Welcome! Please feel free to help yourself to the free snacks in the lobby. If you plan to explore the deep, dark swamp that is this blog, please bring some water… and a rope, flashlight, flares, a spear gun, rubber boots, a helmet, a breathing filter mask, and a map of the emergency exits, located near the door to the basement.
Also, if you wouldn’t mind, bring a pencil to mark down on the map where the skeletons of other lost souls are if you should happen to see any.
I can’t explain what it is I do here on this blog… the crack squirrels in my head do all the real work… but I will say that whatever you saw that made you want to hit the follow button in the first place… well, I may never do that same thing again… unless you tell me you want me too… and maybe not even then.
I often suggest to new people that they should scroll back a few months and just look at the pictures and titles, just to see if they really want to stick around. Or, try typing random words… weird words… into that little search bar thing with the picture of a magnifying glass. That could be fun.
Pouring My Art Out 
Do I have to do those things you suggested, to have fun here? I don’t think so.
No, but some things make more sense from the beginning… I just can’t get people to read all my posts from the start any more.
I assume that nobody is reading my posts from the start, including me.
I still re-read my stuff… I crack me up. And I cheat, I am reposting them all again… slowly… like a drip line feeding plasma into your veins…
What a pleasant metaphor. I am learning from you, however, regarding self-regard. Thanks!
I regard my self-regard with unguarded regard.
How come we can regard things… when did we ‘gard’ them in the first place?
I am regularly rendered relatively reflective, wondering about “re-” words like that.
I repeat my recent recounting of remarkable reflection with relatable redundancy and reliable rectitude, by regurgitating resplendent responses to reusable requests and recycling religious refurbishments of renowned recording artists who rectify reasonable re-releases.
Now I know why it took you so long to re-ply to my comment.
sigh
Actually, I respectfully restate my previous comment. I see that it didn’t take you long, at all. Well played, sir.
And I didn’t use a dictionary…
Excuse me. I had to go through a lot of comments to get to this comment box. What’s going on? I hear on the blogvine that you are like the number one commenter for 2013? Is that correct? I wonder why? I mean, you’re normally so shy and reserved. Well hats off to you, you dear somber man. Lucy in the sky with diamonds (if only).
Turns out that I can’t shut up… who knew?
Should we warn the new people? Or is it too late?
The new people are fine… it is the old people who are rioting.
I’ve just flipped over your tray of vol au vents
Well… that’s just rude… what the heck is that, anyway???
The prawn filled vol-au-vents you laid out for your guests? Well I hope they were vol au vents as I ate one
Cock roaches are related to prawns, right? They are like their land-roaming cousins… right?
Why don’t we eat them I wonder?
Well… I think you just did…
Is that like a vole pie?
A vole pie?!?! What do you think we eat over here 😀
Nobody knows… and my family comes from there. I know it killed those two fat ladies… so…
Only one fat lady is dead right? Or did I miss ones passing. That would be sad, I loved those motorcycle and pillion riding chicks
See… pillion… nobody knows what that is… I assume you mean sidecar?
That’s right
I am just that good.
Don’t let him have pitch forks and fire!
Ha… too late
uh oh!
yeah
I’m bringing walnuts for the crack squirrels. They get hungry with all that thinking. I’m going to give some to El Guapo and Elroy too. I hate to see grown bloggers cry.
Bribe them… smart idea.
We have standards and we do not capitulate!
Are you speaking on behalf of the crack squirrels?????
I am speaking on behalf of oppressed and neglected beings everywhere.
Then you should be speaking somewhere else… I take care of my followers.
Perhaps I should run for office, apparently I “misspoke”.
There will be no Miss-poking around here!
Well thank you! You are kind to think of us, walnuts will give us the strength we need to rally for the cause- tofu pate and antioxidant, free radical free, cocktails that produce the desired effects without the undesirable consequences, ha!
Wait, are the nuts for the squirrels… or for the other nuts… Ha… I kill me…
Hey. I didn’t get any snacks when i followed.
Hmph.
Yeah, the food has been in short supply ever since I arrived at this party, what gives?
Right? It’s like he’s taking us for granted.
I say we toilet paper his reader!
Excellent idea! WE are special too and snack worthy!
