Getting away with being a really horrible person: A how-to guide… the final horribleness…


This final lesson on how to get away with being a really horrible person is for only the most committed, hardcore, fanatic, life-long horrible people. The ones who were either born horrible, or had something horrible happen to them during childhood that made them that way. If you just became a horrible person to play along with my satirical premise, DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS!!!

When you have been seen doing horrible things, or heard saying horrible things, so often and by so many people, and there is videotape floating around that clearly shows you as a horrible person, and the accusations just keep flooding in, there is only one way to go. You have to do way more horrible stuff.

Yeah, you heard me. Up your game. You have to do more horrible things. A lot more. Like, at the very least, one horrible thing, each and every day. Or more, if you have the time and creativity. I know, i seems counter intuitive, but here is how it works:

When you do a horrible thing, people will be shocked and angry, they will be outraged. All of these emotions take time and energy. They take more focus than doing and saying horrible things. And they can’t be sustained around the clock indefinitely. So if a person keeps up a steady pace of horribleness, people will burn out. The key is in the pacing. People will be busy processing the last horrible thing you did, and trying to decide what to do about it, when, BAM, you hit them with another horrible thing. This will make them forget about the last horrible thing you did to start being upset about the newest one.

Look at it this way. If someone walked up to you and poured a jar full of urine on your head, you would be pretty upset. But what if, while you were trying to decide whether to call the cops or just punch them in the face, they suddenly pulled out a can of blue spray paint and painted your face blue? And, as you are mulling over your emotions about this newest assault, they pulled a plastic bag full of dog poop out of their pocket, pulled it out of the bag, and smeared it all over your face. Now, which of these horrible things are you upset about? By this point, the urine and the blue paint seem like not all that big of a deal, am I right?

On a lighter note, I am done with tRump, at least for a while. If you are as upset as I am, you already agree with me. If you like him, nothing I do here is going to change your mind. Hey, I am a white male. I will probably survive his presidency. Unless I actually do end up in a concentration camp, all I have to suffer through is the knowledge that America is a lot stupider than I thought it was, and that the world will never take us seriously again. For all of you who weren’t born male and white, all I can say is that I am sorry, and I have done what I could.

About pouringmyartout

You will laugh at my antics... That is my solemn promise to you... Or your money back... Stop on by...
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2 Responses to Getting away with being a really horrible person: A how-to guide… the final horribleness…

  1. List of X says:

    So if I took your whole course, does that mean I’m the president now?

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