More silly tweets… for those of you who don’t do Twitter… brought to you by the crack squirrels that live in my big fat head…

*special Christmas edition*

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*I like Twitter… it makes stupid people shorten the things they would be saying anyway.

*I am not enlisting in the war on Christmas… Santa has an air force… and he knows when we are sleeping.

*Show me on this gingerbread man where the bad elf touched you…

*I know who the naughty people are… the nice ones are on their own.

*Naughty or nice… pick a side… when the war comes, you don’t want to be caught in the middle.

*I don’t want to be in charge of this planet anymore… you people are crazy.

*Yeah, I could type something funny… but then I would have to kill you…

*Walk a mile in my shoes? Ha! You can’t even lift the size 15’s, oh tiny-footed one!

*Fruitcake… neither a present nor a food item… remember that.

*Remember… you can all be replaced.

*You can’t make this stuff up… and yet, I do…

*If you tweet to Miley Cyrus, is that twerting???

*I am going to be nice, Santa… nice and naughty.

*Can we stop doing sexy Christmas songs… can we, huh?

*Life isn’t going to wait for you… try to keep up.

*Yappy Hew Near… I mean Nappy Yew Hear… oh forget it.

*I am going to rock this year like a new guitar.