Meetin’ some mammals… the final chapter… the wildest mammals of all!

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Oh, don’t let the adorable smile and the big spit bubble behind it fool you. Of all the mammals you can meet, the wild human… especially the little ones… is by far the trickiest. They are wild, feral, and unpredictable.

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While it is true that they aren’t particularly fast, they startle easily, and can emit a a high-pitched vocalization that can overpower your senses. They also have the ability to produce noxious fumes and a wide array of horrendous bodily secretions.

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The smallest of them are not equipped for defensive biting… not that they won’t try to bite you anyway… but they can and will deliver a painful kick, and you should position yourself accordingly whenever approaching one.

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They are also watched over by very protective mothers, and you do not want to make the mother angry.

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Most of all, tiny humans are protected by a magical aura of adorableness… a cloud of cuteness, as it were, that distracts you, lulls you into a vulnerable state, and causes you to start babbling, act goofy, and make funny noises.

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The slightly older tiny humans are even more challenging to get close to. They are faster, stronger, and, as you can plainly see, are equipped with a formidable set of dental weaponry.

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Approach all small humans with care… you know, unless you are like me, and all small humans love you right off the bat.

*No small… or large… humans were injured during the making of this post*

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7 Responses to Meetin’ some mammals… the final chapter… the wildest mammals of all!

  1. I should say this was quite a worthy tribute to the mammalian spawn.
    Thumbs up!
    Please don’t suck on my thumb.

  2. Christopher says:

    At first I thought the big spit bubble was a ring and I thought, oh, so now they’re putting jewelry in the inside of their cheeks. What are these crazy hipster kids gonna pierce next?
    I’m glad it was just a spit bubble but nothing could tarnish the adorableness.

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