Here is the thing… we might as well get this thing out of the way quickly, because this is the worst thing out of all the things that somehow show up on my blog… but the thing is, you can’t really count on bloggers because the sad truth is that they have a tendency to vanish.
I will wait for you to stop swearing at your computer or phone or iPad or whatever before I continue. Because I know you are shocked and angry, and right now, it is easier for you to assume that I am lying and/or crazy. But I don’t know how else to break it to you.
Bloggers have a high turnover rate. As my biker friends used to say… (sort of)… bloggers live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse. Bloggers burn out or get bored and wander off. I am running out of metaphors here.
Look at it this way. It is a simple matter of mathematics… which I suck at so I am not going to actually do any… but in the military, this is called ‘attrition’. In World War Two, there were many ground and air combat units that suffered over 100% casualties. Some, like the bomber crews flying over Germany and the Army and Marine unites that were constantly sent back into the line for extended periods, suffered losses of well over 300%.
This does not mean that everybody in the unit was killed. It meant that, sooner or later, most of them were killed, wounded and/or captured. Yes, there were the few rare and lucky individuals that survived in that unit throughout the entire war, but most of them were hit eventually, and then were replaced by some new guy, who was then hit, who was replaced by another new guy and so on. This is attrition in a nutshell.
Blogging is like that… well… without the getting shot or blown up part…
It happens for various reasons. Some people get so deep into the blogging that they literally burn themselves out. It becomes a chore. It isn’t fun anymore.
Some didn’t have all that much to say to begin with and they just run out of ideas.
Many of your fellow bloggers suffer from serious physical and/or mental health issues and this takes a toll.
And some get depressed by the fact that people they thought were their friends just vanished one day and didn’t even bother to say goodbye.
This post is, in a way, about exactly that kind of situation. Someone that a lot of bloggers I know felt close to, recently, and with almost no fanfare whatsoever, closed up shop. And people are talking and worrying and feeling betrayed or hurt. And I thought about how many times I have gone through this in one form or another. I mean, some people do say goodbye. Or they hand their blogs over to guest posters for a while, or just slowly start posting and commenting less. Others come right out and say they are leaving for whatever reasons they have.
And my head minion is missing and I have no idea if he is planning on coming back or not.
I have been doing this blog for over two years, and now that I think about it, there isn’t one person here who was here when I first started. But I am not going to let it get me down… even though a lot of these people were people that I exchanged emails with and I felt that I really sort of knew them.
When you get right down to it, your fellow bloggers don’t really owe you anything, not even an explanation of their behavior. Yes, it would be nice, but they don’t owe it to you. They aren’t your family… and be honest, even your family lets you down more often than you would like.
I’m not trying to depress you. I am just making observations based on experience. But if you are depressed. I don’t blame you. I am now feeling a little depressed myself.
Pouring My Art Out 
Sorry, I’m one of the missing too! I will come back after I move.
It wasn’t to make people feel bad…
So you totally missed the part where I’m moving! Not just across the city either!
well unless you are moving close to San Diego… or to another country… I guess I figured you would tell us about it.
I get where you are coming from, for different reasons but the same result. Yeah, that’s cryptic (or not really) but end result is the same: people move on and you realize the hard way that a friendship was more one-sided than you ever thought (not saying this is your case…I am projecting, ya know…).
I may not comment everyday, but yeah, you are kind of stuck with me.
YAY… but I refuse to look at it like these people don’t care about me just because they left… I am way to self-absorbed for that… HA
Because a lot of the people I interact with are writers I get used to them disappearing while they are working on a new book then back in full force when launch time rolls round, quite a few have made it from blog interactions to friends on FB and we share I home lives as well so as with one or two I know it is home life which is holding them back from blogging at the minute, sometimes there is always a worry when some people disappear and occasionally you find out the outcome some times you never do but in many ways that is like real life. I work in a supermarket for a day job and see people week in week out talk about their lives their joy and pain then sometimes they just disappear and you wonder where they went, the chances are you never find out just hope your worst fears are not true and the are safe and well.
Right, and I am not trying to make anybody feel bad for doing what they have to do. But I thinks I was letting out some emotions for lots of people in lots of situations.
List of X predates you by a mile, Art, so don’t get too depressed. Not everyone leaves…
Right, but I didn’t meet him until later, so my point is still valid.
