I have the coolest followers of any blog I have ever seen. You all rock. I love your comments, your support, getting to know you. I don’t know how you ended up here, but I am glad you did.
You are like my family… my weird, slightly dysfunctional family.
I admit that often, my comment sections are funnier than the posts that set them off. This blog runs on comments. I am immensely proud of the fact that a few of my blog posts have over 1,000 comments on them (even though half of those are mine). But I do not play favorites. I do not love any of my children more than the ‘special’ ones.
I would like to pay tribute now to those of you who follow me and never say a word.
Let us not forget those people who follow from the sidelines… the terminally shy, the bashful, the word-challenged, the tongue-tied, those with computer malfunctions, the bots and spam sites, the Russian brides looking for a green card, the tawdry adult webcam links, the people who just came here because they got lost, the people who fell for my trick where I occasionally tag posts as ‘free porn’ or ‘big boobs’ and were looking for pictures of huge boobs or free porn and just stayed because I am so damn entertaining… the people who typed something freaky into a search engine because they are just weird and found me and now worship me, like, I don’t know, people who have enough spare time to search the entire internet looking for pictures of rainbows shooting out of a unicorn’s ass… The downtrodden, the huddled masses yearning to be amused, the old, retired people who are so bored that this seems like a fun place to hang out and they are afraid to go poking around the internet because they might get lost, the new bloggers desperate for attention but not sure of what to say, the websites that are trying to sell something and managed to slip past the spam filters, the people who showed up because I did one post that they were interested in and they saw it on one of those topic walls in the reader and now they are still waiting for me to do more posts about that, the people who followed me and then quit blogging but never cancelled their account with WordPress, the people who don’t speak English very well and aren’t really sure what is going on… (Of course, most of those people are Americans, everybody else on the planet seems to have mastered the English language fairly well)… And those people who come here often and just sit and watch the craziness unfold, certain that I will turn around and follow them one of these days even though I have the attention span of a gnat and if you don’t keep reminding me of your presence with comments I will most likely never even remember you were here in the first place because, hey, I’m old, and busy, and there are a lot of people here for me to keep track of and you know the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so obviously I pay more attention to the people who do comment, because I like to answer all the comments I get…
You are all my family. To each and every one of you, coming back day after day to see what antics I might devise to make you laugh, I send all my love.
Pouring My Art Out 
I love you too man! Are you drunk? I love everyone when I’m drunk, until I don’t. Then I hate everyone and the toilet bowl.
I hardly ever get drunk anymore… but when I do, I am the most interesting man in the world!
Oh I’ll bet. You’re interesting even when you’re sober! (PS my autocorrect tried to change ‘sober’ to ‘sorbet’. You would also be interesting as sorbet. Just saying)
I would be an awesome frozen fruity dessert snack
All your love received, I signed the Fedex’s guy pad this morning. It took me 3 hours to haul all of the boxes into my house. I’ll be sending you mine through Fedex as well.
Love is heavy
I think I’m in the “desperate for attention don’t know quite what to say” crowd…..LOL!
There, you said something… you get bumped up.
excellent
Pick a new category…
I suck?
There will be none of that… nobody who shows up here sucks… ever…
Oh ye of little faith… LOL!
I do have that…
I don’t know what to say. To that.
Ha… I stumped the panel.
I’m not a panel.
You are the whole solar array!
Brilliant
awww shucks
Yeah
shut up… I am busy giggling over the Cox Zucker machine!
You have a machine? Whoa.
Whoa, Nellie.
Is that your Cox-Zucker machine’s name?
No… I like the name it has.
What is that.
I forgot… the one you called it…
a
Have you ever paneled a stump?
Hell yeah I have.
That’s sick.
yup
You can’t be sending each of us All of your love. You can send each a portion or you can send all of it to each, individually, in which case we’d have to return it so you could send it out to the next person.
No… I am like a love factory. I make new love. I have half the crack squirrels running in wheels to power the factory. I am a love machine!
