More of my tweets… tweets so sweet, it will rot your mind… oh, yeah!

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*I am not a ‘glass is half empty’ kind of guy… I am a ‘why the hell is this glass so small?’ kind of guy…

*Life is a movie full of action and adventure and romance… try out for the starring role…

*Your love is a rose… soft, dew-kissed petals yield to my touch… ow… hey, watch it with the thorns, will ya?

*You are welcome… in every sense of the word…

*Thence, hence and whence are all real words… my spell checker says so… why don’t we use them anymore?

*I never say what it is I am trying to say… that’s what I am trying to say…

*Hitler was a Deutsch-bag…

*Get off your ass! And while you’re at it, get off mine too…

*Badgers? We don’t got to show you no stinkin’ badgers!!!

*Be good… better yet, be creative…

*Dude… my inner child just totally egged my house… WTF?

*I got my mojo risin’… the secret is hot air… lots of hot air…

*Seriously, can I be in charge of the world… for just one day… I can make things better…

*If an alien says he is sending a probe to Uranus, back away slowly…

*You picked a good time to unfollow me… because I just farted…

*I had to throw away my spurs… they kept jingle jangle jingling…

*Never pull yourself up by your bootstraps when you are drunk… ow…

*Jose, can you see, by the dawn’s early light?

*Keep your pants on… no, that isn’t just an expression… I really mean it…

*Keep that up and we aren’t going to let you play in any reindeer games!!!