
thanks! I’ve been told it’s adorable
really… not by a trained professional, I bet
well the neurologist said it was nice
Always trust a neurologist… or anybody with a ‘gist’ at the end…
sagist
It is the ‘ists’ you have to watch out for… like racists
politionists
oh… right… I forgot the ‘icians’… politicians, statisticians, musicians… that one can go either way.
sexicians
damn… I want one of those
what do you think one would do for you? nm don’t answer that, I don’t want to know your fantasies
don’t you?
Well there’s always an element of curiosity when it comes to anyone, to know things, but then sometimes what you learn, you wish to forget
I usually do forget
I forgot
me too
Yet again we’re on the same page.
yay
except a proctologist… that gist is at the wrong end.
oh yeah, haven’t seen one yet ever but I know that time will come
That time will come in the end
:I
:0
😛
()
S
oIo
mente
mentos
dr mentos
dementoid
celluloiditis
when you get sick of watching old movies… ha
oh wait, I meant the dismembered remains you had in your freezer
you know about those?
I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it here, sorry
sure… I already forgot what it was
umm yeah me too
yup
ok now what’s this thread about
are these actually about stuff???
oh right, they’re about stuff
all kinds of stuff
I like stuff
then get stuff… which is way better than ‘get stuffed’
yeah I hate being stuffed, but I also hate having too much stuff, but stuff can be a commodity
get stuffed with stuff
I will, the holidays aren’t over
good point
why thank you
yup
I’m tired, I feel like a zombie
so… sort of slimy and cold???
yeah exactly, that’s how I wake every morning
like an eel
oh wait, I remember, dismembered body parts
who used to have two thumbs and can forget dismembered body parts… this guy
who has that guy’s thumbs…this guy
Oh yeah
yep
uh huh
yippee ki yay mother f*cker
yippee ki yay mother f$#%ing snakes on a mother f%#$@ng plane!
that’s the path of the righteous man
straight down from the top of an office building being chased by a snake flying a plane???
exactly, it’s how I reached nirvana, that’s why I’m a Sage
Oh… that kind of sage… I thought you just like herbs and spices…
parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
oregano way
big rock candy moutnain
moutnain???????????? HA
hahahaa damn
wait no, I meant that, it’s the Celtic way of spelling it
I feel a-Celted
Does he like it?
not really
then stop
I can stop???
I believe in you
seriously?
yep, and I believe in the Great Pumpkin too
I believe in the exceptional pumpkin
I believe in the terrific squash
I am not a fan of squashes…
I prefer baseball
Does it prefer you?
not really, I have no depth perception
Or depth for that matter… HA
you hurt my feelings
Sorry
I forgive you
thank you, your holiness
call me Mahatma
Gahndo … That was supposed to be a cross between Ghandi and can do
ha like it
yeah… well… still drunk
proost!
Freud
frankenstein
Philistine
valentine
awwww… shucks… Constantine
Clandestine
Ron Epstein
and buttered!
oh yeah
Oooooo…. I will toss back some drinks right now… I’m a remarkably efficient drinker but a sloppy typist. The two things do not help each other, at all.
I am sloppy all the way around
Yes yes, we know that already, commadante. But that is why we love you.
well…
I’m a great typist but a sloppy drinker
oh man… you got spammed 14 times… it happens sometimes when you do a lot of comments
😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 – 14 sad faces
(;-}) (:-}) (:+{) (;=[) (;>})
sideways totemole
>:)=
Vampire
(:————- }) long nosed tiki
*O_______I dead guy
Ha… that looks like you did something unspeakable to a corpse,,, and didn’t have the guts to type it… the NSA is so going to be all over you
That’s what happens when emoticons mess with me.
They should know better
bastards
I might be one of those
I’m not, but my son is….in the denotative sense.
dang it, I forget what this is about
a bastard, he was born before we married
oh… well, I am adopted, so the odds are…
ah ok, I knew a family who had adopted two children and they’d celebrate the day they brought them home every year, “happy adoption day”, I always thought that was cooll
Remind me to do a post about how I found out I was adopted one of these days.
You’re asking me? I barely remember yesterday.
we had a yesterday???
