I went into the kitchen to make my coffee, and there was this scorpion on the floor getting ready to fight with a… what the heck is that? A big ginger root?
This may be the weirdest thing I have ever seen, and I have seen some weird stuff. Oh no, wait a minute… they aren’t getting ready to fight, they are gazing at each other longingly… Please tell me they aren’t going to…
Oh that is just sick and wrong. I hope your kids didn’t see that. I am so sorry. I swear this isn’t that kind of blog. I have never done any animal/vegetable porn before, and I just hope that you can forgive me…
But they do like they are enjoying themselves, and they are both past the age of consent, I presume, so… uh… what a venomous creature and a tasty root do in the privacy of their own home… wait a minute… this is my house! Get your disgusting little behinds out of here. Go on, shoo…
Okay, I admit that this was all my idea. It came about because of two unrelated events. A couple of months ago Aunt Sharon… you may remember her from the pictures of our camping trip where we made the tie dye shirts… found the dead scorpion in the laundry when she was taking the wet clothes out to put them in the dryer. It must have been in the pile when she tossed it in the washer, so glad she didn’t get stung. This is one of the joys of living in Southern California, which is technically a desert. Remember the rattle snake that came into our house last year, right?
This week my wife and I were shopping, and one thing we were going to try is a ginger chicken recipe. As soon as she picked up this ginger root, I thought to myself, ‘hey, self, that looks like a lobster’. I figured maybe I would Photoshop something funny along those lines. But this morning I remembered the scorpion, which Uncle Bert had given me in a little box so I could… well, I don’t know what he expected me to do with it. But I guess now we all know.
Sorry Ed Hotspur, that I didn’t get this romantic Monday post done on Sunday like you wanted. You don’t have to add me as a link or anything. It isn’t really all that romantic anyway. But it did make me laugh.
Pouring My Art Out 
Ginger or finger
which one gets faster or linger
scorpion was a scapegoat
the real idea was the…float 😉
More or less
right or wrong
who got soft or got long
question is…why post :))
for laughter i suppose
You are on fire, my friend!
😉
…ooo000ooo…
awesome! so much of great art is in the set up. good keeping your mind open for this type of ‘landscaping’
The hidden pathways of romance are no secret to this traveller…
Giggle, giggle 😎
Sorry about that… I always cross the line…
You needn’t apologize — I love your sense of humor!
Thanks again. But I am going to try to stay away from animal/vegetable porn from now on, I promise.
You are a sick and twisted individual. That’s what I like about you.
That’s what I like about me too.
Ladies! Please! Minnesota does too have poisonous snakes! The timber rattlesnake and the massasauga otherwise known as the swamp rattlesnake. Iowa (which is also cold enough to freeze dry your lungs) has four: the timber rattlesnake, the massasauga, the prairie rattlesnake
and the copperhead. Wisconsin has two too; the timber rattlesnake and the eastern massasauga rattlesnake. And as far as spiders, there are more than 60 that have been known to bite humans and cause medical problems. The Northern Widow, which is a relative to the Black Widow, the Brown Recluse, and the Common Sac Spider all three do in fact live in the Midwest and survive nicely in spite of our bitter extended cold season. We do not, however and quite luckily, host scorpions who are a great deal more aggressive than our spiders…nasty ill tempered bits of nightmare that they are! Okay. I’m done with today’s lesson. LOL.
And OMG. The whole time I was scrolling thru this post, chuckling at the pics, this cheesy, funky bow chick a bow wow song track popped into my head and kept playing…it just fit with the story line perfectly….
We are learnin’ stuff now… oh, yeah!
Gingerfightback!
I thought of that… you… when I was doing this.
Cheers!
I think you won this battle.
Naturally
Ha.
Laughing at the faceoff and pics after.
That is all that I live for.
Wow….that just brought back memories. I was stung by a Scorpion in Texas….some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt. After I got medical attention, we put it in a jar and tormented it until it committed suicide by piercing it’s own head. It was a scary few hours of losing feeling in my fingers and lips, but a great story to tell since I’m still here!!
Wow. Those Texas scorpions must be worse than the ones here… but I never have been stung by one, just going on what I have heard.
