If lovin’ me is wrong, I don’t want to be right… but this is so wrong… on so many levels…

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I know… believe me, I know… none of us will ever get the image of me leaning in and planting a sloppy, wet kiss… on my own bad self. And the really sick part is that I tried to slip myself some tongue…

I just want you all to know that I did this in support of all my gay friends everywhere… and because, well, come on, man… it is pretty funny…

Posted in My art, my weird moving pictures, Pictures of me, thinking about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Once again I am reminded how much cooler kids are than adults…

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Uh… what is that, I can almost hear you asking me? That, my friends, is a bowl of ice cream… a mix of ‘cookies and cream’ and ‘mint chocolate chip’… with some Goldfish cheese crackers thrown in. And that is what reminded me of how cool and creative kids are, and explains the title of this post.

Last night I got to hang out with a really awesome young lady. She is either 5 or 6-years old. I forget which. They told me, but I suck at numbers. Anyway, this kid, whose name and picture are withheld for obvious reasons, is a girl who my younger daughter, Mollie, often babysits. But Mollie had too much homework last night. So I got to hang around with the small human in question.

Kids love me. They also amaze and delight me. We had a really good time. She read my monkey book to me… that is the children’s book that I wrote and illustrated… available right over there in the sidebar, if you were wondering. We had the dog do her tricks. We drew some pictures and played some games.

And then, after pizza, this sweet little marvel of the culinary arts invented that dessert up there… a dessert so unique and innovative that I just felt like I had to share it with you. Which I just did.

Posted in Stories of my life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Wait… three teenage girls ran away from home to join a militant extremist group?

This is shocking news. You are telling me that teenage girls would be willing to put down their cellphones for long enough to join a jihad???

Okay, this isn’t really a joking matter at all, and we can just skip over the part where we all wonder how bad their home lives must have been to make this seem like a good idea. But this is also truly confusing on so many levels. I mean, I can sort of see the appeal of this kind of thing to young men. Guys who were raised in a culture of video game and movie violence. Guys who think guns and bombs are cool and are acting out against society.

But teenage girls? Have they thought this through? Joining a culture that doesn’t exactly achieve high marks when it comes to how they treat women. A culture where fashion really is limited to picking outfits that cover everything but your eyes. No makeup… no fancy shoes… no shopping… no dating… limited bating opportunities…not a lot of fast food options… what am I missing here?

Either these young girls were just woefully uninformed about exactly what they were getting themselves into and they just fell for some smooth recruitment campaign, or they really were leading some horrible lives. I mean, I hope those are the two choices. Because more and more young people from around the globe are doing this. And we need to figure out why.

And if it turns out that these young people really are converting to Islam and they feel the calling so deeply that they are willing to lay down their lives, or at the very least, give up everything they have going for them in their lives, the sooner we figure that out, the better off we will all be. Because a lot of young people won’t put down their cell phones long enough to finish their homework  or clean their room, let alone run away to another country and start their lives over in an unknown and hostile environment.  So obviously we aren’t offering these kids something that they need. And we should figure out what that is. Because the ones who can’t actually fly overseas to join these movements are going to be living right here beside us, and they are just going to be waiting for the spark that lights their fuses.

Posted in thinking about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

You’re welcome…

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Now I promise that I am done making fun of Dick Cheney… for today…

Posted in cartoons, Dick Cheney, funny famous people pictures, My art, my weird moving pictures, thinking about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

What, you might well ask, does another picture of me making fun of Dick Cheney have to do with the attacks in Canada and the general state of the world today…

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Well, let me tell you. Old Dick there, he is the guy who decided that it was okay for America to torture prisoners. This was a fundamental change of everything that Americans held to be honorable and decent. We fought the Nazis in World War Two… we didn’t behave like them. We were better than them.

Dick Cheney took away our moral high ground. And he did it in places that we had no reason to be in the first place. This led to huge amounts of ill will against us and our allies, a hatred that is still festering today, leading to even more enemies rallying against us and all who stand with us.

In short, Dick shit all over this country, our values, and our friends.

And I guess I am still a little pissed off about that.

Posted in My art, thinking about stuff, funny famous people pictures, Dick Cheney, dogs and other animals | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Dear Canadian followers… and all you Canadians who just randomly stumble upon this post while looking at the WordPress topic pages… you can read this too, if you really want to…

I am so sorry about the horrible events that took place in your beautiful country today.  And the bizarre hit-and-run thing that just happened. I am in no way making light of these occurrences. But this is a humor blog. And I do feel the need to point out one thing… and that thing is this:

What makes these already horrible things even more horrible is that they sound more like things that happen in my country. Maniacs with guns… or cars… taking lives. Whether the perpetrators end up being extremists with a religious agenda… or a political agenda… or if they just turn out to be mentally imbalanced individuals… I wish with all my heart that your country could continue to be as unlike my country, when it comes to things like this, as is  possible.

I mean, seriously, the Mayor on crack was bad enough.

There should still be a few places on earth where peace and civilization still flourish.

Posted in thinking about stuff | Tagged , , , , | 21 Comments

Ahhhh… stop telling me how badass Chuck Norris is…

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The only reason you think that is because he never went up against my buddy, Conan the Barbarian!

Posted in cartoons, Conan the barbarian, funny famous people pictures, thinking about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments