As Trump’s hotels continue to hemorrhage cash, and the only money he can rake in comes from siphoning off donations from other rich asshats and deluded poor people who think he can keep the scary dark people away, the Donald is looking for more ways to stay however rich he still is… you know, like by starting new product lines for businesses that he was supposed to have divested himself from.
In the spirit of helpfulness, I am going to try to come up with some ideas to help the guy out.
Fell free to chime in with ideas of your own.
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A lie perfecter, you know, because…! This tool would help sort through the facts and come up with plausible “alternative facts” that 99.7% of the public would buy. In the new MAGA-landia (Zeig heil!), this tool would allow the Fearless Leader lots of free time for golf and personal business deals that now is tied up in explaining himself. You will know when the transition happens, the machine is perfected because his photo will grace all USPS philatelic issues, coins, and paper currency. He, of course, will get a royalty for each impression. Low grade versions will be made available for the cabinet and upper tier appointees, such as Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Kellyanne Conway will not require a personal lie perfecter, having lead the way in it’s development.
wait… do they need help lying?
Not really!
I thought not