Did we have a tomorrow yet?
soon
but tomorrow never comes! just when I think it’s tomorrow, it’s today!
are we doing Bond movie titles now?
Ok here’s a positive thing, if I click on my comment, even on this post, it goes directly to your comment, so that’s an improvement. Before it wouldn’t do that for this post. Now we can *remember* Anyway, Bond titles, that was an accident, but if you need me, I’ll be at the casino royale, with Daniel Craig, not David Niven.
I have no idea what you mean about the clicking thing, but yes… a Bond comedy was uncalled for… although the way that Woody Allen followed his head around when he walked was comedy gold.
Well I see my comment above yours in blue, so it’s a link that goes directly to the post and directly to the comment.
And yeah, Woody Allen was good, but right there, Woody Allen in a Bond film, really?? Even as campy as Bond can get, that’s not camp. And it had the thing about the 16-year-old girls two which was pretty sick. They couldn’t make that movie these days.
nor would they want to
hey! the comments are back to the archive bit, that’s relieving
I saw that… what’s up
wordpress confused itself, maybe…?
seems only fair
yeah!
Yup
I don’t know what we were talking about so I’ll just ask, did you have a good Christmas?
I did, did you?
Damn, I forgot I asked you this yesterday and I just asked you again hahaa. Glad you did, mine was great, thanks. Though it seems to have been a much more hectic Christmas than I’ve ever had. That’s no complaint, I have a great family and I’m thankful and fortunate for that.
I feel the same way
yet again, I repeat, tis the season
To be jolly, Roger
a right jolly old elf named roger claus
with a black beard…
wearing long johns
And drinking captain Morgan spiced rum
sounds like a party
A boarding party… Because … Pirates… Oh yeah
a real booze cruise
a you snooze you lose booze cruise that left a bruise… on my shoes…
but look out for the floozies
I like my floozies in onsies and twosies
but threesies are more fun
threesies are squeezies
threesies with sleazies
Well hell yeah
well not these days haha
Oh boy
I don’t remember what we’re talking about here
Me too. Neither.
so any new year’s resolutions?
to be unresolved … oh man… that is a tweet
you’re a dedicated twitterer, impressive
If you mean I am still doing it, yes
I can’t even remember the last time I tweeted something real
no… you do not
how do you know? can you read my mind?
yes… I can… and the plot mystifies me…
yes, it would, muwahahaaa
good answer
I’m prone to good answers now and then
prone is a good position for you… and I mean that in the ‘policeman telling you to lay down and put your arms out’ way…
you’re a pervert
true… but not in this case
ok, sounded perverted to me, never mind then
I guess… if you really like getting arrested…
nope, never mind, where were we?
something about proning you out
why would you want to do that to me
I don’t… but cops do
I take the fifth
…bottoms up, and then that’s why the cops put me in a bottom’s up position
that reminds me of a bad joke
a lot of my jokes are bad, I’m kind of corny, you’re probably beginning to realize
corny and flakey… you are a serial ceral
I am totally okay with that. We don’t discriminate in here!
no we do not
I feel so loved
get a room
I’ve been in those private chat rooms, it can be scary
I… got nothing
I behaved
I beehived
I behooved
like a demon?
yeah it was sheer pan-demon-ium
Like Christopher Walken in that Peter-pandemonium?
I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription, is more cow bell
Did I mention that my daughter ex boyfriend, who does a mean Christopher Walken impersonation, might read a chapter from one of my sci-fi books and record it… I might do something with that.
hahaa I was reading the Harry Potter books with my son a while back, and I said I was going to read like Christopher Walken, we were laughing so hard, but decided that the reading was going too slowly so I didn’t do it for too long
due… we are so simpatico.
this…watch
ha… typed ‘due’ instead of dude…
I saw that, but I try not to point out people’s mistakes, well, that’s kind of not true, it’s a habit of my family to laugh at each other when we mispronounce words or say the wrong words
When I am having fun I rarely proofread my comments but I often spot a problem even as I hit the reply button.
yeah, typos in comments suck, in fact, as I was writing, I accidentally typed cuck instead of suck but I didn’t leave it because I noticed it and you’d think I did it on purpose, then it would be contrived and not funny and now my response is too long to be humorous or witty and…..
