A poem for WordPress, entitled;
Freshly Pressed!
—————————
Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed
Put my blogging to the test
Just let me do what I do best
Not that you need to be second-guessed
Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed
My ego needs to be caressed
Til now my words have been repressed
And just left hanging unexpressed
Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed
I stand before you quite undressed
I must admit that I am stressed
And that’s no way to treat a guest
Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed
WordPress, work at my behest
Help me fulfill this sacred quest
Until it’s done, I cannot rest
Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed
I do not mean to be a pest
This fledgling cannot leave the nest
Not til you honor this request
Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed
Into a child I have regressed
In my diapers I have messed
Not an easy thing to have confessed
Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed
I ride this wave upon its crest
As the sun sets in the West
I will beat upon my breast
Though it will wrinkle my tie and vest
And leave huge bruises on my chest
These are not just words I have finessed
This is not some shallow jest
I’m more than just a bit depressed
I know it’s a lot for you to digest
I know you need to be impressed
But by the Devil I’ve been possessed…
And my soul he doth molest…
Until my words by you are blessed…
My life contains no hint of zest..
So please make me… Freshly… Pressed…
Pouring My Art Out 
Reblogged this on tot123itsme.
You got know if that gets you in there Hasty will be Freshly Pissed!
HA!!! Good one. Freshly Pissed. Can I steal that?
No stealing I give…
Thanks.
suck up….
🙂
I take that as a compliment coming from you… HA!!!
FP has got boring again lately, they need to spice things up.
They are probably confused, you say nice things, then you harass them for your orange button. WordPress likes to be gently spooned.
I like to keep them on their toes. Now I amm playing the cazy girlfriend role… see how they like it.
Just stop short of John Wayne Bobbitting them
I hear you.
Ummm mental pics..
Those are the safest kind.
well that’s true, now change your diapers…
But I like the warm, squishy… oh, okay…
ewwww
What?
you know what
I know nothing!
yahuh
Bahaha Oh I love this!!!! Great one! 🙂
Thank you. I don’t think it worked, but it was fun to do.
Yes an interesting poem but not for the WP boffins
and definitely not for the head honcho sat at the top,
oh no if you want to be freshly pressed then you
need to be incredibly lucky, or even bloody fornunate
depending on how the cookie crumble that day 😦
One day your blog will be at the pinnacle of brilliance
but until then just sit back, grab a sexy nutter and think
big, well she will be grabbing something else most likely
so at least your poem wasn’t wasted on her 🙂
Andro
Once again, I deny having any nutter, sexy or otherwise, to grab anything at this time.
Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed
Your lovely skin I have caressed
My love for you I have professed
To have you what would you suggest?
I think I worked on mine longer. But I guess I missed a few words.
Yeah, no. No, yeah.
Okay Robert Plant.
K.I.N.K.Y!
I’ve been with Freshly Pressed before. She’s into that stuff.
Because you are the man.
I have no idea why.
Is that our new slogan, or are you just daydreaming about me?
You’re getting good at this begging thing!
There is a difference between begging and wooing… but not a big one…
Yes, your timing does meet the eye. Freshly who?
He is a rapper, I think.
You’re always fresh and always pressing my buttons. That has to count for something?
It makes me sound so sexy when you say it like that… so stop saying it like that.
I didn’t even mean it like that and now I see what you mean. Curse my word choice!
I always choose curse words whenever possible and inappropriate.
I don’t talk to enough children for that logic.
You read and comment on this blog as authored by Art yet dare speak to me of logic. An attack that is both oxymoronic and dichotomous. Remember them in Fantasia: the dancing dichotomuses in tutus. Don’t let him ride in the amphibious vehicle with the rest of us on the beach assault. Art. He’s being mean to me. Please, please, please.
I let him use logic because if I let him get his creative juices flowing it comes out sort of like toxic sludge…
You should change that… because they will change your world.
Well don’t do that here… it is a family show… we will show or anger through cleverosity and flaming beavers.
