This is getting to be a bad habit. But I want to do another one of those posts where we talk about stuff… even though I hope we aren’t done talking about the last one I did yet…
Here is my question for the day. Why is it so bleepin’ easy to be judgmental? This post is brought to you by the part of my brain that sees other people doing things that make me want to walk up to them and tell them how much they suck. But it isn’t just that. There is the hypocrisy aspect too.
Let me start over. I was smoking a cigarette in a public place yesterday. There was a guy there doing the same thing. They had one of those weird new ashtrays that look like a really tall flower vase or a chimney of some kind. It doesn’t matter. The point is that the guy was sitting within arm’s reach of an ashtray and he still threw his cigarette butt on the ground. Inches from the ashtray. And then walked off without even stepping on it.
And I almost called him on it. To be fair, the not stepping on it part really bugged me. There are huge fires in California all the time. A lot of them are started by cigarettes. But the littering bothered me too. It was just so lazy and inconsiderate. And as I felt my righteous anger building, I had to get it under control.
But it hit me that in my life I have thrown countless butts on the ground all over the world. Yeah, I always step on them and make sure there out. But when there isn’t an ashtray around, that is what people used to do. It is only in the last ten years or so that I have been more careful about this wanton polluting of the planet.
But this just got me thinking about all the things I see people do that piss me off. And I often can’t keep from saying something to them. Because I am huge, so what are they going to do? You can easily get into the mindset where you look for people doing things that annoy you just so you can feel superior.
The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I am no saint. I have done bad things in my life. And even on my best day I am self-centered, self-serving, self-absorbed, and selfish. I don’t do as much as I could to be better, to be more helpful, to make people’s lives better.
The weird thing is that there really is a certain amount of joy to be had judging other people. It makes you feel a little better about your own failings. Maybe that is something that we should all talk about, think about. I know I am going to try to spend more time judging myself and less time judging random strangers who don’t live up to my expectations.
On the other hand, if I see you doing something really stupid or obnoxious, I am still going to say something… that’s just who I am.
Pouring My Art Out 
When you know better, you do better – as Maya Angelou says. You may have made mistakes in the past, but you learned from them & know you try to do better. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to teach other people something they may not be aware of. Maybe this guy doesn’t realize how many forest fires are caused by cigarettes or how much pollution is caused by butts. I didn’t know about it until a few years ago myself. I remember the days when you used to empty your car ashtray in a box store parking lot if it was too full rather than finding a garbage bin. I believe we all used to think cigarette butts were biodegradable & wouldn’t cause the problems they do. Just think how good you would feel if you taught someone something you learned.
True, but I have always been against littering in general.
My pet peeve is not putting up the shopping carts. It is just rude to leave them all willy nilly in the parking lot.
Nobody’s willy should be all nilly…
I’m not going to judge you for judging other people. I do plenty of judging, too, and occasionally for the very same things I also do myself. In this situation, you could politely ask the man to throw the butt into the ashtray – and because you’re huge, he’d probably comply. But if you’re polite about it, it shouldn’t feel like bullying.
I know I had to do the same for a couple of people who didn’t clean up after their dog. And there were situations when I haven’t said anything, and then judged myself for it.
The dog thing drives me crazy. If someone lets their dog do it on my lawn and don’t pick it up, I follow them to their house and put it on their porch.
You’re a better man than me, then. I just ask them to clean up, and if they don’t, well, that’s usually as far as I would go.
I can be something of an a#*hole. I try not to be, but it does happen.
I definitely have the same problem.
We need a support group.
Yeah, AA – Assholes Anonymous
We need shirts and coffee mugs first.
Oooh, hot topic!
As a fellow smoker I am very considerate of my smoking. I move well out of the way of advancing children and kids in buggy’s. I never stand in a bus stop, just do my best to be as far away from others as possible, not easy in London. I know people don’t like it so try and limit their intake of it as much as possible, but that’s just good manners to me, like putting your hands over your face when you sneeze, which many people don’t and always riles me.
I always find a bin, if not I have a portable ashtray I got in Australia which I stub it out in, I hate littering and people always drop stuff near a bin, drives me insane too. And I live by Regents Canal and I can’t abide people chucking their beer cans in the canal, won’t someone please think of the moor hens 🙂
I plan on quitting fags next year too, my new flat doesn’t have any outside space so since I don’t smoke indoors I will have to quit. I do a bit more with each house move. Years ago I would be smoking in bed with my ashtray on my chest last thing at night and in the morning. The next move it was banished from bedrooms and just in the lounge, but the stains on the wall from 6 people smoking was gross so the next house and last 5 years I only smoked in the garden. My imminent move will be the next progression to stopping altogether.
People eating on public transport is a main gripe, it’s disgusting, and is never something as inoffensive as a sandwich. I regularly see people trying to eat spaghetti on a tube, or curry on a bus. Who is THAT hungry that they couldn’t have eaten in the establishment or waited til they got home? No one has that little time to stop to eat and enjoy your meal.
And AB, please stop picking your nose.
Why do people keep saying that about my nose? What am I missing???
Haha Nothing! I like how it caught on though
sigh
you like playing jokes on people?
Did you not read my practical joke posts… I used to take them way too far.
Yeah, this was tame in comparison.
I do not suggest people ever use me as an example of anything…
You SAID you weren’t going to think so much. Ow.
Please don’t spend more time judging yourself. Other people already judge us constantly, because they have a certain amount of empty space in their brains for useless bullshit.. The last thing we need is to judge ourselves.
I should know. I judge myself more harshly than anyone could. It’s why I only have 3 blog entries.
Yes, do stop picking your nose.
I do not think so much as fake my way through a few clever questions and then trick you all to do my thinking for me. And why is everyone talking about me picking my nose???
*sly grin on her face*
maybe…you should visit my blog and find out…
Okay, as you can see from the last post I am back. I have been busy… I mean I still am, but I will try to pop over.
I don’t smoke. Smokers pollute in so many ways. I used to, and threw butts all over.
I am going to quit after Christmas.
You can’t set dates. You just have to do it.
oh
Can you stop picking your nose?
uh… no…
why?
why what?
i’m not sure anymore.
I get so lost.
where are we?
Who knows.
you’re supposed too
Well I don’t.
Le sigh
ha
Looking down on others with righteous condemnation is one of my favourite things to do too. Of course, I don’t get a chance to do it often. It usually happens the other way around.
That is the funny thing. Too people can look down on each other and both be right.
I agree. What about the novel?
Which one?
The one where I drive…
I am going to finish it, but not by the end of the month.
Then it won’t be NaNo anymore…
True… it would be MeMo
I don’t get it…
I don’t either.
God, the irony is just killing me. Anyway, peace brother. Peace is the goal.
It’s killing me too.
I’m not being judgmental, brother. I am calling you out for your lapse of judgement, however. I won’t judge you. Why would I? But I do struggle to understand where you’re coming from. I don’t really get it. And that’s fine. As I said, trying to understand where people are coming from brings us closer to them, and if not that, then at least it makes fodder for some stories. You’ve certainly given me that.
Sometimes I just come from rushed, un-thought-through stupidity.
It’s all good.
yay