I agonize over whether or not to fix all the typos if we ever make a book out of all this… it would change too much…
yeah, once you’re citing a context, best to leave the typos in, but instead of doing [sic] after a mistake, we can do
uh…………………………….
yeah, we’re sick
and twisted
and shouted
are we back to dancing again
shake it up baby
owwwwwwwww
ok maybe you shouldn’t shake it up
or off… ha
yeah no shaking it off, I thought this was a family friendly blog
how about shrugging it off…
that’s better than turning the other cheek
It can be
I will turn the other hemisphere, my brain is dysfunctional at the moment
Did I answer this one already?
I’m not sure. But anyway, did you have a good Christmas?
I did, and I hope you did too.
I did, thanks.
Yay
yay
shhhhh… don’t tell anyone I met the doobster… and I’m drunk…
I think you just told all your followers.
Nobody comes here that often unless we have a reunion
So we can pretty much say anything we want then.
Well, they come back sooner or later
So we can pretty much say anything we want then. 😛
no… no forking… control yourself…
Sometimes it’s hard to control myself from forking
yeah… that used to happen to me all the tine… oh yeah… top that
I am often on top when I fork, but not all the time
that is the ladle of the cradle of civilization… or something
the wick of the candelabra
The hot wax of the burning candle
I’m trying to think of a reply but only inappropriate things are coming to mind for some reason.
Just as well
Yeah, you don’t want to know the inappropriate things that enter my mind.
I don’t???
Well, maybe you do.
maybe
good morning
morning
fishy fishy fishy
and it went wherever I did go
we are all lost souls swimming in a fish bowl… or a toilet bowl
just keep swimming, swimming, swimming
against the tide
go against the grain
wheat or barley
wheat, don’t go against the beer
I will hop right on it
are we going to brew up are previous interchange?
no… it is too steep…
damn, I said “are” instead of “our”, my mind is tapped
drained, even
I can be such a drip, I prefer to be flooded with ideas rather than to be dammed with only a trickle of thought
that won’t wash… I need a drink… liquid courage
Shit, the comments sunk back to that weird way, I can’t absorb all this change so easily. This is a wash out.
I know… I can’t even get to the older ones
How would I be able to scroll down without a touch screen?
oh wow
What sort of comments count, and what would be disqualified by Guinness? I mean, can you just leave a punctuation mark, such as a period or exclamation mark?
Such as this:
.
*
Art, please stop typing in anuses.
just bleach it out… ha
This makes no sense.
*************************
Know what you call that up there?
no
Snapping assholes?
dude
A long line of snapping assholes?
sounds like someone was in a fraternity in college…
Schmack! (hint hint)
oh lord
or this:
!
Or how about a spacebar space?
Such as this:
they all look the same to me
maybe
yup
()
I do this a lot; …ooo000ooo…
What does that mean?
It means I like to type: …ooo000ooo… many times… or are you asking what the actual literal meaning of that is? Because it means a few things… and it might mean more now that I have been drinking… all by myself…
Drinking alone is OK. It’s often less embarrassing
Not the way I do it!!! HA! I am glad you are here. I am going to go onto my comment post and do a drunken rant!!!
Will anybody see it? Maybe you should do the first part in a new post and link to this one …
No, we do this all the time… this is where Trent, my long lost head minion, did his epic attempt to woo and seduce himself.
I saw that. So maybe …
maybe indeed
I have to agree with you there, Elyse.
Is that because you’ve drunk alone or because you embarrassed yourself. Alone.
ha…
Life is so confusing.
especially here…
Only because of the crack squirrels.
maybe
Definitely
are we sure
Positive. What were we talking about?
oh, who can remember?
A bit of both? Hang on, let me chug some wine. This sobriety thing is getting on my nerves.
ha
It’s spelled “Ha!”.
I am drinking another ‘bag’ of the go go juice…
Um, exactly what kind of bag are you drinking from? Drink from a bottle like the rest of us!
I found these old daiquiris in a metal foil pouch… we used to bring them camping before we got the hand cranked ice blender for margaritas.. ..
