This is not a post about how WordPress can make blogging better for us… or at least not make it worse by making changes none of us wants… I have done enough of those. These are just a few pointers to the new bloggers out there, little tips that might make blogging more fun… if not for you, than for the rest of us…
1. Humor->
Hey, we all like humor. I consider my blog to be a humor blog. If you are funny, more power to you. But can I just make one suggestion? If you do a post that isn’t funny, don’t tag it as ‘humor’. I’m sorry you contracted anal warts. But unless you can make anal warts amusing, don’t stick it up on the humor topic wall in the reader. Tag it as ‘medical conditions’ or ‘dammit, I have anal warts again’ or, maybe, ‘If you are reading this while eating chocolate covered raisins, you might want to know it is a post about anal warts’ .
2. Your pets->
Hey, we all love animals. But ask yourself, does the world really need another blog about dogs or cats? No matter how cute your pet is, you are going to be up against some stiff competition. But if you must do a whole blog about your pet, please, for the love of all that is decent, don’t do the entire blog pretending that your dog or cat is typing it themselves. This is only cute if you do it now and then. Any more than that and we all start wondering if maybe you need to spend more time with real people.
3. Your kids->
Hey, who doesn’t love kids? The thing is, either people don’t have kids, and don’t really care, or we have kids of our own, and we know dang well your kids aren’t cuter or smarter than our kids are. If you love your kids so much, stop blogging about them and take them to Disneyland or a museum. If you are giving out some good parenting advice, then keep up the good work. If you are just posting over and over about the cute things your kids say and do, we get it, your kids are the cutest and smartest human beings ever born… but that doesn’t mean that you are.
4. Your hateful viewpoints->
Hey, we all hate things… or people… now and then. If your blog is just a place for you to spread negativity, then all I can say is at least try to be clever or funny about it. If not, don’t tag it as humor. And I hope you end up with anal warts.
5. Religion->
Hey, we all support your right to a faith of your choice. But there are two kinds of people in the world. People who agree with you, and people who don’t. You aren’t going to convert the people who don’t share your faith, and you don’t need to preach to the people who already agree with you, do you?
6. 1,000-word posts that start off with: I don’t really have anything interesting to say->
Hey, we all have days where we can’t think of a post idea… well, I don’t, because I have a head full of squirrels on crack… but if you have nothing to say… say it… without using so many words…
7. Stuff you find on the internet->
Memes, cute cat videos, inspirational quotes… We have all found something on the internet that seemed like it was worth sharing. But not every day… If that is all you do, save it for Facebook… please…
————————-
I know this post may make me seem a little pompous. A little full of myself. I don’t speak for everyone. I’m sure there are lots of blogs that fit into one of the categories above and are still awesome. I guess I am just trying to say that you need to put your own spin on things. Try something new. Diversify. Or not… what the heck do I know?
Pouring My Art Out 
Loved your suggestions. As a relatively new blogger, I plan to really take them to heart. It will be hard, however, because I did miraculously survive parenthood and, therefore, sometimes want to hear my battles. Also, I do have a sense of humor that sometimes can be a little offputting.
Just one question: where can I get some of those squirrels– only I want the ones that are wine drinkers – so long as you can assure me that squirrels don’t cause warts.
Thanks,
DD
Please… never take any advice from me… that is what causes warts…
LOL after reading all the comments I kind of want to take my blog down….
People love your blog… I think there are people who have blogs that just reblog your posts…
haha ummmm why would anyone have a blog just to do that? I do have a few that reblog a couple and I always always always smile 🙂
always?
DON’T YOU DARE! I just read the date poem. You have talent and tales to tell. I want to reblog or use that poem at some point with your permission.
🙂 of course u can. Thanks for this kind comment 🙂
Spread the love…
I love the title of your blog lol
I heard a female comic coin the word “grape” in her monologue and have wanted to do a post on it but have been too tangled up in my body image series currently. I will try to find a link to her interview on NPR and send it your way. Her comment is a short part of the whole interview, but it got me thinking.
