So, when the gas pump tells you to remove your bank card quickly…

Does that mean you are supposed to just stick it in and pull it out right away, or does it not matter how long you leave it in there, as long as, when you yank it out, you yank it out fast?

These are the kinds of things that me… And the crack squirrels living in my head… Worry about.

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If I could grow a beard that looked like that, you know I would…

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Just sayin’…

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Evolution revisited…

monkey with sign

Just something to think about…

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France sticks it to the terrorists by welcoming refugees…

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While American governors… (mostly the republican ones, I am happy to say)… cringe in fear at the idea of a few dangerous people mixing in with the refugees, and refuse to allow them into their states… (which is weird, because they don’t actually have the power to refuse them, and even if they did, the refugees could just enter the states from any other state anyway)… France plans to welcome the refugees with open arms.

I hope the people of France realize that the picture up there… where I stuck my head on Napoleon’s body… is meant as a show of respect, admiration, and love… because I don’t stick my head just anywhere.

Posted in funny famous people pictures, My art, Pictures of me, thinking about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

My books… a quick overview…


  1. Saloon At The Edge Of Everywhere… book one of The Otherwhere Chronicles… It is about me, sort of. But not this me, a me that lives in another dimension. Oh, don’t worry, the other me is still lazy, irreverent, sarcastic and full of himself. But he works in a Texas-style saloon on an alien space station as the janitor, and somehow gets caught up in the action when alien space pirates hijack a space cruise ship. Against all his instincts, he and his crazy band of human and alien poker buddies end up saving the day, and the whole thing is broadcast live all over the entire universe, so now he is the most reluctant hero in the history of that or any other dimension. ($7.95- in Earth money- in this dimension)
  2. Down To Earth… book two of The Otherwhere Chronicles… So naturally, being a reluctant hero, our hero decides to evade his newfound fame by returning to the Bay Area back on Earth to visit his… my… mom. And that is when I… he… finds out that the whole alien space pirate thing was set up by this huge, nefarious,  intergalactic corporation, and then he has to fight a hand-to-hand combat duel against an alien mercenary that looks like a two-legged hippopotamus… but see, this whole time I… he… has one advantage because he found ‘the memory stone’, which is this ancient alien artifact used by The Giant Flying Pickles… (not the real name of the alien race that has been around forever and reseeds life into the universe after every new Big Bang)… and it helps him learn stuff because it is a repository of all the knowledge of the GFP’s… but it isn’t supposed to work on anybody but them, except it turns out that Humans are the first species ever to evolve naturally on their own with no help, but it sort of has a crush on me… the other me… and teaches me how to fly alien ships and fight duels and lots of other stuff… and, see this is why it is easier for you to buy the dang books than for me to explain them to you… but, long story short, I… he… ends up saving San Francisco from being vaporized and then me… or he… and all of his alien and human friends end up being put in charge of the corporation by the President of the United States, whom we… they… saved. Got it? ($7.95 in human money)
  3. Walking Around… book three of The Otherwhere Chronicles… And this is where it starts to get crazy, but once again, I… he… isn’t happy about being the hero to billions of life forms all over the place, because, once again, the whole adventure in San Francisco was broadcast live by these floating white balls called ‘The Reporters’… that might be a living species or might be an advanced technology of some sort, nobody really knows, but they like to broadcast interesting things, and interesting things seem to happen to Arthur Blacke… (that’s pronounced ‘Black’, just so you know)… so of course our hero leaves the corporation in the hands… and tentacles and whatnot… of his friends, and goes back to the alien space station and decides to take a holiday. He wants to do a walkabout around the entire Hub, which is the name of the space station. And that is where he learns that things are going to get more interesting because the giant corporation… that he is now CEO of… was a front being used to prepare his  dimension for an invasion from another dimension, and so I… he… ends up being hunted by a vat-bred alien killer with poisonous fangs in the palms of his hands, and then is chased for a few days by two relentless alien lizard warriors, and almost gets chopped into bits by two sword-wielding humans wearing tie dye. And all this happens between a lot of funny adventures and meeting lots of crazy aliens… and at the end I… he… gets coerced into being the Supreme Commander of the combined… but very unimpressive…  allied fleet that is supposed to stop the huge and very intimidating Black Fleet that will be showing up soon… (in book four, which is already written but not yet edited and in print)… not bad for a guy who started off as a janitor at the beginning of the story. You can think of this series as Doctor Who meets Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, if you want to. ($7.95 of your… our… dollars… and printed on real dead Earth trees).
  4. I Like Monkeys… An adorable book for young children that I wrote and illustrated myself. It came about because when I meet little kids… and I love little kids… I always end up saying: “I like monkeys.”… because I do, but also because I love the responses I get from the kids, and I have been remembering them, and used them as the basis for this book. ($12.00… or 5,000 fresh bananas).
  5. The Lonely Little Wizard… Another book that I wrote and illustrated for young kids. It is just a cute story about a little wizard looking for a friend. ( $15.00… but it has to be real money, not magic money… sorry).
  6. Double Service… My most recent novel, this is a murder mystery set in World War Two London. It is really just your basic murder mystery, but I think you might like it. ($9.95… or whatever the equivalent is in English pounds).

All these books are available by clicking the pictures of the books right over there in the sidebar. Think of it as supporting a starving artist or just the arts in general. Or knock a few people off your Christmas shopping list. I might even write some of you who buy it into my next novel or the one after that. I wrote some of my blog friends into the murder mystery. I am just funny that way.

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So, remember how we were in London last summer?

Of course you do… I spent a moth sharing pictures of our trip to Europe… And do you remember these pictures?

IMG_1646I shared a bunch of pictures of the two helicopters flying down the river Thames, and popping up right beside Big Ben and the Parliament building…

IMG_1633And I told you that they were filming a scene from a James Bond movie, and we were there to see it.

Well, we went and saw Spectre yesterday. It was exciting for a few reasons. First of all, it was our 16-year-old daughter’s first Bond movie. But then, to see the scenes at the end of the movie, where the bad guy’s helicopter is shot down, and to realize that we were all there to see part of it being made… that was freekin’ awesome!


Anyway, if you don’t remember the original posts I did, you should go back and read them, because I don’t want to tell the whole story again. I am just lazy that way.


Posted in Stories of my life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Is anybody else having weird problems since WordPress made the last unwanted changes?

The first thing I noticed was that when I clicked the new post button, I went to a blank page.

Next, I had trouble adding images to a new post.

Then, I couldn’t add stuff to my pages set to my buttons in the top bar anymore without going through the dashboard.

Now… and this is the most annoying one of all, my comment drop box menu is all messed up. If I click on a comment… whichever comment I click on first… that is the only one that will show in the secondary box where you reply to comments. I can click on more of the new comments, but the other pop up box remains the same. It is still the first comment I clicked on.

Hey, wordpress. You know what is more annoying than you making changes we don’t want?

You making changes we don’t want that mess up the stuff we do want.

Posted in stuff about blogging | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments