Researchers, after looking at hundreds of old images of ships being dragged to the bottom of the sea by giant, mythical beasts, have determined that the most likely explanation for the giant tentacles reported by seafaring men is, in fact, whale penises.

Yes, that is a real whale penis, and yes, it is bigger than you are probably thinking it is.

And no, I am not making any of this up.

Adds a new meaning to the phrase ‘release the Kraken!’… unless you have already been using the phrase in that manner, guys.