Yes email it to me. Hastywords@gmail.com
Give me time to dig it up. Thought I bookmarked it but I guess I hid it from myself. I emailed the link to another blogger so I’ll search the sent mails. I could search it on NPR, but the comics name is hiding in the cobwebs of my cranium. The harder I look, the deeper it hides. I’ll have to let it go to find it if you know what I mean.
The crack squirrels eat all my cobwebs
keep it clean
thinking… really?
It happens.
sure it does
…ooo000ooo…
Well there you go
Awww I failed this on 3 and 5.
I was just being silly anyway…
Tell it like it is Brutha!
I try
Keep it up Art – you’ll eventually have them all trained!
Just trying to help…
(Scraps plan for my cat penning a blog in which I refer to her as my child who does things better than everyone else’s cat/child who talks about her day sleeping and watching birds interspersed with her extreme right wing political views)
She may have anal warts though, something’s causing her to lick her arse all day.
But that post would work… totally
What? You don’t like my drag queens? What’s not to like? Seriously?
who said that?
I’m glad you weren’t saying that because drag queens are especially awesome
I know, right?
Right. I love a good drag show. Hell, I even love a bad drag show!
Elyse, having just read that whole “bubble” of commentary, I can’t tell you how proud I am of you holding your own against that tag team. Well done,Girl!
Why thank you, Michelle. I don’t know how I managed. Perhaps because I slept through much of it? That or it is because I am not much of an asshole!
You are AWESOME! Elyse.
Thanks, Michelle! It comes from having so many older siblings. Everybody was always picking on me. It was learn to fight back or die!
put ’em up
there you go
Well, wake me whent this mutual admiration society meeting is over. I’ll be giving my asshole a rest until then.
Girls just wanna have fun-unnnn
No problem here. I’m all about girls having fun.
but do they know that?
Well, I aways leave ’em laughing. Go ahead, Art. Hoist me on my own petard.
the whole idea of petard hoisting is you have to do it yourself…
Girls just want to have buns
ummm…
Are we voting?
Are we choosing up sides for teams now? Last time I got involved in coed teams, I had to switch hit. Or Is this becoming a girls against boys thing?
I could never keep up with any of you but I will cheer Elyse on all the way.
My mother had a very dry wit and cutting sense of humor so this comes easy to me. I use some humor on my blog, but I am nowhere near the nut case I am here. This is my play time. Can’t you just see all of us at the same party or convention. Everyone would want to know how they could join in the fun. “Where do I register for your seminar?”
I am the same way at work. I take my job very seriously, but the work has to be fun. The beauty of my job is that if today’s co-workers are drudges, I’ll be working with someone else next time. That’s how I’ve been able to work in the same industry for 42 years. The work has been mostly fun and the pain-in-the-asses have moved on.
Sounds like a good gig, Dan.
You’re right about wanting to party with Arts commenters. That would be a blast.
It has been a good gig. I have loved almost every minute of it. Even the bad days had pleasing moments within them. It has been about the people I am working with, not just the job. It’s always about the relationships How girly of me, huh?
oh… sexist remark… three points off
we should set that up
It may only be a dream, but it wouldn’t hurt to skull it out a little for fun. If it ever came to pass we would have a lot of the gound work done. For starters: Where? This may be another “Minion post” moment. You can thank me later.
knock yourself out… or up…
good on ya
sigh
I know. I’m trying to draw silkpurse out. Like Elyse needs any more encouragement in bashing us. She and HH can hold their own. Maybe I should let silkpurse stay demure. We already take enough whoopin’s.
Why poke the monkey?
We do not segregate
Well, it’s one thing to integrate with the girls, but do we have to aggregate wtih them too?
We are all just one big bundle of love… and nerves
She has guts…
Ahhhhhhhhhh. I was asleep during the funny parts. OR funny during the asleep parts. And I didn’t even get to post a link to my fart post. Life is not fair. It is, however tacky, as am I: http://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2013/07/14/confessions-of-a-pooter-pack/
I hate the anal warts God gave to my cat! I’m kidding! LOL.
uh…
Dude, I HATE cats, and I don’t really have anything to say, but… anal warts. I do have much to say about anal warts.