Definite owwie!!
That is a good story though.
I haven’t bought ginger for a while. Now I can’t tell if I should be happy about that or run out and buy some right now.
It only counts if it looks like something else… an animal, or Jesus…
Ooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh Jesus. You knew I’d like that one, didn’t you….lol. I feel a ginger competition sparking inside my belly.
I can always just Photshop mine so there is no way you can win this one.
You forget I have Photoshop…?
Oh… I guess I did… so bring it! This is a showdown…
But I have no ginger…duh.
With Photoshop and Google images, who needs ginger… except for cooking…
and smoking. Well, I mean…you, not me…
I never smoke ginger… too spicey…
No. Really. We say that stuff.
Here’s another one that I’m trying to avoid. My computer is running slow today, but I’m not telling anyone who calls in because you know what they’re going to say? “It’s the weather.” Yes. My computer knows it’s cold outside. Definitely.
Ther pipes freeze up, the computer slows down… makes sense to me.
okaaaaay . . . .
I admit I am a computer moron.
True. I have heard that.
It isn’t a secret. I do posts about it all the time. I ask the questions that other people aren’t stupid enough to ask…
Jean, EXACTLY!! Lol no scorpions or venomous snakes live where it’s -20F. Our California cousins have no idea how safe it is here…
Safe??? -20 can kill you you… scorpions are just a bad bee sting, at least the ones we have. Okay, the snakes are a little scary…
One of the sayings you will hear up here is “There is no bad weather, only bad clothing.” Another one is “Cold enough for ya?” The reply is, of course, “You betcha!”
You just stole that from Garisson Keeler…
Well, true. But it’s warm inside. I have my thermostat set at 60, which felt cold until I did the math…that’s 80 degrees warmer than outside.
And my sister has a tanning bed lol
It is hard to argue with that logic…
You sound like my sister.
I sound like everybody’s sister… sigh…
You might wanna have that checked…
I have… there is no cure… I am just that sensitive…
Thank you. Thank you very much. We have a windchill right now of between 25 and 35 below zero. Why can’t they pin it down closer than -25 to -35? Because they don’t have to. It’s just damn cold, and that’s all you need to know. I actually get a brain-freeze just breathing outside!
HOWEVER, this is the first time today that I have thought, “Gee, I’m so glad I live in Minnesota!” I have never had a scorpion, much less a rattlesnake in my house before, and have no reason to expect it.
Did I say thank you?
What you need to warm you up is some hot, steamy romance between a poisonous insect… are scorpions insects or not?… and a spicey root… is that what you are saying? Because if you are, this might well be the only place on the planet where you will find that.
They are an arachnid! I am have arachnophobia! Hand over the ginger root and keep that 8-legger outta my house! We do have ginger root up here in Minnesota, by the way. Also coincidentally (or not? hmmmm…..), there was a spider on my bathroom wall, but I didn’t find it until I was mid-stream! Talk about scaring the piss out of me . . . !
Ha! I didn’t know spiders could live in those tempratures. Do they have to stay inside to stay alive?
Well the ones inside MY house don’t stand a chance!
We have spiders in the wild, too, so I suppose they hibernate or something??? Good question. It’s a long walk if they are migrating . . . but with 8 legs, they could always let 4 rest while the other 4 are walking.
That is a scary thought, but kind of funny too.
Dude! Look what I learned today! http://www.burkemuseum.org/spidermyth/myths/comein.html
I just learned that some people spend way too much time thinking about spiders… ha!
Just trying to stay one step head of them, that’s all . . .
Know your enemy…
The Art of War on Spiders.
Eight legged freaks.
Would the stinger still be “live” if the creature is dead?
I doubt it would inject venom, but I’m not going to test that theory.
I feel safer on these shores. I did go to Australia but then never saw anything creepy. Just their birds are really noisy
Australia is crawling… and swimming with things that can kill you…
Hah! I am so glad it is dead, I was freaking out for a minute. And what a spectacular piece of ginger, you must be able to enter it into some kind of competition where they judge root ingredients that look crustaceans.
I was looking for one that looked like Jesus or Mary, but…
Lobster > Jesus
Ha…