Oh my gosh, and you’re drinking them????
yes
dude… I was all alone… and getting drunk… I was just getting ready to cut loose with some old school ranting on the comment post… just me…
Duudddeee… that’s unacceptable… but rant away if you feel like it, of course.
I can’t now, I am falling behind on the comments
What, are you fingers atrophying from dis-use or something? Get on it!
you pick the ones you want to answer… I have to do them all…
That’s how come we love you.
right… doesn’t mean it comes easy
Nothing comes easy. Except… schmack!
stop… just say no to schmack… there are no schmack squirrels
hey
oh yeah
If you’re telling me that’s how you’re getting drunk right now, I’m getting on a plane.
I forget which picture that is… oh… the boob girl with the drink cups… heck to the yeah… that’s how we roll
That is so awesome…
good business model
Well, that entrepreneur lady must not have much for natural boobs, or she has to refill often, AND who wants a warm margarita?? blech!
We do not think of her as a model… only a business model… as that, she is something to be kept abreast of.
I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself
Read more: George Thorogood – I Drink Alone Lyrics | MetroLyrics
…ooo000ooo…
…ooo000ooo…
you mean like that one I just did with nothing in it? I doubt they looked at all 10,000,000 comments on the blog.
Darn, when I tried a spacebar space I got an error message. Guess I’ll have to actually type a real character.
Like this:
~
there you go
?
hit the enter button to leave a blank comment
That would be a lot of work, but okay, I’ll try it.
Here goes:
Nope, no luck. Gee, and after all that work.
well dang it
Where goes?
ha
I’m ready
I’ll try again.
Nope. Why do I keep trying this? I feel like I’m beating my head against a wall.
and you are leaving marks on the wall too
don’t hurt yourself
ok
We USED to be able to leave blank replies by hitting the space bar a couple of times… but WordPress figured it out and shut us down. I think we should take them down, those cruel, heartless, blank comment-hating tyrants…
no revolts tonight…
But sir, the minions are revolting!
they aren’t that bad
Yeah? and your mother dresses you funny!
shhh… he picked those out himself… he was so proud… the matching underoos were a nice touch
sorry. He started it. He called me revolting.
some people got no class
There’s no doubting that.
I like the little ruffled collar… don’t see those much since Shakespeare died…
Although I don’t think a streaking suit classifies as “dresses”.
It does with that flaming torch protruding so jauntily from your rectum… and the way the flame blows back behind you like a rooster tail when you run is just breathtaking.
Here’s one more comment for the cause. Are we there yet?
we are somewhere
What comment shall I leave?
it is all about volume
So I should say the word volume?
say it loud… ha
VOLUME
that’s better… but don’t shout… that’s just rude
VOLume?
now the accent is on the wrong syllable… HA!
VolUME?
yes…
Glad I finally got it right..
I am getting a little drunk… bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Ha. I’m just having a glass of wine.
daiquiris
Yummy!
hickory dickory daiquiri
Have I told you lately how crazy I am about you?
Ha are you drunk?
I said I was
You so are
I are so!
because I am, you know…
even though you wouldn’t even let me see what you look like when we did that skypy thing
I did so
you didn’t even let me look at the dog
You didn’t see Lowryder?
you never turned your camera on!
yes i did
I don’t think so
Yo yo Masta Z, whatever you bring, you gotta bring rap-style holmes.
oh lord
Yo yo
Masta Z
Rapping in
The beaver tree
I say, beaver tree
Beaver tree
Beaver tree in the house
Eating a great big Christmas mouse
Chomping on those bones
Whiskers getting stuck in my phone
Gotta chug some whiskey yo yo yo
Get rid of this taste of rodent toe
I say beaver tree, beaver tree
Knocking it out the apiary
I say buzz buzz buzz, buzz buzz buzz
A-hole bees giving me attitude, cuz
ha
I’m gonna get me some Art
I’m gonna tear a minion apart
Gonna put rubber on my soles
And a stopper in all my holes
Then I’m gonna rap up the street
Get naked cause that’s pretty neat
Swinging around my minion meat
Hey ladies, want some minion treat?
I say minion treat, minion treat
So shiny, fierce, strong and sleek
Got a red nose on its pointy beak!
