I keep getting messages from WordPress that I have a new follower… but I swear, some of those people are already following me. Obviously, it is not my place to question the methodology of the exalted humans… and perhaps aliens… who run this fabulous and quirky blogiverse we all inhabit… but I will anyway… because… you know… I have a head full of crack squirrels…
Have any of you noticed this strange phenomenon of the repeat followers? Am I just going senile? Are people unfollowing me and then refollowing me? And seriously, Mr. Spellchecker, how are unfollowing and refollowing not real words?
And this one bit of confusion led me to contemplate a few other facets of blogging that I am a little confused by. I seem to be being followed by quite few companies, businesses and corporations. I am not complaining, mind you, I just wonder if this is happening to you as well. I know corporations are people… according to prevailing Republican theory… but doesn’t it seem like they should be too busy doing work to spend time reading our blogs?
And as long as I am ranting about this stuff, I have to say that lately, my spam mail has been really lame. Most of it is composed of comments made by my favorite minions. People I know have been following me for a long time, and are helping out on that post where we are trying to break the record for the most comments on one WordPress private blog post. It seems that if a person leaves too many comments in one day, the robot guardians of WordPress assume they must be spam. But we didn’t get over 30,000 comments on one post without working at it, so these things are going to happen. But I used to get all kinds of crazy spam. I did posts about it. Now I get spam from my friends… or from people trying to sell me Adderall. What the hell is Adderall, and why are so many people trying to sell it to me. I get dozens of these a day? It sounds like it might be a drug that helps you do math. So maybe I do need it. Because I can’t… do math, I mean.
So anyway, I was wondering if we could take a brief poll… or if you could tell me a little about yourself. Because I can’t be sure who is slipping past the robots. Maybe you could answer a few quick questions…
1. Are you a real human being?
2. Have you ever followed me, unfollowed me, and then refollowed me?
3. Is there only one of you?
4. Are you a corporation?
5. Are you a human that works for a corporation but spends all of their time reading my blog… (which I am totally okay with, just so you know)?
6. Do you know what the hell Adderall is, and if so, can you tell me why they seem to think I really need to be taking it?
7. Do you ever wonder if WordPress is just messing with our heads?
8. Are you glad I ask the crazy questions, or do you just want me to go back to doing whatever it is I normally do around here… which really makes no sense at all because I don’t do anything ‘normally’ around here, and this is an awful lot like some of the stuff I do do… ha… I said do do…
Okay, enough of that… please join me tomorrow for a special post that clears up the questions that were raised by that post I did about the Gaza Strip. I am going to do the entire history of the Mideast… with maps and stuff… to explain why things are the way they are between the Israelis and the Palestinians. No… don’t worry… I know, we are talking about centuries of bloodshed and violence… but it is going to be funny… trust me…
Pouring My Art Out 
I have companies following me too! What’s up with that? Do they think if they follow me I will buy something from them?
We may never know the answer.
Yes, no, yes, no, no (hardly enough time on my hands to be human in the first place), yes (helps to tailor your writing), not quite, i am okay with it. i actually hope you be crazier than this.
Oh, I am crazier than this… trust me…
Really? I am pleased to hear that. Looking forward to seeing more of your guts then.
uh… sure
GAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I DON’T KNOW! AND NOW I’M SCARED!!! If you need me I will be curled up in fetal position under the big table in the secret room where we keep the cone of silence.
You keep it beside the ice cream cones and those things you put on your dog when they are chewing on themselves, right?
You. Are. A. Funny. Guy.
I like periods, obviously.
I won’t answer your questions because they are lame.
Ask me something with some spice.
Please.
I only do so much spice here… because… family show… sort of… but I like triple periods…
Israel is on the top part of Africa??? now that is good. …. I am just going to shake my head and Say AMERICANS! I live in the bottom part of Africa by the way.
and yes I am human.
commenting on another post on another post is just freaky… good job…
Lol, must have had two different of your stuff open at the same time.
I hate it when that happens.
1. Well… if Pinocchio was a real boy, and then was turned into a wooden toy again… Okay, that’s not quite right, so let me start over. TD awhile ago was saying that the majority of humans acted anything but human these days and so we should come up with a new name for those of us who actually still acted human. So… Okay, that’s getting confusing too. Can I start over? No, I’m not a real human. And, yes, I am a real human.
2. No.
3. There is only one djmatticus… but, the matticus kingdom has lots of people in it…
4. Not yet.
5. Yes.
6. It’s basically Soma. We will all be on it eventually.
7. No. Should I? Though, there are far more interesting things to spend time wondering about…
8. Keep on keeping on, whatever that means.
Yeah… you have to be human… no robot or alien could make that little sense… HA!
I believe that was my point all along.
right… just making sure…
1) I like to think so.
2) Yes, No, No
3) One…only one…that is a good thing.
4) No
5) Human-Yes, Corporation-No, Spend all my time reading your blog-Yes
6) Not a clue. I have never heard of it until I read this blog which, sadly, is my main source in learning about new stuff
7) Yes
8) Wait. What? Is this a trick question
Your main source of new stuff? That is so awesome. I am like the Daily Show of fake blog news!
It is a quantity thing.
Check out my new post… I will learn you all about the Mideast…
Yes, I’m human and no, I’m not a business. Checked out Adderall and it’s used for ADHD and narcolepsy. (Oh, look….SQUIRREL!!) Um, what was I saying? I’m getting a little sleepy now…
I don’t think Adderall would help the crack squirrels concentrate.
True, but it could put them to sleep. Even squirrels need a break from time to time.
you would think so…
Hey, I just wish I had more than 3 followers and yes I’m human, no, yes, no!
We all started off in the same place… and I believe you are human… no self-respecting alien or robot would contradict themselves like that… HA! And thanks for playing!
I’m a human being, followed and may have unfollowed and re-followed (I did that to a lot of folks when I wasn’t getting posts). Adderall is an ADHD med that may help papertrain those squirrels.
I forgot the rest of your questions.
I have been told that Adderall is like a synthetic speed… the squirrels will stat reading those papers… not peeing on them… and get smarter… and take over the world without me… and they will get all squirrely… and scratch holes in my skull…
Actually, my son took it for a short while and couldn’t sleep. Twelve year old sleep-deprived boys are no fun.
227 sleep-deprived squirrels are no fun either…
I MUST respond:
1. I think I’m human. There are varied opinions on this subject. It all depends on who you ask. Since you’ve asked me, YES.
2. No
3. Yes. Unless number 1 has messed up all answers about my humanity and potential for normalcy.
4. No
5. No
6. Adderral is for ADD or ADHD, I think.
7. I do wonder that sometimes.
8. Emphatically, YES I’m glad you ask the crazy questions. 😉
I think I like your last answer best… unless you are lying about being human… then I know I like your last answer best…
adderall is is synthetic speed…stronger than ritalin which is given to kids who have adhd or any kind of hyperactivity issues..lots of college students take adderall during exam week..and yes I’m a human and there is only one of me..and I have never unfollowed and then re-followed..and I dont corporations anymore 🙂
They are trying to sell fake speed to a guy with a head full of crack squirrels…??? That seems irresponsible.
Would love to help out here…
1. Yes
2. No
3. Yes
4. No
5. Officially…no. Unofficially…mmm maybe.
6. Adderall is use for people with ADHD, so again…mmm maybe.
7. Sometimes
8. I have no opinion
Hope this helps.
That helped a lot… I mean, it didn’t clear any of the mysteries up, but at least I know one of you is real… probably…