THIS BLOG IS UNDER SIEGE UNTIL WE GET PROPER SNACKS!!!!
(Anyone makes a move, and the stats counter widget gets it!)
Yeah! What he says!
I LOVE a good diabolic plan.
I think that would be ‘diabolical’… but what do I know?
I was in a hurry, you could fix it!
I could… but I am busy holding the ramparts against a sea of angry, hungry serfs… serfs up…
Damn straight, we’re hungry and nobody will feed us, serfs up and the gate will come crashing down!
Ride the wave of public opinion then… I have boiling oil… in a fondue pot…
Oh please again, yeah your NEW friends ate all the fondue!
It sucks to be popular… I never considered the overhead… the hidden expenses… the extra work… the stress… I feel like people are watching me all the time… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh… get ’em off…
Oh no, they’re all yours, you gave them fancy treats and snacks while EG and I were starving to death, we can’t help because we’re weak and malnourished.
I am not offering to give them away… that would be wrong… but if the strong eat the weak here, well… that is sort of how life works on your planet… not saying I agree with it, just pointing it out…
We may be weak but we are also clever, your cute new friends won’t be eating us, ha!
It might be sort of fun to have a free-for-all fight-to-the-death contest to see who is worthy of following me! I am going to pull the gladiator gear out of the attic… be right back,,,
You know my crack squirrels are attack trained, right? You better be wearing a cup…
Sadly, because of my surfing in freezing water, it fits a little loose right now.
I’m sure it’ll be fine if I ever warm up…
So it’s a shot glass…???
Oh man… I kill myself…
I find this revolt very revolting.
I will have you know that there are snacks… left over candy from a few Halloweens ago… in a big bowl… behind the like button… over by that swarm of small flies…
Fresh snacks! Fresh snacks! Fresh- C’mon people, pick up the chant! FRESH SNACKS!
Occupy Art has begun.
The candy bars are right there… most of them are not even past their expiration date… and my sci-fi novels have a character named Candybar… so either way I get off on a technicality…
Oh. Well then…
*Wanders off in search of stale chocolate…*
You are as grumpy as a squirrel with a nut allergy…
Now you’ve done it!
WE DEMAND ORGANIC GLUTEN FREE FRUIT, DISTILLED INTO A FINE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE, AND SERVED WITH TOFU PATE!!!!
I am the only one who holds this blog hostage with unreasonable demands while throwing a hissy-fit-temper-tantrum!!!
Are you people trying to start a riot?
We ARE a riot!
You are running amok… and besmirching the good name of my blog!
Oh please!
You are welcome… I mean thank you… stop trying to confuse me… more…
It’s a bribe
The kitchen is closed
well pft
The crack squirrels have lots to do.
Brilliant deduction! We know how he is, of course it’s a bribe. I feel much less slighted, thank you!
we are so on to him! lol
YAY for US!
Do you think he knows it? 😉
I know nothing!
eavesdropping again…
Yes… I actually read my comments, even when they are to someone else… on MY blog…
but evesdropping…
I didn’t fall out of the eaves… I fell off of the roof.
well roofdropping then
It’s MY roof.
possibly 😉 It sounds to me like there’s a takeover going on..
I just ignore these things… they blow over sooner or later.
maybe but…maybe not 😉
Until people show up at my actual house with pitchforks and torches, I feel fairly safe.
mawhaha!
what?
mawhahaha
I heard you.
pardon?
You did the creepy evil villain laugh twice…
uh huh
uh huh
Wow… you outsmarted me… you should all be so proud…
and loud, we are the champions, my friend!
It is like you outsmarted a vole…
better a vole than less cute critters.
Notice how the cuter the animal is, the less likely we are to eat it… but they can’t be too ugly either.
We don’t want to be saddened or scared by our food.
No we do not!
No you’re not…
yes we are
so you say
yes i say
I said you say.
I could give out free cars… they would be as real as the virtual snacks… I would be like the Oprah of the blog world!
Well they aren’t out in plain sight… I can’t lose money on this operation… or maybe the crack squirrels beat you to it.
that’s it, buddy. You’re on notice.
SNACKS!!!
Fine… I will make some fondue… does anybody have any pitchforks and torches… HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know right?!
sigh