I want to do a post while I am drunk
Welcome to my life…
ha
Oh. My. God.
don’t encourage them
hey, it has a certain beat to it, no?
it need to be beaten
Word
What should I leave
der’s no comment reprieve
talkin and chattin
wid no end in da site
tell wad to say
it’s late in da night
I need to get some zzz
stop buggin me please
Arthur…
Word up Trendy Trent Rappa Lewin
oh yeah
Word, Masta Z.
…………….
To add some culture to this cultural blog…..I give you “Fart” in the languages of the world:
Language Phrase Meaning
American English queef pu**y fart
Arabic Wald Dhroot (used in oman) Son of a fart
Arabic egyptian Ommak Fasya Your mom farted
Arabic syrian drat fart
Arabic syrian darat farter
Asturian Farton Fat ass who can’t stop eating
Austrian Futschas a fart from the c**t
Azeri Osturmag To fart
Azeri agzuva osturum fart in you moth
Bavarian Schas Fart
Cantonese lau fom pei you old fart
Creole (Mauritian) trou du pete fart hole
Creole (Mauritian) Peter Fart
Creole (mauritian) Lavra fart+hole
Cypriot Villo portia Dick fart
Czech prt! fart!
Georgian Gaakwe Fart
Gilaki ker gooz Dick Fart (Stubborn, thug)
Greek Na mou klaseis ta’rxidia May you fart on my balls
Gujarati poom poom big fart
Snorkel Dive Belize
Snorkel Dive Hawaii
Air Over Africa
Gujarati pim pim little fart
Hebrew nod fart
Hebrew Fal-tzan fart (fartist)
Icelandic “Prump, Fret” Fart
Icelandic sonur prumps son of a fart
Italian vai a farti fottere go f**k yourself
Italian Vai a farti fottere, puttana! Go f**k yourself, whore!
Kazakh Ausinga osyraiyin fart into your mouth
Konkani paadu fart
Lebanese foss gas fart
Malayalam kushukk fart
Malayalam vali fart
Malayalam kuch fart
Marathi tuzi aai padli tuzya tondat your mother farted in your mouth
Marathi tuzi aai padli madkyat your mother farted in a bowl
Marathi Paadar Gandichya Farty Assed
Mexican Boca de pedo Fart mouth
Montenegrin Ne prdi Dont fart
Neapolitan Loffa Fart
Nicaragua Cara de pedo Fart face
Air Over Europe
Air Over Asia
Air Over Hawaii
Pokemon I’ll thundershock you with my Raichu I’ll fart in your face
Portuguese Peido Fart
Portuguese (brazil) vai peidar! go fart!
Preppy bitches F Mayor Smelly Fart
Punjabi pad mar do a fart
Punjabi Pud Fart
Pushto puskie silent fart
Pushto goezaka a person who farts alot
Pushto goez fart
Quebecois Mange mon pet eat my fart
Russian Perdet’ Fart
Samoa ai kaepu eat fart
Samoan kaepu elo stinky fart
Serbian prdneš mi na kurac (prdneh-sh me nah koorac) you fart on my c**k
Slovak prdiet to fart
Tamil kusu koodhi Farting cunt
Theri vali vaasu farting man
Turkish Annenin osurugunu sikerim f**k your mom’s fart
Turkish amina osuray?m fart to your pu**y
Ukrainian Perdyee
Urdu peasah nah mahr dont fart
Uzbek o’siroq Farter
West-vlams eje e ruf geloatn? did you fart?
Yiddish Ku Fartzer c**t eater
Zombie *Zombie Fart* Your mom was good last
well, I certainly feel that we all learned something valuable from this exchange…
Although, technically speaking, since I do try to keep this blog, if not family friendly, at least a place of respect for all types of people, maybe we could avoid discussing farts that have their origins in any place other than the generic rear end. I mean, a little fart humor is always good, but no sense skating too close to the line, right?
Maybe, but you gotta give the guy credit for his research.
Oh, I did
Hence the bleeped out words…..its the person who sees the word “pu**y” and views a dirty word that you have to worry about. The actual word is Puddy, meaning the fart that comes from the bubble freshly made pudding produces…..what word did you think I meant?
right… and who was the spokesperson for Jello… that makes pudding… yeah Cosby… I rest my case.