I’ll toss my two cents in. Sameness kills me. The same thing over and over, no matter what it is. Writing that never surprises. I can’t handle that. This is why I like your blog, there is never anything less than a surprise hereabouts. Plus you have good manners. And nice teeth. And that tight butt… I mean glasses. Tight sunglasses.
You must be getting bored of my blog by now, Trent. 🙂 Always the same thing… “gee, you can count to ten, sheesh, we get it already!”
Your lists are never the same… you just have a theme
X, you are excepted from any comments I may have on other blogs, as you a) don’t post every five minutes, b) always make me laugh while thinking and c) are just plain excellent. I have nothing further to add.
me too neither
Aw, thank you. Not posting every five minutes is actually the easiest part. (b) and (c) are the real challenge.
as easy as one two three
Trent, you just nailed the number one thing that makes me crazy. Please, no matter how funny you are, or interesting or anything else…please…not every five minutes. I have had to stop following people because they post too often. (Of course this is really my problem because I have to look because I am afraid I will miss something.) Other than that Art’s list is perfect.
If Art posted twice as much, I’d still read it all if I could. But you know Michele, there is the converse too: people who don’t necessarily post enough (hint hint).
I think the multiple posting thing confuses me. Maybe because I don’t have that much to say. Or don’t really want to say much about my life. I just want to write stories, and those come when they want to, or not at all.
I knew when I backed you up on that one that I opened the door for that hint, Trent.
Lately I have been having trouble with wanting to say too much so I end up not saying anything. Someday we should have a chat about that.
I think I understand that feeling. Chat away, Michele, that’s an interesting but beguiling topic.
go on…
Well. Riddle me this. Why would anyone be interested in my life, exactly?
Because most people are not really all that exciting… and the ones that are can’t usually write about it well.
Riddle me this. What is more interesting, at the end of the day, the bits of the lives that we can remember or foresee, or the bits we can make out of what is in our imagination?
Once again, I try to do both…
More than a few of my blogosphere comments resemble mini-posts. I usually paste them back to Word and archive them for editing and expading to full posts on my blog.
That’s a good idea, Dan. Why didn’t I think of that?
Would you like me to sardonically suggest why, or show you mercy though my infinitely benevolent spirit. Or do you want to call in Elyse to pinch hit for you. Don’t choke now. You can do this. 🙂 I mean, my God woman, you’re a producer, and of TV no less. Cutting rejoinders should be second nature.
Well, that’s me told. I guess I’m rusty.
Not rusty. Just too serious. Didn’t you see my comments on blogger death notices. Talk about serious. And then there’s this side of me. You may have been above the line, but you were in the production business. And It may have been TV, but surely you must have cut loose once in a while. Give me another shot. I have time to kill while waiting between presentations on the Oscars. Quit being nice to me. Give me a dig. I’m below the line. I’m used to it. You can do this.
Dan, Just getting my morning coffee into me and can’t even remember what we were talking about. It was a late night because I couldn’t go to bed until I saw the Crack Mayor on Kimmel and it took forever.
If you are reading these in email and not a reader, where it gives you handle, silkpurseproductions, to the right of that is the word “commented” in blue type. Click that word and it will take you to the exact spot in the thread where this conversation started. Basically it was about your feeling not up to running with the big dogs when we start quipping and I was trying to encourage you.
Oh, I know where it started, Dan. Not sure where it will end… It was really meant as a compliment to the three of you (at the time). You are all very clever and I was enjoying eavesdropping on the banter.
do it
Look at you! You just can’t wait for her to draw blood with me. Like Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York.
Bill: [after stabbing Priest] Look to me! Who is this under my knife!
