A romantic Monday post… whoa… what the heck is going on here???

a 1I went into the kitchen to make my coffee, and there was this scorpion on the floor getting ready to fight with a… what the heck is that? A big ginger root?

a 2This may be the weirdest thing I have ever seen, and I have seen some weird stuff. Oh no, wait a minute… they aren’t getting ready to fight, they are gazing at each other longingly… Please tell me they aren’t going to…

a 3Oh that is just sick and wrong. I hope your kids didn’t see that. I am so sorry. I swear this isn’t that kind of blog. I have never done any animal/vegetable porn before, and I just hope that you can forgive me…

a 4But they do like they are enjoying themselves, and they are both past the age of consent, I presume, so… uh… what a venomous creature and a tasty root do in the privacy of their own home… wait a minute… this is my house! Get your disgusting little behinds out of here. Go on, shoo…

Okay, I admit that this was all my idea. It came about because of two unrelated events. A couple of months ago Aunt Sharon… you may remember her from the pictures of our camping trip where we made the tie dye shirts… found the dead scorpion in the laundry when she was taking the wet clothes out to put them in the dryer. It must have been in the pile when she tossed it in the washer, so glad she didn’t get stung. This is one of the joys of living in Southern California, which is technically a desert. Remember the rattle snake that came into our house last year, right?

This week my wife and I were shopping, and one thing we were going to try is a ginger chicken recipe. As soon as she picked up this ginger root, I thought to myself, ‘hey, self, that looks like a lobster’. I figured maybe I would Photoshop something funny along those lines. But this morning I remembered the scorpion, which Uncle Bert had given me in a little box so I could… well, I don’t know what he expected me to do with it. But I guess now we all know.

Sorry Ed Hotspur, that I didn’t get this romantic Monday post done on Sunday like you wanted. You don’t have to add me as a link or anything. It isn’t really all that romantic anyway. But it did make me laugh.

About pouringmyartout

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72 Responses to A romantic Monday post… whoa… what the heck is going on here???

  1. kalabalu says:

    Ginger or finger
    which one gets faster or linger
    scorpion was a scapegoat
    the real idea was the…float 😉
    More or less
    right or wrong
    who got soft or got long
    question is…why post :))
    for laughter i suppose

  2. EM Vireo says:

    awesome! so much of great art is in the set up. good keeping your mind open for this type of ‘landscaping’

  3. You are a sick and twisted individual. That’s what I like about you.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Ladies! Please! Minnesota does too have poisonous snakes! The timber rattlesnake and the massasauga otherwise known as the swamp rattlesnake. Iowa (which is also cold enough to freeze dry your lungs) has four: the timber rattlesnake, the massasauga, the prairie rattlesnake
    and the copperhead. Wisconsin has two too; the timber rattlesnake and the eastern massasauga rattlesnake. And as far as spiders, there are more than 60 that have been known to bite humans and cause medical problems. The Northern Widow, which is a relative to the Black Widow, the Brown Recluse, and the Common Sac Spider all three do in fact live in the Midwest and survive nicely in spite of our bitter extended cold season. We do not, however and quite luckily, host scorpions who are a great deal more aggressive than our spiders…nasty ill tempered bits of nightmare that they are! Okay. I’m done with today’s lesson. LOL.

    And OMG. The whole time I was scrolling thru this post, chuckling at the pics, this cheesy, funky bow chick a bow wow song track popped into my head and kept playing…it just fit with the story line perfectly….

  5. 1jaded1 says:

    Laughing at the faceoff and pics after.

  6. Wow….that just brought back memories. I was stung by a Scorpion in Texas….some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt. After I got medical attention, we put it in a jar and tormented it until it committed suicide by piercing it’s own head. It was a scary few hours of losing feeling in my fingers and lips, but a great story to tell since I’m still here!!

  7. hiddinsight says:

    I haven’t bought ginger for a while. Now I can’t tell if I should be happy about that or run out and buy some right now.

  8. Jean says:

    No. Really. We say that stuff.

    Here’s another one that I’m trying to avoid. My computer is running slow today, but I’m not telling anyone who calls in because you know what they’re going to say? “It’s the weather.” Yes. My computer knows it’s cold outside. Definitely.

  9. pajarigirls says:

    Jean, EXACTLY!! Lol no scorpions or venomous snakes live where it’s -20F. Our California cousins have no idea how safe it is here…

  10. Jean says:

    Thank you. Thank you very much. We have a windchill right now of between 25 and 35 below zero. Why can’t they pin it down closer than -25 to -35? Because they don’t have to. It’s just damn cold, and that’s all you need to know. I actually get a brain-freeze just breathing outside!

    HOWEVER, this is the first time today that I have thought, “Gee, I’m so glad I live in Minnesota!” I have never had a scorpion, much less a rattlesnake in my house before, and have no reason to expect it.

    Did I say thank you?

  11. joehoover says:

    Would the stinger still be “live” if the creature is dead?

  12. joehoover says:

    Hah! I am so glad it is dead, I was freaking out for a minute. And what a spectacular piece of ginger, you must be able to enter it into some kind of competition where they judge root ingredients that look crustaceans.

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