So they only count if you knew them on day one?
Not at all, I was just using that as an example of the turnaround inherent in blogging. Like the real world, the friends I met the earliest aren’t always the ones I like best… buddy… pal… sweetheart…
I just hope everything is okay. And trust me, my backstabbing had nothing to do with this.
but do you have an alibi?
Or sometimes bloggers would love to blog because it’s the only thing they really enjoy but their friggin’ lives get in the way and until they get the damn warehouse with the loft apartment built they have to work 24/7 but they hope it will be done by Thanksgiving so they can go back to their former slacker-blogger selves.
Who disappeared, Ed, Trent, who?
Well, how long does someone have to be missing before we miss them? Ed is gone… more or less… Trent is missing in action… Doobster seems to be gone… Hastywords is mostly missing… I can go on all day, but you do know I am not guilt-tripping you, right? I am redoing the last changes in that novel that has you in it… which, Ironically Trent is supposed to be editing for me… but you better be around when I get it published because you make an awesome London Cabbie.
I’ll be back once things settle down here in the hinterland. Your posts come to my inbox so I know what’s happening in your world as news breaks!
You might be one of two or three people who I have known longer… never think I don’t appreciate that
I’m sorry you’re feeling sad. On the brighter side (if it doesn’t depress you more to look at the brighter side), new bloggers join our ranks every day. You never know what wonderful new friend is waiting just around the corner. I don’t suppose this helps at all, but I will be here for a long time yet to come, or at least the foreseeable future.Personally, I just can’t bear to quit.
It does help, and I am really just expressing something that a lot of people have gone through when this happens. I have learned to deal with my sadness by throwing myself right in to being even more self-obsessed.
And of course we love your self-obsession.
Me too!!!
Most of the bloggers I became friends with in the early (heady 😉 ) days of blogging have stopped blogging. It is such a huge time suck that I do understand their absence. Sometimes I think of quitting too, but then something makes me post something else silly or that I think is important.
You are much closer to your head minion than I am, but I’m pretty sure he will be back — he does seem to take long breaks and then dig right back in. I’m sad about Doobster — he’s a good guy and to go from posting all the time to suddenly slicing it off is troublesome.
I really worry about the bloggin’ buddies with health problems who just stop —
Those are the troublingest ones
I understand this too deeply as you know, Arthur. We have talked about this before. I am guilty of it myself to some degree as we also spoke of when I stopped visiting a often as I once did. It’s understandable to some degree. Life happens, Their blog gets popular. Their topics are complex and sometimes painful to write about, or the blog is no longer fulfilling personally or meets the need it once did. Perhaps that need is no longer even there.
It’s difficult enough when we just taper off, but when the blog is taken down and you can’t even “visit the old neighborhood” on occasion, it can be sad and somewhat depressing. Oddly, even more painful is to find it gone private and they don’t respond to your request for a password. All those written memories denied. You wonder if you are the reason, of they are just deciding what to do. It’s indeed a painful place to fine oneself in.
Sometimes I miss the fun of just chatting since taking on the responsibility of authoring and especially to the degree that I do it. There will probably be a day when I too wonder why I am taking the time or circumstance will intervene. Blogging can be a time thief for the other things and people in your life if we aren’t careful. When you find it stimulating to be on a soapbox or stump, it can be difficult stepping down to join the real world around you. Our life being out of balance is not always the problem others find it to be.
I could see a time where I might scale back for a while… but I would talk everybody through the steps before during and after.
My biggest disappointment will be a lack of comments over time. To have a hundred page views of better with no or few comments makes you wonder how effective your blog is to your purpose. At that point, I could see putting the blog into archive with comments closed or not replying to them. If I am not affecting change, I don’t want to spend my energy in that way.
That is why;
A. I don’t try to be effective or affect anything… except funny bones…
B. I worry more about making it fun for me than I do for all of you… which is selfish but works…
C. Do a lot of different stuff so I suck the largest number of new people in I can…
D. Try not to worry about the fact that 80% of my followers are probably not even reading my stuff anymore or are just spam or business accounts… sigh…
I tried to write the previous response in Canadian, thus the bizarre lack of, as well as use of certain words. That, and I didn’t proof read it before I sent it.
you didn’t say “eh’…
I’m having a little problem with the accent.