I need to get my kicks
Rust never sleeps
what he said
…………
we hadn’t noticed
Thanks Art. That was kind of you.
sorry
I didn’t mean that sarcastically. You never call me out for my ramblings, just posting video clips, which I did stop once I understood the memory limitations.
I was apologizing for my sarcasm… even though I was trying to be funny
my ‘tips’ post is getting more comments than the record post… should we start over?
I do that in-between…
Do what in-between what, exactly?
tell stories of my life between silly stuff and serious writing and whatever else I do here.
I really do agree with that, Michelle. I sometimes pick and choose even the posts of favorite bloggers based on the titles. Because there is no way I can have a life and read everything everybody writes.
Except you, of course. 😉
Of course, that’s a given, Elyse, but I make it easy for you (as Trent likes to point out) by not posting very often.
I’m with Trend on this one — you have a lot to say and not just in comments! Write!
Trend… is that catching on?
easy and boring
Am I getting picked on here?
We can certainly arrange that.
ha
No, I meant it is boring for us… wait… that isn’t right either… I don’t know what I meant…
While on that topic, I completely understood what you were saying in “About” Elyse. Sometimes it’s all I can do to read and click “Liked” and run. There are times I may go back later and write but it can get consuming if you aren’t careful.
And sometimes the delete button is my friend. I don’t expect anyone to read everything I write either.
What? Oh, excuse me. Did you write something.?
Many brilliant things, of course. Quizz at 11.
Is “quizz” one of those brilliant things. BADA BING No mercy. Waiting in the duck and cover position here.
Yes. It’s called creative writing!
Excellent retort. Watching the Oscars?
Yup!
I usually don’t but am watching this year.
I have seen very few of these movies. But I love the dresses.
I liked Matthew Mcconaughey’s acceptance speech. I like to see people who are passionate about their principles and what matters to them.I think his passion is probably why he was chosen as the attorney in A Time To Kill. When I read Grisham’s book, his type was not at all what I saw for the role. I thought he was too young for the character in the book, but he was perfect because you believed he could still have ideals. He was like a younger, less mature, more impulsive Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird.
I had a former Pastor who used to call me a closet liberal when he learned I listened to NPR all the time.
you keep liberals in the closet?
So much about me you don’t know.
making me nervous
And much that you do, though.
would that it were
most of them
I am so annoyed. I forgot to post about my Oscars. Damn!
Found it. Read it. Commented. DONE.
Thanks!
bazinga
dang it
me too… but not at home
I need to stop making my new posts so good you all forget the record breaking one
ha
He is asking for it
I’ll bet there’s something dribbling down your leg in all this anticipation of her gunning me down.
not as much as if it was happening on the other post… but sure… why not
quizzical
ha
a juvenile delete-quent
My stuff does not require much concentration…
Excuse me. I lost my train of thought. You were saying?
exactly
Huh?
precisely
Hey… people pick which parts of the bible to believe… I picked no part… less hypocritical…
I used to have more play time than now. I have had to choose which post I respond to with Art so I don’t get my email swamped. Like Elyse, I sometimes just visit and “like” on blogs so the blogger knows I haven’t forsaken them. It’ easy and fun though to get caught up in the chat room like atmosphere on PMAO.
but this is not the chat room post…
No. This is the whipping post and Elyse is in charge of the lash it looks like. She seems to be enjoying too.
But she can whip us and the record at the same time
I try not to post too much… or at lest do mostly pictures on days I do a lot of posts… but the squirrels are going to do what they want
Your lists are always diabolically clever. That trumps sameness every time.
Thank you – because I genuinely worry that my shtick is getting old.
Nope.
still gets shticky
happens to all of us…
that is what I said
I have an incredibly tight butt… it seems to be shrinking…
It’s the Anusol working.
preparation H-bomb
Time to move on, eh waht, Guvner?
seems like
Goodnight guys. Eastern time here.
bye… or hello again
To be fair, what one person thinks is crude and unfunny, another might think is hilarious.
And there are an awful lot of religious bloggers out there, some I follow too, even though religion is vehemently not my thing.