Well Mooselicker started it with his talk of cursing and choice words. With a name like that, I’ll bet he’s in cahoots with El Norte. He’s a mixer, that one.
I know, it seems like he should be Canadian, but he isn’t. If you think he is edgey here, he actually tones it down quite a bit because he knows I have kids. You should see what he says on his blog.
You mean you didn’t mean it like that on a conscious level…
Love the dissertation, I am deign to declare it a poetry or prose and raise it to the level of art.
I am deign with that.
You said “chest”.
hehehe.
Hope they listen. But being FP’d is overrated.
I just want to try it once.
They’re fools for not bestowing it on you already.
It’s all just a popularity contest man… oh… wait… it really sort of is, isn’t it…
Not even. It’s what given post on which given day got whatever given WP Word Wrangler (their title) all excited.
It is a popularity contest with a very small pool of judges?
When your talking about a small pool of judges your talking freshly pressed? This I thought few judges is millions of blogs for them to look at? Maybe it who you know?
The workings of the wordpress gods are a thing of mystery.
That I don’t know. I just know you get an email from a word wrangler telling you you’ve been fp’d.
I got this email after the fact, and was wondering why the hell my phone was going ballistic with email notifications.
I just look at it as one more little challenge… like getting my Tweets from Eric Idle and Ricky Gervais.
They do seem to be fairly arbitrary and give no bow shoots. I think they are retired IRS agents. “We’ve just done this and aren’t telling you why. You have the legal right to an appeal, but in the meanttime, tough. No checking account, No savings account. No IRA. No paychecks. Do we have your undivided attention now? Good. Make an appointment to speak to us a month from now.”
Wow… you are even more bitter and cynical than I am… you should have that looked at.
I usually get it lanced when it starts to fester.
As well you should.
A life lesson learned, my friend.
I learn a lot of those.
Great googly-moogly! The ending lines were so epic and heroic, it went into an endless rhymegasm – Freshly Pressed FTW! If this supreme piece of poetic wonderment doesn’t make it, I’m storming the FP castle, just like this!
We will bombard them with funny feaux-French insults!
Yes, we will fight them on the beaches if they do not publish this in the holy land, preferably under a nice big umbrella and surrounded by many pretty women serving cocktails.
So we need to invade a Club Med.
If that’s what it takes to get Freshly Pressed then yes – invite them on holiday! And if they refuse to come, why not invite Conan along to take care of business – there’s very few disputes that can’t be resolved with a gentle word in someone’s ear followed by several more screamed in rapid succession.
Nothing says Press me like an oath to Crom and a swinging broadsword…
Why do I get the feeling that this sounds like it belongs in the Romantic Monday section?
Because I am that shameless?
You’re multi-tasking – that’s what it is. I thought only females could do that.
No… very advanced males can do it for short periods of time.
Are you stating that you are a advanced male?
I thought it went without saying…
Right, my mistake give me a slap would you…
You have to stand in line for that it turns out.
And we’re already working a line that’s BACKED UP. I kill me too. If you can’t go for the gold, go for the cheap.
Oh man…
As the actress said to the bishop.
I think he’s doing a little wishful thinking there. I don’t believe any guy can bend that far forward for even a short period of time.
Not me.
Ha!
If that’s what it takes to get Freshly Pressed then yes – invite them on holiday! And if they refuse to come, why not invite Conan along to take care of business – there’s very few disputes that can’t be resolved with a gentle word in someone’s ear followed by several more screamed in rapid succession.
I guess,since we can’t go to Cuba like that snobby, snippy snot from waaay up north who shall go nameless but it rhymes with “always thinks she’s right.” Si la chaussure s’adapte…? You just have to love the net.
When I met Mrs. Right, I didn’t know her first name was Always…
Middle name; Forever. Full name: encore et toujours à droite
Gotta love the net, I tell you. She must be napping. Peace in our time.
This is like living in a town close to a dragons den.