For me, the cool shades drew me in. Your sense of humor kept me coming back.
LOVE.THIS.POST. Ooh I wanna be interviewed! : D
-random Korean 17 year old fashion/art blogger.
Oh… sorry… you ended up in the spam folder for some reason… okay, you are on the list…
I feel ripped off! I come here to your site multiple times a day, read your posts & almost always make comments – where is the post devoted to me?
Funny you should mention that… I have been told that I should start a new series of posts where I interview my followers in… my own weird way… you could do one of those…
I could, I suppose, If you asked me nicely . . .
ha
Aw, thanks! I feel so loved. 🙂
Ha… long time no see, miss missy!
Hmmmm….I can’t remember exactly how I found you…I think I turned right at insanity and left at wackiness… *races off to double-check GPS*
Lost travelers account for 82% of my success.
I tremble to think of what happened to the other 18%.
Don’t ask, don’t tell…
Yarra marra garra.
If you can’t say Margarita, you have had one too many…
I shink I may has done
I will call you a cab… no flying for you today. Now pay your bill… ha!
Bill? Am I a goose? Oh yesh I yam
Take a gander at that.
Thank you for your shout out post! I love your posts, they make my days a little brighter. Your insane drive to be the last commentor on a post is also fun! 🙂 One day I will win!
No… you won’t… but thanks for playing… unless you wait until I die… then I guess, maybe, you might.
Miracles happen every day though 🙂
People die every day too… what’s your point?
The point is, one day I could win! I have hope.
You are hoping I die, aren’t you…
Nope because that would mean the end of your posts which would make many people sad including myself. What I am hoping for is that one day you never notice that I left the last comment. That sir, is what I’m hoping for.
Oh… well the odds are pretty good for that… I ain’t that bright and I forget stuff.
First off, I am Canadian…not Russian and I already have my green card (and no, it’s not green).
Okay, don’t tell the other kids, but the Canadians are my favorites…
I won’t tell…it’s how we plan to take over the world…one silent partner at a time!!!
I am very popular in Canada… and England and Ireland. My humor translates well into foreign languages like that.
Yes, I find that often the case…my humor is almost always, never understood!!
I always never understand most humor… even my own…
Yay another Canadian!
Oh ya…we da bomb!!! ( and can say that without being put on some fucking watch list!)
I know right?! Or should I say “eh?” Ahaha bomb list!
Just reading your work now…you have written so much of my
my?
Story…
I’m sorry to hear that
Aren’t we all? Thank you.
Yes you’re welcome.
Yes, you are.
I’m not…
Did I steal it, or just a lucky guess???
Yay… Americans aren’t the only ones who have trouble with the English language….
ha
so much of your what?
You are now being recorded by the NSA…
it’s possible
yeah it is
Only the ‘watch your language, Mr. sweary pants’ list! HA!!!
This place is crawling with them
that’s good, we should be taking over!
You tried that… but the flaming beavers love me!
pft
ha
What you aren’t handing out green cards? (Hey, get out of line – he doesn’t have any)…oh, any visas for techies?
I am not affiliated with the government… and I can’t marry all of you… legally…
maybe in Utah?
I don’t live there… I am not really crazy, I just pretend I am when I’m here.
This whole “reply” thing has got me confused, apparently, too. Anyway, let me repeat the punchline: I love this post.
Okay… I can live with that… oh mysterious, near-sighted tiger kitty person…
I wrote about that in my blog post today (you’re not the only one who is a master of shameless self-promotion, you know).
well played…
I had trouble figuring out how to answer this question, for lots of reasons, but I think the answer is “no.” Let me explain: I was following you, in some way, before. Now, I’m following you in an additional way, too.
wait… that gravatar description sounds familiar… I am so confused…
Take two: I love this post, even though it’s not about me.
You aren’t one of those weird people who aren’t following me yet, are you?
I love this post, Even thought it’s not about me.
I thought I covered everybody?
You did.
I mean, I left out the mentally deranged, the criminally insane and the brain dead…