I won’t “follow back” someone unless I’ve read their stuff and found it interesting. There’s enough room out there (and niches) for everyone.
The only one I’d second is don’t be hateful. But even if you are, I don’t have to read it.
I was just being silly. I don’t care what people do.
I was going to say you never run out of blog material! And, I’m funny dammit
I can’t keep up with my squirrels… and you are funny… when you aren’t depressing the hell out of me… HA!
ahaha!
oh yeah
What? Did you post a pic of yourself?
HAHAHAHAH-
*shows self out*
sigh
Hey, if there’s a low class moment to be had, I’m probably your guy!
we count on that
No but you should join my fb. I just put up pics of my snake. 🙂
cool
https://www.facebook.com/zoego42
Soo…you’re never going to forget the shot I just took at you?
*crap*
shot, what shot? 😉
Ha! Well played, Miss!
Why thank you, I’m here all night!
Excellent. I’ll have the veal.
And a diet coke with a lime please.
What time does the show start?
I call the waiter
call him what
“Hey waiter” to take our order
oh
It never ends
sigh
you love it
yeah
😉
ha
wait for it
oh… never mind
she never does
#4 insults my intelligence.
But seriously…
I think the problem with #1 is that too many people think they’re a lot funnier than they are. I’m still in my rookie year and I’ve noticed what short shelf lives so many humor blogs have.
And then there’s one on my blogroll that used to be funny but I think the blogger ran out of good content. (Not you.) So I think I’d add a #8: When starting a blog, remember that your 100th and 200th (etc.) posts will come a lot faster than you expect. Don’t choose a blog topic you can’t keep going and going with.
I’m funny dammit…lol I hate that you don’t think I am. 😉 (get it?)
My name is not dammit.
It’s Darnnit… Darnnit McDamnation.
Sorry bumbles
HA!
No problem.
But you can call me BP… because I’m slick.
spill your guts
Are you sure? They’re oily.
If you are going to start taking advice from me, you have bigger problems than oily guts
slicken BP!
uh
I think I get it… but I don’t know how funny it is… HA!
it’s funny i hate that you don’t think it is 😉
now that’s funny
why thank you. glad you clued in
sigh
When you first start your blog, even WordPress has a little advice page… one of the things they say is to be sure you actually have enough content for a blog. Anybody can talk about anything for a while.
I’m so glad you took the time to put up this list for all the newbies. Because I have rights on all these topics. Especially anal warts, which I would have in abundance only I no longer have an anus. Tag this “humor” and “too much information.”
ahaha!
did that sound sarcastic to anybody else?
Moi?
mooi
Please do a post about the… uh …accident?… that led to your loss of the anus… and tag it as humor… and philosophy…
No. No accident. I gave up my anus for medical science.
I think medical science set it free and I have a good idea of its whereabouts. I have been to some blogs recently that read like they have been written by an anus. Tag however you feel.
I’m thinking that I need to draft a who-dunnit about my anus.
My 15 minutes of fame will sadly be very different from what I had once hoped for.
Well, at least Warhol isn’t around to do a signed-and-numbered multi-panel, multi-color lithograph of it. Art is rather the artist though. OOOPS. You blinked. Let’s try that again. I know. So sorry. 😀
Oh shit. I mean, I would, if I had the correct orifice.
Whatcha got? We’re not sticklers for detail here. *Art groans, “HE’S back.”*
I cannot believe that I stepped into this of my own volition. Just cannot f’ing believe it.
Well, scrape it off your shoe before coming going back on the blog if you don’t mind.
I will. But there are so many other ummmm, things to worry about!
Well, I can see as I blogslog around why you would have other worries. Welcome to that club.
You are in a weird mood tonight
I slid over to her blog and read her “Doctor” post you commented on and saw how she could indeed have other concerns in her life. That’s all.
ok
I’ve been in that club for most of my life. There is no point in worrying. Being careful? Yup. Checking things out? Yup? Worrying wastes time and doesn’t give you any results!
