I keep seeing commercials for ‘male enhancement’ pills on TV. At the end, there is always a warning that if you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, you should call a doctor. What I want to know is this; what if you experience that and you aren’t taking any medication at all?
No… I am not bragging. I am not even saying this is a problem I face regularly… anymore… But when I was a teenager, you know what we called an erection lasting more than four hours? We called it being a teenager. Or puberty. Or just ‘Friday night’.
I would hate to think that there were millions of teenage boys out there wondering if they should call 911 just because these commercials don’t make themselves clear.
So I hope I have set your minds at ease, young fellows. No need to call a doctor. Far better to call a girl. Just don’t be a jerk about it… ummmm… if you see what I mean.
Pouring My Art Out 
What?! I guess it would give you a pretty interesting excuse for not getting your homework done! Sorry Sir, only something popped up… ehum!
Steady! I expect more maturity from all of you than I do from myself.
Huh? What is this thing you call maturity??? I’ve always been gealous of boys/men – growing facial hair, different muscles and smells and all. Don’t get me wrong, happy to be a woman but I do find you creatures intriguing.
You used the words maturity and men in one comment. You have blown my mind. I am completely lost.
I think Peter Pan was written to let women in on the little secret you all think you are hiding so well. Ha! And now, I’m gealous again! All Wendy gets to do is darn socks and look after the brood. Yawn!
Those were simpler times. Especially for women.
True dat. I guess Hermione gets to do some cool things? OK, gealousy easing. Happy weekend!
We’ve come a long way baby.
Yeah, lets do it again sometime, cheaper than therapy and my therapist stopped calling me baby a long time ago. Of course, I jest! My therapist calls me baby all the time.
Ha!!! Which is my way of saying LOL because I hate LOL.
Yay! I hate LOL too. Someone actually LOL’d to my face once. I was like, you know I can see that you actually aren’t laughing out loud. Lets start a new anacronym then… ideas??
SOL… smile out loud. Also shit out of luck.
Duel meanings, like it! How about NQLBPH. Not quite laughing but pretty happy? Rolls off the tongue no?
I like it.
If you have an erection that lasts more than 4 hours, call a cameraman, and a pizza delivery guy. Assuming you already have a woman.
At my age I am calling CNN… and all my friends.
You want Anderson Cooper to come take a look?
Well, he is no you, but at least I would have a shot… ha!!!!!
Actually, I know someone who went through this, and by the time the folks at the ER saw him, it had been 5 1/2 hours. They were sure he’d never function properly again. He actually drew a crowd. Every doctor and nurse had to stop by and gawk at him. But they brought in a large gauge syringe and a big bowl of ice, and eureka! They didn’t even have to use them. Instant self cure. And fortunately he’s back in fighting form.
Yeah, funny how a large needle pointed at the right place will suck the fun right out of… anything…
Ice in the crotch, more specifically, male crotch is an amazing thing. My brother is a quad and can’t regulate his body temperature; when his temperature spikes, a bag of ice between his legs brings it back down pretty fast.
Maybe this explains the desire for hell to freeze over- the eternal erection. Could Viagra have been created by Satan a/k/a Dick Cheney?
You just blew my mind…
I have to admit that this post gave me somewhat of an erection. I don’t think it will last four hours, but it was a pleasant enough experience.
You crack me up.
Likewise, sir.
Our inter-self-amusement knows no bounds.
That sounds a bit dirty.
No matter what we say some of the people who show up here will take it straight to a dirty place anyway. We might as well run with it.
Run hard, my son, run hard.
They always find you in the end… uh… I mean… ummmm
Ummmm… oh boy.
Ha!
A needed public service announcement
Thank you, Sir!
Someone needs to invent a crash helmet for the little guy too – if your erection is going to be inconsiderate enough to last longer than the average 30 seconds of ‘oooof, whammy!’, it’s no good having the old chap banging into everything like a pair of horny bulls in a china shop – you’ll end up putting someone’s eye out with that if you’re not careful!
okay… that made me laugh.
Really? I was being deadly serious! It’s no laughing matter when your porksword gets a mind of it’s own and goes on a lusty, thrusty kill crazy rampage. Just ask Vig Diesel the last time he had one. Or even Conan The Cialisarian!
Oh you did not just dis my friend Conan…
I would never disrespect the mighty Conan O’Brienbarian….oh no, I’ve done it again, call him off, please! Conan – if you’re going to drink beer from my freshly hollowed out skull then can I at least finish this pack of biscuits first?
Yes… it takes time for him to sharpen the sword… the steel one… not the… uh… meat one… just so you know.
I reckon he sharpens his steel one on his meaty one because he’s one tough SOB – probably eye watering to watch but you won’t have long to contemplate it before you’re on the business end of the pointy one!
It pays to be respectful. Especially to him.
Respect and Conan do go a long way – particularly after you disrespect him and he kicks you in the teeth.
You could still mumble insults at him.
I’m really hoping things don’t escalate that far though. I’m saying – “Let’s give love and teeth a chance.” You mean peace? Yeah, that too!
You are a wise man.
I get wiser every day I’m interacting with people like your good self.
Thanks and likewise.
All we are saying, is give teeth a chance… lol
Dude – great slogan – if we can’t get the National Dentistry Association interested in picking it up then we’ll send Conan round to let them know that it’s hard to pick up your teeth with broken fingers.
Conan could work with the dentists. Much cheaper to use him to remove teeth than them.
All hail Conan – Patron Saint of Dentistry! “Conan – what is best in life?” Conan:- “To crush cavities, see gleaming dentures before you and hear lamentation at the hands of the oral hygienist!
So you are a real fan. Now I feel better.
I’ll say. Although I’ve not seen the recent remake for fear that they have burnt down the House of Glorious Conan and peed on the ashes. The review look pretty bad. I really should check out the books too.
Oh… you need to read the original Robert E. Howard books. I also have tones of the old Conan comics and Savage Sword of Conan magazines… and King Conan… sigh…
Wow. That is a lot of Conan. I feel the same way about Judge Dredd, I started to collect the comics religiously, sold them all and now I’m starting all over again with the collections. This looks interesting (see link below) – I wonder if this covers most/all of the Conan novels published?
That seems to do a good job.
Those commercials are so… well let’s just say this made me laugh right out loud. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks… but I still feel bad for doing it.