A rewritten song for my friend, Big Johnny…(to the tune of ‘Fat Bottom Girls’ by Queen)…

I used to be a raging beast

Didn’t know my West from East

And I had major problems with authority

But your great big toothy smile

And your whimsical sense of style

Big bad Johnny, you done made a good man of me


Yeah you were also pretty wild

Like an over-sized biker child

Black leather jackets and that crazy Rasta hair

Now we’re puttin’ on some weight

We don’t eat dinner quite so late

And we both enjoy a nice reclining chair


Are you gonna go to bed early tonight

Pass out while the sun’s still shining bright

Or, will you maybe drink one beer

Great big Johnny, you helped me make it through the years


Well, now we’ve both got awesome wives

We’ve got complicated lives

We got, what do you call it, yeah, responsibility

And instead of being bad

We’re both too busy being ‘Dad’

Hoping man, those kids better not misbehave like me


Are you gonna turn in early tonight

Right after the kid’s tucked in nice and tight

Or, maybe even pay a bill or two

Big sweet Johnny, I smile when I think of you


We got mortgages and homes

We got painful, creaky bones

We won’t be modeling underwear for Kalvin Klein

But we wouldn’t trade it in

Fort all those years of sin

‘Cause when you get down to it, hey, we are doin’ fine


Are you gonna nod off on the couch

After grumbling like a grouch

Are you gonna maybe think of me

Great big Johnny, you make my middle age worthwhile…



About pouringmyartout

You will laugh at my antics... That is my solemn promise to you... Or your money back... Stop on by...
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