I worry when I have nothing to worry about
Then all you need to do is knock on wood and throw salt over your shoulder.
I worry the wood has termites and the salt will blow in my eye
High levels of beer consumption have been proven to help with that condition.
Don’t worry. Be HOPPY. Yeah. it was a long way to go for a cheap laugh.
yeah it was
I would imagine
Keep the lair clean…
Stepped in it after you laid it…
Are you mixing up beds and toilets?
Beds and toilets? Are we starting a raunch edgeplay thread now?. Let’s don’t and say we did instead.
Ok. I’ll stop. But I’m warning you I have but skimmed the surface!
Skimmed or rimm…never mind.
now now
Butt skimmed
Yeah. I kind of caught that too. Umm?
great minds… great behinds
If we are, can we do it on the record post?
Better than on the bed. Messy messy.
uh… yeah?
Wouldn’t be the first time…
I got back… HA!
How do you keep from exploding?
I am an amazing woman. Trust me.
Amazing is the only kind of women found on Art’s blog. Each one has an amazing back story. You’re doing fine Slugger.
Thanks Dan. But I can’t find the punch line!
The gee spot
I have always attracted amazing women… just ask my wife…
I do
I can’t do a picture of an anus… this is a family blog
Think of it as a nature picture of a one-eyed, brown-eyed butt bird.
This has reached a new low…
Is that a new personal best of me or have is dethroned El Guapo too?
really… a throne joke now?
You won’t be the first person to get famous because of an asshole…
Is there an anus topic page?
Why? Do you need a something topical for that.Try Anusol 2.5% hydrodcortisone.
When I need an anus I go straight for the best… Dick Cheney
I’m sure they appreciated it…
If you don’t have an anus, that would mean you don’t give a sh… Oh, I see what you did there now.
Surprisingly, I give more shits than the average bear. But only in the woods when absolutely necessary. I do have my pride, if not my anus.
Well that is just fine with me, Poo Poo, erm, I mean, Boo Boo, so how-a-bout gettin’ back to grabbin’ some pic-a-nic baskets?
I do love Boo Boo. I did even when I had my entire derierre in tact.
He’s a pretty loveable little guy, isn’t he?
yes
in tact or intact? Nothing like a derriere with no tact…
I give up.
HA!
HA!
I gave at the office.
I give there too. And at home. And at the grocery store … and and and ..
It’s fascinating how blog comments can just turn on a dime. Sorry about that side of your life. When I first had my gall bladder out, much the same story. Is that Art sighing?
I will nit give you all the poop on someone else’s blog. Nope.
Not really into poop and edgeplay all that much anyway.
we are pushing the edge of the poop envelope
As long as we’re pushing envelops, loan me a stick of Beeman’s, Jack. I’ll pay you back later.
you have to lick the envelopes…
Then we send the envelopes supersonic airmail on the X-15 with Chuck Yeager, the Beeman’s.and all the other right stuff. TA DA.
but you licked poop envelopes…
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
nope
Uh oh.
ha
nit? nit pooping?
NIt? Nay, she will nit be telllin’ us. Is that Scotch/Irish?
not a nit or a wit…
Sigh. Not. I will NOT give. This getting either annoying or funnier.
you can’t win… nit wit is my specialty
” Sigh. Not. I will NOT give. This getting either annoying or funnier.” This getting? Now Elyse is compounding the typo situation. Time to end the Bounty of errors, stop papering this blog with typos, and throw in the towel. A triple whammy. SCORE!!!
a comedy of errors…
It might have been a fart
So in the moment of you.
What else do I have to work with?
I give… up…
Ha!
yeah ha!
But you didn’t give at the orifice…
So that means it wasn’t and orificial donation?
not in the least
If I had to chose one…
It is always so amusing to try to follow these bubbles and respond to them. Because they never make sense.
I just went to the actual post and cracked up because there were so many people commenting that I didn’t know about.
To which I can only say “Shit.”
I like to reply to the comments without any context…
HA!