El Norte incarnate. (She isn’t looking is she?) Our mission is before us, Art. Evil must die and good endure. Let us arm ourselves with the sword of truth and subdue the beast..
,
I would rather tame her and ride her… no… not like that… I just want to ride a dragon.
Scantily clad pretty women; and the glasses will be tall with long straws and little paper umbrellas in them and the drinks will be made with 151. Booking a flight as we speak..
No… we have to land in amphibious assault vehicles of some sort. Get in the spirit of the thing, Man.
But I was thinking spirits. I did mention 151. And we could use the straws as snorkels.
But I want to shell the beaches first. What good is a beach without a few shells sprinkled around?
Choose one:
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://montaraventures.com/pix/amphicar.jpg&imgrefurl=http://montaraventures.com/blog/2007/08/12/return-of-the-amphibian/&h=445&w=633&sz=64&tbnid=Oa3UknNbhLwb2M:&tbnh=91&tbnw=129&prev=/search%3Fq%3DAmphibious%2Bcar%2Bphotos%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=Amphibious+car+photos&usg=__jWwlP7sGV9mnednjn5ivdnymRI8=&docid=AXbncKEaPKt6tM&sa=X&ei=Sqa3UYutHMW20gG9moHoDA&ved=0CDUQ9QEwAg&dur=1312
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://blog.gadgetlite.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/amphibious-lamborghini-mod.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.gadgetlite.com/2009/03/02/worlds-amphibious-lamborghini/&h=603&w=804&sz=460&tbnid=D3VCcyeE2SCyoM:&tbnh=95&tbnw=126&prev=/search%3Fq%3Damphibious%2Bcar%2Bphotos%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=amphibious+car+photos&usg=__cpkavynTbNcxxbQ1DHwPjhTWBa4=&docid=n6wnf8uiwKey1M&sa=X&ei=CaK3UanhIdP84APnx4DACw&ved=0CDUQ9QEwAg&dur=9516
I can’t see them because my comment box is broken. All I see is code… like links or something.
Then click the link. Must I spoon feed you through this? Hopefully El Norte isn’t looking. I couldn’t get it to do just the pics. Sorry. Not that savvy. It may keep you from a copyright infringement too. I think that happened to El Norte recently when they shut her down briefly. They’ll jerk the rug right out..
Does the white one submerge like the James Bond car? Because if it does, I want that one.
I don’t know for sure whether the Lamborghini submerges, but the red one does. It’s a little leaky. We can stand up in it though. Can’t do that in the Lambo. How can we attract chicks in the Lambo if they can’t see us waving like that happy family in the little red number? So we go with the amphicar then? Think about it. Victory waving as we cruise among the shells and snowbirds on the beach. Just like the Rose Bowl, but without all the pollen.
When we storm the beach we will smile, wave, flex our mussles and call in artillery strikes, winning the hearts, minds and beverages of all the island maidens.
“We shall go on to the end, …, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches,…we shall never surrender, …, until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.”
Hang on, Winston. We’re coming. The Pouringmyartout expeditionary force is on its way.
Time to bail England out yet again.
Totally wonderful. You should be very pleased with your self. Hugs, Barbara
Thank you… I am both pleased and a little ashamed at my own shamelessness… which should be a contradiction in terms, but somehow isn’t.
I’m pulling for ya. Thanks for the laugh, by the way. I can send you a spare set of diapers if you need them.
That depends… ha!
I’ve filmed in the Tena factory. I know, Name dropping again. Twice in one day.I can make a trip to the Tena factory just south of me and buy in bulk and have them drop-shipped to your home in a plain brown crate from a plain brown UPS truck, whose facility I have also filmed commercials in many times. That makes three.
I will unload that plain brown crate from that plain brown truck, and fill a diaper with some plain brown poo.
By Jove, I think he’s got it! Forgive me G.B. Shaw.
It remains to be seen exactly who has what.
So funny!
No shame… no claim…
Enjoyed 🙂
Thanks. I have now resoted to blatant suck-uppiness, and I ain’t proud of it.