Some of you… and I am not mentioning any names… have taken my comments about taking over the world way too seriously.
As with so many of my amusing little ideas on this blog, my flag posts seem to have stirred up trouble in unforeseen ways. The idea of creating a flag so I have something to fly over the roof of my palace once I achieve global domination was never meant to imply that I was actually going to physically assume control of the entire planet.
Nobody, especially me, wants me to be in charge of anything, let alone a whole planet. This blog is the first thing was ever in sole control of… and look how that has turned out. Also, I am lazy. And on top of that, I don’t really need to take the planet over, because as you may recall, I already had an election and was voted into office as supreme ruler of all the universes… due mostly to low voter turnout… and then there was a revolution instigated by those pesky Canadians, and I did say I would retain my title but take a less active role in actually running things. And I have, but I am still legally the big cheese.
What I am really trying to take over now is the e-world… the blogosphere… I want my blog to take over the world. I want every single living being with access to a computer or any electronic device that can surf the interwebs, to follow my blog.
Okay, I admit that is a lot to ask. But you wouldn’t be required to do anything but stop by for a few minutes a day… maybe make a comment now and then… that wouldn’t be so hard to do, would it?
Here are some reasons why I think everybody on Earth should read my blog:
1. It is funny.
2. It occasionally makes you think… even if you don’t really want to…
3. It is quite harmless, and has no side effects.
4. It is free.
5. It keeps me busy so I am not out wandering the streets where some of you might accidentally meet me in person.
6. There are lots of funny pictures to look at.
7. The more time people spend here, the less they have for doing bad things… I’m talking to you, politicians… and murderers, terrorists, perverts, thieves, televangelists and telephone solicitors…
8. It is the most convenient place to buy my funny science fiction book, because you can just click on the picture of it at the top of my sidebar and it will take you right there…
9. I have original songs to listen to, if you click that button in the top bar.
10. You can learn all about my life… and trust me… that might make you feel better about yours…
11. If you don’t keep the crack squirrels in my head busy they might breed and spread out and end up in your head next…
12. Because I am asking you nicely.
13. Because I am doing all these posts whether anybody reads them or not… so you might as well…
14. Because every now and then I have a brilliant idea.
15. Because you might just end up loving me.
Pouring My Art Out 
Best reason of all: 5. It keeps me busy so I am not out wandering the streets where some of you might accidentally meet me in person.
I would come by here more often except you post 40 times a day & I don’t have time to read that many posts from just one blogger because then I couldn’t follow any other bloggers.
Well… who needs other bloggers?
When it happens, how will we know?
Things will get better… that’s how…
in Canada?
Everywhere… peace will reign throughout the lands, and the birds shall sing, and stuff.
Nice anthem.
There will also be candy and rainbows.
Well, certainly the children will adore that.
That’s really all I care about…
#15… Now how could anyone know that from the start??
I am just warning people that it is a possibility.
Good idea…
Only fair.
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spread the word…
I’m sorry, but I don’t love you. I like you, but you’re asking too much that I should love you. I mean, really… how can such an expectation be anything but a pipe dream? It goes without saying that if time and space itself could be altered, then perhaps, I cou ….
Naaaaaaaaaaaah.
I mean love you love a pet hamster… nothing serious… you don’t have to buy me flowers…
😀
I will read you forever if 11 never happens…
If 11 never happens… that needs to be a song or a book or something…
I’d be okay with you taking over the world, actually, and I am actively campaigning for you to take over the blogosphere. But I do have to object to your condemnation of perverts. I mean, we’re not all bad, are we?
I don’t condemn them, I just want them to spend a few minutes a day doing something clean and pure… like reading my blog… you do, and look… it hasn’t hurt you… much… think of it as an alternative perversion… if you must.
I wasn’t worried
Then I did it wrong… let me start over…
Point 7) I really don’t care for the implication
Point 10) True dat
But what really clinches it for me, when deciding to follow you is Pnt 5.
Seriously though, I’ve enjoyed MOST of your posts. However, I comment more on your posts than all the other blogs I follow combined. May be I should look to diversify. The other blogs are getting antsy, what with all the talk about flags. You already know I like your posts. I don’t have to keep hammering away at the keys. Hence forth, you may take my enjoyment for granted. My likes will tell you I haven’t lost interest.
These are more just exercises in shameless self-promotion. I know they don’t change anybody’s mind about me in any way. But you might be surprised how often these thing lure unsuspecting new followers from the bland and dreary WordPress topic walls.
I should take a leaf from your book, ye cunning posterior o’er wrought mine being. perhaps ye take pity and follow this lowly knave’s blog.
Well see… I might just do that… I think I just did.
You have made a wise decision my friend. prepare to be amazed. OMG. I’m starting to sound like you man.
I would be worried about that if I was you
I am not you, but I’m still worried. you have an overpowering magnetism like Ron Perlaman. Actually, you look like him too. Naah. it was just a phase. I’m over it.
I have a face that always reminds people of someone else’s face… but I must admit Ron is a first for me…
😀