You people don’t deserve to have me as supreme leader of all the universes.
I hear the murmurings of discontent, the rumors of my head being too large, the accusations of abuses of power. Okay, maybe the rule about not dressing your dogs up in funny clothes went a little too far, but I did that for the dogs, not myself, because that is what they told me would make them happy.
Well, I am taking my big funny hat off my big swollen head and going home.
But in my short time in charge I stopped an alien invasion heading towards your planet. You know why they were coming here? Because they were upset about the fact that you hold cows hostage and steal their milk. And they, an advanced cow-like race, were coming here to revenge their bovine brothers and sisters. By holding you hostage and stealing your milk. So ladies, you owe me one.
Now let me tell you some of the other things I was getting ready to do.
1. I was going to make sure that everyone on this planet had a job. A job that not only pays well, but that gave you enough vacation time so that you could go on really long holidays two or three times a year.
2. I was going to make sure you all had enough food and access to medicine and doctors.
3. I was going to teach Kim Jong Un to make music videos like that Gangnam Style guy so he would stop stirring up trouble.
Pouring My Art Out 
Making Kim Jong Un perform a Gangnman Style video is always a good idea! You have my vote!
I already one the election and have been overthrown by a revolting peasantry… sorry.
CURSES!!
I only won because of low voter turnout. But it is a blow to all mankind, and many alien species as well.
As G_d is my witness…I will not rest until that video is made!!
I like your commitment.
SLU come back! We need you! Please just make adjustments to the minds of those complainers so they’ll quit complaining! SLUUUUU SLUUUUUU SLUUUUUU
It sounds like a pig calling contest.
wow crisis averted!
I guess.
Why quit now when you are on a roll… 🙂
I can’t stand the negative vibes. I am very sensitive.
Stomp out the negative vibes and thrive on the positive. 🙂
Sometimes it is easier to just run away.
Old saying that you can move a million times and your problems will always find you. Standing still and conquering them they never return. 🙂
Okay, I do like that saying.
🙂
No leaders are ever appreciated, you need to quash all detractors though. Unleash the cow people on them. I’m obviously coming over to your side.
I could have used you as an informant.
I like being sneaky. I hope nobody reading this gets wind of this devious scheme
It’s too late now anyway. I know when I ain’t wanted.
This is exactly the reaction that makes you deserving to be our ruler. Many others would have us locked up for treason, you are stepping aside.
You have passed the test, your highness.
I could always bow to public pressure and return to the porcelain throne.
sigh
Ha!
Arthur,
And here I was going to retire as the President of the World™ as you were doing such a fine job. And as I am such a lazy fuck.
Le Clown
I should have known I wasn’t ready.
This is the best post EVER! You are so funny!
I don’t feel funny. If I was really going to abuse my power, I would have ordered everyone to buy my book.
careful he might change his mind…
I never do that.
whatever, you just did
No I didn’t.
did so
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnO
i didn’t catch that…
I bet you did.
did what
Who knows?
well poooobah if you don’t…
I don’t.
then who
Exactly!!!
well not the seed! we can’t have a seed lead!
Oh man, I got jokes galore for that one.
i know
I know you know but what do I know?
nothing
I… oh forget it…
Ah, can’t take the heat, ehe? 😉
It was never going to last anyway.
It was a good run, though.
You would all have been so much better off.
ahaha! and he thought he could handle it!
You are the ones who can’t handle it.
ummmm….