Now that is a list
it is the naughty and the nice list… all in one…
I’ve been on the naughty list for over a year now
that sounds more like bragging to me… I spent most of my life on that list
I was almost a good girl for a good long while, almost
yeah… me too… HA… I kill me
Oh… my…. god…. the comment thread has finally evolved to the next plane of existence… we are now educating people!
didn’t we do that at least once before???
Actually, you may have a point there…
yup
puy
psssssssssssssssssssssssssssha
Fart part 3: The Search for Spock
Fart part 4: A New beginning
So many comments but what are we really saying?(hows that for making you think? Did I just blow your mind? Yeah, I know I did…….its cool, just keep on keepin’ on man……cool….ok then…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..fart.
There have been so many mind-blowing comment threads on here… it may seem like it is just farts and giggles, but we have done some really weird stuff… someday, I might try to compile it to make a book out of.
When your farts get to part 6, see a doctor immediately
Pfart
Okay, okay. I’m here again. Comment number 36,278. But not all from me, of course.
Oops. 36,228. Okay, 36,229 now.
Damn, it’s hard to keep up. 36,231 now.
madness
it is like the number keeps changing on us
not yet
But you were the first, Doobster! Head Minion here, decorating you with a medallion for your auspicious achievement. Yes, it’s a shrivelled up shrimp, and yes, that’s a rusty thumb tack. But it’s all Art gives us! And…. I just ate the shrimp. Also the thumb tack.
That’s pretty, um, tacky of you, Trent. ~ Ba da bump ~
he has an unblemished tack record
Oh Doobster…
could be worse
Could be better too.
no
Could be a butter tart?
could be
Or perhaps a buttery tart?
even better
now that is true minioning if ever I saw it
I am totally hardcore, dude.
liked the pornography???
Oy, why you gotta always take it to that level???
me?????????????????????????????????
Well, I wasn’t talking to myself. At least this time.
bazinga
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! hahahahahaha!! AND WHO DISCOVERED DOOBSTER WAS THE ORIGINAL COMMENT??? Huh? Who? Was it the head minion? Noooooooooo. No it was not! Twas I! julie minion in charge of …… stuff. Really important stuff!
But can you figure out a way to go back to the first few comments and cut and paste them?
whaaaaa??? Um. well I… is it getting hot in here?? (or is it just me? bahahahahah)
uh…
Ah crap… just for that, Julie, I nominate you as Head Minion in Charge of Latrines… the last person to occupy that post had to clean up a toilet clogged with one of Art’s more generous deposits… he hasn’t been seen since, the poor guy.
yeah… like I use the minion latrines… have you seen my private apartments?
Okay, I fell for your trickery… I just want to be a part of this history-making moment! I’ll be sooooooo disappointed if this doesn’t work out……
well, how will you know if it doesn’t work out exactly? I mean, they might write about this part of history after we are all dead and gone… we just have to hope they are kind.
This is totally going to work
Everything is part of history when you think about it
mmm hmm
yup
Trickery???? This ain’t trickery, it’s history! Okay, maybe it is a bit trickery… or a lot. Wait, I’m pretty sure this is all a sham! But some of us minions have left hundreds, perahps thousands of comments – it totally sucks you in!
Trickory dickory, doc
I’m a doctor!
you play one…
No, I played one…
like a fiddle?
befuddle
I bet
annnnnnd I commented so where is the prosecco??? You got some cheese maybe??
There is a full imaginary buffet table right over there under the pretend party lights… by the make believe full bar, just past the fantasy bowl of oatmeal with blueberries and banana slices… oh… wait… the oatmeal is my breakfast… that’s real… please don’t eat that…
Wait a minute, how come us minions get the week-old shrimp and the lawn clippings???
Because its a party…
It’s not a party without Julie!
hey now…
You know it’s true…
do I
It’s so hard to tell sometimes… but I want my Julie!
me too
YAY!!!!!! I was starting to get sad that no one missed me!!!! I mean, I am sorry you missed me, and I am sorry I missed the party…. I hate watching you guys have fun from outside the window, you know??