Drink some Molson’s first… and put on a Mountie uniform…
Starting to feel more Canadian by the minute eh.
there you go
You seem understand the blogging world so well. I came in like a lion, but have had to scale back of late, after all, we have to eat. Like everything new, there is so much excitement at the beginning. That initial fire burns bright, and then there is only ash. Poof! OMG, have I gotten philosophical or what? Forget what I just said, the important thing is, I’m pretty sure I was wasn’t the evil minion who may have been run over by a deranged moose somewhere up in Canada.
It could always be worse
😦
precisely
Sorry to hear about this. It is sad, but sometimes they come back. I was sad when The Byronic Man stopped posting — I liked his humor — but he’s recently returned.
Maybe yours will too, someday.
Well I have watched a few hundred people slip away, so that would be something to see.
I read once that a lot of personal blogs don’t survive past 3 years. People find it hard to come up with new topics, they get busy, things like that.
It’s people like you who keep me coming back to the blogging world. I enjoy your sense of humor and the fun Photoshops you post. The crack squirrels are doing their job.
If I ever run out of content, please come to the funeral… and thanks.
This seems to happen in April, for some reason. And typically without any notice. They just…stop.
But I’m not giving up. For good and bad. Mostly bad, unfortunately… 😏
I hope so… although undoubtedly at one point they all thought they were here to stay…
There was a lot of burn-out in 2014…as well as out-burning…
well in-burning is just plain dangerous
And now I wonder how many followers are even still active…
I’m still around. Regarding posting, I’ve always had stage fright, even on the other blog. It is seeping into comments after an instance happened that I may actually post about. More than likely, you are stuck wifh me like gum…sorry.
I find that comforting, moving and exhilarating… and other good ‘ing’ words
If Doobster is one of those bloggers you’re referring to, I understand why you feel depressed. I feel a little bummed myself, since I enjoyed reading his posts, and since he seemed like such a nice person. But like you indicate, that’s the nature of blogging. It goes with the territory. And in a way, maybe that contributes to the intrigue of blogging. None of us owes anyone anything, and we can come and go whenever we wish.
Life is for the living, blogs are for the blogging…
You can’t have your life, and blog it too.
well… I can… and do…
You must be ambidextrous.
I am amphibidextrous… also, if you eat dextrose in two places, you are ambidextrose…
Awww – Arthur, don’t get depressed. I just started this blogging stuff and need you to hang in there for me! You never know what’s going on in someone’s life. I haven’t experienced the comings and goings of people I “know” yet, but I can see where you could definitely miss them. Sending you a big hug 🙂
thanks… but I bet you end up leaving me before I leave you… statistically…
And just what stats is that statement based on?
The stats that I put in that last post… about the sad truth about blogging… not one person who was here when I started is still here.
Sorry to hear that…I think it probably has a lot to do with why someone starts a blog in the first place. The ones that are more work related seem to serve a more lasting purpose than those that are personal.
And some people didn’t have a clear goal… there are only so many posts you can do where you pretend to be your own cat.
Ha that’s so true! I do know of a blog like that about cats, but I’m not judging- they have a lot of fun with it.
but for how long… and how long will it be fun to read it… it takes a more creative mind than mine to do that for years.
I agree – at least for the blog. Maybe they can turn their cat’s lives into a funny book someday. It’s interesting to think about the world of blogging and people’s motives, though.
we all have our reasons for being here
I’m still here. Doesn’t that count for something?
It sure the heck does!
There seems to be quite a few bloggers closing up shop recently, some big and some small. Two of the bloggers I had the most interaction with have shut down in just the last few weeks. I will miss them.
we need to move on
Maybe he’s just on vacation or something. I tried sending him an email.
It is just the overall idea, not just the individuals.
I know, and you’re right, people do tend to vanish online. They vanish in our face to face life too or drift away slowly with time too. I vanished when I was a teen and I think they still have my face on milk cartons.
I think I saw you… wait… that was a cartoon cow… sorry… HA!
LOL S’ok, it’s easy to confuse me with a cartoon cow sometimes.
well now I feel guilty about my little joke…
Noooo, I’m one of those ridiculously self-assured ole ladies who run around in crazy hats and such. I can take a joke.
phew… and yay… and HATS!
I can tell you’re feeling it.
right