I like to play too you know!
we do know
we sent out the Bat signal… a bunch of times
Oh, i thought that was just the full moon….
only a little bit
I should have known by instinct. You know a full moon always brings Trent to mind….
Well he has that hairy werewolf back…
Are you kidding? I was waiting for you to show… JUUUUUUULLLLIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is all about timing
Careful what you ask for
yeah… the snacks might be left over from the last party… or come from the minion cafeteria
mmm hmmm
seriously
Psssssttt… check the expiry date on anything you eat in here…
can’t buy new food for the lair until we use up the old stuff
But but but… some of it’s like years old, and the mold on it has sort of morphed together into a gellationous ooze that occasionally slurps up a minion… it’s getting harder to get people to go in there!
You mean the ‘secret sauce?
There is nothing secret about your sauce, man.
doh
Dude, gross.
ha
What did I miss?
I am still trying to get a buzz going… I mean, some hype… traction…
Isn’t the anniversary coming up?
Ask people to wish the post Happy Anniversary. Or what they’re asking Santa for …something …
this got spammed too… but those are good ideas
I probably sent too msny all at once
doesn’t seem like it, but you know wordpress…
36,150, I do like a round number!
bam… me too
Do I hear 37,000?
the next logical step
Is a 37,000 step, which is way more complicated than a two-step!
ahhh… this got spammed for some reason
Pffftt… child’s play.
We’re you some sort of counting prodigy?
more like porridgey
What the fuck IS porridge anyway? I had it once in Ireland and it was wonderful. But it is different from oatmeal and other hot cereals.
there ain’t no ‘fuck’ in porridge… seriously, there ain’t no fuckin’ porridge… HA
I WANT PORRIDGE!
I can’t afford that…
Why do I even hang with you, Art?
pure love… ha
Pure I sanity, more likely.
I sanity? Is that like an I phone???
Yes. But there is a “delete” button.
there is???
I can count both forwards AND backwards…so… yup.
no you can’t
It’s true, I can’t! Why??? Why???? WHYYYYY????????
I forget
I’m practising my countdowns…
going into space?
One more bottle of wine should do it…
right
this is so old school… I can’t keep up.
Pfffft… child’s play.
dude
It’s pronounced “duuuuuuude”.
do not presume to tell a dude from California how to pronounce dude, dude
Duuuuuuuuude….
close enough
I’m back. Sorry I couldn’t participate in the party last night, but I was busy garnering accolades from my 15 minutes of local fame (here’s a link, under the picture, to my story about the SPCA adoption of #PuppyCody: https://twitter.com/cordeliasmom/status/540876740009013249/photo/1
Or, you can just search Twitter for #PuppyCody (I checked, and it does work).
If you haven’t read the story, and aren’t too drunk to do so, it’s apparently good enough to have been retweeted by the local radio station (woo-hoo). My sincerer thanks to you and Julie, who convinced me (on this very post, yet!) that I should think about having a Twitter account.
The story’s been retweeted a few times – maybe I should try for the goal of Most Retweeted Personal Blog Post – wanna help with that?
That is awesome!!! And the party lasts all weekend, just so you know.
Oh, I am so in. But first, I must do my newest PuppyCody post while the iron’s still hot, as they say. Be back in a bit.
look forward to it… and the post
Hot off the presses – you get to see it first (aren’t you special?!):
wait… I am there
And I’m back for the party. Let the wine-pouring begin anew!
Anew you would go straight for the wine.
[wincing and shaking head]
So does anyone even remember what started the whole chain of [how many now?] comments? I’m not going through them all to find the first one.
well, obviously I started it, but that is a good question… maybe I can dig down there and do a post about the very beginning… awesome idea…
That would be an excellent idea.
And then you can get to the part about when Cordelia’s Mom made her first appearance! (I never, ever miss a self-promotion opportunity.)
I’m sure people are waiting breathlessly
Well, I know I am, anyway.
ha
Ahem. I do believe that particular question has been investigated sir, Doobster holds the trophy for first comment. (see? it was so long ago it was even before “frist”)
I do not always remember everything people say to me… just ask my wife…
YAY!!!!
yup